Name: Humidifier/Dehumidifier Contest on Letterman, July 5, 1983
Uploaded: 2016-11-13T04:22:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Humidifier/Dehumidifier Contest on Letterman, July 5, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Humidifier/Dehumidifier Contest on Letterman, July 5, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-13. Transcript available.

Thank you, Paul, and welcome back to the show.
Yesterday, which was, you're watching this on Tuesday,
so yesterday and the day before on Sunday, that was the day,
we had our late-night family NBC picnic,
and we had plenty of fun, and kids had a good time,
grown-ups had a good time.
There was, however, one little incident that sort of marred the whole day.
Our own Jimmy Fitzgerald and Tommy Casabona,
two of the fine gentlemen who work as stagehands and so on and so forth
here in the studio, got into kind of an ugly argument
and pretty much put kind of a nasty edge on the whole day,
so I thought tonight we would have them out here
to discuss the argument and try and patch it up.
So, Tommy, Jimmy, come on out, if you will.
Tommy Casabona, ladies and gentlemen.
Sit down right here, Tommy. Come on.
Jimmy, sit down.
First of all, nice to see you guys again,
and I mentioned the fight.
What was it about?
Well, we were discussing the humidifier and the dehumidifier.
Uh-huh.
I said that the dehumidifier can pull more than the humidifier.
So your point is that the dehumidifier takes more water out of the air
than the humidifier puts into the air.
I doubt it very much.
And Jimmy, you were the other, yeah.
I just doubt it.
Yeah.
Now, where was the big picnic held this year?
NBC Industrial Park.
That's over in Rockland County, isn't it?
Rockland County.
Yeah.
The Palisades Parkway?
That's what I used.
Yeah.
Not only that, I followed him.
Yeah.
It's nice up there, isn't it?
I say it is.
Yeah.
Now, so I'm glad you guys settled down long enough to come to work today.
We're going to try and solve this.
It's actually an age-old argument, isn't it?
Come on over here, gentlemen.
All right.
Now, Tommy, you said it was the dehumidifier, right?
Correct.
Okay.
Now, this is the dehumidifier, is it?
That's right.
All right.
And over here, Jimmy, this is what you said.
It was the humidifier.
All right.
And your point is the humidifier works harder, is more efficient, and will last
longer than
the dehumidifier.
Absolutely.
So what we really have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a classic case of
opposing forces.
Now, all right, I'll tell you what we're going to do.
Let me, I just put this in.
We'll load this up back here.
And we'll start.
Is that right, Tommy?
Is that going to work like that?
Yes, that's right, baby.
Okay.
And the tank in the humidifier is now full of water.
I want to prove it.
Okay, yeah.
I'm going to slide it around.
Now, were there punches thrown yesterday at the picnic?
Oh, no.
Didn't get that.
Just a sociable argument.
Okay.
I don't know if you can see the...
It can be a sociable argument.
There.
It's full of water up to the yellow tape mark or the orange tape mark.
Okay.
So now, for once and for all, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to prove which
is stronger, the humidifier or the dehumidifier.
All right?
You want to start yours, Tommy?
Jimmy, you want to start yours?
Really?
Okay.
Okay.
Now, let's just...
It doesn't even sound stronger.
Well, sure, it sounds stronger, but it...
Well, this can pull a lot of stuff out of the air, this machine can.
And I think it can pull more out of the air than that can put into the air.
This humidifier, look, nine gallons of water when full.
Uh-huh.
It can put out a gallon of water an hour.
This can pull out 22 to 32 pints for every 24 hours.
Wow.
Okay.
All right.
Settle down, guys.
No, no.
Don't go at it again here.
Hold.
Well, how long will this take, exactly?
How much are you going to give us?
How long will we go to the end of the show?
All right.
We'll let it run.
And we'll compare the two.
All right.
Thank you very much, Jimmy.
Okay.
Tommy, thank you very much.
We'll let it go to the end of the show.
And then we'll, for once and for all, have a definitive answer.
We've got to go away here.
We'll be right back with P.J. O'Rourke, folks.
I want to thank my guest, Pee-wee Herman, and also P.J. O'Rourke,
Paul Schaefer in the band, and Mr. Bill Wendell.
Marv Albert will be rescheduled on an upcoming program.
My apologies to Marv.
We simply ran out of time because, as you can see,
we were having way too much fun here tonight.
Tomorrow night, Don King will be here also,
millionaire philanthropist Percy Ross and Bill Marr.
Tommy, Jimmy, turn off the machines.
Let's settle this for once and for all.
Okay.
Now, how do we do this?
We dump the water from the dehumidifier into the humidifier.
Can you turn that around, Jimmy?
Yes, sir.
And, Tommy, you said that this was the better machine.
I thought it was.
I know it is.
There's just hardly any moisture in this at all, Tommy.
That's pretty much it.
Now, the way that we can prove who the winner is?
Is if the water from the dehumidifier makes the humidifier overflow.
All right.
Well...
It started empty.
Mine started to fall.
That's right.
Tommy, you better get a cab, pal.
Okay.
Should we turn this around so they can see?
All right.
I mean, I've got to get a hose.
All right.
Here goes the water from the dehumidifier.
Now into the reservoir in the humidifier.
All right.
Did it overflow?
Did it...
No.
No.
All right.
Tommy, I think you owe, Jimmy, an apology.
I want you to shake hands and promise never to fight like that again.
It's silly, and there are no winners.
The dehumidifier, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, Jimmy.
Thank you, Tommy.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Good night, folks.
Go where the news is.
See NBC News Overnight next.