Name: Bob Rooney Day on Letterman, May 9, 1983
Uploaded: 2016-12-04T06:23:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob Rooney Day on Letterman, May 9, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-12-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob Rooney Day on Letterman, May 9, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-12-04. Transcript available.

Bob Rooney Day on Letterman, May 9, 1983

Uh, now, uh, when people would come to these radio shows, you'd have audiences?
Oh, yeah. Same thing.
But they'd dress up, wouldn't they? Wouldn't they, uh, suits and ties and so
forth?
I don't think so. About the same.
Oh.
Look like this crowd.
Uh...
Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Rooney!
Ladies and gentlemen, I came in to see you.
Bring the mic down. Make sure to hear this.
Bob Rooney, ladies and gentlemen.
Bob Rooney. Isn't that great? What do you do?
What do I do?
I'm stinking you out of one night this year to have my own special.
I know. Is this your day? Is this your day, Bob?
Monday. Monday. Monday, May 9th on late night.
This is your warm-up, huh?
Well, you could say that.
So, this is a week from tonight, right, Bob?
Week from tonight, May 9th.
And, uh, we're all terribly excited about this, as I'm sure you must be.
You?
I've been walking the halls for weeks about this.
Yeah, yeah.
This will make-em and break-em situation for me.
Well, that's great, uh...
More break-em.
Bring this down. Make sure to hear this.
No, we can hear it just fine, Bob.
How far do you want this to go, Bob?
How much more time do I have?
Everybody gets that first break.
Bring it down.
Now, um...
Well, I...
I...
I sure appreciate you taking the time to stop by, Bob.
All right, Dave, I'll give it back to you.
Okay.
Bob, Bob.
And you didn't have to dress like that.
I mean, that's...
Nice to see you.
That's the stupidest thing I've ever been a part of.
I like your show.
It's like a bus station.
And, of course, it's Bob Rooney.
The big special for Bob next week.
Now, uh...
What does Bob do?
A producer?
No, Bob's not a producer.
Bob is engineering.
He's one of our fine engineering crew.
Great fella.
Yeah.
Say, this is Bob, Bob Rooney Hope, wishing everyone a happy Bob Rooney day.
Let me tell you, I don't want to say Bob's a bad golfer, but he's hit more
spectators than Jerry Ford.
Bob, we kid you, but this is your day.
Enjoy.
From New York, the city that reminds you not to leave the cap off your felt-tip
pen overnight or the pen will dry up.
So, be careful.
It's late night with David Letterman.
Tonight, singer Slim Whitman, comedian Elaine Boosler, actress Candy Clark, and
it's Bob Rooney Day.
And now, a man who throws out Barber College gift certificates before asking
friends if they need any.
David Letterman!
Welcome to the show.
Okay.
That's it.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
My name is David Letterman, but of course, the real reason we're all here
tonight.
Yes, it's Bob Rooney Day, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, people say to me, Dave, why is it Bob Rooney Day?
And, well, that's a question we really can't answer.
I can tell you who Bob Rooney is, though.
America first fell in love with this guy a couple of weeks ago, I think, on our
show, when we had the Playmate of the Year as a guest.
And take a look now at this videotape, and I think you'll have to agree with us
that there's magic.
Yes, that, of course, is Bob Rooney, our assistant audio man, and she just sort
of handed him those flowers.
And as she said later, she had no real reason for doing so, and that's pretty
much the story of Bob's life.
We couldn't be more proud to be celebrating May 9th every year.
It's Bob Rooney Day.
On this program tonight, Slim Whitman.
Also, actress Candy Clark from the new motion picture, Blue Thunder, and
comedian Elaine Boosler.
Plus, we have some dramatic footage from this year's Bob Rooney pageant, and
all kinds of wonderful surprises that, of course, you normally associate with
Bob Rooney Day.
Let's introduce our good friend Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, Dave.
You know, every once in a while, a nutty technician comes along that kind of
sets this whole business on its ear, and I'm just thrilled that it's Bob Rooney
Day.
What more can I say?
Take it away.
I'm excited.
Nicely said, Paul.
I certainly appreciate that.
Ladies and gentlemen, if everybody at home is all settled in, and I assume you've
already wakened up the kids, here in the audience, if you can just find
something to get a hold of, because now the magic moment has arrived.
Yes, the months and weeks and, nay, years of preparation for another Bob Rooney
Day have finally come together, culminating in this one grand network
television event, and personally, I'm proud to be a part of it.
Ladies and gentlemen, you know him, you love him, you can't live without him.
Bob Rooney.
Thank you.
It's pretty darn gratifying, isn't it, Bob?
Oh, it's great.
Now, I'm sorry, before you folks sit down, let us explain the significance of
the second side of the cards.
Of course, we saw the Bob Rooney photograph, and then this side.
Bob, why don't you tell them what that is a picture of there?
Now, wait a minute, you got to, yeah, that's, yeah.
Picture my face.
Now, what is this, Bob?
I think it's my favorite dish.
Shrimp with lobster sauce.
Bob Rooney's favorite dish, ladies and gentlemen.
Come here.
With lobster sauce.
It's, uh, it's unbelievable, and people say to me, Dave, how can this year's
Bob Rooney Day be better than last year's Bob Rooney Day?
But I get a feeling already it is somehow, don't you?
Forget about it.
Can't compete with it.
Have you had a good day so far?
Unbelievable.
Yeah.
Can't compete with yesterday.
And, uh, where, where are you, where do you call home, Bob?
Where is home?
Frizy Point, New York.
And, uh, and, and for people maybe new to the country, uh, what do you do on
the show here?
Audio assist.
Audio assist, ladies and gentlemen.
Bob Rooney.
Take it easy.
Take it easy over there.
Uh, all right, Bob, uh, this, of course, uh, this program is dedicated to you.
If you'd just like to, uh, walk back over here to the place of honor, um, we
have a, uh, lounge chair for you, and a newspaper.
Thank you.
And, uh, a, uh, reading lamp there.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, as you may or may not know, traditionally on Bob Rooney
Day, we do what we can to grant this man three wishes.
Anything this man desires, myself and the staff and the entire unit here at NBC
will do anything we can to make them a reality.
So, at this time, Bob, I'd like to ask you, whatever it is, world travel,
riches, jewelry, a home in the Bahamas, give us now wish number one.
Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Rooney's first wish.
Uh, I think I'd like a cold beer.
A cold beer?
Can we have a cold beer for?
Okay.
Thank you.
There you go.
That's, thank you very much, Tommy.
That's, uh, that's wish number one if you're scoring along at home and, uh, and,
and more than likely you are.
Now, Bob, uh, two left.
What about number two?
Uh, BLT.
Uh, BLT, ladies and gentlemen.
Tommy, do we have a BLT for Mr. Rooney?
Okay, boy, there he's eaten at its finest.
Uh, all right, Bob, uh, the tension is building both here in the studio and all
across North America.
Wish number three, Bob.
What, what's it gonna be?
Uh, another beer.
Another beer for Bob Rooney, ladies and gentlemen.
Come on.
Thank you.
Uh, it's, uh, I, I don't know about you at home, but so far it's just an
unbelievable night here in the studio.
Uh, you make yourself comfortable, Bob.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna pause.
We'll be right back with Slim Whitman.
Remember, it's Bob Rooney Day.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Ladies and gentlemen, uh, it's just an unbelievable night here in 6A in the
middle of Manhattan.
It's Bob Rooney Day, and, uh, frankly, I couldn't be happier.
Now, uh, it should be remembered before we begin that the thrill of being Bob
Rooney, or the Bob Rooney experience, if you will,
is not confined to just this great man himself, Bob Rooney.
There are other people who can know that special feeling, and some of them are
with us here tonight.
And let's take a minute now to talk with some of these other people.
Uh, if you'll just come on down to the microphone, sir.
Nice to see you, sir.
Uh, what is your name, sir?
Uh, Bob Rooney.
Bob Rooney.
Uh, Bob, where are you from?
Uh, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.
Bay Ridge, oh, also from Brooklyn.
Now, uh, what do you do for a living, Bob?
Excuse me?
I say, what do you do for a living?
I am a supervisor in a local utility.
Uh-huh, and, and I bet you get a lot of kidding about the name Bob Rooney, huh?
Uh, not until tonight, I really don't.
Uh, does, uh, does May 9th represent any kind of inner pride for you?
Uh, not really.
Uh-huh.
Uh, I'm being honest.
And how, how do you, uh, uh, how do you celebrate, uh, aside from the tie, how
do you celebrate Bob Rooney Day?
Uh, no, that's just a joke.
Uh, how do I celebrate?
Yes, sir.
Probably the same way that Bob Rooney does.
Okay, Bob, come on down and have a seat next to Bob Rooney, if you will.
Bob, nice to see you, sir.
This is Bob Rooney, Bob Rooney.
Uh, all right, we have some other, uh, folks in the audience we'd like to talk
to, uh, this evening.
Uh, is there anybody else, uh, yes, sir, come on over to the microphone, and
may we have your name, sir?
Bob Rooney.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, Bob, what do you do for a living?
Not much.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, how old are you?
Uh, 15.
15.
And, uh, how, how do you celebrate, uh, aside from the t-shirt, uh, Bob Rooney
Day?
I don't.
You don't.
And, uh, you must be pretty excited to be here tonight.
Oh, yeah.
All right, well, come on down, Bob, and have a...
It should be a...
There you are.
Boy, those, uh, those chairs, uh, are pretty comfortable, aren't they?
Yeah.
And maybe with any luck, Bob will share that BLT with you.
Now, uh, okay, and finally, we have one other, uh, audience member that we'd
like to talk
to here this evening.
Come on down, sir, if you will.
And, uh, nice-looking gentleman.
Where are you from, sir?
Brooklyn, New York.
Also from Brooklyn.
And, uh, or may I have your name, sir?
My name is Bob Rooney.
Bob Rooney, also.
And, uh, how about you?
Do you take a lot of razzing this time of year about your name?
No.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, how do you celebrate Bob Rooney Day?
Okay, Bob.
I celebrate Bob Rooney Day every day.
Uh-huh.
Well, that's, uh, I think, you know, I think if, if more of us had that
attitude, this would
be a better world in which to live.
Bob, come on down and join the festivities.
I don't, I don't know, we're going to have another, I'm sorry, Bob, we're going
to have to, have to get you.
Is he going to sit there on the, uh, fine, make yourself, boy, oh, boy, what a
pathetic display this is.
Uh, uh, you know, Bob Rooney Day is a time for fun and games, and that's, of
course, all well and good,
but we should not lose sight of the other guy that we all know so well.
I'm talking about the tender Bob Rooney.
Here now is late night's special tribute to Bob Rooney and to all of you who
are Bob Rooney at heart.
This is from Us With Love.
Turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around, and you're a
young girl going out of the door.
Turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around,
turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around.
Turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around.
Oh, man. I think here would be a good time to point out that in high school,
Bob was selected as most likely to be picked out of a lineup.
Now, um, my next guest is the man responsible for making the yodel popular
again, and thank heavens he did.
Making a return appearance on this program, it's a pleasure on Bob Rooney Day
to welcome Slim Whitman.
There's a ship lies rigged and ready in the harbor.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, far away from your land of endless sunshine, to my land
full of rainy skies and gale.
Then I shall be aboard that ship, though my eyes are full of tears at this
farewell.
For you are beautiful, I have loved you dearly, more dearly than a spoken word
could tell.
For you are beautiful, I have loved you dearly, more dearly than a spoken word
could tell.
For you are beautiful, I have loved you dearly, more dearly than a spoken word
could tell.
I hear there's a wicked war ablazing.
And the taste of war I know so very well.
Even now I see the foreign flag raising their guns on fire as we sail into hell.
I ha