Name: Chris Elliott as The Hitchhiker on Letterman, January 29, 1987
Uploaded: 2017-03-11T04:36:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott as The Hitchhiker on Letterman, January 29, 1987' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-03-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott as The Hitchhiker on Letterman, January 29, 1987' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-03-11. Transcript available.

*music*
All right, welcome back to the program, kids. Monday on our show, Den Fujita,
the hamburger king of Japan, will be here in a minute.
Actor John Larroquette will also be here from Night Court. And a week from
Saturday night, it will be our fifth anniversary show. That's 11:30, right here
on NBC, February 7th, celebrating five years on the air here from New York.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, our top ten category for tonight, and the
category on the top ten list tonight is Things Shirley MacLaine Was in Previous
Lives. Things Shirley MacLaine Was in Previous Lives.
What David Letterman is about to find out may very well tug at the fiber of
what he knows is truth. The top ten list will then become the thin line between
the synthetic fantasy world of television and Dave's own personal nightmare.
Number ten, George Washington's special friend Howie.
Number nine, original Darren on Bewitched. Number eight, Big Dumb Fish. That
was in the mid-13th century. Number seven, Confucius Groupie. Number six,
equipment manager for the Buffalo Sabres. Number five, undercooked chops sent
back by President Wilson. Number four, another Big Dumb Fish.
That was in the late 16th century. Number three, Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake
on mash. Oh, I'm sorry, that's McLean Stevenson. Number two, plankton eaten by
Big Dumb Fish, early 19th century. Number one, can of stop and shop diagonally
sliced green beans.
The cat has nine lives, but no one knows the indignity of a failed top ten list.
The cat has nine lives, but no one knows the indignity of a failed top ten list.
The cat has nine lives, but no one knows the indignity of a failed top ten list
better than Dave.
The cat has nine lives, but no one knows the indignity of a failed top ten list
better than Dave.
The cat has nine lives, but no one knows the indignity of a failed top ten list
better than Dave.
The cat has nine lives, but no one knows the indignity of a failed top ten list
better than Dave.
The cat has nine lives, but no one knows the indignity of a failed top ten list
better than Dave.
What was a vision of light-hearted entertainment tonight has been transformed
into a vision of violence and death,
perpetrated on its own creator.
Chris, what exactly was that?
Chris, you must be mistaken, I'm not Chris.
What exactly is your name then?
Well, I have no name.
I'm the hitchhiker.
I see.
Oh, I get it, and you'll probably be making periodic appearances on the show,
and maybe this could be a new little running character for us?
Well, you never know, Dave.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Thank you.
Thank you.