Name: The Viewer Mail Story on Letterman, November 3, 1983
Uploaded: 2017-06-30T00:15:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Viewer Mail Story on Letterman, November 3, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Viewer Mail Story on Letterman, November 3, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-06-30. Transcript available.

thank you very much welcome back to the program folks monday on this television
show dinah shore
will be joining us also comedian richard lewis now being that it's thursday
night
and as you know every thursday we answer our viewer mail people often ask us
how we prepare
that segment every week well to answer that question we've made a short tape
showing the highlights of this complex and fascinating process
the viewer mail process begins with you the viewer writing a letter to late
night
dear dave what's the deal on your hair
mail from all 50 states and over 80 foreign countries is delivered to the late
night postal
substation located in the basement of 30 rockefeller plaza
especially trained police dogs are used to sniff for any dangerous or illegal
substances
then trained pigs through the bags looking for truffles which are highly valued
by
chefs and a staple here at the nbc commissary finally bloodhounds are brought
in just in case
any prisoners from southern road gangs have mailed themselves to the show which
happens more frequently
than you might think after inspection the mail is sorted according to
geographic point of origin
and then read by out of work phds familiar with the dialect of each of those
regions
then the mail is sorted by hand according to subject matter
and any suspicious letters are referred to our handwriting expert who reports
his findings to the nbc executives
in charge of made for tv movies and to the police
then powerful computers determined statistically the issues that most concern
the viewers of late night
finally i discussed the results of the analysis with our researchers
so what what's the big issue this week what's going on here mr letterman it's
your hair
my hair well seriously nothing wrong with my hair
i know that mr letterman but your viewers appear to be concerned
oh fine if they're concerned well certainly let's not sidestep the issue then
do something about it
after we've selected the letters we're going to answer on the show
our crack team of researchers takes over amassing all the relevant background
data
their report is passed along to the late night writing staff who labor long
into the night
to come up with the most appropriate responses to those letters
finally as time runs out the moment of truth arrives
the long painstaking process has borne fruit
we have chosen the best possible answers to your letters
and another viewer mail segment is ready for the show
uh all right uh letter number four dear dave
what is the deal on your hair your biggest fan chuck
well frankly chuck that's none of your business
that's none of your business
oh yes that's classic
and Gaja Gabor is here.