Name: Letterman's 1st LNwDL, February 1, 1982 (full)
Uploaded: 2017-02-01T20:12:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Letterman's 1st LNwDL, February 1, 1982 (full)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Letterman's 1st LNwDL, February 1, 1982 (full)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-02-01. Transcript available.

Letterman's 1st LNwDL, February 1, 1982 (full)

Good evening.
Certain NBC executives feel it would be a little unkind to present this show
without just a word of friendly warning.
We are about to unfold a show featuring David Letterman.
A man of science who sought to create a show after his own image without reckoning
upon God.
It's one of the strangest tales ever told.
I think it will thrill you.
It may shock you.
It might even horrify you.
So if any of you feel that you don't care to subject your nerves to such a
strain, now's your chance to.
Well, we've warned you.
From New York, one of the most exciting cities in the tri-state area, it's Late
Night with David Letterman.
Tonight's guests are Bill Murray, Don Mr. Wizard Herbert, also a tour of the
set, a special late night report on the shame of the city, and the Rainbow
Grill Dancing Girls.
And now, a man who shouldn't be up this late, David Letterman.
And now, a man who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to
be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman,
who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late,
David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going
to be up this late, David Letterman who's going to be up this late, David
Letterman.
And now, a man who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to
be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman.
And now, a man who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to
be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman,
who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late,
David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going
to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David
Letterman.
And now, a man who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to
be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman,
who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late,
David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going
to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David
Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman.
Thank you very much, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David
Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be
up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman,
who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late,
David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going
to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David
Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be
up this late.
David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going
to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David
Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be
up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman,
who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late,
David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going
to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David
Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be
up this late, David Letterman, who's going to be up this late, David Letterman,
who's going to be up this late, David Letterman.
Now, let's see, they of course had World War III last night, starting on the,
and then Saturday night, Eric Estrada was singing, and tonight, this extravaganza,
but the whole thing was kind of tainted, I believe it was Friday evening, an
NBC executive, on his way home, was arrested at Grand Central Station, his
pride was showing.
We have a wonderful show for you folks this evening, comedian Bill Murray will
be joining us a little bit later.
A guy who has been a long time favorite of mine, you know him as Mr. Wizard,
Don Herbert will be joining us.
And if that wasn't enough, we are going to be right back, it's a brand new show,
a brand new set, a wonderful facility, and we're going to take you folks on a
tour of this studio, this set, after you take a look at this.
Thank you for being here, guys.
What would you like to see on late night television?
Various ways of joining metal.
Okay.
Something about how to join metal.
I would like to see that the metal is joined.
I wish there was a show that had information on how metal is joined.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Since it's the first night of a brand new television program for me, I thought
what would be fun for you, the home viewers, and everyone here in the studio
audience,
let's just take a look at the equipment.
A rare behind-the-scenes tour here at NBC.
Come on and follow me.
We're going backstage in big league television.
This is, of course, Paul Schaefer and the boys, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
This is, uh, we're actually backstage right now, and, uh, what I wanted to show
you, first of all, you know the old expression, you've got to learn the ropes?
Well, this is where it came from.
Every one of these ropes supports hundreds and hundreds of pounds of delicate
electronic television equipment, and it really takes a seasoned pro to know
which ones you can't mess with.
These are all in use.
For example, I know that this one here is okay to let loose.
There's nothing on the end of that one.
I'll just, uh, sleep that up a little bit later.
Now, over here, oh, this is exciting.
People say to me, Dave, where do the really big stars live here at NBC?
And this is a stairway to one of the many luxury apartments, uh, for the stars
here at NBC, and this is great.
Don't use all the hot water, Rona.
Now, let's see.
Oh, this is exciting.
You've got to be very quiet when you come back here, because you'll never know
who you're going to wake up.
This is the, perhaps, the innermost recess of the backstage area.
I wanted to call your attention to this particular sign up there.
Refreshments for to tell the truth personnel only.
And what refreshments they are, too, huh?
Now, this little item, people say, how has the Today Show been able to stay on
the air for 30 years?
Well, I'll tell you, back in the mid-60s, they started manufacturing their own
appliances.
And, uh, I have a today show blender and hair dryer at home.
And I'm going to show you.
What we're ultimately working up to is the control room.
I'll tell you, the technological advances in television, uh, leaps and bounds.
They're growing, and it takes a real precision crew to operate the stuff.
Come on through here before we get to the control room.
Uh, this, of course, is, uh, the green room.
And, uh, you can see we have, uh, vegetables and the corn and, uh, got some
winter wheat coming in.
These are some of the few vegetables here at NBC not in programming.
Oh, it's just, you know, it's such a joke.
Try to do as much fun as we can.
People tend to underplay the role of makeup in television.
Here is, of course, the makeup room at 6A.
I want to just show you a little something.
Hi, how's it going?
Hi there.
Good luck to your show.
Thank you very much.
Good luck.
I enjoy your show.
Thank you.
Now, see, you know who that was before makeup?
That's the star of Real People, Skip Stevenson.
Okay, now this is a control room that I was telling you about earlier.
And, uh, not many people ever get to see the inside of one of these things
because it's a pressure-packed area.
It's just about like being an air traffic controller.
Let's go on inside and see how this baby works.
What did I tell you?
Yes, sir.
You folks are in real luck.
It's Stein night, I think.
How's it going?
Good.
Oh, this is great.
How are you?
Sir, director right over here.
How's it going?
Nice to see you.
We've got to take a break.
We'll be right back.
Thank you all, folks.
We've got a guy trapped over here.
This will be fun to watch.
Come on.
Just crawl on through here.
That's all right.
Go right ahead.
I enjoy seeing a grown man do that occasionally.
Go ahead.
It's our producer, ladies and gentlemen.
Yes, nothing left to chance here, you know.
Well, about now you're asking yourself, gee, I wonder what else this show has.
Well, I'll tell you.
We have one of those.
It's a pleasure for me to introduce my first guest with credits that include
Saturday Night Live,
the films Meatballs, Caddyshack, Where the Buffalo Roam, and Stripes.
Bill Murray has become one of the top box office draws in show business.
And besides that, he's a very funny man, and it's a pleasure to have him on our
first program.
Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Murray.
Dave Letterman, come on, everybody up.
Everybody up.
Everybody up.
Everybody up.
Hi, Bill.
How's it going?
Fine.
Nice to see you.
Good.
Thanks for being on the show.
I certainly appreciate that.
Oh, good.
Well, I just wanted to, I hope you don't take any offense.
Offense of what?
Well, I just came in.
You folks in the studio probably don't know this, but I had to go feed.
I had to go back home, and I came right back, and I got caught in traffic.
They were a little nervous out there.
It was no problem.
It's just that I'm not wearing shoes right now.
No, I'm just kidding.
I have shoes right now.
Oh, there was a problem earlier?
No, no.
They didn't tell you, obviously.
You look sedated, so obviously you don't know.
Something happened that we don't fully understand?
No.
Well, no.
Nothing happened.
Well, anyway, I'm happy that whatever the difficulty was, you got it ironed out.
Oh, yeah, no problem.
Okay.
Can we go on with the questioning?
Yeah.
Where have I been?
Oh, no.
Okay, go ahead.
Whatever the question is.
You were in Stripes.
I missed the first part of the show, by the way.
What happened?
Is it going well?
I know this is the first show, and I think this guy needs a little support.
Dave, let him in.
All right.
Okay.
Good.
All right.
Okay.
You were going to ask me about the last time I was on your show.
Oh, yeah.
Now, well, this may not be of any interest to anybody, and it's barely
interesting to me,
but let me...
They're pumped up out there.
What are you playing with there?
It's just lint.
It's just lint from inside my pocket.
Here, I got more.
Now, this is interesting.
You were in a movie last year that was number five in the box office tabulations.
No, it was number three.
Number three.
You're a major star, and yet here you are playing with lint balls.
Well, I wish that you would quit trying to run my life, Dave.
No, I mean this.
I mean it.
You've got everyone here under your spell.
It's obvious.
You know, you had them doing deep breathing exercises before the show.
I don't like to see it.
I know you're on here in late night where no one can stop you.
But this kind of thing is not going to go on as long as I have some connections
here in this building, the RCA building.
I saw what you did to Mr. Wizard.
Don Herbert.
He has the wizard in his pocket.
No, I know.
And you just can't use science for your own ends, Dave.
You can't play God with people.
When are you going to get off the high horse?
Smell the coffee brewing.
So, do you miss Saturday Night Live?
Sure, I miss it.
I miss going back.
I miss the old gang.
Bob Tischler, of course.
My old friend is producing it.
My brother, Brian Doyle Murray, is on the show.
One of the stars of the show.
Wait a second.
What's happening to me?
I just fell back into your old trick, your old mind game.
I'm reading these goofy questions.
I'm answering your little questions off the card.
Do I miss Saturday Night?
You never missed anybody or anything.
You got out of Indianapolis and didn't look back.
I'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall on you, man.
And I want to be there when it hits the floor.
You know what I'm saying?
Better yet, I'm going to do nothing about you, even though I could.
Now, 