Name: Who Asked For Its on Letterman, 12/23/86 to 6/11/87
Uploaded: 2017-06-09T18:49:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Who Asked For Its on Letterman, 12/23/86 to 6/11/87' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Who Asked For Its on Letterman, 12/23/86 to 6/11/87' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-09. Transcript available.

Who Asked For Its on Letterman, 12/23/86 to 6/11/87

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, because we're just two days away from Christmas,
we thought we'd turn the first segment of our show over to our wonderful studio
audience.
This is a little segment we call Who Asked For It?
People in the studio audience can stand up and request something that we can
provide for them
here on the massive stage of Studio 6A at Rockefeller Center.
So let's do that now.
Who is our first participant tonight?
How do you do, ma'am?
What is your name?
Hi, my name's Meg Crawford.
Meg, where are you from exactly?
I'm from Watertown, Massachusetts.
Oh, it's a lovely town.
I've been there.
What do you do for a living up there?
I work for the Humane Society there.
In what capacity?
Promotion, mostly.
We hand out little buttons to people who do nice things for animals.
Well, that's very nice of you.
And do you have a large family, Meg?
No, just myself, actually.
That's not really a family at all, is it?
Well, my parents.
Okay, Meg, what can we do for you tonight, Meg?
Anything you'd like.
Well, thanks.
Just about my favorite part of the Christmas time is seeing the movie It's a
Wonderful Life on television.
Sure, yeah.
Yeah.
Especially that last scene where they take up the big collection for Jimmy
Stewart.
Yeah.
And he says, it makes me feel like I'm just about the richest guy in the world.
Yeah.
That always makes me cry.
I was wondering if you could show a clip.
You know, that's an excellent suggestion, Meg.
You know, I tell you, I don't think we have that particular clip, but we do
have a clip that
around here is kind of a holiday tradition for all of us, and we'll share that
with you.
Hal, roll that special holiday clip and see if Meg from Watertown enjoys it as
much as we do.
Oh, there it is.
Yeah.
Remember that, Paul?
Yeah.
Okay, that's plenty there.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay, Meg.
Nice to see you, Meg.
Meg.
All right, yes, sir.
How do you do?
What can I do for you, sir?
What is your name?
My name is John Tuttle.
John who?
John Tuttle.
All right, John.
Nice to have you with us.
What can I do for you tonight, John?
Well, my brother's in prison, and he watches you every night, so I was
wondering if I could
take this opportunity to just send him a Christmas message.
Oh, yeah.
Sure, absolutely.
That's a lovely idea.
Go right ahead, John.
Hey, Snake.
Santa will visit you on Christmas Eve.
His sleigh will land on your roof at 1 a.m. sharp.
Donna and Blitzen will take care of the Grinch in the tower.
Well, let's, uh...
Well, let's...
That's an unusual...
Uh, that's kind of an unusual Christmas message, isn't it?
Yeah, I guess so.
Hey, uh...
Mind your own business, hmm?
Okay.
All right.
Sure.
Be happy to.
What the hell?
Be happy to.
Stop it.
Okay.
We got a big show.
We got to keep rolling.
Yes, sir?
What can I do for you, sir?
What's your name?
Uh, Bruce Reinhold.
Bruce, nice to see you.
Where are you from, sir?
Uh, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Uh-huh.
What can I do for you tonight, Bruce?
Uh, is there something we can do about this guy who keeps waving at the camera?
That's interesting.
You know, I saw that guy when I first came out, and actually, it's kind of
bothering me, too.
Let me take care of that for you, Bruce.
Can we get a page?
Oh, there you go.
Timmy.
Timmy, can you come down and do something about this man who keeps waving?
It's an NBC page there.
Timmy, can you come down and do something about this man that he has to do with
this man who keeps waving at the camera?
Yeah, the spirits seem to have been brightened by that holiday violence there.
Uh, yes, ma'am, what can I do for you tonight?
Hi, um, I'd like to know what you're doing to promote the Christmas spirit here
at NBC.
Oh, uh, good question.
Uh, I tell you what, why don't we just, uh, go ahead and ask the man in charge.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome NBC's president and chief executive
officer, Mr. Robert C. Wright.
Bob, come on out here.
Nice to see you, Bob.
How are you?
Uh, Bob, I'm sure that NBC is doing its usual great job of spreading the
Christmas spirit again this year.
You bet, Tom.
In fact, we've even got a new slogan.
You can't spell season's greetings without G-E.
Oh, that's great.
Can't spell season's greetings without G-E.
Um, I thought that up myself, Tom.
Clever, huh?
Very clever.
And I suppose that we are continuing with the very worthy NBC Christmas carols
program
where we go caroling for shut-ins in the Tri-State area and parts of
Pennsylvania?
Nah, we dumped that.
Uh-huh.
It was costing a bundle.
We replaced it with a brand new program, Bulbs for Babes.
Bulbs for Babes.
Yes.
Dozens of lucky children will find a special surprise under the tree Christmas
morning.
Uh-huh.
A shiny new General Electric light bulb.
That's very nice.
What do you want for Christmas, sweetheart?
Oh, I'd always, oh, I'd want a G.
And a 150-watt light bulb.
Boy, oh, boy.
Well, that makes it all worthwhile.
Merry Christmas, folks.
Thank you very much, Bob.
Nice to see you.
Bye-bye.
Thank you very much.
Bulbs for Babes.
It's the Bulbs for Babes program, Paul.
Who's next?
Do we have anybody?
Yes, sir.
Oh, a medical man in the audience tonight.
Yes, sir.
What is your name, please?
Hi, Dave.
Hi.
Dr. Morton Roberts.
Dr. Morton Roberts.
Nice to have you here, sir.
Thank you.
Nice to be here.
You work at a hospital in the...
Yes, I do.
Uh-huh.
You're just on a break?
What's that?
You're just on a break?
No, actually.
We're in the middle of something.
Oh, okay.
That's what I wanted to ask you.
If you were performing a coronary bypass...
Yeah.
...and all of a sudden there was bleeding all over the place,
what's the first thing you'd do?
Ooh, uh, just violent hemorrhaging, you mean?
Violent, yeah.
Um, I think I'd clamp off an aorta.
Yeah, great.
Get that thing clamped off.
Thank you.
That's great.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
See you, guys.
Pay up, pay up.
Told you, I told you.
Pay up.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Yes, get it clamped off.
Okay, we'll, uh, we'll pause here.
We've got to do a commercial.
We'll be back with Chevy Chase.
Uh, you know, he's got a...
Oh, boy.
I feel like my head wants a bus open.
Uh, you know, this show, I don't know of any other television show anywhere
quite like this one.
Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to turn over eight, ten minutes of
our airtime
and have members of our studio audience stand up and request custom-made things
they would like to see on our television program.
It's called Who Asked For It?
And here's an eager young man working his way down to the microphone now.
Yes, sir, how do you do?
Nice to see you.
What's your name?
Jason Watts.
Jason, where are you from, sir?
Uh, Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania.
Oh, that's a lovely part of the country.
What do you do for a living out there?
Um, I'm a student.
Student?
Where do you go to school?
Harrisburg Community College.
Yeah, and what are you studying there?
Uh, just liberal arts.
Liberal arts?
Yeah.
And what do you hope to do with that degree?
I, I really don't know yet.
I'm still thinking about it.
Come from a big family?
Yeah.
Brothers and sisters?
Five brothers, yeah.
I've, uh, I've come here to see the show a couple of times, but, uh, something
always
ends up spoiling it for me.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
And, uh, tonight this jerk keeps waving at the camera.
I was wondering if he could do something about it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That is, that actually, that's fairly distracting.
I can see where that would be a burden to you, sir.
Excuse me.
Do we have any pages up there?
Yeah, can you guys come down and take care of this fellow who's doing the
waving?
Yeah, it's right here in the second row.
Yeah, that guy.
Okay, that's fine.
All right.
Thank you very much.
Thanks, boys.
Thank you.
I hope you enjoy the show now, Jason.
Thank you very much.
That one page looked kind of old, didn't he?
Yeah.
I thought there was a certain cutoff age for pages here.
I always thought there was, actually.
A page, like, in his 40s or something up there.
How long have you been a page, by the way, sir?
I just broke in, sir.
Okay.
Well, why don't you break out, okay?
He just broke in.
I just broke in, sir.
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
What can I do for you, please?
What is your name?
My name is Dan Grogan.
Dan, nice to have you here.
What do you do for a living?
I run a convenience store in Neptune, New Jersey.
Convenience store?
Yes, sir.
Is that one of those 24-hour deals?
Yes, sir.
You get held up a lot, do you?
No, it hasn't been too bad this year.
And you sell lottery tickets, that kind of thing?
Yes, we do.
What's the most popular item that you sell there?
I would say it's Milky Way bars.
I guess so.
I, you know, I didn't really think of that.
All right, what can we do for you tonight?
I have an idea to improve your show.
Uh-huh.
Uh, why don't you try guest hosts?
Oh, geez, that's, you know, that's interesting.
Guest hosts, you know, uh, I appreciate the suggestion, but I really enjoy
doing, uh, all
of these shows myself.
And, um, it's funny that you mention it, though, because tonight, right tonight,
this
very night, we're starting something brand new.
We're having celebrity guest stars sit in for various audience members.
Boys, bring him down if you can.
This will be kind of exciting.
Get him out of here and bring in the celebrity guest star for tonight's, uh,
audience replacement.
All right, there we go.
Let's get him out of there and just.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Tony Randall and that page seem to be about the same age.
Did you notice that?
Uh, yes, sir, what's your name, please?
What can you do for it?
My name is, uh, Jack Shane.
Jack, nice to have you here.
What part of the country do you live in?
Uh, Corning, New York.
Oh, that's beautiful up there, too, upstate New York.
What do you do for a living up there?
Uh, disc jockey.
You're a disc jockey at where?
A radio station?
Uh, yeah, WCBA.
Okay, what can we do for you tonight, sir?
Well, I've, uh, I've, uh, always wondered what would happen if you pointed two
of these TV
cameras directly at each other.
Yeah.
Gee, I don't know.
We've, we've never really done that on purpose.
Uh, so, uh, there may be some kind of, like, uh, feedback or something.
Some kind of...
Yeah, that's what, yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Yeah.
Well, how can we try that?
It would turn a couple of these cameras around, like one and three here, and
point them at
each other?
Okay, one and three.
Okay, that's our director, Hal Gertner, and, uh, just turn them around, and, uh,
there
they go, and so far, nothing, now, they're looking, uh-oh, head on, okay.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, something, uh, gee, what, what is going on here?
What, what the...
Hi, Dave.
Oh, my gosh.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's the ghost of Hall of Famer Stan Musial.
Uh, Stan, what, what brings you here tonight?
By pointing those two cameras at each other, you've somehow summoned me from
beyond the reaches
of time and space.
Yeah.
Uh, uh, Stan, uh, correct me if, if, uh, if I'm wrong here, but aren't you
still alive?
Yeah, pretty mysterious, huh, Dave?
But there's no mystery about the best family-style restaurant in St. Louis.
At Stan Musial's, you get chicken and ribs cooked to perfection at a price that'll
score
a home run.
Uh-huh.
And on Saturday and Sunday afternoon...
Hal, separate the cameras.
Hal, pull them apart.
Separate them, Hal.
Okay, fine, Stan.
Thank you very much.
And how fun...
Stan Musial, ladies and gentlemen, Hall of Famer.
Anybody else?
Oh, how do you do, ma'am?
Nice to see you.
What can I do for you?
What is your name, please?
Susan Donahue.
Susan, nice to have you here.
And, uh, what do you do for a living?
I go to the University of Wisconsin.
Oh, I've been there.
In Madison, right?
Yes, Madison.
Yeah, well, what are you studying there?
Forestry.
Forestry?
Forestry.
All right.
And what is your question for us tonight?
Well, I'd like to know what you and your show are doing about the environment,
especially
the protection of endangered species.
Good point.
Good point.
And I'm sad to say we're pr