Name: Jimmy Breslin on Letterman, July 21, 1986
Uploaded: 2017-03-19T18:09:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jimmy Breslin on Letterman, July 21, 1986' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-03-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jimmy Breslin on Letterman, July 21, 1986' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-03-19. Transcript available.

our next guest seems to be having a pretty good year so far first this man won
a pulitzer prize
for his columns in the new york daily news then he received great reviews for
this book right here
entitled table money and on friday his son is going to be married so he's doing
pretty well
please welcome jimmy breslin jimmy hi jimmy nice to see you how you doing have
a seat right there yeah
right there which one was the cats on the cats were on this one but that's all
been cleaned up
everything's fine just relax your word yeah my word everything's fine how you
doing very well you
seem a little uh suspicious a little well i mean a little anxious a little
preoccupied no i just you
know i watched myself your son's getting married friday yeah that's one we're
doing very good you
have a lot of kids we have nine we married one son already and this is the
second and all nine kids
have the kind of jobs that bring these nice tight smiles to parents you know
that's good and uh you
know to say what they're doing they're married we have the only setup where you
have to give the
brides father something to straighten the language out even though there's a a
shortage of males in new
york city severe but uh with my luck the boys aren't even likable you've got a
family of nine no you're
laughing i have
we've got enough boys to go around and it's going to wind up the only way we
got them out of the house
to begin with everybody daughters stepdaughters sons would you pay the rent on
the apartments for them
and other places oh i see so they're not now living with you now you've moved
them out no but now we
have uh on my way here i told them i was coming on the letterman show and the
first thing they said was
hold up our pictures and maybe we could uh we could meet boys because there are
no boys in new york at
the same time i could save rent see if we could meet a boy so these are photos
of your daughters yeah
because the problem is i have this book which was so nice to mention but they
think the book was written
by jackie collins and it's like stud or something and the money's through the
roof they're running out
spending so you want to show these she's in glasgow she's in scotland these are
your unmarried uh
daughters this one yeah this is kelly breslin how old how old is kelly she's 21
2 1 2
wait a minute 5 9 1 7. now you know what kind of maniacs are going to be
calling up here
i'm telling i gave them the phone number i'm a very truthful person go to the
next guy guys like julio
we're going to be calling up okay so that's your daughter yes she's a very
handsome looking woman
kelly all right she does require a certain amount of cash money to keep it
going she called me from
scotland where i thought it was safe storage for the summer and she called and
said you know scotland's
very expensive oh scotland imagine manhattan yeah okay all right okay who's
next here uh
it's funny where this is rosemary how old is rosemary 28 28 28 2 1 2
no i'm do you want to finish this up we go right through you know i'm gonna
that's emily
where is this that's emily eldridge yep 2 1 2 6 1 8 0 now let's go to me my
what a loving caring father this
man is alerting all deadbeats and drifters in a tri-state area that's his
sister lucy who's terrific
that's what's going on in the plaid okay okay that is now it that's an added
starter on my way over here
all the people did was give me envelopes that's esther newberg
nine eight three eight all right now who is this carmel darienzo it's a very
lovely one right yeah
6 0 0 7
i'm here now did this come wait a minute did this come by messenger yeah and
delivered right right
right right yeah look there's two more of them two more photos can we show
these that the people are
sending if you stay here long enough somebody's father's coming over to from
queens with his daughter's
picture that's right who's this this simply is the truth of the matter that is
kristen manion uh-huh
yeah i give you the number where the number here you can't do that well i've
done it and i'll keep
doing it as long as you keep holding up the pictures all right we have i don't
know her name
is lisa call kristen manion she'll give you the number that's all i know you
can't uh no all right
well uh we'll be uh we're gonna pause here we'll be back with jimmy you can
have a stack of
the million more you know i i think you could maybe uh i think that's illegal
to be doing that
i did it showing pictures of women and their phone numbers on television i did
that on the way over
here just pictures quick yeah yeah you want to wait an hour i'll have them
stacked like this i like
that now that could be a weekly feature there's two well easily there's two
major problems in the
country one is race and the other is loneliness and the the uh imbalance
between men and women around
here is so much it goes down even young people now why do you suppose there
there's a shortage of men in
new york i don't know i guess you could die supporting the women early that
would be one
but is that true around the country new york is all over the country you go to
chicago is the same
problem chicago seattle go any place pick up any paper and you'll see that the
church is running a
singles night particularly for older people trying to make matches and they don't
know i understand older
people but but what about younger people really i find it yeah all right let's
talk about the book
here how's it doing table money you're not doing as well as as well as it
should great reviews
it had the best reviews any novelist had in five years so why isn't it selling
because they i wrote a
book about alcoholism and they sat down and treated it seriously and they
regarded it as anthropology
i'm writing about a drunk and they're making it literally i see so it scared
people away well
they put serious the minute you put serious you're dead i thought the pulitzer
prize would take care
that must have helped it didn't no not worth a thing nice honor what good is
that yeah what good was
it no good my daughter took the check for it and that ended that now now i push
it i come on the letterman
show yeah i i mean it's not because i'm here with you i think you're very smart
i think the show is
terrific i love the audience i couldn't sell a book out here or through that
camera i don't think you
got you don't have anybody they read cliff notes if they read it all right what
else in there what
am i gonna do i think we have a very well-read audience cliff notes oh you tell
them it's a long
serious novel that requires thought and concentration and time but see that's
our audience you're now
you're playing right into the strength of our audience yeah confetti cannon
well i don't think
i don't think i'm doing and the the problem is that the kids think that it's a
jackie collins
book the reviews are so big everybody thinks it's a major bestseller so now
what you're saying is this
book it gets great reviews and potentially it could stiff pretend to not stiff
but according to the
standards and the styles of the people around me it is not producing what it
should is it is it a best
seller yet no just how long you've been out two months two months well just
close so i think that
your appearance tonight on this show is going to give it that shot in the arm
that you when it comes
out in cliff notes for some somebody to look back at some place look i've got a
very tough thing nine
kids i have to because of the bullets i have some clout in the office right i
have to threaten to quit to
get my one daughter a job in the daily news right now the one from scotland
that's over there that says
it's very expensive kelly breslin she's coming home in september and i have to
threaten to quit the
news again to get her a job the trouble is she can't spell now it's one thing
for her to go on
television and say cougar but you come to the new york daily news and you write
c-o-u-g-e-r you got a
problem she can't spell but i'm gonna have to quit and get her a job she needs
work i think it's k-o-u-g-e-r isn't
i don't know where is it what are we doing okay we'll be right back don't worry
go ahead i want to say one thing i'm very factual i said that we got the kids
out of our apartment by
paying other rents there's one thing wrong i have a stepson daniel and his
mother is going to give the
the girl our apartment if she'll marry him oh good that's i just want to get it
strong we'll see you
tonight folks bye bye