Name: Who Asked for It on Letterman, February 26, 1986
Uploaded: 2016-11-29T19:50:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Who Asked for It on Letterman, February 26, 1986' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Who Asked for It on Letterman, February 26, 1986' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-29. Transcript available.

We're going to do something we haven't done in quite some time.
We've thrown open our vast, what do you call it, television forum here to our
studio audience.
And they're going to ask for things that we can do for them tonight.
We have a gentleman standing at the microphone this very minute.
This is something called Who Asked For It.
Do we have music here, Paul?
Who Asked For It?
Yeah, music.
Yeah, Who Asked For It?
Who Asked For It?
It was you.
It must have been you.
Oh, by the way, we forgot to mention your radio show Sunday.
Oh, yeah.
Can we mention that?
We'll talk more about it tomorrow.
Let's mention that later.
All right.
Yeah, Who Asked For It?
And yes, sir, what is your name, please?
My name is Keith Connors.
Keith, nice to have you here.
Where are you from, Keith?
I'm from Philadelphia.
Uh-huh.
What do you do for a living?
I manage a hoagie shop there.
You manage a...
So your mind is probably all cluttered with details morning, noon, and night,
isn't it?
Yes, it is.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you could pry yourself away from the hoagies to be here tonight.
What can we do for you on Who Asked For It, Keith?
Well, my doctor tells me that my cholesterol level is dangerously low.
I was wondering if you could offer me some advice.
I'm sorry, it's low?
Yes, it's very low.
Oh, this is not good.
It should be high as you can get it.
And you need some what, sir?
I was wondering if you could offer me some advice.
Gee, I don't know.
That is...
That's kind of a puzzler.
You need to...
You really need to get it up there, that cholesterol.
I tell you what, we have a film.
It was produced by the AMA in conjunction with the National Association of Meat
Cutters.
And it's narrated by our own Billy, the late-night beef boy.
Hal, go ahead and roll that film for us.
Okay.
Watch this.
See if you...
To ensure that you're getting enough cholesterol in your diet, there's no
substitute for fatty
meats.
This 28-ounce beef steak supplies nearly half your daily cholesterol
requirement.
Or, try these fried lamb chops.
Your heart will literally skip a beat.
If you don't want too much butter on that rib roast, lard is a nice change of
pace.
And this baked ham swimming in melted cheese is chock-full of the artery-narrowing
fat your
body craves.
Finally, eggs and bacon aren't just for breakfast anymore.
They make an oily side dish that perfectly complements other cholesterol-laden
foods for
a well-balanced meal.
So, eat smart, America.
Eat fat.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Billy.
That's Billy, the late-night beef boy.
Yes, sir.
May I help you tonight on Who Asked For It?
By the way, this is nothing like viewer mail.
Go ahead, sir.
What is your name, please?
Benjamin Friedman.
Where are you from, Ben?
I'm sorry?
I say, where are you from, Ben?
I'm from Boston, Mass.
Nice to have you here.
That's the hub city, isn't it?
I don't know.
Yeah.
And what is your question, Ben?
Well, first off, I'm here with a bunch of friends, and I just wanted to say we
really
enjoy the show.
Thank you very much.
I think you're terrific, and Paul is terrific.
How about Billy, the late-night beef boy?
We enjoyed that as well.
But we were just wondering, in the future, is anything coming up that we can
look forward
to?
Anything exciting that you have planned that we can get enthusiastic about?
Some kind of a feature, some kind of an event, some kind of a...
You know, whatever you got there.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, as a matter of fact, there is something you can look forward to.
Hal, do we still have a copy of that promotion that NBC has been running all
week
for the new show?
Here it comes.
Okay.
Go ahead and roll that.
Watch this, Ben.
I think you'll enjoy this.
Take the $6 million man, bleach his hair, trim his beard, give him a bad
attitude and
a gun, and then send him traveling into the future, to a world where love no
longer exists.
Put it all together, and you've got Chris Elliott's new running character, The
Regulator Guy,
coming next week to late-night on most of these NBC stations.
Okay, there you go.
I hope you enjoy that.
Looks, uh...
Looks like a lot of fun.
That looks, uh, that looks very exciting.
That Chris Elliott is terrific.
Yeah.
I really like him a lot.
He should be on the show a little more often.
Yeah.
You know, he's almost like a god to me.
Yeah.
Thank you very much.
Is there...
Oh, yes, sir.
What is your name, sir?
Oh, hi, Dave.
Hi.
Hi.
Um, I'm a little worried about...
I say, what is your name, sir?
Uh, my name's Ned Bledlick.
Ned...
Ned...
Uh, Bledlick.
Ned Bledly.
Uh, Bled-Bled-Lick.
Bled-Lick.
All right, Ned, what can I do for you, sir?
Um, well, uh, I'm a little worried about, uh, my dog's, uh, hearing.
You're worried about your dog's hearing?
Yeah, um, I was just wondering, uh, if you could get Paul to play some of those,
um, you
know, those ultrasonic high notes to just...
Oh, very high-pitched notes?
Yeah, just sort of test out the...
Yeah, see if his auditory nerve is intact.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, we'll do that.
Paul, do you have some upper register stuff that we might...
I'll play some high notes here.
Yeah, the very high stuff.
Yeah.
And we'll just, uh...
All right, keep going.
Not responding.
No, it doesn't really seem to have much effect on the animal, does it?
Well, that's...
Oh.
There's...
There doesn't seem to be any, uh...
There doesn't seem to be...
He's, uh...
Sorry, why don't you...
He's sweating a little bit.
I guess he's getting a little nervous or something, basically.
Well, I guess I'll have to take him to the vet, eh?
Oh, yeah, take him to the vet.
Paul.
Paul.
Paul, did you see that?
The man's haircut started to bleed.
Uh...
Alec Guinness is here tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Uh, yes, sir.
I'm sorry.
Come on up to the microphone.
What is your name, please?
My name is John Tuttle.
Hi, John.
How are you?
What can I do for you tonight?
Well, I'd just like to take this opportunity to, uh, announce a, uh, a class
reunion that I'm organizing.
Uh-huh.
And, uh...
What, what class is that, John?
It's the, uh, 1985 graduating class of the New York, uh, ballet.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, and when will, when will the reunion be, John?
As soon as possible.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, where, where is it going to be held?
Uh, in a cabin, uh, in, in the woods.
Uh-huh.
The, uh, you know, John, you don't, you don't look like a, a ballet dancer,
exactly.
No, I, I ain't no ballet dancer.
Well, uh, I guess, uh, jeez, I think my ears are bleeding now.
Gee, I, I guess your classmates have all the information they need now.
Yeah, you could come.
No, no, no, no thanks.
Well.
Okay, John, good luck to you.
Thank you.
Okay.
Oh, God.
Yes, oh, wait, we have a, a young lady in the audience.
How do you do, ma'am?
What is your name?
Uh, my name's Pat Kennedy.
Pat, where are you from?
I'm from Narragansett, Rhode Island.
Oh, that's a lovely community.
What do you do for a living?
You're not a clamor, are you?
Uh, no, no, I work at the University of Rhode Island.
Oh, I see.
What do you, you teach up there?
Uh, no, I'm assistant to the dean.
Uh-huh, and, uh, uh, how do you like, how do you,
ladies and gentlemen, pay no attention to this stuff right back here.
Uh, this has nothing to do with the joke, okay, what you're seeing here.
Uh, yes, Pat, what is your question?
Well, my question is, Dave, I really like your super slow-mo segments.
Uh-huh.
Uh, especially when you threw the eggs into the tabletop fan.
What a coincidence, Pat.
Uh, so you would like us to try it maybe with a little larger fan.
Yeah, well, the problem is you couldn't see it really well.
That's right.
Okay, good Lord, we've anticipated her every whim.
Uh, okay, Pat, we'll give it a try.
Thank you very much.
Well, thank you.
Uh, cover this stuff up, boys, and, uh, Paul, come over here.
Are we all right?
We have time for this?
All right, now, we have a choice, Paul.
We have, uh, come here, don't stand back there.
We can either, we can either lob a dozen eggs in there,
or we can, we can toss a pie.
We have cherry pie and a cream pie.
What do you think?
We can only do it, uh, all right, do both, I guess.
You want the pie?
Let's go.
Okay.
Now, this is a bowl of eggs.
All right.
Okay, we all set?
All right, now, stand over there.
Can I throw a bowl in there?
Yeah, no, no, I'll just, I'll just toss.
Let me go over this way.
You mind?
Okay.
Now, we have to.
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
No, no, do it this way.
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
No, no, no, do it this way.
One, two, three, one, two, three.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, God! Oh, jeez! Oh! Are you all right? Oh, God! Oh! I'm shot! No, let's, uh...
Can we see it in the instant replay? Oh, here comes instant. There goes the...
There's the fan.
Oh! Oh, that's great. Use that sign. Thank you. Very nice question, Pat.
I tell you, we're going to hose off the audience. We'll be right back, folks.
Remember, Alec Guinness is here tonight.
He sure is!
Oh, God!
Thank you.
Thank you.