Name: Charles Grodin on Letterman, January 23, 1985
Uploaded: 2017-05-30T04:11:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Charles Grodin on Letterman, January 23, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-30. Transcript available. Grodin's fourth Late Night appearance.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Charles Grodin on Letterman, January 23, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-30. Transcript available. Grodin's fourth Late Night appearance.

my first guest tonight is a very talented actor probably has a star of his own
on the walk of
fame he's also a writer and a director his latest film is called movers and shakers
and it will be
opening march 22nd we're always delighted to have him on the show please
welcome charles groden
hi charles how are you nice to see you again right over here
you know you are uh i don't know if i said this the last time you're on the
show but you're one
of my favorite actors i enjoy seeing you in anything you you i don't know
exactly how to
describe it but you always bring so much more to the role i think you're very
talented and i'm glad
you're here thank you very much now uh are you on the walk of fame out there in
california
i don't understand why uh tony martin and gene autry are down there a total of
eight times between the
two of them larry bud melman and and i and you for that matter are not on uh
even once between the
three of us see i think you could be on though you're a major motion picture
star they would be
happy to have you let's call that woman back oh oh i don't think so maybe
upstairs afterward i'll tell
you i'll tell you this this this actually happened i came i haven't been on it
on television for some
time because i've been working on very busy movers and shakers right yeah
directing it aren't you no
starring in it well with with a number of other people yes who else who's a
bigger star in this movie
than you walter mathau's in it and uh you're my kind of host walter mathau who
else well starring in the
picture vince cardinia tyne daly gilda radnor bill macy steve martin plays a
cameo uh penny marshall
plays a cameo it's a good cast but you're the star well thank you very much uh
now so what were you
going to say i was going to say that uh i was uh i haven't been out of the uh
the house actually too
much lately for reasons that that probably wouldn't be appropriate to go into
here let's hear it
well i hope it was an illness no i said no i look good and i feel good i just
haven't been i've been
really focusing a lot on this picture and and this is this is really uh fun
compared to some other
things and uh well now like what compared to what other things life well this
is life this isn't
really life this is uh usually coming on a talk show which i've been doing for
about 12 or 13 years
it's always the most stressful time i found in the past but uh today i realize
that it's the best time
for me compared to sitting in your room working on this film or whatever or
whatever yeah life itself
has there been something awful happened to you in the last few months is that
what
well it's no it's nice because there's lights and there's people and there's uh
it's just it's
it's a warm atmosphere you begin to appreciate it more when you're out there in
the cold uh
when you said that larry bud melman had brought a lot of joy in a sad world uh
that's true that's
true it is true and that's why the audience applauded when you said it and uh
and it's nice to be here
with you and larry budd and the uh and the audience and what i started to say
was that uh i was walking
through the uh the what do you call it the lobby the main floor to come in here
and there were a whole
lot of people lined up i guess to see this show and as i walked through uh what
do you mean you guess
they're not waiting to see live at five of course they're lined up was this
show yeah it was this
was this show yes the nightly news with tom broke on they don't have a studio
audience up there
i'm not as familiar with the uh what's going on here as you are but uh but as i
walked through the
lobby uh people began to applaud and that was a it was a very warm uh feeling
because when you
haven't been out that much it felt great and i turned around to smile and they
weren't
applauding me there was there was a duck in a tuxedo walking by and they were
applauding the duck
but but but for the moment that i thought they were applauding me it was a
lovely lovely moment yeah
where do you where do you suppose the duck was going i don't know i don't know
where i'm going so
i don't know where now or like what you did you tell a joke it doesn't work you
apologize and you
know so so perhaps we should all come out here and apologize up front for
anything that's not funny
and then uh we're clear yeah well we if we start doing that we got our hands
full you know it's an
all-day job um let me talk about the the academy award nominations are they in
are you you're eligible
for an academy award this year i'm eligible yeah for a lady in red woman in
woman in red and uh what
do you think how many how many nominations have you had in your career academy
award nominations
uh none uh but you you could have been uh could have been heaven can wait yeah
probably should have
had one there what about the heartbreak kid i could have been that was a great
movie a great part yeah
well uh you know you don't really think about these things until people start
to say like larry budd
i don't think uh two weeks ago was thinking about having his name on the hollywood
walk of fame
now you've put this into his head and if he doesn't get it it's going to be an
upsetting thing well
that's it's the same thing with the academy awards uh well you don't wake up in
the morning and wonder
if you're going to be nominated for an academy award but when people talk about
you for it as they
did with the heartbreak kid or having to wait for a couple of things a couple
of the others i talked
about myself for uh uh and it doesn't happen then you feel the uh the so so now
it's uh the woman in red
and you don't it's like mel brooke said you uh hope for the best expect the
worst yeah but you
you think you have a better chance with this one this time no no no now is this
going to bother you
if it doesn't come to pass it might yeah it might now it never has in the past
but you know when you
have they ever asked you to host the academy awards
have they no they don't but if people have been talking about why isn't david
letterman hosting
the academy awards why why isn't this man hosting it why is it always johnny
carson then you start
then suddenly and you're not asked then you suddenly say yeah a lot of people
felt i should have been
hosting yeah well that's the same thing with the academy awards you get a
little you can get a little
you get to start to think wait a minute people are saying this guy should be
nominated for this or for
that or for this and then you start to think about it i don't know if you get pouty
did you say pouty
pouty i said pouty yeah i hope that that i don't get pouty uh petulant oh petulant
maybe a little
petulant you know no i i take it all in good spirit but i hope but uh it would
be nice you know it would be
great do you ever do you ever as a kid play sports they do a pickup game and
there's like 10 guys standing
and they'll say i'll take fred i'll take bill i'll take tom i'll take al i'll
take and you're
waiting for somebody to take dave you know and they don't quite get to dave
until the end yep well
that's what it's like you know if they finally get to dave you're very grateful
to be nominated or
picked for anything once they once the game exists is what i'm trying to say
well well i apologize i
hope you get a i hope you get a nomination that'll be really nice for you well
i appreciate that and
you you actually did get a nomination and i think won an emmy award yeah an emmy
award i heard my name
mentioned i think i was on one of the shows that's right i think you were
involved in one of them
yeah i was and that was that was quite thrilling and it's in and of itself as
they say on the trail
we were very grateful for your participation i was grateful to be uh
uh let me do a commercial and then we'll be back charles all right we'll be
right back
uh
all right charles let me uh let's see let's see now during during the
commercial break jerry mulligan
from your staff came over to me and he said very nice and that's why it's nice
to be here i can go
like a long period of time in life before anybody comes over me and whispers in
my ear very nice
that's the whole point of being on a show like this you keep you keep bringing
something up now
something has gone wrong hasn't it there's something wrong with your life look
and i started
doing this in around 1973 actually with johnny carson i said it then and i
still feel it now there's
nothing like being on a show like this they never there's there's no orchestra
in my apartment yeah
there's no audience and there's nobody saying very nice every 10 minutes it's
it's a tremendous
thing to be on a show now what about what about your friends and loved ones oh
my friends and loved
ones are great but you know they're not saying very nice very nice very nice
you know no but but
there are other forms of very nice like good to see you charles can you come
over and watch the
super bowl that's a another way of saying very nice i watched the super bowl
alone
well maybe that's not what i mean is that you need more love in the world you
need people to
tap you on the shoulder and say very nice i just did it to you actually coincidentally
during that
i said that joke about not too close to somebody on the hollywood walk and that
made you feel very
yeah i did i felt yeah yeah and it's true and it's true because i because you
feel it so it's just in
situations like this you just come up with the very nicest more in the
audiences we're all here to
like enjoy ourselves which is not always the case of where we are yeah right
anyway i just wanted to uh
say that uh now in other words what i'm trying to say is is that as time goes
by you appreciate warmth
and kindness more that's what i'm really trying to say yeah that's not funny no
but it's true but it's
deep now you know what i notice sometimes i'll travel around the country and i'll
find that at certain
parts of the country people are much friendlier than they may be here in new york
city because i'm not
that there's anything wrong with the the folks here in new york city uh but
they just for i guess
it's because it's a smaller community they and they have a little less less
stress and less pressure
on people and i find that very uh comforting that's right it's just like being
a small child again when
when everything is pretty much taken care of for you and ultimately comfort
gets to be one of the
the things it's mainly about you'll you start to find yeah i mean you're under
for example under lights
lights feel good lights feel good feels good to be under lights
um warming to be under lights is what i'm trying to say you're sleeping in the
park again aren't you
yeah that's that's the problem a little bit a little bit now uh charles let me
let me ask you a
a question about your craft by the way i love it when somebody refers to acting
as their craft sounds
like food services yeah uh what now what's your do you have any secrets for you've
succeeded and
sustained for a long period of time do you have any secrets of longevity people
might i was struck the
other day uh clayton moore who had played uh the lone ranger for his whole life
is now 70 years old that's
right and a couple of years ago they ruled that he had to give up the mask take
off the mask and give
it to an uh a younger man that the sponsor had chosen to wear the mask and clayton
moore quite
understandably was uh was upset sure by this and then about a week ago the
court overruled that decision
and clayton moore now can wear the mask and uh people identify with the concept
of wearing the mask because
we we'd all like to keep our masks and he said uh he said that he was never
going to take off that mask
as long as he lived that meant that wherever he he went i mean he was actually
wearing a pair of dark
wraparound sunglasses in the interim before they said he could he could wear
the mask and he's back into
that but that's tenacity that's that that's what i'm trying to say he has outlasted
adversity yes and
longevity is based on uh tenacity you have to hang in there and if they take
away your mask you know
appeal to a higher court that's right until they give you back your mask and
then you get it back
you put it on you don't take it off right that's one of the ways you stay in
and another way you stay
in is is recognizing uh well recognizing how hard show business really is too
too many young people
my daughter's now going into this don't realize that that it is a very
difficult thing it's it's it's a
profession of a very strong enthusiasms that are very short-lived so people can
say you're wonderful
you're wonderful and maybe not take your call two days later sure and if you
understand that it helps
i had my first job in show business i worked 16 hours a day and i paid 15 a
week to do that
this is true in 1955 what kind of job was it was an apprentice in an acting
company and i and i shared
a uh there were six cots in a garage and my my cot it was a mattress uh it it
you you would have thought
there was a dead rat in there and i complained so much uh that they took the
mattress apart and there
was a dead rat in there but it but it was show business it was show business
but what i'm trying
to say is that that's what it's really like for everybody people are
disappointed constantly and
it could happen at any time you could put in 40 years nothing happened the next
day boom well that's
that's true uh movers and shakers this will be released nationally i guess
march 22nd that's right
another fine charles groden film well it's the first one first movie i've
written and co-produced
and uh spent seven years actually uh trying to get it on and finally get it
wrong and good luck with
the uh nomination that'd be nice for you nice to see you thank you thank you
for being here
we'll be right back we'll control us here for station identification
you

Charles Grodin on Letterman, January 23, 1985

my first guest tonight is a very talented actor probably has a star of his own
on the walk of
fame he's also a writer and a director his latest film is called movers and shakers
and it will be
opening march 22nd we're always delighted to have him on the show please
welcome charles groden
hi charles how are you nice to see you again right over here
you know you are uh i don't know if i said this the last time you're on the
show but you're one
of my favorite actors i enjoy seeing you in anything you you i don't know
exactly how to
describe it but you always bring so much more to the role i think you're very
talented and i'm glad
you're here thank you very much now uh are you on the walk of fame out there in
california
i don't understand why uh tony martin and gene autry are down there a total of
eight times between the
two of them larry bud melman and and i and you for that matter are not on uh
even once between the
three of us see i think you could be on though you're a major motion picture
star they would be
happy to have you let's call that woman back oh oh i don't think so maybe
upstairs afterward i'll tell
you i'll tell you this this this actually happened i came i haven't been on it
on television for some
time because i've been working on very busy movers and shakers right yeah
directing it aren't you no
starring in it well with with a number of other people yes who else who's a
bigger star in this movie
than you walter mathau's in it and uh you're my kind of host walter mathau who
else well starring in the
picture vince cardinia tyne daly gilda radnor bill macy steve martin plays a
cameo uh penny marshall
plays a cameo it's a good cast but you're the star well thank you very much uh
now so what were you
going to say i was going to say that uh i was uh i haven't been out of the uh
the house actually too
much lately for reasons that that probably wouldn't be appropriate to go into
here let's hear it
well i hope it was an illness no i said no i look good and i feel good i just
haven't been i've been
really focusing a lot on this picture and and this is this is really uh fun
compared to some other
things and uh well now like what compared to what other things life well this
is life this isn't
really life this is uh usually coming on a talk show which i've been doing for
about 12 or 13 years
it's always the most stressful time i found in the past but uh today i realize
that it's the best time
for me compared to sitting in your room working on this film or whatever or
whatever yeah life itself
has there been something awful happened to you in the last few months is that
what
well it's no it's nice because there's lights and there's people and there's uh
it's just it's
it's a warm atmosphere you begin to appreciate it more when you're out there in
the cold uh
when you said that larry bud melman had brought a lot of joy in a sad world uh
that's true that's
true it is true and that's why the audience applauded when you said it and uh
and it's nice to be here
with you and larry budd and the uh and the audience and what i started to say
was that uh i was walking
through the uh the what do you call it the lobby the main floor to come in here
and there were a whole
lot of people lined up i guess to see this show and as i walked through uh what
do you mean you guess
they're not waiting to see live at five of course they're lined up was this
show yeah it was this
was this show yes the nightly news with tom broke on they don't have a studio
audience up there
i'm not as familiar with the uh what's going on here as you are but uh but as i
walked through the
lobby uh people began to applaud and that was a it was a very warm uh feeling
because when you
haven't been out that much it felt great and i turned around to smile and they
weren't
applauding me there was there was a duck in a tuxedo walking by and they were
applauding the duck
but but but for the moment that i thought they were applauding me it was a
lovely lovely moment yeah
where do you where do you suppose the duck was going i don't know i don't know
where i'm going so
i don't know where now or like what you did you tell a joke it doesn't work you
apologize and you
know so so perhaps we should all come out here and apologize up front for
anything that's not funny
and then uh we're clear yeah well we if we start doing that we got our hands
full you know it's an
all-day job um let me talk about the the academy award nominations are they in
are you you're eligible
for an academy award this year i'm eligible yeah for a lady in red woman in
woman in red and uh what
do you think how many how many nominations have you had in your career academy
award nominations
uh none uh but you you could have been uh could have been heaven can wait yeah
probably should have
had one there what about the heartbreak kid i could have been that was a great
movie a great part yeah
well uh you know you don't really think about these things until people start
to say like larry budd
i don't think uh two weeks ago was thinking about having his name on the hollywood
walk of fame
now you've put this into his head and if he doesn't get it it's going to be an
upsetting thing well
that's it's the same thing with the academy awards uh well you don't wake up in
the morning and wonder
if you're going to be nominated for an academy award but when people talk about
you for it as they
did with the heartbreak kid or having to wait for a couple of things a couple
of the others i talked
about myself for uh uh and it doesn't happen then you feel the uh the so so now
it's uh the woman in red
and you don't it's like mel brooke said you uh hope for the best expect the
worst yeah but you
you think you have a better chance with this one this time no no no now is this
going to bother you
if it doesn't come to pass it might yeah it might now it never has in the past
but you know when you
have they ever asked you to host the academy awards
have they no they don't but if people have been talking about why isn't david
letterman hosting
the academy awards why why isn't this man hosting it why is it always johnny
carson then you start
then suddenly and you're not asked then you suddenly say yeah a lot of people
felt i should have been
hosting yeah well that's the same thing with the academy awards you get a
little you can get a little
you get to start to think wait a minute people are saying this guy should be
nominated for this or for
that or for this and then you start to think about it i don't know if you get pouty
did you say pouty
pouty i said pouty yeah i hope that that i don't get pouty uh petulant oh petulant
maybe a little
petulant you know no i i take it all in good spirit but i hope but uh it would
be nice you know it would be
great do you ever do you ever as a kid play sports they do a pickup game and
there's like 10 guys standing
and they'll say i'll take fred i'll take bill i'll take tom i'll take al i'll
take and you're
waiting for somebody to take dave you know and they don't quite get to dave
until the end yep well
that's what it's like you know if they finally get to dave you're very grateful
to be nominated or
picked for anything once they once the game exists is what i'm trying to say
well well i apologize i
hope you get a i hope you get a nomination that'll be really nice for you well
i appreciate that and
you you actually did get a nomination and i think won an emmy award yeah an emmy
award i heard my name
mentioned i think i was on one of the shows that's right i think you were
involved in one of them
yeah i was and that was that was quite thrilling and it's in and of itself as
they say on the trail
we were very grateful for your participation i was grateful to be uh
uh let me do a commercial and then we'll be back charles all right we'll be
right back
uh
all right charles let me uh let's see let's see now during during the
commercial break jerry mulligan
from your staff came over to me and he said very nice and that's why it's nice
to be here i can go
like a long period of time in life before anybody comes over me and whispers in
my ear very nice
that's the whole point of being on a show like this you keep you keep bringing
something up now
something has gone wrong hasn't it there's something wrong with your life look
and i started
doing this in around 1973 actually with johnny carson i said it then and i
still feel it now there's
nothing like being on a show like this they never there's there's no orchestra
in my apartment yeah
there's no audience and there's nobody saying very nice every 10 minutes it's
it's a tremendous
thing to be on a show now what about what about your friends and loved ones oh
my friends and loved
ones are great but you know they're not saying very nice very nice very nice
you know no but but
there are other forms of very nice like good to see you charles can you come
over and watch the
super bowl that's a another way of saying very nice i watched the super bowl
alone
well maybe that's not what i mean is that you need more love in the world you
need people to
tap you on the shoulder and say very nice i just did it to you actually coincidentally
during that
i said that joke about not too close to somebody on the hollywood walk and that
made you feel very
yeah i did i felt yeah yeah and it's true and it's true because i because you
feel it so it's just in
situations like this you just come up with the very nicest more in the
audiences we're all here to
like enjoy ourselves which is not always the case of where we are yeah right
anyway i just wanted to uh
say that uh now in other words what i'm trying to say is is that as time goes
by you appreciate warmth
and kindness more that's what i'm really trying to say yeah that's not funny no
but it's true but it's
deep now you know what i notice sometimes i'll travel around the country and i'll
find that at certain
parts of the country people are much friendlier than they may be here in new york
city because i'm not
that there's anything wrong with the the folks here in new york city uh but
they just for i guess
it's because it's a smaller community they and they have a little less less
stress and less pressure
on people and i find that very uh comforting that's right it's just like being
a small child again when
when everything is pretty much taken care of for you and ultimately comfort
gets to be one of the
the things it's mainly about you'll you start to find yeah i mean you're under
for example under lights
lights feel good lights feel good feels good to be under lights
um warming to be under lights is what i'm trying to say you're sleeping in the
park again aren't you
yeah that's that's the problem a little bit a little bit now uh charles let me
let me ask you a
a question about your craft by the way i love it when somebody refers to acting
as their craft sounds
like food services yeah uh what now what's your do you have any secrets for you've
succeeded and
sustained for a long period of time do you have any secrets of longevity people
might i was struck the
other day uh clayton moore who had played uh the lone ranger for his whole life
is now 70 years old that's
right and a couple of years ago they ruled that he had to give up the mask take
off the mask and give
it to an uh a younger man that the sponsor had chosen to wear the mask and clayton
moore quite
understandably was uh was upset sure by this and then about a week ago the
court overruled that decision
and clayton moore now can wear the mask and uh people identify with the concept
of wearing the mask because
we we'd all like to keep our masks and he said uh he said that he was never
going to take off that mask
as long as he lived that meant that wherever he he went i mean he was actually
wearing a pair of dark
wraparound sunglasses in the interim before they said he could he could wear
the mask and he's back into
that but that's tenacity that's that that's what i'm trying to say he has outlasted
adversity yes and
longevity is based 