Name: Johnny Bench on Letterman, May 5, 1983
Uploaded: 2017-05-02T00:55:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Johnny Bench on Letterman, May 5, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Johnny Bench on Letterman, May 5, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-02. Transcript available.

My next guest is considered by many observers to be the greatest catcher in
baseball history.
He is also the host of the Emmy Award-winning Baseball Bunch,
a program which is seen nationally on Saturdays during the baseball season.
Here now is a clip from that program. Watch carefully, if you will.
I guess my change-up didn't fool you that time, huh, Johnny?
Change-up? I thought that was your Peggy Lee fastball.
Is that all there is? Then let's keep swinging.
Is that all there is? Then let's keep swinging.
Kind of the ugly side of baseball. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr.
Johnny Bench.
Johnny. Nice to see you. Nice to see you. Have a seat, if you will.
Johnny Bench. Boy, oh boy. I used to, I told you this before, go down.
This was the days of the Big Red Machine.
Lee May and Tony Perez and yourself.
Tommy Helms.
Tommy Helms.
I brought some more clippings. I didn't know if you wanted to...
A little more. Okay, we'll get a look at this a little bit later.
Maybe.
Oh, that's cute. Now that's a little boy and a dog.
No, it is.
That was when you were at Ball U, right?
Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana. Yes, sir. Home of the Cardinals.
Well, we won't get into that. But anyway, it's a real thrill to meet you.
Now, you always... Binger, Oklahoma, right?
660 people.
Obviously, following the steamrollers is tough, but George Burns, 87 years old.
And my grandmother just turned 87.
And my other grandparents had their 65th wedding anniversary the other day.
Good heavens.
So, maybe they'll get part of the book or something.
65th?
65 years.
They're 85 and 83.
How... Is that something you want to celebrate? 65 years of marriage?
Wow.
I'm working on a year.
Anyway, Binger, Oklahoma, small town.
Now, but you always knew you were going to be not just a major leaguer.
You had a pretty good idea you were going to be world class, huh?
Well, I was...
My father was a ball player, and he wanted all the kids that were born to him
basically
to be ball players.
So, I made a C in penmanship in fifth grade, and I was very disturbed about it.
So, I knew that if, you know, people read my autograph and they couldn't
understand what
it said, I was, you know, what good is an autograph?
So, I used to go down to Texaco station with Ford McKinney, and I'd sit after
school and
write my name.
He still has a cigar box full of autographs.
So, you practice an autograph?
Here in New York, he would go for $4.50 a piece, but...
Ford McKinney?
Ford McKinney, Texaco.
We call him Texaco.
Well, what's he doing now?
He's working down the oil fields down in Texas.
Yeah.
He's probably back home now because it's kind of run dry on him.
Now, when you went up, you didn't play minor league ball, did you?
I played two and a half years.
I started when I was 17.
Got out of high school and caught a plane to Tampa, Florida, and got off the
plane at
nine o'clock.
One of the pitchers picked me up, took me to the ballpark, and I caught the
ninth inning
of the ball game.
Yeah.
Woke up the next, you know, didn't have a place to stay, had, you know, one
pair of
slacks, and the rest were jeans.
Went over to play, stayed with some of the guys in the apartment.
Woke up the next morning, 17, you know, major pro ball player, you know.
Yeah.
Woke up, clothes were still on the floor, breakfast wasn't ready, and I wanted
my mommy.
That's a tough thing, 17 years old, all of a sudden thrown in with the wolves
there.
When you go out to the mound to talk to the pitcher, do you ever have any
difficulty understanding
the signals?
You're running the show pretty much, aren't you?
Well, I'm in charge.
There's times when a pitcher should shake me off, I think, just to get a
different pattern.
But, you know, like, certainly our pitchers, most of them are trained now.
But back in the old days, when Pedro Bourbon, people, I mean, you probably saw
Pedro pitch,
but Pedro would tell you, I tell you six times, I'm not going to tell you seven.
We go through spring training, it'd be for, you know, spring training is six
weeks, and
we go through spring training, and we go through, we always had these signs,
pumps after two,
so we could, you know, decoy and confuse the runners at second base.
I'm sorry, what did you say, pumps after two?
Pumps after two.
So if you put two fingers down, you start counting after that, okay?
Yeah.
All right, I'm going to give you a sign.
There's one, that don't count.
Now you start counting.
So you gave three signs after the finger, two.
So that's the third pitch that they would have, fastball, curveball, slider.
So we'd go through this for six weeks.
Now Pedro, of course, opening day, we'd walk out to the mound, they'd finally
call him in,
and he'd call me out to the mound, I'd say, first sign, go first sign.
And that's the way it went all year long.
But we got into the 75 World Series when we played Boston.
Now Will McEnany has been with us since spring training, so we've been together
six months,
almost seven now.
And we got Fred Lynn up to the plate.
I call 2-3-1-3, it's a slider.
I'm ready.
Will's left-handed, so it's going to break out this way.
Fred Lynn's left-handed, so it's breaking away from him.
So I'm ready to catch the slider.
He throws a fastball inside, and I might knock it down.
I doubt that I, you know, keep the run from scoring.
The bases are loaded.
I mean, we're in the sixth game as it is, and that turned out bad enough.
But Fred Lynn swung at the pitch, popped it up down the left field line.
George Foster goes over, catches it.
Now Denny Doyle's on third base, and Don Zimmer is the third.
Third base coach.
And Don is saying, no, no, no.
And Denny thought he said, go, go, go.
So now he takes off.
George Foster throws a one-hopper to me.
I tag Doyle out, double play.
We still got, you know, there's two outs, and we didn't have any outs in the
inning.
So I called time and go out to the mound, and I said, Will, I said, you crossed
me up.
You know, I called for the slider, 2313.
And he said, oh, I guess I did.
Well, sometimes those things work out, don't they?
And I walked back to the mound, and the umpire said, well, let's go.
What's the problem?
I said, you wouldn't understand it.
Yeah.
Now, when a guy, this is the one thing I remember from listening to Joe Nuxall,
and it's now Marty Brenneman.
Used to be Jim McIntyre.
Jim McIntyre.
Before that, it was, I mean, after that, it was Al Michaels.
Al Michaels.
This means nothing to anyone who doesn't live in the tri-state area, as they
say, but great baseball listening.
Anyway, a guy would be wild high when he was tired.
They say, well, a fastball pitcher, if they're coming in high, he's tired.
Is that true, or is that just something Joe would make up, the old left-hander,
rounding third and heading for home?
That's usually when their arm is trailing.
Their arm speed is a very important thing of getting the arm through while your
legs are going through.
So if they're high, they're actually, their arm's dragging, they're dropping
their elbow, they're not staying on top of the elbow.
The elbow should stay up on top of the, I heard Tom Seaver say this.
The elbow should stay on top above the shoulder.
So, yeah, I mean, there's times when, you know, they just don't have it.
Now, is it up to you?
Is it your responsibility to explain to the pitcher that he is now no longer
effective because he's tired?
You try not to let him know that you're trying to get him out of there.
Yeah.
You have a signal with Sparky, and you sort of look at the pitcher and say,
check the center fielder, and then when you do Sparky, say.
So Sparky starts warming somebody up, and those were the old days before when
Sparky was probably manager when you were coming down.
Yeah, yeah.
But, you know, there's times when you have to go out there and say, look, you
know, are you all right?
And they'll say, well, I'm a little tired.
And then Sparky will come out or whoever the manager is, like Russ Nixon, will
come out when I was catching and say, you know, is he okay?
And I say, well, you know, he's getting tired, and I think you ought to, you
know, make the change.
And so we do it.
Who was the guy that you kept calling for the changeup or a changeup because
his fastball wasn't, had no heat on it?
Well, that's, I should, Jerry will probably shoot me for the sound.
Jerry Arrigo was a left-handed pitcher, and he had a real good curveball that
particular day.
We were playing in the daytime, playing the Dodgers, and he had just a mediocre
fastball.
And so I called curveball.
Nobody's on base, so I called curveball.
He goes, curveball.
Curveball.
And, you know, I know the guy who's going to hit his fastball.
I mean, he can't get it over anyway.
So finally, he finally shakes it off again.
I put down fastball, and he throws it up and away.
I'm just sitting there in a crouch, and he throws the fastball, and I go, I
reach out barehanded and catch it.
That's some heat, boy, when you can grab him with your...
He got the message.
That's embarrassing.
I've already eaten, thank you.
No, you know what this is about, don't you?
I think so, yeah.
Okay, you want to...
Now, seven is your record?
Yes, seven is...
Do you feel up to it?
Sure, I haven't done anything today with my hands, so...
Okay, see what you can do.
I guess this is supposed to be for the vaudeville.
That's right.
Yeah, see, now when you're done playing, you can go out on tour and do this.
Yes, we are supposedly going to put seven of these balls in my hand.
I can remember at one time it was seven baseballs, imagine the possibilities.
That's what they...
Remember that?
Well, I think it was a 36C at that time.
We are...
Now, how many you got there?
You got six.
You got six.
I'm not sure, but we got some rubbed-down balls with looks like some mascara
here.
Who's working back there in the back anyway?
What do you need on there?
Some of that mud?
I saw Pedro...
I don't know if I can say this.
I saw Pedro Bourbon strangle a teammate in the dugout one night.
Pedro was...
No, this was the Indianapolis triple-A ball.
That was one.
Well, let's see.
That's only...
You got six there.
That's only six.
That's only half a dozen.
Yeah, we may be here for a while, but the other one goes over here anyway.
Let me get the...
Let me get the...
Good hands, no sticks.
We'll be right back, folks.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.