Name: Dave's Mom at Lillehammer Collection on Late Show, February 1994
Uploaded: 2017-04-15T23:31:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Mom at Lillehammer Collection on Late Show, February 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Mom at Lillehammer Collection on Late Show, February 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-15. Transcript available.

Dave's Mom at Lillehammer Collection on Late Show, February 1994

Now, as you know, the Winter Olympics from Lillehammer, Norway, begin right
here on CBS on Saturday.
And beginning tomorrow on the CBS television network, you're going to be seeing
a promo regarding us
and a little something we're doing covering the Olympics from Norway.
We're very excited about this.
Take a look at the promo that will be on the network beginning tomorrow.
Roll that, Hal!
She will travel from Indiana to a snow-covered village in Norway
to bring you Olympic action as only she can.
David Letterman's mother reports direct from Lillehammer.
Starting Monday on Late Show with David Letterman, share a moment with Dave's
mom.
Every night, live via satellite from Lillehammer, Norway, we'll be visiting
with my mom.
Your actual mother, that's great.
For two weeks.
Well, Dave, we saw another reindeer.
Two weeks every night, an Olympic report from my mom in Lillehammer, Norway.
That'll be something to look forward to.
It begins a week from tonight, is that right?
Okay, you'll get to know, you'll really get to know my mom then.
And I think after those two weeks, a lot of your questions about me will have
been answered.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have here tonight's top ten list.
Well, David, it was a little cold so we didn't leave the room.
Mom is very excited about this.
She's been studying up on Norway for the last two weeks.
The category tonight, oh, coincidentally, rejected Olympic sports.
Top ten rejected Olympic sports.
And now here to help in tonight's presentation of the top ten list from CBS
this morning,
Paula Zahn and Harry Smith.
Kids, come on out and say hello to the folks.
Paula, nice to see you.
Harry, how are you?
Well, David, someone stole our traveler's checks.
The category from the home office, top ten rejected Olympic sports.
Here we go.
Number ten, pantsless ski jump.
Number nine, synchronized hockey.
Oh, very nice.
Number eight, the four-man Zamboni.
Number seven, racketeering.
Number six, bobsled with Bob Barker, Bob Eubanks, and Bob Hope.
Yeah.
Number five, the really drunk luge.
Number four, lead pipe free-for-all.
And the number three, rejected Olympic sport, bare-ass slalom.
Number two, bobbet sledding.
There you go.
Oh.
And the number one, rejected Olympic sport, freestyle giluli.
There you go.
There you go.
Good morning.
Good morning.
That was cute, wasn't it?
It was lovely.
Our thanks to the folks from CBS this morning.
Ah.
Well, David, we forgot to bring chapstick.
Two weeks of mom from Norway.
Here's something else we're very excited about.
Maybe you don't know about this.
You're hearing it here now.
Well, Monday, we will begin our exclusive coverage of the Winter Olympics from
Lillehammer, Norway with my mom.
Yeah.
Right now, this very minute, my mom is on an airplane flying to Norway from
Indianapolis.
It's about a 36-hour flight.
And she will begin broadcasting with us each and every night of the Olympics.
Hal, roll the little promo the folks will be seeing all over the CBS television
network.
Here we go.
She will travel from Indiana to a snow-covered village in Norway to bring you
Olympic action as only she can.
David Levin's mother reports direct from Lillehammer.
Starting Monday, on Late Show with David Levin, share a moment with Dave's mom.
Yes, she'll get to the bottom of this Tanya Harding thing.
Mom.
Harvey Wade.
Harvey Wade.
Mom is, uh...
She's terribly excited.
Mom just found out that she's going to be rooming with the bobsled team.
No kidding.
So she's wacky.
Good for her.
And I believe now, is it safe to mention this?
Mom's first guest from Norway Monday night on this program will be Hillary
Clinton.
Wow.
Really?
Wow.
Big time.
You know, it occurs to me, I've had a lot of folks at home are saying to
themselves,
why is Dave's mom in Norway?
Right.
And then what occurs to me is, why is Hillary Clinton in Norway?
Exactly.
It's like we've got everything ironed out here at home?
Why?
Why is that?
I don't know.
Mom will be talking to Hillary Clinton.
Does your husband really enjoy French fries?
He runs an awful lot, but he's still heavy.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a lovely program tonight.
Siskel and the Ebert are here, is here.
Daryl Hall is also here.
And Muggsy Bogues.
This is a fascinating story.
Muggsy Bogues, Charlotte Hornets.
Excuse me.
Can I help you?
Hey, hey, pretty boy.
You do your job, and you just let me do mine, okay?
Okay, all right.
Excuse me, it's pretty boy again.
Can I ask you a question?
What do you want, Goldilocks?
You're just like a regular cop, right?
As a matter of fact, I'm not just a regular cop.
I'm a cop on the edge.
What's the deal with that Al Gore?
That we've got to see.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have here tonight's top ten list.
Oh, here it is.
Oh, I'm taking the midnight flight to Norway.
The category tonight from the home office in Sioux City, Iowa.
Top ten questions, Connie Chung asked Tonya Harding earlier, here tonight, on
CBS.
Connie Chung's television program, which is toe-to-toe.
What is it?
Eye-to-eye.
Eye-to-eye.
Connie Chung was interviewing Tonya Harding earlier, right here on the CBS
television network.
Top ten questions now.
Connie Chung, ask Tonya Harding.
Here we go.
Number ten.
Would you walk through the metal detector for me one more time, please?
Number nine.
Do you think you could kick my ass?
Number eight.
Number eight.
Can you help me and Maury have a baby?
Well, I think that's uncalled for.
Number seven.
How much do you think your pals would charge to whack Dan Rather's knees?
Number six.
Hillary, while you're in Norway, who's looking after socks?
Number six.
What the hell is that cop on the edge thing?
Don't push me, funny man.
I wish he'd go home.
Number five.
Do you know Amy Fisher?
Number four.
When he hit Nancy in the knee, did it sort of sound like Chung?
Chung.
Chuck.
Number three.
Did you see the Beatles reunion on Letterman last night?
No, I think we're all right.
Tomorrow I'll meet you.
Remember, I'll always be true.
Number two.
How many packs of cigarettes is a gold medal worth in prison?
And the number one question.
Connie Chung asked Tonya Harding earlier this evening here on CBS on Eye to Eye.
Can You Spell Gillooley?
There you go.
There you go.
You guys are great.
I enjoyed doing the show with you folks.
Oh, I thank you.
We like doing the show with you.
Look what I got here.
I got me a big old box of snowballs.
All right.
And I'm only going to use them if I have to, because once I start throwing them,
I know you'll
pelt them back at me.
I'd rather not have any of that.
Speaking of snow, my mother, right now, right this very minute, from Indiana,
my mother
is in Lillehammer, Norway.
She called me this morning.
She's very excited.
Had a great trip.
Everybody was very nice to her, and she couldn't be more thrilled.
She's rooming now with Tonya Harding, right there in the Olympics village.
No kidding.
Wow.
Yes.
Yes.
Whack.
Whack.
And Monday, Monday night on this program, the Olympics begin Saturday.
Saturday yet?
Saturday.
The big opening ceremony will be Saturday night, and then, of course, Sunday,
and then
Monday night right here on our show, live via the satellite.
Is it via or via?
Whatever you say.
Thank you.
Well, you're Canadian.
What do you say up there?
We say via.
Okay.
That's all I needed to hear.
Yeah.
Hey.
I don't know.
I just snapped.
Can you forgive me?
All right.
Anyway, live via satellite here on the program, Mom, my mother, covering the
Olympics for us,
will be interviewing her first interview, Hillary Clinton.
Wow.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
It's going to be.
And I don't mind telling you, I'm more than a little nervous about this whole
thing.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have here tonight's top ten list.
Let's do it.
Paul, you understand why I had to throw that snowball at you, don't you?
Why?
It was for your own good.
I see.
I have no snowballs here.
Oh, that's a shame.
Boom!
It's for your own good.
It's tough love.
I know.
I appreciate it.
You'll be a better man for it.
Sure.
And the kids in the band will respect you for a change.
I am aware of it.
Sure they will.
The category from the home office in Sioux City, Iowa.
On the show this evening, ladies and gentlemen, Super Dave Osborne will be
joining us.
It's great.
And a young man from North Carolina by the name of Brad Privet, who is a world
champion loon
caller, he can, he can, he uses devices and he also loses, loses, uses his
hands and, and
loons swarm him.
Loons swarm him.
I bet that would get a loon.
Watch out, or they're going to swarm you.
I'm not saying that's world championship form, but I'll bet you that'd get a loon.
And look what else I get to do when I make this call.
Sneaky.
Yeah, sneaky.
Ah, oh, a little nervous now.
I know.
It's time.
The time has come.
Ladies and gentlemen, here now, live from Norway via satellite covering the
Winter Olympics
for us, please say hello to my mom.
Oh my, here we go.
Hi, David.
Hi, mom.
Hi, David.
Hey, mom.
Guess what?
Fabio was just here.
Really?
Yeah.
Great.
He told me to give you his best.
Thank you.
Mom, how are things in Norway?
Cold.
Yeah.
But beautiful.
It's wonderful country, David.
Was that somebody stealing your truck back there?
They are grooming the ice here in the Olympic Park for the ski jump tomorrow.
Now, you gave that a try.
Did you give that a try yet, mom?
No.
Yeah.
I don't intend to.
How about the opening ceremonies?
They looked like they were beautiful.
They were beautiful.
Just absolutely spectacular.
And the ski jump is right behind me.
Can you see it?
Yeah.
I can.
I see it.
It looks like some high school punks playing around back there.
Now, mom, you know, in the opening ceremonies when they had the big egg that
came up out of
the ground there, remember that?
Mom?
Yes.
That giant egg, do you remember that?
Yes.
Yeah.
I thought for a second the San Diego chicken would come out of there.
No, no, no.
It was a beautiful, I guess I must have been mistaken.
I think you were.
Is the food good there in Norway, mom?
Very good, yes.
Well, what kind of stuff do they eat?
A lot of reindeer?
I haven't had that yet.
I guess you can get it, but not a lot, no.
And how about the CBS people?
Are they being nice to you?
Oh, they are wonderful.
It's a whole wonderful family.
The CBS family is just great.
All right.
Now, mom, let me tell you something.
Don't let those CBS goons push you around, all right?
I'll take care of them for you.
They are being so nice, David.
Okay, good enough.
Now, yesterday, mom, you went over and you saw the United States play France in
a hockey
game, right?
That's right.
And during the game is when you got the chance to visit with Hillary Clinton.
That's right.
All right.
Now, we have that on videotape.
We're going to roll that, and then we'll chat with you after we see the
interview there
with Hillary.
Here we go.
Roll it, Hal.
When did you come to Lillihammer?
Oh, gosh.
We got here at about 2.30 in the morning, Saturday morning.
Who else have you interviewed?
You're the first.
Oh, great.
Well, I feel very honored.
I'm good.
And you came from the award ceremony.
Oh, did you get to see that?
No, we didn't.
You know, I was there when he won, and I got to go and meet him and his parents.
Oh, how wonderful.
It was thrilling.
And he's such a great kid.
I was so proud of him.
And then when I found out they were going to have the medal ceremony, I just
had to be
there.
Oh, yes.
You know, to scoundrel, and the flag was raised, and the anthem was played.
Oh, you know, and he and the president called, and we got the president on a
cell phone to
congratulate him.
Nobody thought we would win the gold medal in the downhill skiing.
Did Chelsea get to come with you?
Chelsea's here with me.
Oh, wonderful.
Yeah, and that's one of the reasons, you know, I've got to go back, because she
could miss
a little bit of school, but not very much.
There'll be a penalty coming up to France.
Delayed penalty call.
Brownlee fired to left and scores!
You'll have to come visit us in the White House sometime.
Oh, I'd love to.
Yeah, tell Dave to come on dow