Name: Donald Trump on Letterman, May 21, 1992
Uploaded: 2016-10-18T16:36:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Donald Trump on Letterman, May 21, 1992' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-10-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Donald Trump on Letterman, May 21, 1992' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-10-18. Transcript available.

Ladies and gentlemen, our next guest claims to be back and better than ever.
If that's true, why is he here?
Please welcome to the program the always interesting, dynamic Donald Trump.
Donald!
Donald, welcome to the program.
Nice to be with you, David.
You know, people have interest in you for a couple of reasons.
I can't imagine what that would be.
Let's just get right to the stuff that people want to know about.
First of all, are you solvent?
Well, I've had a hell of a year.
I've had a good year.
I had a miserable year last year along with everybody else in the real estate
industry.
But this year has been, as you know, sort of from reading the New York press, a
good year for me.
And the politicians killed the real estate industry, and we've done great.
Now, see, I don't know what that means when you say the politicians killed the
real estate industry.
Well, in 1986, they passed a tax change, the 1986 law,
which really, you look at what happened with Olympia in New York and Reichman
and everybody else,
and it's big trouble.
They lost incentives.
Real estate no longer became a good place to put your dough.
Exactly, and it's coming back strong now.
And we've worked hard over the last six months, and I think we have really done
a job.
Of course, now, here in New York City, people may get a warped perception of
how things actually are
because the New York Daily News and the New York Post, every day, day in, day
out,
they take stories like you and other popular kind of stories like that,
and they just sort of jam it down everyone's throat.
Now, were you ever near broke?
I was never near broke.
I was having a good time, and it was a good year to get a divorce.
Let's go back.
Let's go back.
If you don't mind, what did you have to unload?
Well, I didn't unload.
I sold things.
I sold the shuttle.
All right, the shuttle is no longer the Trump shuttle.
I unloaded the wife.
I will say...
Oh, my...
Tell me, why did I say that?
Yeah.
Although it was a good year to get a divorce.
That ought to cost you a couple extra million right there.
That could have been a very expensive save.
But it was.
It was a rough year for a lot of people,
and I came out really great, and I'm very happy about it.
The casinos are doing record business in Atlantic City.
We're up, I guess, 75%, and they're just doing record business,
and we just got certified on the west side of Manhattan
for the largest development in the world, actually, called Riverside South.
How many acres of land do you own over there?
It's 100 acres of land along the Hudson River behind Lincoln Center,
and it's really a spectacular piece of land.
And for 75 years, people have tried to get that piece of land zoned,
and now we're going to do it.
And what kind of things are you going to put over there?
It's going to be residential.
It's going to be studios.
Maybe NBC would be interested.
In fact, we talked to them originally about it,
and tremendous parkland and waterfront property.
You know what I'd like to see over there?
What?
One of those water parks and maybe a go-kart track.
A lot of people would.
Water slides and then like a mile and a half go-kart track and stuff.
It'd be great.
It'd be a lot of fun.
A lot of people would like that.
But again, I want to come back to this because for the reasons I stated earlier,
people are interested, and the New York press kind of magnifies all of this.
Were you ever really at a point when you thought,
man, I'm down, I'm out, it's nearly tap city for me?
Well, I was at a low point about a year and a half ago.
I was really in deep...
You ain't that rich, Don.
You can't come on here and say that.
And it was sort of interesting.
My wife was suing me for two and a half billion dollars, okay?
And the day that I had the worst day of my life, about a year and a half ago,
I had what's called a prenuptial agreement where if all else failed,
and unfortunately I disagree with, you know, divorce and everything else,
but if it happens, it happens.
The worst day of my life, bad story times, front page,
bad story, Wall Street Journal, a year and a half ago,
that was the final day that she said,
I think I'm going to honor the prenuptial agreement, give me $25 million.
And I said,
this is no time to be honoring that prenuptial agreement, but I did.
And it was sort of an interesting turn of events.
But it all worked out well, and, you know, here I am.
I'm not sure I understand that last little thing,
but let's go on to something else.
H. Ross Perot, what do you think of this guy?
I think he's interesting.
I think he's got a real shot.
Again, I watch what happened with the real estate industry
done by the politicians to a large extent,
and I'm very disappointed in the president
for not having stopped it.
The economy cannot come back
unless the real estate industry comes back,
and unless they put the incentives back into real estate.
And the politicians are starting to find that.
There's a lot of different things happening,
and you could see some real movement in that.
But I am very disappointed with the administration,
what they allow to happen to this industry.
It fuels every other industry.
Okay, but let's get back to the question.
H. Ross Perot,
is he a legitimate candidate, a viable candidate?
Could he step into the bureaucracy of the United States government
and make a change,
make anything work any better than it works now?
I mean, he doesn't know his positions,
and frankly, neither do I right now.
And you're going to have to see what happens.
I think that he's certainly viable.
He's got some great quips and some great color,
and it's going to be interesting.
I mean, with the Electoral College, anything could happen.
You could have the two winners not winning
and the third man getting in
because it's a democratically controlled Congress.
He's certainly viable.
It's going to be very interesting to see what happens.
I think he has a chance of winning.
Oh, really?
You actually do?
I think absolutely.
Would you vote for the man?
I think the country is so down.
I think we're in such a deep depression,
and nobody wants to talk about it.
The stock market's up.
If the stock market went down,
then we are officially in a depression in this country.
And so many people are disgusted with what's happened.
People that own homes,
their homes are worth one-half.
They're worth one-third.
You have a nice house, by the way.
Well, thank you very much.
But again, would you vote for him?
A man knowing what you know of real estate and finance?
I would conceivably vote.
I mean, I'd want to see some of his positions.
He hasn't made them clear,
but I certainly would.
I know him.
He's a hell of a guy.
He's a good guy.
Could you take him in a fight?
I think I could.
Speaking of fights,
explain to me now
what you were thinking about the Mike Tyson situation.
Shortly after the verdict was announced
that he had been convicted,
he was guilty of the crime,
you had a plan.
Now, what were you thinking there?
What was I thinking?
I was thinking that as soon as he gets out,
he's going to fight at my casinos.
Yeah, but you can't buy your way through...
Of course, I'm only kidding when I say that, folks.
I wish I could say that.
Mike Tyson was greeted at his door
at one o'clock in the morning by a woman.
He then...
Well, we don't need to go through the case again.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
The woman was dancing at eight o'clock,
and this guy's in jail for six years.
I don't understand it.
I think it's wrong.
Yeah, but the process of law prevailed.
Well, I think he had one of the worst defense lawyers
I've ever seen.
This was the worst defense.
I mean, their defense, essentially,
was that anybody that goes out with Mike Tyson
knows she's going to be raped,
and therefore Mike Tyson...
This is his defense.
I think it was a horrible job.
Well, everything you say may be true,
but still and all,
you can't come in and say,
okay, let's put the decision of the court aside.
Here, I have a plan.
I never said that.
Well, I think that was the impression people had of that.
What I said, really,
is that Mike Tyson should fight.
Mike Tyson should supply millions and millions
and millions of dollars to rape victims,
and I think that's a hell of a lot better
than him sitting in a jailhouse for six years.
Now, let him do some time.
Let him do some of this,
but this man could supply $30 million
just from one fight,
and that solves a lot more problems
and keeping him locked up
in solitary confinement doing nothing.
I think that Mike Tyson had a horrible defense.
I think he had a horrible defense for it.
But again, what you're saying is
that celebrities maybe should be treated differently
than lay people.
And I say Mike should serve some time
and everything else,
but to keep a man...
Here's a woman that was dancing
at his door at 1 o'clock
and the morning dancing,
but that's an important thing.
We don't need to get into this.
We don't need to get into this.
But that's an important thing.
Hey, don't get me hot, okay?
You know I'm only kidding.
I know, I know.
Hey, good to see you again.
Nice seeing you today.
Thank you for your time.
Donald Trump.
We'll be right back.