Name: Ila Loetscher (Turtle Lady) on Letterman, November 6, 1985
Uploaded: 2017-06-18T21:56:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ila Loetscher (Turtle Lady) on Letterman, November 6, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ila Loetscher (Turtle Lady) on Letterman, November 6, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-18. Transcript available.

Okay, welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.
Coming up in this half hour,
Buddy Bianca Lana will be here
and also this interesting woman from Texas
with her interesting hobby
and her interesting, actually, their turtles.
What is this, by the way?
Does this have something to do with the turtles?
It's a what? It's a turtle what?
It's a turtle bath.
Oh, we're gonna bathe the turtle?
Won't we need something to pry that shell off?
It's a joke. It's a joke.
Um, tomorrow on the show,
oh, Paul, guess who's gonna be back here tomorrow night?
Who's gonna be here?
Princess Gloria will be back.
Oh, she loves to rock and roll, that princess.
Yeah, she does.
She's from Germany and she's married to an unbelievably wealthy man
and she's a, uh, well, the most interesting princess we've had on the show.
Uh, it's time for our top ten list.
Uh, by the way, if you'd like a copy of these,
simply write the home office in Milwaukee.
Uh, tonight's category,
Top Ten Mammal Classifications or Recreational Vehicles.
Here we go.
Number ten, Carnivora.
Number nine, Lagomorpha.
Number eight, Cherokee Land Cruiser.
Number seven, Rodentia.
Number six, Bronco II with extended cab.
Number five, Winnebago Trailmaster.
Four, Primates.
Three, Marsupiala.
Two, Alumilite Sport Coach.
Number one, Insectivora Airstream Excello.
Oh, my next guest is a, uh, excuse me one moment.
My next guest is a fascinating woman.
She is, uh, 81 years of age.
She comes to us from South Padre Island.
Do you know where that is, Paul?
It's in the, uh, Amalusian Islands.
That's right.
Uh, and it's also in the sister city in Texas, where she is known as the Turtle
Lady.
Please welcome, Isla Letcher.
Hi, Isla.
I don't want, no.
Let me take your hand.
Come on over here.
Come on over.
Come on over here.
Oh, my gosh.
No, I don't want it.
No, you don't want it.
No, I don't want it.
No, what kind of turtle is that, Isla?
I want to see you.
All right.
This is an Atlantic Green, and its name is Jerry.
It can meet the beast.
It's Jerry, it's Jerry the Turtle Kids.
Uh-huh.
It can get me to be 600 pounds.
This will grow to be 600 pounds?
Uh-huh.
And what do they eat to get that big?
Well, everything I give it.
Yeah, I suppose so.
Uh, and, and how old will Jerry get to be?
Jerry can get to be 136 years old.
No kidding.
And how old is Jerry now?
One year.
Oh, my gosh.
Does this guy have trouble ahead of him?
Um.
You see, I named him Jerry.
Uh-huh.
Because we always name it after the person that brings the turtle to us.
I see.
And that was Jerry.
Uh-huh.
And, uh.
That's an interesting formula you have worked out there.
I mean, you can't sex them until they're 15 years old.
They can't be sexed until they're 15?
15 years old.
I think that's a good law.
It works.
Uh, now, uh, Isla, before we talk, is this animal all right?
I mean, he has kind of a, uh, a dazed look.
Well.
On the other hand, I don't think I've ever seen an alert turtle.
I think he's surprised.
Yeah.
I know.
He's all right.
He's fine.
Well, you almost kissed it.
You want...
Uh, now, you actually, you are a fascinating individual aside from your, uh,
turtle activities.
You, uh, were an aviatrix.
You were the first woman licensed pilot in the state of Illinois.
Iowa.
And Iowa.
What year was that?
That was 29.
1929.
1929.
You, you...
Do you still, do you still fly?
No, I do not fly anymore.
And one of your contemporaries was Amelia Earhart.
That's right.
You, you were in, uh, an organization, the, uh, what was it called?
99.
The 99.
Did you know Amelia Earhart?
Yes, I knew Amelia Earhart.
Oh, okay.
And there were 99 of us that were flying in the United States then, and she
organized us.
Yeah.
All right.
Into a club.
Now, we're going to take a look at some more of your turtles, aren't we?
Okay.
Well, let's first...
Okay.
Take that off.
I'm going to do...
We'll do a commercial here while you get Jerry ready there.
Oh, don't you want to see it?
Of course we want to see it.
But, but we'll, uh, we'll do a commercial and then we'll be right back.
This, this would make a great doorstop, wouldn't it, this thing here?
Well, that's a beautiful animal.
We'll be right back.
Okay, you're going to, you're going to show, uh, what are you going to show us
with Jerry
there?
Well, I'm going to show you how beautiful he is when he skinny dips.
All right.
Okay.
Isn't he beautiful?
He's a lovely, uh, lovely animal.
A lovely little animal.
How did you get started, uh, collecting these?
Uh, because all sea turtles are endangered.
Uh-huh.
Are they being hunted or they're just dying off?
No, they are being, uh, they're, natives are cutting off the skin for making
boots.
Oh, I see.
And then they also take their eggs and eat the eggs.
Yeah.
Are they being protected by any kind of, uh, law?
Yes, right now they definitely are.
Okay.
All sea turtles are on the endangered list.
So you've been, you've been protecting them for how many years?
When was your first one?
For 24 years.
You keep them there at your house?
Yes.
How many do you have?
I have 17 at my home.
Do they make good to companions?
Wonderful companions.
Yes.
Are they noisy?
No.
Don't, don't keep you up at night?
No, they never talk back.
Yeah.
Do they ever run off?
No, they can't.
Because they're in water all the time.
Oh, well, sure.
You see, they're sea turtles.
They're sea turtles.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
Now, uh, uh, uh, now what else, what else can you, I understand you've taught
the animal
to do tricks, right?
Yeah, okay.
Now, this, is this a, this is a mammal, isn't it?
That's what it is, sure.
No, it's a reptile.
It's a reptile.
You're right.
Now, you want to show him, you see, all little children love to play, and so do
sea turtles.
Well, sure.
That would only figure.
And he told me, okay, let's show Jerry the game you taught me to play.
Okay, let's go.
I don't know if you can see it, but the smile on this turtle's face.
He's smiling from ear to ear there.
Now, how do, actually, he doesn't have ears, does he?
Yes, he does.
Oh, he does have them.
His ears are right under here.
And you see the little bump back here?
It's shaped exactly as your ear is.
And they have a very wonderful sense of burying.
But it's under a membrane, isn't it?
It's under a membrane to keep the water out.
What other tricks do you and Jerry work out?
Okay, little Jerry.
You want to show him all about polyburgan?
You know, polyburgan?
You're going to learn all about polyburgan.
Well, she is noted for making more people in the world beautiful than any other
cosmetic company.
Okay.
And that's because she puts turtle oil...
Turtle oil.
...in her product.
Okay.
Come on.
You're going to give Mommy a...
This little girl has turtle oil all underneath here, and she can give me a polyburgan.
Okay.
Come on.
Let's give Mommy a polyburgan.
Oh, that feels so good.
Oh, that feels so good.
Oh, that feels so good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
And how long did it train you to... did it take you to train that animal to do
that?
I've only had this turtle for two weeks.
Oh, two weeks.
Well, he's coming right along, isn't he?
Yeah, he is.
And now, Isla, you have another turtle we're going to take a look at?
Yes.
Okay.
Why don't you put that... put Jerry down there.
And who... what...
Here he comes.
Here he comes.
All right.
Nice to see you.
What is your name?
I'm Evelyn Sizemore.
Evelyn Sizemore.
Nice to meet you.
You have a broken arm there.
No, not really.
Turtle Olympics, you know.
Oh, a turtle mishap?
No.
Oh.
I hope it heals up soon.
Thank you.
Okay.
Nice seeing you.
Good to see you.
Okay.
Bye.
All right.
Now, what do you have...
What?
Wow.
Poncho.
So they really love to be dressed up, don't they?
And he...
His name is Poncho Donizales.
Is this an Atlantic turtle also?
This is...
An Atlantic green?
No, he's subtropical.
He's a subtropical turtle.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And what...
How old is Poncho?
Poncho is three years old, and we'll...
He is a little...
Quiet now because he likes warmer weather.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
And do you have tricks that you do with the poncho there?
Yeah.
Poncho, you see, he was brought to me because he has one severed flipper.
Oh.
Yeah.
And then his bottom flippers were all chewed off, and he couldn't get any place
in the water,
so he just went around in circles.
Yeah.
So they brought him to me.
Boy, do I know that feeling.
Um...
Uh...
But he's all right now, isn't he?
Uh, we trained him to go in a straight line.
Uh...
We took the biggest shrimp we could find...
Followed the shrimp.
...and held it in front of him.
Oh, yeah.
And, uh, then he, um, found out...
He wanted that shrimp so badly...
Yeah, but he swam shrimp.
...that it only took him two weeks and five pounds of shrimp.
Yeah.
Well, you know, you're a fascinating woman, a delightful lady, and you're doing
an awfully
nice thing for the turtle population of this world.
Well, thank you.
Well, thank you for being here, Isla.
Nice meeting you.
We'll, uh, we'll be back with Buddy Bianco.
We'll be back with Buddy Bianco.