Name: Chris Elliott as Marlon Brando Collection on Letterman, 1987-88
Uploaded: 2017-02-24T18:09:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott as Marlon Brando Collection on Letterman, 1987-88' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-02-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott as Marlon Brando Collection on Letterman, 1987-88' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-02-24. Transcript available.

Chris Elliott as Marlon Brando Collection on Letterman, 1987-88

thank you very much we're still trying to did you get him locating the hummingbird
outside yeah
actually when he gets tired he'll probably just drop won't he find him
somewhere around
here on the floor uh coming up in this half hour uh harvey p car will be with
us and to
uh maro what marlin is that marlon brando is here marlon brando is here see if
you'll come in oh
ladies and gentlemen marlon
all right it's uh i'm sorry it's only chris elliott ladies and gentlemen i
thought there for a second
it might really be marlon brando now before you start with your witty needles i
have something for
you i brought you something okay and if i could just take a minute sure to give
it to you where the hell
there it is i brought for you a letter because everybody on your staff says
that you are the
letter man
so here's your letter man here's your letter man poor dave right here now uh chris
i guess this is
going to be your new character for the show you come on is marlon brando may i
be so bold uh-huh go right
ahead i have a question to ask the leader of your jazz band combo over here
excuse me fellas why do you have
to play that so loud well actually uh mr brando uh it's it's it's not exactly
that loud it's excuse me
just just how do you get ringo to clear up well it's tough now now uh marlon i
mean chris rather
uh what what can we expect from this new character well basically dave from now
on i'm going to be a thorn in your craw
oh good from time to time i'll be stopping by bringing a feeling of unpredictability
a feeling
of awkwardness uh-huh a feeling of uneasiness and basically i'm going to be
giving your audience a
choice that'll be good either they can laugh or they can sit there and just be
baffled
so it'll be pretty much just like every other character you've done for us
you're very good with the japs okay now uh chris why did you choose marlon
brando because i look
exactly like him you look exactly like marlon brando well i think of this
either
now that now that's that's uh that's a classic photograph of marlon brando when
he was in the
the wild one no no that's jerrell from the superman show can't you see he has
his he has his star man
hat on college boy well uh you know marlon brando did superman a long time
after the wild one actually
you know i think maybe you've been hanging out with ringo too okay well well uh
good luck chris and as
always when you start a new character we have a couple of things for you we
have some a lovely bottle
of champagne right down here and with the champagne comes a a card signed by
every member of the staff
uh wishing you all the best with your new character may i tell you something
sure thank you for this sure
but may i tell you that i personally don't give a flaming horse's ass for your
champagne well or your
birthday card yeah all i would like is for your beautiful audience here to
accept me to take me
into your arms and make me one of yours and with that i must leave all right
marlon brando
hi welcome back to the uh show boy it got warm in here uh you know when
something like that happens
i i don't feel so badly but for me but tonight especially it's the boys first
day and i i hate to
hate to see something like that happen on a on a show that he's producing like
that that's too bad
uh coming up uh later or soon or just any minute now uh dominique laforte with
the performing trained cats
and uh also uh randy travis yes gonna sing with the the band and i guess a
couple of his own
players brought some pickers from nashville okay and uh tomorrow on the program
richard lewis will be
here and a woman who windsurfed across the atlantic is this the lady huh from
miami huh a man
a man a man who windsurfed from miami across the atlantic did he know the woman
who did it
uh stephanie pyron will be here stefan things are going pretty smoothly don't
you think paul
under the new uh new regime all right anyway that'll new regime uh richard lewis
and patty smite
ah yes yeah that'll be with us tomorrow and now we have uh little actual items
that we found in an
actual supermarket paul is it for this that's enough okay that's enough thank
you we don't have nearly
that kind of okay that's enough uh here's a container of handy tie trash bags
uh glad handle
tie trash bags lining an outdoor garbage container lining a laundry hamper or
it can be used as a travel
tote bag there you have it right there
yeah it makes lovely uh lovely luggage doesn't it i'm sorry i'm sorry ma'am you're
going to have to
check your rubbish uh here's a little item we found in the supermarket it's
called um keep it in your
sneaker foot powder here's a shoe and foot powder called keep it in your sneaker
boy it's a good thing
this company is not making condoms don't even know what that means
okay we have one more this jumbo container of peanuts improved new flavor
breakthrough right there
improved new flavor breakthrough well i guess it's no secret where the next nobel
prize is going on
okay do we have uh do we have uh do we have uh any more
do we have any more
ladies and gentlemen marlon brando
ladies and gentlemen chris elliott as marlon brando marlon it's great to see
you
may i be so bold to interrupt your little kitchen pantry utensil hour and say
that i was watching by
the way in the green room and just to say you know the green room ladies and
gentlemen is not actually
green in fact it's painted white as white as my big
and now with that aside i will sit down okay sure with the permission of your
audience i have brought
my own little grocery store riddle okay sort of like what we were just doing
there i don't know what
you were doing yeah with the little grocery store items now let me see what i
have here uh-huh this
is the kit kat chocolate all right and i think i wrote something i don't know
what tree to show this
to right there camera right over here camera that's right marlon is that the
one that's right and i will
read this over here which i wrote this is the kit kat chocolate and it says kit
kat better put a leash
on it or it might scratch up your furniture good marlon it might scratch up
your furniture right we
understand marlon yeah you have the hottest audience thank you very much put
this in a little file
that wasn't uh that wasn't uh that wasn't a joke what you did there so much as
it was a riddle
there's no topping him i'm not even gonna try now chris
chris marlin uh okay chris if you can marlin i'm sorry marlin um you know i i
think maybe you're
taking this new character a little too far i understand some of the staff were
complaining
earlier today because you made an intern cry upstairs yes and i also phoned her
college and
i informed her professor that she should not get credit for her work here on
the show
why would you do something like that the young lady could not accommodate me i
asked her for a simple
task something that would not take long certainly something that every man
needs something that i need every
now now and then and she said no i see and i made her cry and if that is a
crime then i beg you now
on my hands and knees to kill me with all your might
marlon i think you're overreacting being a little too dramatic and now i have
grown fatigued but i
thank you for your for your four star criticisms of my act i've grown fatigued
i shall go take
a shower and go to sleep sometime could we come visit you on the island please
whatever you do stay
away from the island no i must ask everybody all right you have a lovely staff
but we can't come
but i must ask you all to stay away from the island okay marlon so you're going
back to the hotel
now no i'm going up to your office and when you come up please be quiet because
i will be asleep
okay okay and with that i must leave all right marlon nice to see you marlon
brando good to have you here
all right all right marlon brandon okay well hey what do you do with that we'll
be right back
i'll be right back
thank you very much so the little kid comes out in a suit and a tie and he shoves
a balloon
up his nose excuse me excuse me oh may i be so bold ladies and gentlemen look
who's here it's
it's chris ellie i i mean i'm sorry it's marlon brando marlon
now may i be so bold as to tell you that i have enjoyed the shenanigans so far
although much of it
has gone over my head but that's another story we can talk about that later
what exactly has gone
over your head marlon everything so far
no seriously two things bother me why does ringo have to butt in every five
seconds
and also what is wendell do in the grand scheme of things besides annoy the of
the audience
but with that aside i will leave okay now before i go yeah i would like to give
the audience here a
salad oh that's very nice myself now this is a salad which i made on the island
and there are some herbs
and some oils in here which i have brought from the island it is rather smelly
because i think the herbs
may have gone bad i see well maybe maybe then marlon people shouldn't really
eat that do you suppose
well it's not going to hurt them uh-huh there's no meat in it there's no cheese
to speak of
i'll tell you what i'll do please whatever you do if you're going to eat it don't
put croutons in
it i beg you on my hands and knees like a dog don't put croutons in it
now i will put this down on my chair here and whoever would like to partake of
it may do so at their leisure
well that's very nice thank you for dropping bar marlon brando
marlon brando uh our next guest spent some time working in this very building
on saturday night live we'll be right back with jim belushi
um coming up at this half hour paula poundstone will be joining us and also
senator eugene mccarthy
now on sunday i've been asked to remind you august 16th oh they're repeating
our second annual film
festival on that show will be michael fox diane sawyer jonathan winters terry garr
chris elliott
paul schaefer in the band and myself that's 10 o'clock sunday that's sunday
evening i guess this sunday
it's our second annual film uh special so watch that if you like if you don't
it makes no difference to
me
marlon brando ladies and gentlemen
thank you very much for that warm reception thank you may i be so bold as to
interrupt your
thursday night live cavalcade of comedy please do sponsored by texaco sure uh
actually you know
the uh marlon the name of the show it's just simply late night that's sorry
that was my bad
ear what never mind that's all right go on by the way i talked to your garbage
lady uh-huh and i will
be appearing at the meadowlands september 1st through the 15th and you can see
me there with
the garbage lady that's pretty good gig now i brought something for you yeah i'll
put it over
here oh nuts i don't know what house to show this to right there salted nuts
right over here we have
the mixed nuts and i will read something which i have written for you i like
how you always bring
us a little something when you bring something i think i gotta do something
yeah
what i have here we're all coming to the island by the way please whatever you
do don't come to the
island you won't have a good time sorry i'm sorry we've already made
arrangements i'm telling you if
you want to have a nice smooth trip don't come to the island because you will
have trouble well we're
all looking forward to it now let me read this i have brought for you the can
of mixed nuts right
right here and i would like you to have some of these mixed nuts right now but
i beg of you not to aim
the mixed nuts at me the can when you open these mixed nuts well why why would
i aim a can of mixed
nuts nuts at anybody no reason i'm not hungry i don't want any nuts right now
please open them over
all right marlon brought us some uh fancy nuts i'll just talk
all right
and now you may retaliate with your witty jabs please go easy on me i'm frail i'm
frail i don't i don't really
have anything to say chris uh marlon uh what what else can we do for you i have
a favor to ask of
you as you know i'm a big fan of your show of yours i think you're very fu