Name: Mr. Curious Collection on Letterman, 1984-86
Uploaded: 2017-02-16T00:25:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mr. Curious Collection on Letterman, 1984-86' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-02-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mr. Curious Collection on Letterman, 1984-86' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-02-16. Transcript available.

Mr. Curious Collection on Letterman, 1984-86

Thanks, Paul.
Sounding awfully good.
Sounding awfully good.
Tomorrow on this program, folks,
food collector George Mossdoller will be here.
This is the man who collects food from where?
From everywhere.
From everywhere.
Collects food from everywhere, ladies and gentlemen.
It's unbelievable, and he'll be here tomorrow night.
So circle those TV guides.
Not just from his own home or his neighborhood.
Everywhere.
Also, comedian Bill Hicks and a special surprise guest.
That will be tomorrow.
All right, it's time now, ladies and gentlemen,
to introduce a brand new segment on the show.
Oh, gosh, I hope it goes well.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time once again
for a visit from Mr. Curious.
Excuse me, ma'am.
What do you have here in the bag?
Right there in the bag.
Come on.
Hi.
Excuse me a minute.
What do you have there in the bag?
Oh, my dinner for tonight.
Oh, my dinner for tonight.
What are you having tonight?
I can't burn the beans.
I see in there you have a chicken noodle soup, cup of soup.
Can I have that?
Sure.
So, thank you very much.
Nice talking with you.
You can take it home and eat it.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
How are you?
How do you do?
Can I ask you what you have in your bag?
Pardon me.
Could you tell me what you have in your bag there?
Excuse me.
You got a minute?
Come here a second.
What do you have here in the bag?
Do you know what?
Personal belongings.
Personal belongings.
Can we take a look at them?
What do you have there in the bag?
What do you have there?
Food?
Yeah?
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Hi.
What do you have in there?
Groceries?
Wow.
Is that for the whole week?
All right.
Nice going.
Have a good weekend.
No, we're just looking in people's bags.
How are you doing?
What do you have in your bag here?
What do I have in my bag?
What's in the bag?
What do you want to ask me?
I'm just curious.
Clothes.
What kind of clothing?
You want to do a book.
Oh, yeah?
Can we take a look at it?
Tell me the idea first.
I don't know what I'm talking with.
Joe Friday, Homicide.
Let's see the present.
You just hold it for the ice cream cone there.
No, don't eat these.
No, I don't eat them.
What is that, a shirt?
That's nice.
I like that.
Oh, how many shirts you get?
Two shirts.
All right, let's hold this up here.
So you got a shirt, three shirts.
And two pants.
And two pants.
All right.
Looks pretty good to me.
Thank you very much.
No, no.
Well, what are you telling them?
Really?
Yeah.
Bye-bye.
How do you do?
What's in the bag?
Yes.
Let's get curious.
Let's get right back with Martin Moe.
Paul, coming up in the next half hour, you'll meet the woman who owns and
operates the President Ronald Reagan gift shop in, I believe, Dixon.
Her name is May McLaren, and she will be here, and Emo Phillips will be joining
us.
Monday, Kathleen Turner and John Cleaves will be joining us.
And here's a program reminder, so jot this down on your forehead.
At 1130, Saturday, January 26th, it will be our gala third anniversary show.
Don't miss it if you can't.
So, that should be plenty of fun, and we're just praying to God we get an ad in
TV Guide.
Well, as that unmistakable music tells us, yes, once again, it's time for
another visit from Mr. Curious.
Excuse me, sir.
Can you tell me...
Excuse me, sir.
Can you...
I just...
A question about your hat.
Let me ask you about your hat.
Excuse me, ma'am.
What's your...
What's your dog's name?
Excuse me, ma'am.
What do you...
What do you have there in your bag?
What is this?
What do you mean?
What is this?
What is...
What is the bag there?
Oh, come on.
This is my bag.
I just can't belong in.
Well, like what kind of stuff?
No, don't ask me.
Sir, excuse me.
Can I ask you what you have in your bag there?
What do you have in your bag there?
What's it in your bag?
What?
It's a shopping bag.
Oh.
Yeah, what does she have in her bag?
You know, I asked her the same thing.
No, I'm just curious.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I'm just curious.
Okay.
See, it's none of my business
unless you explain to them
that you're curious
and then it's okay.
Excuse me, sir.
Can I ask you a question?
Where'd you get that hat?
Where did you get that hat?
Well, I bought it from a store in Indiana.
In Indiana?
And what do you do in New York?
Uh, well, I work here.
That's a good one.
I do work here.
Where do you work?
All right.
Can I ask you a question?
Thank you.
Excuse me, ma'am.
What do you have there in the bag?
Why?
Well, I'd like to know what you have in your bag.
Why?
I'm curious about things like that.
You're joking.
No, no.
Why are you asking for it?
I just, I thought you,
I saw you coming up a walk here
and I said to myself,
gee, I'm very curious
about what she has in her bag.
All right.
What do you have there in the bag?
Excuse me.
Let me ask you.
How much you pay for that cigar?
One, one.
How much does that cigar cost you?
70 cents.
70 cents.
70 cents?
What's in the bag there?
Give me your paper.
I'll show you the bag.
What do you like to call about?
You belong to the underground police.
Fine.
Yeah, underground, Mr. White.
Mr. Curious.
How are you doing?
What do you got there in the bag?
Oh, wow.
What kind of clothes?
Hats and scarves.
Let me say a hat.
A hat?
Wow, wow.
Oh, that's a good look.
Let me try that one on.
Try this one on.
Yeah.
What did you pay for that?
No, this is a lady's hat.
Oh.
Hi, how are you?
Nice to see you.
Thank you.
Can you show me what you have in your bag?
No.
Oh.
Where should I?
Who are you?
I'm Mr. Curious.
Well, I'm curious, too.
I want to know who you are.
Excuse me, sir.
No, sir.
Hi.
Hey, how are you?
Hi.
Do you have a minute?
No.
No.
Yes.
Another visit for Mr. Curious.
We'll be right back with Mae McLaren and the Governor on Break's team with a
regular guest.
Thank you.
Where are we, Hal?
What letter are we up to here?
Letter number four.
Letter number four.
That's our director, Mr. Hal Gertner.
Thank you, Hal.
Dear Dave, I really enjoy the Mr. Curious segment of your show.
However, I am concerned about your safety.
Don't you know how dangerous it is to talk to strangers, especially right here
in New York City?
So be careful, Dave.
Your friend Linda Springfield, Brooklyn, New York.
Well, Linda is referring to a segment we do.
We go out on the streets and we kind of playfully stop folks as they walk by
and we ask if we can't see what's in their belongings.
But I want to thank you for your words of caution, Linda.
But we do have some tape of how we go about choosing those people for the Mr.
Curious segment.
So let's take a look at it now.
And I'm sure you'll be able to see that it'll shed some light on that situation.
Yeah, she's clean, Dave.
How you doing?
What do you got in the bag?
Letter number five.
Thanks, Paul.
Welcome back to the show.
Thank you, folks.
Coming up yet in this half hour, Fight Dr. Ferdie Pacheco will be here.
Also, Darlene Love will be back and we'll talk with her for a couple of moments.
Monday, our program will feature special effects expert Tom Savini and
publisher Malcolm Forbes.
This is a rerun.
Don't waste your time.
All right.
We have to take some time off to prepare for the big move to California.
We'll be out there for a week and so we're taking it.
But, oh, never mind.
You know, as a broadcaster, I believe in the public's right to know.
But more important, I am committed as an individual to my own personal right to
know.
And that's the principle behind my fact-finding missions on the streets of New
York
in the guise of Mr. Curious.
Hi, I'm Mr. Curious.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, sir.
Do you have just a second?
Come here, just a second.
What's in the bag there?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Come here, come here.
What kind of sandwich?
What do you have?
Excuse me, sir.
Oh, excuse me, sir.
Come here, come here.
You got your collar.
Your collar is turned up in the back.
Thank you.
Yes, good luck to you.
Never underestimate the importance of good grooming.
What do you have here?
Is this fresh?
Fresh.
Take it back and try and replace it, will you?
Excuse me.
excuse me sir sir you have a second hi how you doing let me ask you a couple of
questions what
do you have here in the bags come here come here wait a minute hey come here
come here
how are you doing nice to see you nice to see you take care sure it's the homeboy
be chilling out
hi how you doing excuse me a second ma'am ma'am ma'am she looks at me like she
wishes bernard
getz was in the neighborhood excuse me you got a second what's your name come
here i feel like a
sailor on leave how many beers do you usually have for lunch two two you read
three yeah just
gone crazy and had a six pack yeah yeah who do you work for work on 27th yeah
any particular guy you
work for yeah i work for joe vet nice guy yeah does he know you're drunk most
of the day i'm just kidding
i know just kidding okay have a good day you can go now good luck to you have a
nice weekend
but i didn't hear what your name is oh i'm mr ashkenazi we saw your name on a
box over there this
is you ashkenazi yeah what are you doing i'm mr curious i roam the streets of
new york for endless
hours at a time asking people questions about their lives and their personal
activities and balances in
their checkbook and so forth uh well just barely this has not been a good year
don't ask me about that
it's a complicated story excuse me see this man coming here the one who looks
like lionel richie
when by the way wasn't he terrific on the grammy award
ask him what he has in the bag excuse me a second you have a second this is mr
ashkenazi he has a
question for you ask him what's in the bag no no he wants to ask him what's in
the bag
wow look at that pretty intense he's got a batmobile that's the uh the battering
ram
on the front on the front that's nice okay thank you very much good luck to you
bye-bye
what do you think of that guy with a batmobile in his bag
that guy's got to be 30 he's walking around with a batmobile
what a jerk huh it takes all kinds doesn't it
no no i walk pretty much walk wherever i go pretty much walk now here's a guy
he's got a
fur coat why don't you ask him a couple of questions about the coat
are you you're out of here have a nice day
we'll be right back with fight doctor ferdy pacheco
what are we doing is this a run-through or a real show
we're ready to go we're going up into the studio audience tonight by the way
ladies and gentlemen
i don't say this to get cheap applause but i always do we get the finest most
handsome group of humans
ever
this is a cordless mike right new from runco does it work hello that's a
beautiful dress
you have what is your name cynthia where'd you get that dress um in dallas in dallas
and what did
you pay for it i don't remember offhand probably expensive what do you think
she paid for it
oh matt look at the guy i'm asking
army navy surplus yeah i'll uh uh nice to have you here what are you doing in
town from dallas um
i'm here on a vacation just graduated from college and what are you going to do
now that you're out
of college i'm going to go to uva law school university of virginia and you're
going to study
law and then what are you going to do um maybe move to new york well there's
good money in that
nice having you here what do you have in the bag by the way
did a little shopping didn't you let's just see no come on let's hold it up
shopping at sax this afternoon weren't you yeah now what do you have in there
just pull out one item
and we'll take a look at it i know we have a wonderful show don't worry well oh
boy it sort
of matches the dress doesn't it hold up hold up what is this exactly um it's a
swimsuit cover-up
it's a sun suit a swimsuit swimsuit cover-up all right and let's see what did
you pay for that
all right now now what do you i know the price of this what do you think she
paid for this
twenty dollars not too bad it was without going over the exact retail price
twenty six dollars congratulations
thank you ladies and gentlemen uh okay monday on this program folks you're
going to see michael
keaton and hugh hefner it's a rerun you don't have to watch it but whatever you
do pl