Name: Dial-It-Services on Letterman, May 18, 1982
Uploaded: 2017-04-09T20:54:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dial-It-Services on Letterman, May 18, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dial-It-Services on Letterman, May 18, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-09. Transcript available.

You know about the telephone company having various dial-it services,
dial the weather, dial the horoscope.
They're now introducing a whole new line of dial-it services,
and we have done this occasionally on the program.
We're now going to place a few phone calls and check out the new dial-it
services
that are available here presently in New York City
and soon to be available all across the United States.
They make a vast amount of money on these things,
and some of them are quite interesting.
This is the first service that we found.
Dial a list of available Manhattan apartments.
Dial a list of available Manhattan apartments for under $5,000.
Going to find out.
Dial a list of available Manhattan apartments for under $5,000.
There's a studio apartment available at 385 West 8...
Oops, sorry. Too late.
Now, this is a service for the younger theatergoers.
This is Dial a Kid's Movie Review.
Dial a Kid's Movie Review.
Today's movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark.
It was so neat.
You see, there's this guy, and he's after this ark, okay?
Oh, first there's this really big rock scene.
And then there's the neat part where this girl is scared by a lot of really
gross dead people.
And then there's this part where there are, like, millions of snakes.
And the guy finds the ark, and the bad guys all get their faces melted off at
the end.
The end.
This happens to me a lot.
You want to play Monopoly, you get the board all set up.
Suddenly you realize you don't have any dice.
Dial a number between 1 and 12.
8.
Okay.
Now, this is a spin-off of the very successful Dial-a-Took service, which I
believe started here in New York
and now available in several other cities in the United States.
This is Dial-a-Stooge.
Dial-a-Stooge.
Oh!
Hiya, toots!
Hi, you!
Why you a...
Dial-a-Stooge.
Oh, hang on.
It's baseball season.
And here's a service for the more apathetic fans who really don't know who to
root for.
Don't know who to root for.
Don't even care who to root for.
This is Dial-a-Generic Baseball-a-Night-Sooge.
Generic Baseball-a-Night-Sooge.
Oh, here's Johnny Wyatt batting in at 355.
An interesting story about Wyatt.
He was, uh...
Well, kind of responsible for the development of the atomic bomb out in Santa
Fe, New Mexico.
It's now back to the street on work.
Wyatt, uh...
One of 18 children from, uh, University of New Mexico.
And he says he hopes to someday be an opera star.
Here's a big caliber of all.
The interesting thing about the mother is,
is that when they come to town, almost anything can happen.
Almost anything usually does.
Don't forget, Thermal Mutt Night coming up August 9th here at Pawtucket Stadium.
And here's a drive way back to left field.
This ball is under-attracted by a Robinson.
He's got the catch.
And that'll be all for the Tomito Mutt.
There you go. Dial.
By the way, uh, one night we're gonna have Thermal Mutt Night right here in the
studio, ladies and gentlemen.
So, uh, drop that down in your forehead, will ya?
Um, alone for the weekend? How many times has this happened to me?
Nothing much planned.
Now you can do this.
Simply call this number for...
Is that gonna go through?
Now you can call this number for dial a college mixer.
Hello, what's your major? Would you like some punch?
Of course I got a 560 on my verbal end, and of course a 250 on my math as a T's.
I'm a little groggy now, I just pulled an all-nighter.
I was a poli-sci major, but now of course I'm an economics major.
Say, why don't we go over to the ed building, and I'll pick up my class cards,
and we can go check out the pie pie house and...
Wait a minute, those boys don't look like they go to the university.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
What are you doing here?
Hey, that's my drink.
Let go!
My arm!
Get out!
This one's for people who are starved for entertainment, and I guess that
pretty much includes all of us here tonight.
This is...
This is...
This is dial a lounge jack.
Dial...
Dial a lounge jack.
Right here.
Hey, what's your area code?
Hey, isn't that New York?
You know, that's just where I'm heading.
So, start spreading the news.
I believe in today.
I want to be a part of it.
A New York, New York...
Dial...
Dial a lounge jack.
Now, we're gonna pause, close down the audience.
We'll be back to take a look at our first of the Seafloid series, "In and their
Inventions."
We'll be back to the Seafloid series.
We'll be back to the Seafloid series.
We'll be back to the Seafloid series.
We'll be back to the Seafloid series.
We'll be back to the Seafloid series.
We'll be back to the Seafloid series.
We'll be back to the Seafloid series.
We'll be back to the Seafloid series.