Name: David Letterman Calls Mom About Crocuses, February 19, 1991
Uploaded: 2017-04-12T14:54:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman Calls Mom About Crocuses, February 19, 1991' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman Calls Mom About Crocuses, February 19, 1991' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-12. Transcript available.

Did you have a nice weekend?
Yeah, I had a pretty good weekend. How about you?
I had a lovely weekend, sir. Thank you very much.
Thank you very much for asking.
Seems like I had something to say.
Oh, you know, it's almost spring here, right?
Almost, yeah.
I'm going to do something here. It's only going to take a second.
Please, if you don't mind, indulge me on this,
and then we'll just get on with the show.
Right.
And it has to do with my mom.
Okay.
And I just have a feeling that this is the time of year
that mom would tell you, without being prompted,
if you were to call mom,
pretty soon the conversation would turn to
whether or not the crocuses are up.
I just have a feeling that although we're still in February,
what exactly is the date?
February 19th.
February 19th.
Man, you should have seen the look of panic
that shot across his face.
I looked right at him and he said,
what is the date?
And it was like a prisoner doing life.
It just...
You know, I was on vacation a couple of weeks ago,
and I wrote a little postcard to my mom.
And I said, Mom, you know, I'm having a lot of fun.
The other day I went swimming,
accidentally shot myself in the foot with a spear gun,
and the blood attracted some sharks,
and we had to call the life of the coast guard and so forth.
And I, you know, I thought this was funny.
So the postcard finally gets there three weeks late.
I called her yesterday and she said,
did you get a tetanus shot?
Isn't that sweet?
Isn't that cute?
It's very sweet.
All right, so here, we'll just do this crocus thing with the telephone.
So, Paul, as always, as you know here,
what I'm going to need is a little dialing music.
Okay, there we go.
Man, listen to that dial tone.
We're ready to go tonight, aren't we?
All right, that's enough, Paul.
So, without any prompting,
without any prompting,
I feel confident that Mom will start...
Here we go.
Crocus.
Mom, how are you?
It's me, Dave.
I know.
How are things?
Just fine.
How are things there?
Yeah, pretty good.
We're having a nice time so far.
Are you feeling all right?
Everything fine?
Oh, yes.
And you're keeping busy?
Everything's good?
The family, everybody's fine?
Yes.
Yeah, you're having pretty good weather?
Well, no.
It's a great, damp February day.
Oh, so what does that mean, Mom?
Does that mean it's going to be kind of a late spring?
I don't know about that.
The daffodils and crocus are coming up.
Oh, I should have had money on this one.
Okay, Mom.
Well, thank you very much.
I hope the weather gets better for you.
It will.
Okay, thank you, Mom.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Bye-bye, Mom.
Man, I should have gone for the little Quinella there.
You get the crocus and the daffodils.
Yeah.
But, of course, now, like always, she's steamed.
Well, because she knows we've had a laugh at her expense, and she doesn't know
why.
Oh, that's my mom.
Ladies and gentlemen...