Name: Viewer Mail on Letterman, January 15, 1993
Uploaded: 2017-01-31T03:52:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail on Letterman, January 15, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail on Letterman, January 15, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-01-31. Transcript available.

Ladies and gentlemen, every Friday night for the last 11 years, we've answered
our viewer mail.
Good luck tonight is no exception. Here we go. Actual letters from actual
viewers.
Let the TV fun begin.
Show bidness.
No, no business like it.
Yahoo! Letter number one.
Dear Dave, Mr. Letterman, when you enjoy the pleasure of eating a Butterfinger
candy bar,
do you bite all of the chocolate off the outside before biting into the
wonderful Buttercrunch Center?
Or do you just go for it and bite the whole thing? Just wondering.
Very truly yours, Jeff Ratliff, Wichita, Kansas.
You know, Jeff, it's true that I used to really, oh man, God help me, I love
those Butterfinger candy bars.
But that was before I discovered the all-new Butterfuko bar. Take a look at
this.
That sounds delicious.
You know, isn't it?
Woo!
Wonderful.
Woo!
I haven't tried these.
I have not yet had a chance to try the Butterfuko candy bar.
These are a taste treat.
All right, what's in it?
We have chocolate, caramel, nougat, and a .22 caliber bullet.
Don't overdo it.
Maybe I should apply the same reasoning to tonight's broadcast.
Ah, well.
Letter number two, dear Dave, cockroaches, cockroaches, cockroaches.
Just freaking out, Eric Storm, Seattle, Washington.
Eric, I think I know the problem here.
No wonder you're confused.
That's no way to go about calling roaches.
You know what you ought to do?
You ought to get my cockroach calling tape.
It's cockroach calling the Letterman Way.
Here you go.
It's not very expensive.
Hal, roll a couple of seconds of this informative videotape.
Cockroach calling.
Here we go.
Here's number 16, bacon grease on the floor.
Next, number 17, the corn flake under the refrigerator.
Cockroach calling.
The Letterman Way.
If you people are really good, someone here tonight goes home with the buttafuoco
ball.
Now, don't you feel bad about all those awful things you said about me in line?
Letter number three, dear Dave, there's a rumor.
There's a rumor going around that you and Paul are fraternal twins, separated
birth.
Is this true?
Yours forever, Ron Prescott, Port Charlotte, Florida.
I believe the mail is getting more insightful lately, don't you?
Wow.
No, no, Ron.
Paul and I are not twins.
But you know what happens?
We've known each other for so long, and we've worked together so closely that
not only have
we become very close, good, wonderful friends, but here in the studio, in the
building where
we work, we have, I think, a real sympathetic kind of telepathic sensory sort
of a deal going on.
It's true.
It's one of these things.
I don't know.
I'm no Kreskin, and I don't know if this is going to work, but let's just try a
little
ESP experiment.
I think I can read Paul's mind here.
Let me just try it, okay?
Eat Drano, funny boy.
You're thinking of the Ace of Spades.
Ah, it was the Ace of Clubs.
Oh, but very, very close, so you see how we...
Very close, though.
We have a thing.
Letter number four.
Dear Dave, what's the wackiest thing you've ever done with mashed potatoes?
A veggie-loving fan, Terry Flory.
Terra Flora.
Terry Flory.
Terra Flory.
That's hard to say.
I'll say it.
Terra Flory.
You want to say Terry Flory or Terra Flora.
But it's Terra Flory.
I wanted to say Denny Terry-o.
And I believe home viewers want to say, get on with it.
What's the wackiest thing you've ever done with mashed potatoes?
Terra Flory, Wichita, Kansas.
Actually, I made a pretty cool discovery this afternoon with mashed potatoes.
I was having lunch, and I'm looking down with the...
There.
Hi there.
Do you have a paycheck for me?
Hi, Mr. Donohue.
Here's your check.
Hey, thank you very much.
I'm going to use this to pay off Marlowe's credit cards.
Have a great weekend.
Thank you.
We're going to do a commercial.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back here with tonight's program.
We'll be right back.