Name: The Strong Guy, Fat Guy & Genius on Letterman, 1993, 1994
Uploaded: 2017-06-27T01:17:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Strong Guy, Fat Guy & Genius on Letterman, 1993, 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Strong Guy, Fat Guy & Genius on Letterman, 1993, 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-27. Transcript available.

You know, last Monday, I had the pleasure of spending the afternoon up in our
offices on the 14th floor here at NBC with three very special gentlemen. Here
now is a little presentation we call The Strong Guy, The Fat Guy, and The
Genius.
Hi, I want you to meet three gentlemen who are going to be with us here this
evening. Your name, sir, is Mike Cobar. Mike, nice to see you. And you are, sir?
A strong guy. Strong guy. Your name, sir? Tim, Tim Jackson. Tim, yeah. I'm a
fat guy. Tim, you're a fat guy. Great. Your name, sir? Andy Pesson. Andy? Yeah,
and I'm a genius. A genius. Okay, great.
The strong guy, the fat guy, the genius. God gave him each a special gift at
birth. They break it, they eat it, they solve it. That's the reason they were
put upon this earth.
Bill, do you have something for The Strong Guy to bust? Yeah, I have a Pat
Cooper CD. Pat Cooper, very funny comedian, been on the show several times.
Wow, that was... That wasn't nothing. Look at that. And something for the fat
guy to eat? Yeah, I have some Tennessee chow-chow relish.
Question for the genius, Bill, and then we'll let you get back to your life.
Yeah, how tall is Mount Everest? The elevation of Mount Everest.
Well, actually, there have been a couple of different measurements. The first
one was 29,002, I think, but then some years later, they revised that for 29,029.
One strong, one's fat, one's a genius. There's nothing they don't break or eat
or know. Nobody's sure where they came from. Nobody's sure where they might go.
Yeah, can you break that clock?
Do you have something for the fat guy to eat? A head of lettuce? A head of
lettuce?
Do you have a question for the genius?
Yeah, what's the properties of an isosceles triangle?
It's got two sides that are equal.
Do you have anything for the strong guy to bust?
I've got this humidifier.
Oh, a humidifier.
Tuna salad?
All right.
If you've got the best animal trainers in the world together, could you train a
camel to ski?
Well, I think the key thing would be to get the camel out of the desert into
someplace where there's snow, but once that's done, I imagine it can be done.
It could be done.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's a fun enough camel.
Yeah, it is.
The Doppler effect is basically when you have a wave phenomenon, like either a
light or sound, and the source of the wave is moving, the wave itself will be
shifted in frequency or in wavelength.
There's actually three area codes in New Jersey now, but Maplewood would be 201.
16 times 12 would be, let's see, 162, 192.
Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius.
Your three modern heroes in the stars, they break it, they eat it, they solve
it.
Queep, we say.
That's the reason they were put up on this earth.
That's the reason they were put up on this earth.
That's the reason they were put up on this earth.
We have to pause for yet another commercial when we return.
Aaron Neville will join us.
Thank you, everyone.
The strong guy, the fat guy, the genius.
God gave them each a special gift at birth.
They break it, they eat it, they solve it.
That's the reason they were put up on this earth.
One strong, one's fat, one's a genius.
Yes, sir.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The strong guy, the fat guy, the genius.
I'm going to guarantee you something, folks.
You'll be singing this song for the next two and a half months.
That's the reason they were put up on this earth.
He's a fat guy, it's a strong guy, it's a smart guy.
You can't stop singing the song.
It'll be haunting you.
Labor Day.
I can phone you at home Labor Day afternoon.
This will be it.
Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. He, Hey, Hey.
Tonight, we are going to do something very special.
We're all terribly excited about it.
This evening, we're going to spend the entire night
with three wonderful, special, talented, lovely people.
The fat guy, the strong guy, and the genius.
Roll it.
I would like you to meet three very special friends of mine.
You, sir?
The strong guy.
And you?
I'm a fat guy.
And how about you?
Genius.
You guys ready?
Yeah.
Let's go.
The strong guy, the fat guy, the genius.
God gave them each a special gift at birth.
They break it, they eat it, they solve it.
That's the reason they were put up on this earth.
You have something for the strong guy to bust?
Yeah, you can bust the clock.
Oh, the clock.
Go ahead.
And, Rupert, do you have anything for the fat guy to eat?
Yeah, we have some baked ziti today.
Oh, baked ziti.
And now, how about a question for the genius?
Well, on the periodic chart, what's the symbol for sodium?
That would be N-A.
He's a genius.
Do you have anything for the strong guy to bust?
Yes.
What do you got?
We got, uh, stereo.
Cool.
And, Alec, something for the fat guy to eat?
How about cream cheese?
That's suitable for a bagel store.
Yes, sir.
How much paper is in a ring of regular paper?
That's 500 sheets.
A lobster.
He'll punch it.
Some corn.
He'll munch it.
The genius.
Man, that guy is smart.
The natural enemy of the penguin is the leopard seal.
Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius.
We thank you from the bottom of our heart.
The strong guy, the fat guy, the genius.
God gave them each a special gift at birth.
They break it, they eat it, they solve it.
The largest state east of the Mississippi would be Georgia.
That's the reason they were put up on this earth.
That's right, all night long we'll be visiting with our friends
the strong guy, the fat guy, and the genius.
And I guarantee you, ladies and gentlemen, after tonight's broadcast
it'll take you about six weeks to get that song out of your head.
The strong guy, the fat guy, the genius.
They're walking all over this town.
Tom Brokaw from NBC News is here.
Blind Melon and Julie Brown.
We're going to be on the air for the rest of the hour.
Come on back, folks.
And as I mentioned at the beginning of the program tonight,
all night long, spending some time with three very wonderful special people.
The strong guy, the fat guy, the genius.
One's strong, one's fat, one's a genius.
There's nothing they don't break or eat or know.
Nobody's sure where they came from.
Nobody's sure they might go.
Do you have anything for the strong guy to bust up here today?
Uh, yeah, Dave, we have a couple chairs.
Let's try to move on.
Yeah.
All right, sir.
How about, uh, something for the fat guy to eat?
Give us some araschino cherries.
He's eating with stems as well.
And, uh, Pete, what about a question for the genius?
Uh, on our lunch special, we have a hamburger for $5.95,
a bottle of Heineken for $3.75.
I was wondering what the total would be.
So that would be $5.8, that would be $9.70.
A drum, he'll break it.
A plug, he'll eat it.
A thumb, he'll add it in his head.
$1.55 plus $3.97 is $5.52.
Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius.
You walk where weak them dumb guys fear to tread.
This portion of The Strong Guy, The Fat Guy, and The Genius
has been brought to you by Samsonite Luggage.
This is one strong suitcase.
The Strong Guy, The Fat Guy, The Genius
God gave them each a special gift at birth
They break it, they eat it, they solve it
The Jamestown Colony was settled in 1607.
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
You don't
If there's a lesson in tonight's show
If there's something to take away from the broadcast
It's that they walk where weak, thin, dumb guys fear to tread
Fear to tread
Got it
Okay, let's go back out into the streets
with our good friends
The Strong Guy, The Fat Guy, The Genius
Here we go
The Strong Guy, The Fat Guy, The Genius
God gave them each a special gift at birth
They break it, they eat it, they solve it
A screwdriver consists of vodka and orange juice
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
He'll pray
Any item
Raw eggs
He'll fight him
No question
Can stop his mighty brain
The largest two-digit prime member, 97
Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius
Three rays of hope in a world that's gone insane
See, that would be Dancer, Prancer, Donner, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Dasher, Blitzen
And let's not forget Rudolph
Mr. Strong Guy, Mr. Fat Guy, Mr. Genius
You help expect a nothing in return
John, let me ask you something
Do you have something for the strong guy to break?
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Actually, I think I have a question for the genius here
Should maybe we be doing this inside?
Yes
Do you have anything for the strong guy to break?
How about this aspirin?
All right
Very nice
Do you have anything for the fat guy to eat?
How about some cake?
Serena
Thank you
There you go
Andy, do you have a question for the genius?
What's the capital of Belgium?
Capital of Belgium
He said, what's the capital of Belgium?
Belgium
The strong guy, the fat guy, the genius
God gave them each a special gift
They break it, they eat it, they solve it
Belgium
One of the Benelux countries
Oh, never mind
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's right
Through rays of hope in a world that's gone insane
We're going to do a commercial when we come back
Blind Melon will be here
Come on back, folks
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth
That's the reason they were put upon this earth