Name: George Michael on Late Show, November 9, 1998
Uploaded: 2016-12-27T02:00:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'George Michael on Late Show, November 9, 1998' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-12-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'George Michael on Late Show, November 9, 1998' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-12-27. Transcript available.

welcome back to the show here's now george michael colonel gail halverson and
uh handsome now uh
here's how it would have gone let's just let me recreate this uh for you uh by
the way i have my
first question i was going to ask her did you have fun working on your last
project hey now that you
see i would have loved to have heard what she would say i bet she did yeah
probably had fun yeah but it
would have been interesting to hear her talk about it yeah oh yeah well that's
the point that's why i
had it down here on my list uh-huh i see uh our first guest is a multiple uh oh
no that's the wrong
one my my first guest is a nine-time academy award nominee and we're thrilled
she took time out of
her busy schedule to be with us tonight ladies and gentlemen sailor to meryl
streep
and that's the music that i that's the music i would have played i had some
pretty good questions
here we have a fine show i don't want you to get the impression that the show
is diminished now
because ms streep is not here we have a great show tonight ladies and gentlemen
i'll prove it to you
right here what'd you say ma'am i came to see you oh did you really
our first guest is a multiple grammy award nominee who has sold more than 60
million albums his new
double cd compilation is entitled ladies and gentlemen the best get one right
here the best of george
michael and it'll be available in stores tomorrow here he is george michael george
nice to have you on the show it's your first time is this your it's not your
first time on the show
is it excuse me you should know shouldn't you yes it is is this your first time
like over the old show
at nbc singing and stuff did we have you on that no well welcome to the damn
show thank you
how's i don't know what's going on someone was trying to throw a blonde wig on
me back there and
teaching me all these different languages and well that happens to you all the
time doesn't it
what was about a year ago you were arrested in california what was
what was that all about about a year ago was it a year ago about six months six
months ago yeah
time's flying is all of that is all of that has that all been straightened out
now um i still i've
just been um i have community service to uh fulfill but i did actually i was
every i was expected to
be given like a couple of extra months to do it in but apparently it's been uh
i've got to do it by
the end of december now what kind of community service will you be doing um
well i already do quite
a lot of work with um a charity called project angel food in los angeles who um
who deliver meals to uh
aids patients all over los angeles in the air and i've already kind of got
connections with them so i
think i'll do work there so you continue doing that and it will work toward
your uh no no no no no it's
not i mean i do have to actually do out you know but i have no problem in doing
it i know the people
and uh you know they'll send me to work in the kitchen right imagine so so what
exactly uh happened
and and and uh i just um i just want to say before we get on to this topic that
i've been
i've been told backstage i can't say the m word and the m word so god knows i
mean i if you're not
allowed to say it no wonder i got arrested doing it what is
i mean you know what time does this show go out 11 30 11 30 it's an adult show
though it's true true
i guess people don't get up to that kind of thing here right so uh you can take
us through it step by
step and if you can let's see what happens here
all right so tell you or maybe maybe see maybe i've been misled i was under the
impression you
didn't mind talking about this but if you would rather not talk about it no i
just i'm just trying
to work out embarrass you i was under the impression we could talk about i'm
good at embarrassing myself
i'm very good at okay all right so then let's go ahead and talk about it i just
can't work out how
to say it without using the m-word but i'll find some other um so what happened
what happened was
kind of vaguely slightly inebriated pop star on a lovely summer's day
and uh and uh i went into i i went to uh i walked into the restroom i was
followed where where is the
restroom this is a public this is kind of very it's a very classy restroom it's
directly opposite the
beverly hills hotel and um basically i was followed into the toilet by a man
six you know well over six
foot uh fairly attractive not carmel not colombo someone kind of slightly more
attractive than that
and um i was i was uh i think the word the word the official word is entrapped
i suppose i was coaxed
fairly um directly really yes and uh and and basically um nothing happened i
didn't come within uh
listen please hansen is here tonight please be careful
be honest be honest meryl streep heard i was on the show right and she pulled
out
i don't think so no i had nothing i don't know what she's busy she's very very
busy woman okay i'll
catch up with her sometime but now now uh uh uh head now you had gone in your
your reason for
going into the restroom i'm guessing was innocent enough is that oh yeah
absolutely you went in there for
the purpose of the purpose i mean i don't know i've said before i've said
before i'm i'm no stranger to um
you know outdoor nookie that's what
you can say nookie but you can't say the other word well i didn't think i didn't
think americans
understood nookie i thought it was a bit like do you say nookie
i didn't think you did so i thought i'm not allowed to say masturbation i'll
have to say nookie
so i so i guess half of america just switched over yeah
i think they're switching here i think word is spreading across the yards uh so
anyway now you're
in there and a guy a cop comes in and he and he he uh he is a setup i mean a
lot of people find this
really hard to imagine i must admit i found it quite hard to believe at the
time but um it's very common
practice it's uh it's called entrapment it's illegal it's basically being coaxed
what did the guy do
what did the guy do right the guy that turned out to be a police officer okay
all right well he i'll
tell you this is the nicest way i can put it i've put it this way before and i
don't want to be graphic
and nasty he played a game called you show me yours no i'll show you mine he it
was called i'll show
you mine you show me show me yours and then i'll take you down the police
station what what show me
what what are we looking at well he wasn't showing me his fillings do you know
what i mean so this this
guy actually drops his pants there in front of you no he didn't have to drop
them he had his i'm not
allowed to say the words am i i'm a bit stuck here he had his the important
equipment
well i think that depends on your perspective
okay all right okay so imagine for a moment that you're straight yeah i know
what's going on he's
he's he's he's he's uh imagine for a moment that i'm what
you didn't need to you didn't need to say that did you why would you say that i've
been dying to
say that oh for heaven all right so uh the guy
standing there trying to engage in some sort of activity he said he said
actually the police report
said that he was simulating urination right now excuse me how do you simulate
urination and make
no noise do you know i'm saying you simulate it if you tried to simulate urination
doing that with
your hands you'd get wee all over the shop is all i have to say don't try at
home folks you know don't try
at home actually no do try at home because you're safe there so uh and now are
you are you nervous
are you scared are you embarrassed about this whole thing did they what they
take you downtown now what
i had well i say after after that um i was taken to the police station which is
probably the nicest jail
in the western world is the beverly hills police department and i was i was
thinking
actually when i look back on it was pathetic well i was thinking i'm so lucky
that no one's been
arrested this afternoon apart from me right because i was thinking you know you
never know it maybe it
won't get out this is like seven hours later i've got helicopters flying around
my house hundreds
of people in the street so you're saying that you were completely innocent in
this particular episode
that it was more or less a misunderstanding absolutely but then the point being
and the point
but ultimately the point being that it i think it's kind of irrelevant in terms
of the law
what my general behavior is even though i've admitted to to you know similar
sort of behavior um point is
the police are not allowed to do something illegal in order to make you do
something illegal you know
it was definite entrapment are you going to try and go after them well no
because the thing is at the
time um i did actually consider because recently this week the da's office uh
you know issued a statement
which they've done plenty of times in the last six months i have to say i don't
know why they have to
but they issued a statement saying that if i wanted if i had believed that i
was entrapped and i
actually said in i mean the the one thing about the police report that i know
they had to put down
was the fact that i stood in the middle of the street surrounded by people
saying this is entrapment
i'm going to have to say this is entrapment you know um so that was in there
because i said it
publicly there are enough people watching and listening but um uh they said
that if i believed it was
entrapment having seen an interview that i did last week then why didn't i go
to court right now if
someone can really tell me that a sane celebrity involved in a lewd conduct
arrest takes their you
know their their grievance to international cameras and stands in court saying
yes you did him going no i
didn't you're going yes you did you know what kind of there's no way that i'm
going to um put myself
through that and there's no i'm going to feed the circus to that degree well i
was tried really by
the media i hope this whole episode hasn't changed your uh outlook on outdoor
nookie
i just have to make sure it's completely outdoor i guess uh now are you you're
going to sing for us
you're not going to sing for us i'm not singing he's really clued up on me he
doesn't remember
whether i've been on the show he doesn't know whether i'm playing or not i'm
offended are you
really no i was going to say it takes an awful lot to offend you
well i'm glad i'm glad the uh the episode is uh history for you now oh yes you
go on take
care of your life then definitely oh nice meeting you george thank you very
much george michael ladies