Name: How's the Weather on Letterman, December 26, 1990
Uploaded: 2017-03-31T00:58:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How's the Weather on Letterman, December 26, 1990' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-03-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How's the Weather on Letterman, December 26, 1990' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-03-31. Transcript available.

Oh, hey, Barbara. Barbara, are you back there?
Yeah!
Do you have any of them phone books?
Yeah!
Grab up a bunch of phone books.
Okay!
All right, this is Barbara Gaines, our production coordinator.
We're going to play How's the Weather Out There.
Man, it got cold here in the Northeast, didn't it?
It dropped. The temperature plummeted.
Barbara, how's it coming?
All right, come on out here.
Barbara Gaines.
Hi.
Hi.
Did you have a nice couple of days off?
I did.
How's your family?
Boy, that's a beautiful new sweater.
Did you get that? Was that new?
I did. I got it from my mother.
What color is that?
How would you describe that?
An aqua?
I'd call it blue.
Ah, blue.
That's very nice.
But look how nice it looks on the monitor.
It's almost a pastel there, don't you think?
We have Donahue's audience tonight.
Really?
Yeah, we're sharing an audience with him.
How nice.
All right, so Barbara, present me with the phone books.
You riffle all point, and we're going to play How's the Weather Out There.
This one's from Elko, Nevada.
Ever been to Elko?
No.
It's always very cold in Elko.
All right, let's try it again.
I point.
Lane Diedrickson.
Or is that Diedrickson Lane?
I lived there as a kid, you know.
Is that where we're going?
I'd like to see Phil do that.
Try that.
All right, try that.
What's the name of these people?
Lane?
Lane Diedrickson.
Let go of that.
I think the girls are going to be here in a minute.
What are you trying to pull, for God's sake?
All right, Paul, a little dialing music.
I know, it's exhausting work, isn't it, this TV?
All right, Lane Diedrickson.
You know, Morty was in Aspen over the break.
Really?
Yeah, he bought the old Andy, what you call it, place.
Andy, what's his name?
What's his name?
Andy Williams.
Yeah, I bought the old Andy Williams place.
I may have misdialed.
Hey, hey, hey!
Oh, I'm sorry.
This will be Elko, Nevada.
Lane Diedrickson is who we're trying to get a hold of today to play How's the
Weather out there.
I can't complete it, it's dialed.
All right, new book, new book, new book.
All right, all right.
Riffle and point.
Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick.
Oh, no.
Well, now you're...
There were no names.
Oh, you've tainted the experiment.
Give me another book.
Now, point, quick, quick, quick.
Oh, all right.
Okay.
Here we go.
Now we're down to Bowling Green, Kentucky.
Quick, quick, quick, quick.
All right.
Goldworks.
That's a little jewelry store.
We're not calling a jewelry store, are we?
Works?
Here, no, call...
Oh, no, here, here.
Steve and Wanda Gold.
Let's call those.
Steve and Wanda, the Golds.
Yeah, we'll call them.
5-0-2.
Yep.
Hurry, hurry.
Oh, look.
5-0-2.
Yes.
5-0-2.
I can't tell you.
Okay, there we go.
Okay, Paul.
Now a little ringing music.
Whoops.
Oops.
He's magic, isn't he?
Hi.
Okay, calling Steve and Wanda Gold.
Hello, hello.
Not there yet.
Give it two more rings, and then we 86 them, and then we go on to Saginaw,
Michigan.
Well, this is the Yellow Pages.
Will this do us any good?
No, it's not.
I don't think you're taking this seriously.
Are you taking it seriously?
I am.
I'm taking it very seriously.
Oh, sure.
Dress up with your little blue sweater, but do you pick out the phone books?
No, you're not picking them out.
All right, so much for Steve and Wanda Gold.
They lose out on the Toyota Tercel.
Okay.
How are we doing on time?
Jeez, man, was that.
I'm telling you, that was...
Thank God I'm not landing an airplane on a carrier here.
I look at the man, and I say, how much time, and I get this.
Uh...
Uh, you know, I, uh...
Uh, jeez, uh...
Uh, where are we now?
Right here?
All right.
Now I'm riffling.
Point, point, point.
Okay.
Lois.
I like Lois.
Lois Decatur.
We're calling Lois Decatur in Saginaw, Michigan.
Is that right?
Yes.
All right.
This the area code?
Yes.
Okay.
Okay, nicely done.
All right.
Oh.
All right, take your hand out of the book.
Take your hand out of the book.
I need to kick Norton.
Okay.
It's ringing.
There's a second ring.
Okay.
Lois Decatur.
I'm sorry we didn't get to talk to Steve and Wanda.
Right after the show, they're going up to see Phil.
Yeah.
We're sending out those dual-purpose tickets now.
You can make a day of it.
You come and see us, then you go see Phil.
And a lovely boxed lunch in between.
Sounds very nice.
Nobody there either.
All right.
Marty, do we have time for one other one?
Yes, you do.
Oh, good.
Let's try one more.
Let's see.
New Mexico?
Yeah, New Mexico.
I have a good feeling about this one.
Honey!
All right.
Francis.
Francis.
Oh, Fritz in parentheses.
Francis F.
Foreign.
Parentheses Fritz.
All right.
Here we go.
Everybody's out shopping.
That's what it is, you know.
Returning their gifts.
Did you get some lovely gifts this year, Barbara?
I did.
That's good.
Here we go.
Oh, bless you.
Would you like a lozenge?
Who are we calling?
Fritz.
I'm just going to ask for Fritz.
How many people are living in this country?
250 million Americans.
Is that right?
You'd think maybe we'd get one at home.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Maybe they're away for Christmas.
What about your folks?
Are your folks home?
Yeah.
You want to call your mom?
Sure.
All right.
Give me Sophie's number.
Are you sure they're in?
No, but I pray.
All right.
What part of the world is this?
They live in Pompano Beach, Florida.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
We're only for a special for dinner.
All right.
Let's see.
This would be Sophie?
Sophie.
Yeah.
Sophie and Mike?
Yeah.
Is this a good idea?
I don't know.
Yeah.
Can't be any worse than what we've just been through, can it?
Hello.
Hello, Sophie.
Yes.
Hi, this is Dave Letterman.
I work with your friend, your daughter, Barbara.
Hi, Dave.
Is that you?
How are you?
Hi, Sophie.
Can we put your voice on the air here?
Oh, I love it.
Where are you?
Oh, my God.
What shall I say?
Yeah.
What did she say?
What shall I say?
Okay.
How is everything in New York City?
What did she say then?
I don't know.
How is everything in New York City?
Oh, everything is fine here, Sophie.
How are things down there in Florida?
Oh, great.
I miss my barber.
She was here.
She had a good time, I hope.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's right here.
Say hello to her.
Oh, good.
Hi, Mom.
Barbara, baby.
How are you?
Did she give you a new sweater?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, Sophie, she looks great in the new sweater.
Oh, good.
That's Mike's sweater.
She's got so fat, she had to wear her father's sweater.
You know, Sophie, one more remark like that, and we're going to have to disqualify
you.
Oh, my God.
No, don't do that.
I was always kidding.
We just called to find out how the weather is down there.
Oh, it's better now.
I had a hard time last night.
I came home in a blinding rainstorm, but I made it.
I do all the driving, and I got everyone home safe here.
It was fun.
How's my little barber doing?
Put her on a diet.
Oh, man.
Hey, Sophie, we have to go.
Listen, listen, have a happy new year.
Nice talking with you.
You too, Jay.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Thank you.
Bye.
What's the matter with that woman?
We're way too late for that, are we?
What do we do?
Do we do the top ten?
What do we do, Morty?
All right.
We'll do a commercial.
Then we'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.
We'll be right back with tonight's program.