Name: Klaus Kinski on Letterman, March 24, 1983
Uploaded: 2016-09-21T04:14:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Klaus Kinski on Letterman, March 24, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-21. Transcript available. By request: Klaus Kinski's only Late Night appearance.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Klaus Kinski on Letterman, March 24, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-21. Transcript available. By request: Klaus Kinski's only Late Night appearance.

Hello there. Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen.
My next guest is an international film star who has made over 180 films,
but can he balance anything on his face?
Well, he is best known for such unusual parts as the vampire Nosferatu,
and we're delighted that he is here with us tonight.
Please welcome Klaus Kinski.
High five. Pleasure to meet you, sir.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you very much for being here.
I was a little bit afraid you asked me the sort of things to do with the other
guy before me.
No. Have you ever balanced anything in your face?
No, not this, only this, but I watched you a lot of times.
I mean, and I couldn't sleep at night, and it's cracking in television.
There's nothing left anymore, and I push the button. It's always you.
Yeah, I know.
No, I don't mean it bad. I mean, I like that. It was funny.
That's very nice of you to say.
And then I had a little bit of pity, because I thought it was this guy who's
doing it every night.
He'd never get any sleep.
I still believed it when I came here, when they picked me up at the airport,
and they said, no, it's not live.
Yeah.
So this was actually could have been a reason to.
Yeah, it would be fun doing it at 12, 30 at night, but I think the audience
might be a little peculiar, you know?
But no, no, I am, I just be, I'm just, if it's night, I think it's night, I
think.
But, but it is a pleasure for me to be here.
It's a real honor for us.
I wanted to ask you about, we showed some photos of this, the vampire in Nosferatu.
Is that the most peculiar part you've played?
What do you mean exactly by peculiar?
No, I really mean, if I ask, I'm saying, I really mean, I don't understand it.
Well, can we show the picture again?
See, that's, that's what I mean by peculiar.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, maybe shaving my head, and so this is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I didn't like the makeup, I didn't want to have the makeup, I hate makeup.
And so he asked me so, every day, I mean, weeks before, every day, every day,
every day, to have this makeup.
And finally, I mean, I just, it was just so tiring that I said, okay, we have
it.
But I really didn't like it.
Yeah.
Because it was just, it took so long, it took five hours, I really, to put it
on.
It looks like it would be uncomfortable.
But besides this, I don't see a big difference between this one and any other
part.
It's pretty much all the same.
Yeah, that's right.
We have to do a commercial and take station identification, I think, and
balance our checkbooks.
Then we'll be back with Klaus Kinski.
Thank you very much, Paul Schaefer.
Very nice.
This gentleman is, of course, Klaus Kinski.
And Monday on this program, Viva, actress and cult figure will be here,
comedian George Miller, and the king of cheap horror movies, Mr. Roger Corman.
We had Werner Herzog on the program a couple of months ago.
I know that.
I mean, it was obvious because he was in New York here for other reasons.
And I couldn't.
But people told me, it must be a really good story what he's telling for 12
years all around the world.
Because they told me he repeated these things.
The same stories over and over again?
Yeah, the same story that he put it again on me.
Well, he was here talking about the film that you two did together, Fitzcarraldo.
Yeah.
And you were terrific, by the way.
Thank you.
But he also, let me ask you this.
How do you and Mr. Herzog get along as actor-director?
Not at all.
The thing was, I mean, half of fun and half of it, we were invited some years
ago in Telluride Colorado Festival.
And I told them already from before New York, from the opening of the movie.
And so, because they're always telling the same story.
I said, give me a break this time.
Don't repeat this.
And I'm like, okay, no, no, I promise you.
And we had a press conference, like a picnic, very, very relaxed and so on.
And then, in the end, he was telling the same time this story.
And they asked me, you know, what I think about it.
Because they were just amused about it.
And I said, first of all, I don't know this guy.
Which was true, I didn't want to know.
And then I said, I have to tell you that the story may be good, but there's
something wrong.
Because I never put the gun on me.
He could never put the gun on me because he didn't have a gun.
All right, now let's talk about the story that you're talking about.
No, I just want to tell you what.
And then he took the microphone out of my hand and I said, that's not true.
I had one, but I hid it.
So he didn't want to give up.
Okay, now let's go back.
Now let's talk about that story.
The story was that he says that you pulled a gun on him.
Yeah, you know, he said, there was not just a mess in there.
I mean, it was very exhausting there, about 40 or 45 hours to get there in the
jungle.
Was this on Fitzgerald?
No, no, Aguirre.
Okay.
And he said he put the gun on me in Aguirre.
I mean, Aguirre was 10 years more than 10 years ago.
And we arrived at night without having eaten anything for 24 hours.
Everybody fell in the mud and really insane.
And I just screamed out.
I said, okay, if this is going to continue, I'm the first one who's going away.
And he said, if you go away, I'll kill you.
I said, just come to my place, okay?
And I had my own raft.
And he was coming in the morning, but just apologizing.
I mean, that was...
So it actually happened.
I was the only one who had a Winchester rifle in the jungle.
He didn't have a gun.
Oh, so he threatened you.
He said, I'll kill you.
Yeah.
But he didn't have the gun.
He didn't have the gun.
You had the gun.
But you didn't threaten him.
No, I didn't threaten him because there was no...
I mean, I would have done something maybe without warning him.
Yeah.
No, I don't have to threaten him.
Yeah.
Not to kill him, but I mean, just, I don't know, whatever.
So this happened many times.
So that's a story that's...
You're tired of that story, and let's go on to other...
Now, would you do another film with Werner Herzog?
Maybe, maybe.
I mean, when I did the first...
Yeah, I really mean it.
When I did the first movie, I haven't spoken to him in about six years or so,
and I always
said, I don't want to see this guy anymore.
And then he came, he just called me one night, and one o'clock in the morning,
he said, if
I want to do this, two movies with him.
Then I did two movies, and I'd say, okay, no, never again.
And some years later, I did another movie.
So it may, yeah, it may happen, and maybe not.
Do you feel like when you're on location or on a set that you cause a lot of
commotion?
Oh, you didn't get your coffee?
No.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Werner, or Klaus would like coffee.
Do you want anything in it?
No, no, just coffee.
Just coffee.
I'm sorry, you're exactly right.
He had asked for coffee around noon, and we'll get you, I'm sorry, that is
silly.
Okay, now, when you're on a set on location, do you cause trouble?
Do you cause a lot of commotion?
No, there's no, it would be too exhausting to cause trouble, because most of
the time, whatever
the movie is, it's just exhausting enough to shoot a movie, okay?
And then, and then there's no point in, I mean, I did, you said before, I heard,
I heard
you said about 180 movies, and I did about 200, about, okay, now, the, no, I
had a lot
of trouble in my life, everybody knows it, all over the world, it was printed
in it, but
the thing is, yeah, there's no secret about it, but I had a lot of trouble.
I'm sorry.
But it's up to the, it's up to the, to the guy who's doing the movie, okay, or
the circumstances.
The truth is, if you were really causing trouble, you couldn't do 180 movies.
That's right, that's right, yeah, that's very logical, yeah.
So, but, if I really, that's right, deep in trouble.
That's right.
Now, sometimes I was really deep in trouble in my life, but I mean, okay.
How do you, have you seen your daughter, do you see much of Anastasia?
We call each other wherever it is, I mean, sometimes, I mean, I know, in Tokyo,
or there,
or, or, or, or, right, I mean, a distance of 20,000 miles or so.
No, last time we talked over the phone was, she called from the Bahamas, and I
was in, in California.
Yeah.
You must be very proud and pleased with her success.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, right.
And she's in Hollywood now, she's doing a movie.
Okay, now, but it is, it is completely, the circumstances already, I mean,
saying it, I mean, do a movie in a, deep in the jungle,
three, I mean, three days away from the next civilization.
Civilization, yeah, well, Fitzcarralo, you guys were buried in South America.
Or, or, or, or, or doing a guerra, and I had a, I had my costume weighed about,
I don't know, about 50 pounds,
and they, you just have to defend your, your life.
Oh, yeah.
So, because he is so unconscious sometimes that he just, you know, in the rapids,
so, without any, uh, any safety or so,
if you fall in, you just die, okay, and I remember one shot, he was running in,
he didn't want to listen to anybody, you know, to the Indians,
so, that we was running in a tree, and the tree cut at the raft in the middle,
and the raft was always already underwater like this, and I took my knife, and
I cut up my costume,
and he was, he was around the shot in a little speedboat, and he was not in
danger, okay?
Oh, no.
And they, and then he tried to tell me something, and I didn't let him finish
the line,
he said, if you just, just don't shut up, that I'd show you to the Piranias,
and they have eaten you in about, I don't know, in 30 seconds, okay?
This is, this is what, on the other hand, it's very easy, he was saying.
Yeah, no, I was talking too, too fast.
No, no, it's just a very entertaining story.
I'm not clear.
You're just being thrown at it.
No, I actually, I, he looked, no, I mean, we like each other very much,
on one hand, on one hand, I really, uh, sometimes I can't stand him, because it's
just,
but, but it's true that, uh, directors like having you in their films,
because you, you really bring, uh, a very unusual presence to the, to the
project, don't you?
No, no, I mean, I mean, I mean, the thing is, the four movies I did with him,
is most of the time he didn't even talk about what we're going to do.
He just let, let me do.
Yeah.
And, uh, uh, uh, I mean, yeah, it was good for him.
He just let, just let me do.
Otherwise, this, I want to say the circumstances,
if you are in a tough circumstance,
it is very, very stupid, uh, uh,
from a director to disturb you, right?
Right.
He should be, uh, he should satisfied with what you bring, you know?
Otherwise, uh, it's just the superficial, uh, trash what's coming out.
So that's why sometimes maybe we succeeded, I don't know,
but sometimes people liked what we did.
Yes.
Um, uh, on the other hand, he's very friendly, very nice with me.
He's just a pain in the ass.
No, I heard about, no, sometimes I can't stop it,
but I heard about this when I, I remember when I had
Good Morning America once here,
I must say it because it's true.
They said I should not say certain words,
but I can't have it.
Sometimes it just came out.
No, you can say pain in the ass.
Good.
That's, you can say that, can't you?
Yeah, you can say pain in the ass.
Say it again.
Pain in the ass.
Thank you.
It's such very often you're here.
That's all you want to hear to go.
No, it's fine.
Another time?
Uh, if, uh, I'm gonna have to ask you if you can come back
because we're, we're running a little late,
but I would love for you to come back
and we'll spend more time talking.
Yeah, okay.
Whenever, uh, you're in this part of the district.
Pleasure meeting you.
Klaus Kinsey, ladies and gentlemen.
And, uh, we'll be back with Paul Zimmerman.