Name: Chris Elliott as Jay Leno + Followup on Letterman, June, October 1986
Uploaded: 2017-05-06T23:05:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott as Jay Leno + Followup on Letterman, June, October 1986' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott as Jay Leno + Followup on Letterman, June, October 1986' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-06. Transcript available.

I understand you have a book out. How are the sales going?
I don't know. The sales on that one are doing okay, I guess.
We have some other ones, though, that are much better.
This one is doing very well.
This is the Moomin' Chance exercise book.
Yeah.
See that right over there?
And then right over here, this is Cooking, the cookbook.
Moomin' Chance cookbook.
It's the cookbook, sure.
And then this one, we're really happy with hunting with Moomin' Chance.
That looks like that would be fun.
It's great fun.
Out there on a boat in the open.
Sure.
Now, Chris, every time you're on the show, I know there's something eating at
you,
something under your skin, something chewing at you.
What's our beef?
Yeah, that's right.
What's bugging Moomin' Chance?
Yeah, what...
Yeah.
Oh, I got a beef here.
We've got a beef.
It's this new Burger King commercial.
Oh, we heard this new Burger King commercial.
What is this?
We're a Burger King town.
Now, what kind of selective process is going on here?
Well, yes, Mr. Mayor, we'd like to put up a Burger King in your town, but I'm
afraid
you have too many pimple-faced, pinhead adolescents.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Right, guys?
Yeah.
Okay.
Now, you're going to be at the Helen Hayes, right?
We're at the Helen Hayes right now, then we're off to Zaney's.
Off to Zaney's, yeah.
And then we'll be at Funny Bones for a while, and then we're at Mimo's.
Mimo's.
Well, that sounds like a lot of fun, and as always...
Yeah, we're in there.
We're punching away.
Sure you are.
And terrific job.
Very imaginative.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Nice to see you.
Very nice job.
Thank you very much.
Helmut.
Nice to see you.
Ingrid.
Ingrid Chond, I'm sure.
We'll be right back after this commercial.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
While you were at home there watching stupid, pointless, boring commercials, we
were here
listening to the band having drinks and enjoying hostesses.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
While you were at home there watching stupid, pointless, boring commercials, we
were here
listening to the band having drinks and enjoying hostesses.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
While you were at home there watching stupid, pointless, boring commercials, we
were here
listening to the band having drinks and enjoying hostesses.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
While you were at home there watching stupid, pointless, boring commercials, we
were here
listening to the band having drinks and enjoying hostesses.
Coming up later on tonight's program, Phil Collins will be here and also a very
funny man.
Comedian Jeff Altman will be joining us Monday.
Listen to this line-up.
If you want to watch this show, we'll be right back after this show.
We'll be right back after this show.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
While you were at home there watching stupid, pointless, boring commercials, we
were
here listening to the band having drinks and enjoying hostesses.
Coming up later on tonight's program, Phil Collins will be here.
And also a very funny man, comedian Jeff Altman will be joining us Monday.
Now listen to this line-up if you can.
Ava Gabor, John Cleese, and comedian Elaine Buesler.
That's Ava Gabor, John Cleese, now playing shortstop, and comedian Elaine Buesler.
That will be Monday evening.
Of course, we're off tomorrow night.
Then we're off Saturday night.
We're off on Sunday night.
We spend most of the day worshipping on Sunday.
And then Monday we're back here doing shows for you.
My next guest tonight is easily one of the funniest men in America.
He has television deals, commercial contracts, and concert dates all over the
world.
Next month, he will be at the Universal Amphitheater in Los Angeles, California
for two weeks.
Please welcome Mr. Comedy, Chris Elliott.
Chris, come on out.
Good to see you, Chris.
Good to meet you, David.
Hi.
Good to see you, Chris.
Good to meet you, David.
Yeah, you look great.
Well, actually I'm a little tired to be honest with you.
You know, it's these 24-hour banking machines.
Now, have we seen these?
Have we seen these?
Have we seen these?
No, I'm all for progress.
I'm all for progress.
Honey, it's 4:00 a.m. in the morning.
Time to go to sleep.
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
I have to go down to the bank and make sure the check for the dry cleaner is
clean.
See, I didn't realize they were a problem.
I thought they were actually quite convenient.
Oh, they're a big problem, Dave.
Big problem.
Uh-huh.
Now, you know, Chris, it seems to me that you're a problem.
You know, you're a problem.
You know, you're a problem.
You're a problem.
You're a problem.
You're a problem.
You're a problem.
You're a problem.
You're a problem.
Well, actually, I'm a little tired, to be honest with you.
No, uh...
You know, it's these 24-hour banking machines.
Now, have we seen these?
Have we seen these?
Have we seen these?
Now, I'm all for progress.
I'm all for progress.
I'm all for progress.
Big problem, Dave.
Big problem.
Uh-huh.
Now, you know, Chris, it seems to me that you're changing your style a little
bit.
It looks like you're doing a little bit more like, you know, Jay Leno might be
doing comedy.
I think that's probably just your imagination.
Uh-huh.
So, I brought the TV guide with me.
Uh-huh.
No evil twins this week.
But take a look at these mind-teethers in the crossword puzzles over here.
Yeah.
Now, look at this.
This is 48 across.
It's a TV show.
Four letters.
Miami blank.
Ooh, I don't know.
Florida?
Morons!
Yeah.
That was good.
They're morons!
Morons, yeah.
But, uh, now, that was good.
That was a little more like Leno, that moron thing.
That was close.
Dave, I'm not doing Jay Leno.
Yeah.
So, uh, anything else bothering you tonight, Jay?
Uh, Chris?
You mean what's my beef?
Yeah, what's your...
What's fucking me?
Well, I've got a beef.
Now, here's something.
Now, this is something.
Now, have you seen this...
Now, have you seen this new McDonald's, Chicken McNuggets, Shanghai?
Now, what is going on?
What is this?
What is this?
What is this?
Is this...
Is this Oriental fair?
I mean, does this go back to the Ming Dynasty, Dave?
See, that wasn't really quite on the money, because Jay's voice is more of a
baritone.
It's more of a booming kind of voice, you know?
Dave, I'm not doing Jay Leno.
I'll tell you what we can do.
I'll tell you what we can do.
Hal, do we have a clip of, uh, Jay Leno doing, uh, What's My Beef?
Let's take a look at that, and I think you'll see.
Dave, Dave, this is really embarrassing.
No, no, no.
You don't need to show this.
This will explain the whole thing.
Hal, go ahead and roll the clip, and it'll be a help here for Chris.
Jay Leno doing, uh, What's My Beef?
What are you angry about?
You always have, uh...
What's my beef?
Yeah, what is this?
I have a beef every time I come on this show.
There, see?
I had a big fight with the phone company the other day.
I hate dealing with the phone company.
They act like your parents, don't they?
You break your phone, they try to teach you a lesson by making you stay in one
day next week.
You know?
You broke your phone, you're grounded Wednesday.
Between 9:00 and 5:00.
No, I do not know what time we'll be there, young man.
You just sit and wait.
See, he has a much, a much deeper voice.
His voice is much deeper.
Go ahead, try it again.
Try it again.
No, I don't think so.
You've kind of ruined the illusion I was trying to create.
No, no, no, it'll be great.
Try it again.
I worked on this impersonation for six months.
This chin cost me 800 bucks out of my own pocket, pal.
Yeah.
How many men did it take to put it in place?
Three.
Why don't you try another impression like Howard Cosell or Richard Nixon or
something?
They're all taken.
Yeah.
Well, that's too bad.
Now, you're going to be at the amphitheater for two weeks, right?
Yeah, but before that, I've got some other engagements right over here.
Let me take a look at it.
I'm going to be at the Laugh Belly in Utah for a while.
And then I'm at the Comedy Cavern in Vermont.
And then I'm down in Orlando, Florida.
Right.
That's near your neck of the woods.
Down there.
Busted the guts.
Busted the guts?
Busted guts.
Okay, great.
Well, good luck and continued success.
I'm over.
Yeah, you're done.
I was highly unorthodox.
I know it is.
Chris Elliott, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, David.
Nice job, Chris.
We'll, uh...
What are we doing?
We'll pause here for the commercial.
Thank you, David.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
November 1st, 11:30 here on NBC.
Right.
Right here.
Right here.
What's bothering you these days?
What's eating me?
Well, actually, David, you know, I was watching your show a number of weeks ago.
I find that hard to believe.
And I saw...
Yes, no, I was.
I saw a young fellow on your staff here.
The blonde-haired...
Oh, Chris Elliott.
Oh, Chris Elliott.
He was watching your show a number of weeks ago.
I find that hard to believe.
And I saw...
Yes, no, I was.
I saw a young fellow on your staff here.
The blonde-haired...
Oh, Chris Elliott.
Oh, Chris Elliott.
Oh, Chris Elliott.
Very funny young man.
Very funny young man.
Apparently, he was doing an impression of me.
That's right.
A couple of weeks ago, he did an impression of me.
This information campaign about me.
Do we have the...
There it is right there.
There's a picture of...
Oh, yeah.
That's Chris.
Made up of his room.
Yeah.
Of course, you know...
You know, this is a big part of the party here on NBC.
Right here.
Right here.
Right here.
What's bothering you these days?
What's eating me?
Yeah.
Well, actually, David, you know, I was watching your show a number of weeks ago.
I find that hard to believe.
And I saw...
Yes, no, I was.
I saw a young fellow on your staff here.
Of course, I laughed when I saw it.
Some friends of mine...
You know, sometimes people take these things a little too seriously.
Oh, sure, I can see.
Yeah.
I spoke with Chris earlier with somebody.
Let's bring him up.
Chris.
Chris, come on up.
Come on up.
Chris, who's back there?
Yeah.
Chris, why don't you tell us where I'm going to be in that humorous way of
yours?
Yes, Mr. Leno.
Right away.
Are you all right, Chris?
I'm fine.
He's fine.
I think he fell coming up the stairs.
Yeah, that's it.
Jay will be at the Seattle Washington Opera House in Seattle, Washington on the
15th.
And then at the Southwest Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri on
the 16th.
The Indiana Uni...
Yeah, right here.
This is pathetic.
Sorry.
Okay.
I think we'll get the last couple in there.
I think we're going to Lake Tahoe and the University of Michigan.
Lake Tahoe and then it stands out.
Oh, that's highly unorthodox, eh?
What is there?
Why?
What's my beef?
You can't get away with it.
You don't scare me, Jess.
So, things are going great for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kind of a funny kid, huh?
Yeah, nice kid.
Thanks for coming by.
Well, thank you.
Anytime, buddy.
All right.
Take care of yourself.
And we'll see you later.
Thank you.
Thank you.