Name: Kevin Costner on Letterman April 14, 1989
Uploaded: 2017-06-23T05:20:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kevin Costner on Letterman April 14, 1989' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kevin Costner on Letterman April 14, 1989' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-23. Transcript available.

Welcome back to the program.
Big star. Our first guest, a big star.
Huge.
Kevin Costner.
There he is.
You can see him?
I can see him from here, yeah.
Kevin Costner and Exotic Poultry.
In fact, that's the only way he would do this show.
If we guaranteed, in our studio, Exotic Poultry.
This man has made strong impressions in such diverse films as Silverado, No Way
Out, and Bull Durham.
His new film, which opens next Friday, is called Field of Dreams.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Kevin Costner.
Hi, Kevin.
Pleasure to meet you. How are you?
Good.
Thanks for being here.
I love it.
What do you think?
Wow.
Pretty cool, huh?
You walk out and the place goes nuts.
Yeah.
What part of the country are you from?
I'm from Los Angeles.
Grew up there? Born and reared there?
I lived up and down the state, never got out of it, but I was born in Compton,
actually.
Compton is now a major, well, even when you were a kid, an urban area.
It's like next to Watts.
Yeah.
And what kind of kid were you?
I was in trouble most of the time.
Big trouble or just goofy kid trouble?
No, a little outlaw stuff, you know.
Really?
Yeah, where you had to kind of explain yourself.
Once in a while, your dad would bring you in and say,
I'm going to leave your mother outside and I'd like to talk with you.
Uh-huh.
That kind of stuff.
And what form would those talks take?
He would do the talking.
Uh-huh.
So, he just would always end up with saying,
I don't want to have this conversation again.
You know, so, okay.
Because your dad always is that big.
Were you ever fingerprinted?
Yeah, I was.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Uh, can you give us a hint what the area was?
Well, it was in my, these years, you know, so I was supposed to.
The formative years.
Yeah, I didn't call my dad to let him know what had happened,
so I had to explain it myself.
And?
Well.
What are you, about 16, 17 years old?
It was, it was kind of, it was, it was, uh, I found myself, uh, in jail.
Now, wait a minute.
You don't just find yourself in jail.
I was coming back from a place and I was in a tuxedo and I, I ended up going to
jail.
And I remember it was one of the, it was one of the proudest moments of my life
because I felt like I could survive.
And they threw me into this place with about 20 guys and I had a tuxedo on and
it was about three in the morning and I just, there was no room.
So I, I, I was laying on the cement floor.
Right.
And about halfway through a guy in the morning, a guy came in and, and said,
Larry, you're out.
And so Larry happened to be on this bench and he got up and about 10 guys
started to go for this high real estate.
Cause that cement was cold and I remember beating everybody to it and giving
them that look like this is my piece of real estate.
It was like in jail.
That bench was Park Avenue.
Were, were, were you, I just laid down and went to sleep.
And I remember when I woke up, I could hear voices going, I wonder what he did.
Cause I was in a tuxedo.
You're lucky somebody didn't try and steal your cummerbund because then that
could have fissed the cusp for sure.
Uh, but, but as kids go, it was, uh, I guess a minor infraction.
Things were, no, it was simple.
Were you, were you in high school and stuff, a real popular guy?
Were you, uh.
No, I, well, I, I went to four different high schools, so it was always.
Simultaneously?
Yeah.
Yeah, I had this, I moved very quickly.
No, I had, I had gone, uh, my father moved around, so I consequently went to
four different high schools.
So it was very tough for me to take root anywhere.
Yeah.
Uh, shy, have a lot of dates?
Popular?
No, I didn't.
I think I had one date in high school.
I was, uh.
I was a real late, late, I mean, I, I was, I remember looking at the seniors
thinking, these guys look like men.
Yeah.
You know, I was always wondering when that was going to happen.
I was, I started to grow in college, really.
Um, and did you, now you've made a couple of baseball movies here.
Uh, Bull Durham and Field of Dreams.
Did, did you play baseball anywhere along the line, Little League or high
school or anything?
Yeah, I played all, you know, from late at night in the street to organize
baseball.
So that, that part wasn't difficult for me.
Uh, is it, um, difficult for you in these movies to be always certain that the,
the baseball action is, is accurate?
Yeah, I think, I think anytime you make a movie about somebody's world, it's,
it's like, it's your, your job to make sure that when you enter into that world,
you're doing the best thing you can with it.
I mean, we, we have seen movies where it looks a little silly and, and I
thought, gee, I, I just.
Like what?
What would be a silly baseball film?
Tony Perkins would be.
Yeah.
Fear strikes out.
Yeah, that's right.
Right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah, that, that didn't work, but you know, it was a good try.
Yeah.
Why, what, what about, what about that film struck you as being, uh, you know,
not, not on the up and up?
I think when he tried to catch the ball, it was, it was, it was a, it was, it
wasn't really very pretty.
Kind of like one of these.
Yeah, it was, it was, you know, it's when you throw somebody and the ball gets
there first.
And it hits you.
He grabs it to his chest.
Yeah, I have, I have daughters that don't have the hand-eye coordination.
Right, right.
And, and, and, uh, Tony didn't have it either.
Uh, we're going to do a commercial, and then we'll be right back here with
Kevin Coffin.
Uh, we're going to do a commercial, and we're going to do a commercial, and
then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial,
and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a
commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and we're going to do a
commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do
a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to
do a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going
to do a commercial.
We're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and
then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial,
and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a
commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do
a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to
do a commercial.
All right.
Kevin Costner, Exotic Poultry, and Tom Tom Club.
Let's see.
Let's talk about the Fields of Dreams.
Right.
This is, I didn't realize until last week that this was originally supposed to
be Shoeless Joe.
Right.
From the novel, the W.P. Kinsella.
Did I have the initials correct?
Right.
Yeah.
And having read the book a few years ago, it was a little mystical, spiritual.
It is a bit of a fable.
I mean, I think of, I thought the movie had a chance to be great, and when I
saw it, I knew that it was great.
And it's kind of like probably our generation's, it's a wonderful life.
It's a little different than being in the back of a limo.
It's Care Bears time, you know, in a way.
But it's very, it's a movie.
Odd things happened in the book, and did they get them on the screen?
They did, you know, with Burt Lancaster's in it and James Earl Jones, and they
got that stuff.
They got, they, it really, it's very tough on men seeing this movie.
They don't immediately leave the theater.
Give people an example of what we're, what I'm thumpering about here.
Like a baseball, a baseball field appears in the middle of an Iowa cornfield,
right?
Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, a woman is starved for entertainment.
It is, it's such a difficult concept to explain, but the writer and director,
it's a journey movie.
You know, it's not a plot-oriented.
Five minutes into the movie, you don't know what it's about, but when the movie's
over,
you know that it's about things that have gone unsaid in your life.
And, uh, it's kind of reminds me of really why I like movies.
Yeah.
You know, it takes you somewhere, and it just, it's good that way.
Was it filmed mostly in Iowa?
It was filmed all of it in Iowa.
And did you have a huge, uh, cornfield and then a baseball diamond in the
middle of it?
Well, it was in the middle of the drought, uh, when you were reading all about
it last year,
and it was a, it was a, we were a source of irritant for the people there
because Hollywood descended
and poured chemicals and water and, and nothing else was growing, but our field
was this bionic field.
And, of course, they were trying to get the president to come in and, and, and
say,
look at how bad things are going, and he, like, lands in our cornfield.
And, you know, it's, like, up to here.
So it was very, and then, of course, we plowed under, which really baffled the,
the farmers.
They're just shaking their heads like they, they, it was very difficult for
them.
Um, let's spend a couple minutes here talking about other, other people you've
worked with.
Big, huge stars.
Uh, Robert De Niro.
Yeah.
Uh, Sean Connery.
Sean.
Uh, any stories jump out here when you hear these names?
Well, when I think of Sean, I, Sean clearly is probably the biggest movie star
I have ever been around.
I mean, I, he really kind of, the example, I, you know, people will ask me,
well, what's it like?
And I said, well, I have a, I have a really good example.
One day I was talking with Sean, the example of what it's like to be, I guess,
a star.
And I was talking with Sean around the streets in Chicago doing Untouchables.
And as I was talking to him, a woman was behind the ropes and she was trying to
get my attention.
And I was thinking, well, I'm just going to slide over there and find out.
But before I do, I'm going to stay talking to Sean.
And finally I get done talking to Sean and now I'm, I'm going to walk over
there.
And so I walk around thinking, what could be on her mind?
And she hands me this like little paper and I'm wondering if it's, you know, I
don't know what it, what it could say.
And she looks at me and she says, could you get me Sean Connery's autograph?
And I said, oh, that's what it's like to be a star.
He was, uh, so when you walk with Sean, you really find out your place in the
community really quick.
I get those kind of notes and it says, can you get me so-and-so's autograph and
also a cup of coffee?
So, um, well, geez, it's a pleasure to meet you.
You seem like just a down-to-earth, terrific, regular, normal, easy-going guy.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, nice to have you here.
Good luck with the show.
Take a minute, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back.
Howdy.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Are you looking for exotic poultry?
We got it.
Uh, so anyway, I conclude our little visit with Kevin Costner by giving him my
personal evaluation of him.
Kind of a jerk would do that.
Like it's a job interview or something.
Well, you seem like a real self-starter to me, son.
Like he cares what I think of him.
We all felt.
You seem like a real nice guy, Kevin.
Big deal.
Thanks.
We all felt that way about him and I'm glad you expressed it on our behalf.
The hell's the matter with me?
Live poultry?
Exotic live poultry?
We got it, dear.
Uh, let's see.
Um, on the program Monday, Jonathan Winters and Robin Williams will be here.
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
This show is like six years old.
You're more than welcome to come and sit in the studio Monday night, but there
won't be anything going on.
Uh, also singer Judy Mowat.
Mowat?
Oh, yeah.
Mowat?
Well, you know.
Mowat?
You know, whatever.
You tell us.
Thank you.
You know how to pronounce it.
You're getting a little attitude from you, Paul?
I don't know how to pronounce it.
Oh, oh, and also on the show Monday, what do you want?
What?
Three years old.
It's three years old.
Barbara Gaines, ladies and gentlemen, running to the hinterlands.
Uh, and the man who would not, absolutely refused.
What a rebel.
What a renegade.
He stands alone.
Would not advance his clocks.
That's right.
Does not change time.
Lincoln Webster Burnham.
Fabled in story and song.
Remember the, remember the Disney movie about him?
The man who would not advance his clocks.
Would not change the face of time.
What a tearjerker.
What a heartbreaker.
Well, I think you've got the job.
Of course, I'll have to talk to my supervisor.
Thanks for dropping by, Mr. Costner.
Bonehead behavior at its best.

Kevin Costner on Letterman April 14, 1989

Welcome back to the program.
Big star. Our first guest, a big star.
Huge.
Kevin Costner.
There he is.
You can see him?
I can see him from here, yeah.
Kevin Costner and Exotic Poultry.
In fact, that's the only way he would do this show.
If we guaranteed, in our studio, Exotic Poultry.
This man has made strong impressions in such diverse films as Silverado, No Way
Out, and Bull Durham.
His new film, which opens next Friday, is called Field of Dreams.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Kevin Costner.
Hi, Kevin.
Pleasure to meet you. How are you?
Good.
Thanks for being here.
I love it.
What do you think?
Wow.
Pretty cool, huh?
You walk out and the place goes nuts.
Yeah.
What part of the country are you from?
I'm from Los Angeles.
Grew up there? Born and reared there?
I lived up and down the state, never got out of it, but I was born in Compton,
actually.
Compton is now a major, well, even when you were a kid, an urban area.
It's like next to Watts.
Yeah.
And what kind of kid were you?
I was in trouble most of the time.
Big trouble or just goofy kid trouble?
No, a little outlaw stuff, you know.
Really?
Yeah, where you had to kind of explain yourself.
Once in a while, your dad would bring you in and say,
I'm going to leave your mother outside and I'd like to talk with you.
Uh-huh.
That kind of stuff.
And what form would those talks take?
He would do the talking.
Uh-huh.
So, he just would always end up with saying,
I don't want to have this conversation again.
You know, so, okay.
Because your dad always is that big.
Were you ever fingerprinted?
Yeah, I was.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Uh, can you give us a hint what the area was?
Well, it was in my, these years, you know, so I was supposed to.
The formative years.
Yeah, I didn't call my dad to let him know what had happened,
so I had to explain it myself.
And?
Well.
What are you, about 16, 17 years old?
It was, it was kind of, it was, it was, uh, I found myself, uh, in jail.
Now, wait a minute.
You don't just find yourself in jail.
I was coming back from a place and I was in a tuxedo and I, I ended up going to
jail.
And I remember it was one of the, it was one of the proudest moments of my life
because I felt like I could survive.
And they threw me into this place with about 20 guys and I had a tuxedo on and
it was about three in the morning and I just, there was no room.
So I, I, I was laying on the cement floor.
Right.
And about halfway through a guy in the morning, a guy came in and, and said,
Larry, you're out.
And so Larry happened to be on this bench and he got up and about 10 guys
started to go for this high real estate.
Cause that cement was cold and I remember beating everybody to it and giving
them that look like this is my piece of real estate.
It was like in jail.
That bench was Park Avenue.
Were, were, were you, I just laid down and went to sleep.
And I remember when I woke up, I could hear voices going, I wonder what he did.
Cause I was in a tuxedo.
You're lucky somebody didn't try and steal your cummerbund because then that
could have fissed the cusp for sure.
Uh, but, but as kids go, it was, uh, I guess a minor infraction.
Things were, no, it was simple.
Were you, were you in high school and stuff, a real popular guy?
Were you, uh.
No, I, well, I, I went to four different high schools, so it was always.
Simultaneously?
Yeah.
Yeah, I had this, I moved very quickly.
No, I had, I had gone, uh, my father moved around, so I consequently went to
four different high schools.
So it was very tough for me to take root anywhere.
Yeah.
Uh, shy, have a lot of dates?
Popular?
No, I didn't.
I think I had one date in high school.
I was, uh.
I was a real late, late, I mean, I, I was, I remember looking at the seniors
thinking, these guys look like men.
Yeah.
You know, I was always wondering when that was going to happen.
I was, I started to grow in college, really.
Um, and did you, now you've made a couple of baseball movies here.
Uh, Bull Durham and Field of Dreams.
Did, did you play baseball anywhere along the line, Little League or high
school or anything?
Yeah, I played all, you know, from late at night in the street to organize
baseball.
So that, that part wasn't difficult for me.
Uh, is it, um, difficult for you in these movies to be always certain that the,
the baseball action is, is accurate?
Yeah, I think, I think anytime you make a movie about somebody's world, it's,
it's like, it's your, your job to make sure that when you enter into that world,
you're doing the best thing you can with it.
I mean, we, we have seen movies where it looks a little silly and, and I
thought, gee, I, I just.
Like what?
What would be a silly baseball film?
Tony Perkins would be.
Yeah.
Fear strikes out.
Yeah, that's right.
Right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah, that, that didn't work, but you know, it was a good try.
Yeah.
Why, what, what about, what about that film struck you as being, uh, you know,
not, not on the up and up?
I think when he tried to catch the ball, it was, it was, it was a, it was, it
wasn't really very pretty.
Kind of like one of these.
Yeah, it was, it was, you know, it's when you throw somebody and the ball gets
there first.
And it hits you.
He grabs it to his chest.
Yeah, I have, I have daughters that don't have the hand-eye coordination.
Right, right.
And, and, and, uh, Tony didn't have it either.
Uh, we're going to do a commercial, and then we'll be right back here with
Kevin Coffin.
Uh, we're going to do a commercial, and we're going to do a commercial, and
then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial,
and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a
commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and we're going to do a
commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do
a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to
do a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going
to do a commercial.
We're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and
then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial,
and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do a
commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to do
a commercial, and then we're going to do a commercial, and then we're going to
do a commercial.
All right.
Kevin Costner, Exotic Poultry, and Tom Tom Club.
Let's see.
Let's talk about the Fields of Dreams.
Right.
This is, I didn't realize until last week that this was originally supposed to
be Shoeless Joe.
Right.
From the novel, the W.P. Kinsella.
Did I have the initials correct?
Right.
Yeah.
And having read the book a few years ago, it was a little mystical, spiritual.
It is a bit of a fable.
I mean, I think of, I thought the movie had a chance to be great, and when I
saw it, I knew that it was great.
And it's kind of like probably our generation's, it's a wonderful life.
It's a little different than being in the back of a limo.
It's Care Bears time, you know, in a way.
But it's very, it's a movie.
Odd things happened in the book, and did they get them on the screen?
They did, you know, with Burt Lancaster's in it and James Earl Jones, and they
got that stuff.
They got, they, it really, it's very tough on men seeing this movie.
They don't immediately leave the theater.
Give people an example of what we're, what I'm thumpering about here.
Like a baseball, a baseball field appears in the middle of an Iowa cornfield,
right?
Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, a woman is starved for entertainment.
It is, it's such a difficult concept to explain, but the writer and director,
it's a journey movie.
You know, it's not a plot-oriented.
Five minutes into the movie, you don't know what it's about, but when the movie's
over,
you know that it's about things that have gone unsaid in your life.
And, uh, it's kind of reminds me of really why I like movies.
Yeah.
You know, it takes you somewhere, and it just, it's good that way.
Was it filmed mostly in Iowa?
It was filmed all of it in Iowa.
And did you have a huge, uh, cornfield and then a baseball diamond in the
middle of it?
Well, it was in the middle of the drought, uh, when you were reading all about
it last year,
and it was a, it was a, we were a source of irritant for the people there
because Hollywood descended
and poured chemicals and water and, and nothing else was growing, but our field
was this bionic field.
And, of course, they were trying to get the president to come in and, and, and
say,
look at how bad things are going, and he, like, lands in our cornfield.
And, you know, it's, like, up to here.
So it was very, and then, of course, we plowed under, which really baffled the,
the farmers.
They're just shaking their heads like they, they, it was very difficult for
them.
Um, let's spend a couple minutes here talking about other, other people you've
worked with.
Big, huge stars.
Uh, Robert De Niro.
Yeah.
Uh, Sean Connery.
Sean.
Uh, any stories jump out here when you hear these names?
Well, when I think of Sean, I, Sean clearly is probably the biggest movie star
I have ever been around.
I mean, I, he really kind of, the example, I, you know, people will ask me,
well, what's it like?
And I said, well, I have a, I have a really good example.
One day I was talking with Sean, the example of what it's like to be, I guess,
a star.
And I was talking with Sean around the streets in Chicago doing Untouchables.
And as I was talking to him, a woman was behind the ropes and she was trying to
get my attention.
And I was thinking, well, I'm just going to slide over there and find out.
But before I do, I'm going to stay talking to Sean.
And finally I get done talking to Sean and now I'm, I'm going to walk over
there.
And so I walk around thinking, what could be on her mind?
And she hands me this like little paper and I'm wondering if it's, you know, I
don't know what it, what it could say.
And she looks at me and she says, could you get me Sean Connery's autograph?
And I said, oh, that's what it's like to be a star.
He was, uh, so when you walk with Sean, you really find out your place in the
community really quick.
I get those kind of notes and it says, can you get me so-and-so's autograph and
also a cup of coffee?
So, um, well, geez, it's a pleasure to meet you.
You seem like just a down-to-earth, terrific, regular, normal, easy-going guy.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, nice to have you here.
Good luck with the show.
Take a minute, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back.
Howdy.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Are you looking for exotic poultry?
We got it.
Uh, so anyway, I conclude our little visit with Kevin Costner by giving him my
personal evaluation of him.
Kind of a jerk would do that.
Like it's a job interview or something.
Well, you seem like a real self-starter to me, son.
Like he cares what I think of him.
We all felt.
You seem like a real nice guy, Kevin.
Big deal.
Thanks.
We all felt that way about him and I'm glad you expressed it on our behalf.
The hell's the matter with me?
Live poultry?
Exotic live poultry?
We got it, dear.
Uh, let's see.
Um, on the program Monday, Jonathan Winters and Robin Williams will be here.
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
This show is like six years old.
You're more than welcome to come and sit in the studio Monday night, but there
won't be anything going on.
Uh, also singer Judy Mowat.
Mowat?
Oh, yeah.
Mowat?
Well, you know.
Mowat?
You know, whatever.
You tell us.
Thank you.
You know how to pronounce it.
You're getting a little attitude from you, Paul?
I don't know how to pronounce it.
Oh, oh, and also on the show Monday, what do you want?
What?
Three years old.
It's three years old.
Barbara Gaines, ladies and gentlemen, running to the hinterlands.
Uh, and the man who would not, absolutely refused.
What a rebel.
What a renegade.
He stands alone.
Would not advance his clocks.
That's right.
Does not change time.
Lincoln Webster Burnham.
Fabled in story and song.
Remember the, remem