Name: Carol Kane on Letterman, November 22, 1982
Uploaded: 2017-04-13T23:58:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Carol Kane on Letterman, November 22, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-13. Transcript available. By request. "Taxi" footage edited out due to copyright caution.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Carol Kane on Letterman, November 22, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-13. Transcript available. By request. "Taxi" footage edited out due to copyright caution.

Thank you gentlemen. Welcome back to the show. My next guest is a very talented
actress who has
played a wide variety of roles on stage, film, and television. She is currently
appearing as
Simca Gravis on Taxi, a role for which she won an Emmy last year. Please
welcome Carol Kane.
Hello. So darn nice to see you. Darn nice to see you. How did you get this job
here? You
were in 28 feature films? Yeah. Nominated for an Academy Award? And now you're
on television.
How did that happen? Um, damn divine, all right. Some kind of a mix-up, huh?
Something went wrong.
No, they just, about three years ago, they called me to play Andy. Andy Kaufman's
in the green room,
by the way, everyone. Um, they called me to play his, uh-oh. They called, Liz.
Um, they called me to
play his wife. Uh, no, well, I was his girlfriend at that time. And, uh, just
went, well, I guess. So
last year, uh, they asked me to come back. And I did, uh, one guest shot, Simca
Returns, in which I
slept with his alter ego, Vic. And then, um, I think we've all done that. Can't
help it. And then, um,
and then I went to Australia to make a movie. And when I came back, I, I ran
into Danny DeVito and
Judd Hirsch at a party. And they both said to me, well, congratulations. And I
said, well, what do you
mean? And they said, well, you're getting married next week. I married Andy.
And then they asked me to come
back. So that was, it's, it worked out very nicely for everybody concerned.
Yeah. Yeah. I hope so. Oh,
sure. Uh, now, now, this little, um, this goofy little language that you and,
uh, uh, latke
communicate with, is that, is there, it's not an actual language, is it? No,
Andy created it. Um,
he did. And then, and then, um, he taught us to me. Uh, he took me to a Chinese
restaurant and he
forbade me to speak English, um, for the night. And, and that's how I learned
it. But it doesn't,
uh, it doesn't. See, I feel like, I have no idea. Well, it sounds curious, I
think, to America to
hear that you would, uh, be pressured into that kind of tomfooler. No, no, no,
I asked him. He did
it as a favor to me. Oh, he's, but it doesn't mean anything, does it? Well, we
have our lines
written in English, uh, in the script. And then we just open our mouths and
hope for the best.
Airtime. Could you, could you say something to me in that, uh, it's just gibberish,
though,
isn't it? Well, uh, tell me what to say. Give me a line. Uh, boy, how about
those Yankees?
Now, now, if Andy were out here, he would know what you said? Of course. Uh, we
have, uh, some
videotape or film. What is it? Videotape or film? It's film. No, it's film. Is
it film?
Oh, well, now it's video tape. Okay. The set of still photographs were going to
flip rather
rapidly. Uh, look at how great you look over there in this shot. No, that's, no,
no, wait a minute.
There. Look at this. Very stunning with this black thing and your jewelry. Oh,
then I'll have to look
in this direction to the rest of the show. Oh, my. You don't mind me, David. No,
you've got a
handsome figure, both on and off the silver screen, as they say. Uh, now we're
going to take a look
at some, uh, film which had been transferred to videotape for you, keeping
score at home.
And this is the scene where you, uh, uh, your husband had been unfaithful,
correct? Yes.
Uh, from a recent episode of Taxi. Right. So in order to save my marriage, I
have to seduce
Judd Hirsch. You'll see. Okay. So, and that's what you need to know to watch
this, and, uh,
please do, won't you?
Oh, my. Oh, my.
Heal me like a grape so I can get out of here.
How many times have we heard those words?
Uh, that's, that's a great show, isn't it?
It's so good. I'll tell you, when I see it, when I hear that line, even though
I already
said it, I feel like, well, I should pay them to give me lines like that. You
can't go wrong.
Uh, tell me about living in Haiti.
You sure you want to know?
Yeah, I think so. You're the, I think you're the first person I've talked to
who has actually
lived in Haiti.
Uh, well, at the time that I was there, which was 62, uh, it was not very
pleasant. It was
the height of, uh, Papa Doc's, uh, power. And, um, people, they were very
frightened at
all times. Literally, there were people in the walls spying on you. You were
told, I was
10 years old, and I was warned, first thing off the plane, don't say anything
about the
government at all. They're in the halls, they drive the cabs, the spies, you
know, so it
was quite frightening.
Now, why were you there, exactly, as a 10-year-old? You're, I imagine your
folks were there with
you, weren't they?
Um, yes. My, my dad was working there with AID. He was supposed to design low-cost
housing
and, uh, schools and hospitals. Um, and they were supposed to provide the manpower,
and we
were supposed to provide the technical know-how. But, anyway, we got kicked out
of Haiti before
any of that, uh, came through.
Things are, are better there now? Is that what we, or not better?
Yeah, they're better. I don't think it's ever going to be a charming place to
live, although
it's very beautiful, but the government is tricky there. You know, I have this
sensation
like I'm about to be shot. I don't, um, um, ask me about something.
Really? You think so? You, I mean, something you picked up from the audience,
or just?
No, no, um, uh, no, my, my agent.
Oh, what do you mean? Because, uh, because you're suddenly talking about
something?
Yeah, no, I'm thinking, you know, I don't know that it's, that it's, uh, not
dangerous
to speak about another country's government.
Oh, I don't know. We'll check on that.
Uh, if there's a problem, I don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry, I brought
it up, so
it's really my fault. No, that's okay, that's okay. I mean, it's interesting.
But I, see, it was never my intent to have bloodshed result from this
discussion.
I, you have to understand that.
Okay.
I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving. Thank you, you too. You'll be here in New
York, and
then you go? Uh-huh, then I go back next week. All right, well, say hello to,
uh, Mr. Kaufman
for us, if you will. I shall. All right, Carol Kane, ladies and gentlemen. We'll
be right back with Don Washington.
Thank you.