Name: Emmy Award for Late Show, September 11, 1994
Uploaded: 2017-01-08T21:08:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Emmy Award for Late Show, September 11, 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Emmy Award for Late Show, September 11, 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-08. Transcript available.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Seinfeld.
Thank you.
Tonight's a very special night for television, especially for those of us who
work in it.
It's a chance for us to express to ourselves how much we enjoy our own work.
A chance to say congratulations to us on another year's job well done.
Oh, sure, most of us that are nominated tonight employ a phalanx of agents,
managers, and publicists
to tell us these things on a daily basis anyway, but you'd be surprised how
much we enjoy hearing it
just one more time on national television with millions of people watching.
Because in the end, when all the fanfare and the flowery speeches have faded
away,
each and every one of us here tonight means so much to ourself.
I know I certainly mean a great deal to me, and sometimes I can't thank me
enough.
That's why tonight is so important to us one night where our entire wonderful
TV industry can gather
to say, "We like us. We really like us."
And speaking of like, I really like every nominee in this category for
outstanding variety or comedy series.
They are...
"Late Show with David Letterman."
I'll be right back.
Put these here in my pocket.
I'll take care of them.
I'll take care of them.
"Late Show with David Letterman."
I'll take care of them.
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"Late Show with David Letterman."
"MTV Unplugged."
"Come as you are, as you were."
"Best I want you to be."
"Best a friend, best a friend."
"Best unknown to me."
"Saturday Night Live."
"Oh yeah, nobody cares, buh-bye."
"Buh-bye."
"Hi, could you arrange for me a..."
"Buh-bye."
"Yeah, buh-bye."
"I have this carry-on and I was just wondering..."
"Here's me."
"Buh-bye."
"Here's you."
"I want to say something important."
"Me."
"Buh-bye."
"You."
"I'm Joe Carrion."
"Let me through."
"I'm a big man, I don't check nothing."
"Me."
"Buh-bye."
"You."
"I'm cool, I wear a suit."
"No way am I a loser."
"Well, you're wrong, now buh-bye."
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno."
"My buddy Ed up there, who's got the first question?"
"What do you want to know?"
"Yeah, are there any problems associated with liposuction?"
"Liposuction?"
"Liposuction?"
"No, you know, I'm not, you know, I'll tell you, you know, when I'm with a girl,
I don't force her to do nothing, okay?"
"I'm saying, I mean, it seems to me, you know, no way, no way."
"You know, you bring a woman with flowers, maybe you get her some candy, maybe
dinner then, then you get the liposuction a little later."
"Dennis Miller live."
"Dennis Miller live."
"Thank you."
"Dennis Miller live."
"Here we see Walter, my friend, who's got the first question.
I'm going to say Walter Mondale, who's got the first question.
"Do you have any problems associated with liposuction?"
"Liposuction?
No, you know, I'm not, you know, I'll tell you, you know, when I'm with a girl,
I don't force her to do nothing, okay?"
"I'm saying, I mean, it seems to me, you know, no way, no way.
You know, you bring a woman with flowers, maybe you get her some candy, maybe
dinner then, then you get the liposuction a little later."
"Dennis Miller live."
"Thank you."
"Here we see Walter Mondale viewing the single ballot that was cast for him in
the 1984 presidential election."
"Little Camille Hickmanoff of Chernobyl, Russia is seen here practicing Olympic
swim routine."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you."
"And James Earl Jones prepares for his role as Rick James' dad in the upcoming
Fox docudrama."
"And the Emmy goes to Late Show with David Letterman."
"Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much."
"Thank you very much. Thank you very much."
"I don't live here anymore, so I'm a little confused when Faye Dunaway says, 'This
town has heart.'"
"Is she talking about Hollywood or is she talking about Pasadena?"
"I don't know."
"Can you tell from looking at my hair that I rented a convertible? Thank you."
"Well, I don't need to tell you folks, there's been a huge mistake."
"The people to thank for this, I mean just, you know, thanks to everybody.
Thanks to anybody drawing breath right now. Thank you very much."
"I have very little to do with the show. Every day about five after my manicure
I put on a suit and go to work."
"And it really is, the success that we've enjoyed for the first year is all
credit to the staff members and the crew and some of the people you see
standing behind me."
"You know, I mean, Jerry helps when he can, but he's..."
"But, you know, seriously, win or lose, it's just great to be in Pasadena.
Thank you very much."
"The Emmys will continue with Candice Bergen, Dennis Franz, and the outstanding
lead actress in a miniseries or a special."