Name: New Halloween Costumes on Letterman, Oct. 31, 1983
Uploaded: 2016-10-28T00:13:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'New Halloween Costumes on Letterman, Oct. 31, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-10-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'New Halloween Costumes on Letterman, Oct. 31, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-10-28. Transcript available.

Halloween means a lot of things to a lot of people.
The bowl games, of course, the telethon,
all the long-distance phone bills,
and the first sunburn of the season.
But to me, Halloween means kids in costumes
coming to the door asking for handouts.
Well, tonight, our traditional basket on the front table
is well-stocked with goodies,
and we're ready to see just what kind of trick-or-treaters
we get here in the neighborhood.
Walk this way, won't you?
Gentlemen, how are you?
Hiram, Paul, Charlie, nice to see you.
Will, how are you, sir?
Well, here we are,
and I think I hear the doorbell now.
Yes, there it is.
Let's see what we have.
Come on in and say hello, if you will.
Hi, nice to see you.
Yes, regular skeleton costumes have been around for years,
but this new costume, also based on the human body,
has a good chance to be just as popular.
This, of course, is the human digestive system.
It's a very nice outfit,
and for you, son, we have a can of stewed tomatoes.
I'm going to put that in your bag.
Thank you very much.
Nice seeing you.
All right.
Yeah.
Let's see who else comes to the door.
I believe I heard the doorbell again, didn't I?
Hi.
Come on in, if you will.
Well, here's one of every youngster's favorite characters.
It's veteran actor Hal Holbrook.
Hal Holbrook.
But that's not all.
It's also Holbrook's most famous character role, Mark Twain.
That's quite a little costume there, and we have here for you, sir.
I tell you what, I'm going to give you the value pack of molly bolts.
You can screw these right into cement or concrete walls.
There you go, sir.
Thank you very much.
Nice of you to drop by.
Here, I'll hug you with the door.
Was that the door again?
Well, certainly having a busy evening, aren't we?
Hi.
Come on in.
Nice to see you.
Certain subjects just fascinate kids naturally.
Sometimes it's dinosaurs.
Sometimes it's video games.
This year, the big thing seems to be raw fish.
Well...
As a result, one of the outfits you probably saw a lot of tonight in your home
was the sushi costume.
That's a real nice thing there.
Let's see what we have for you.
I'm going to give you the genuine chamois.
There you are.
Help mom and dad with the car.
Thank you very much.
I don't know if you can see it, but the glow of delight on that little girl's
face when I handed her the chamois.
Yes, come on in.
Hi, how are you?
Nice to see you.
For little girls who like to make believe, here's a glamorous character from
the grown-up world.
This is a regular lady customer from a tanning center.
Oh, well, a good try anyway.
Let's see what we have for you.
Oh, here.
This is for...
This is the three-prong electrical adapter.
There you are.
I hope you and your folks get a lot of happy enjoyment out of that.
Thank you.
Good night.
Thanks for stopping by.
Happy Halloween to you, too.
Well, I guess that...
Oh, no.
There's apparently more coming.
How do you do?
Nice to see you.
Boy, I wish I had this costume when I was a kid.
This is the FBI informant.
Now, is your face obscured in shadowy darkness to protect your identity?
Yes.
Yes, okay.
I thought as much.
For you, son, we have the rubber nose clips.
These prevent nose and ear infections.
Enjoy those, won't you?
Thank you very much for visiting with us tonight.
I've been looking forward to this one all night.
This is the cable television installer.
Note here.
Sorry I missed you again.
We'll try to reschedule before Christmas your cable representative.
Okay.
There you go now.
Hi.
Come on out.
Or, come on in.
These darn mobile homes.
You just don't know.
You don't know which is out, which is in.
Well, this costume, this one fulfills the secret wish of many a daydreaming
youngster
to actually be the business manager and friend of Elvis Presley, Colonel Tom
Parker.
Yeah, we were worried about that one.
Well, oh, here you go, son.
Here we have for you 10 pounds of Idaho baking potatoes.
There you are.
Thank you very much.
Happy Halloween.
Good night.
I'll get it.
That's all right.
Thank you very much.
Good evening.
How are you?
Nice to see you.
Now, here's a costume.
Here's a costume that's right at home ringing a doorbell.
It's the Little Amway Distributor.
Have you got enough detergent in this household?
Don't tell me you bought it at the supermarket.
I've got a full line of products for the home.
Or perhaps you yourself might be interested in a distributorship.
Make a little extra money in your spare time.
Maybe, even, or maybe even retire wealthy at any early age.
Oh, well, that's very nice of you.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
I'll take these, and we have kind of a special gift for you, the Little Amway
Lady.
We have for you the live lobster.
I hope you enjoy it.
Put it right in there.
There you go.
Good night.
Thank you very much.
Hours and hours and hours of pleasurable dining.
Yes, come on in.
Oh, well, this is very interesting.
Last year, of course, the Smurfs were very popular the year before Star Wars.
This year, for some unknown reason, a lot of kids want to be this.
This is a carton of milk that's going bad.
Yes, and I believe this one's already turned.
Milk that's going bad.
Okay.
For you, son, we have the gift assortment of lunch and meats.
We have deli loaf, pickle loaf, chef's loaf, and beef bologna.
There you go.
Let me put that in here.
There you are, sir.
Thank you very much.
Happy Halloween.
Be careful.
Okay.
He'll be out there with the cable TV installer.
Well, that's it once again for Halloween here.
We'll be right back with Pee Wee Herman, folks.