Name: Staff Talent Shows on Letterman, 1990, 1991, & Extended Cut
Uploaded: 2017-07-06T04:34:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Talent Shows on Letterman, 1990, 1991, & Extended Cut' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Talent Shows on Letterman, 1990, 1991, & Extended Cut' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-06. Transcript available.

Coincidentally, earlier today up in the office, I was putting on a little show
for the kids
and I put a firecracker in an egg roll.
How did that...
It was cool. It was really cool. It was like off a bottle rocket.
So it looked like there for a second the egg roll was going to take off.
Yeah.
But of course, it didn't. It's not aerodynamically sound, the egg roll.
And sparks were shooting out of the egg roll.
And if you had just walked in and seen this sparking egg roll,
well, you would have thought you were what? Nuts?
No.
And then it just exploded. It just went kind of...
You know, the way they explode when you've eaten them.
Yes.
You know, ladies and gentlemen, you never really know how much talent you have
right in your own office until you run out of ideas for the show.
Well, this is just what we discovered when we made the desperate decision
to have a staff show and tell.
And I hope all your parents are watching tonight. Please enjoy this, won't you?
This is Chris Albers. How long have you been here, Chris?
Three years now.
What do you do?
I work with Paul Schaefer in the band.
Is it a good job?
Yeah.
All right.
What are you going to do for us today?
I do a little thing with my wing bones.
Okay, wing bones. Here we go. Take a look.
Oh, my God.
Some kind of exotic bird in your shirt.
Ooh, you're making a sick, Chris.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
I guess you're happy there's no more drug testing, huh?
All right, go ahead, Andy. Swallow loud.
I just pray to God he was swallowing them.
Oh, man.
Yeah, like Lee Majors on the old $4 million, $6 million man.
Is it kind of purple and ugly?
No, it's actually quite a nice scar.
Uh-huh.
Let's see.
Wait a minute.
Ooh! Ooh, look at that.
Ooh!
Oh, it's not so bad.
This is our associate producer, Jude Brennan, and, uh, you know what we'd like
for you to
do today is when you pretend like you're just fed up with me, you know, you
take a drag
off the cigarette, and then you say something to indicate that you're just, uh,
really completely fed up.
All right, here we go.
You make me sick.
Oh, yeah.
All right, what do you have to show us?
Well, I do, uh, giant photo blow-ups.
Giant photo blow-ups.
Okay, let's, uh, let's see what you have.
Wow, that's lovely.
I didn't, I didn't realize you had those, uh, those are, like, kind of greenish-blue
eyes.
Very nice.
Uh, do you have any of me?
Uh, no, actually, right now I'm just concentrating on, uh, Regis.
Hey, any good idea?
Like, I need to tell you, this is Deirdre Dodd.
What do you do up here at Deirdre?
I work here in the talent department.
Yeah, talent department.
That's a huge department, isn't it?
Yeah.
And what are you gonna do for us, Deirdre?
Nothing, really.
She's gonna look bored and miserable.
Okay, go ahead, Deirdre, do it.
Great, perfect.
Ta-da!
Very nice.
You'd make a lovely end table.
But what do you do?
Uh, I do my impressionation of you running into me in the hall.
I'll go this way and you just run into me.
All right, okay.
Are we ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's me?
That was you.
That's what you did.
And then you went like this.
Yeah.
Kind of cute.
I wish you were dead.
I'm gonna throw as many pencils as I can into the ceiling.
I have about a thousand here.
I'll just sit right like this.
Don't do this if you live in a trailer.
Ready?
We can edit this like I haven't missed a one.
Sixteen in a row.
That worked up quite a sweat.
What are you gonna do?
I have a song.
Oh, great.
A song.
You ready?
Yeah.
There's no business like show business, like no business I know.
All right, honey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Everything about it is appealing.
Hey, hey, hey.
No, no, no, no, no.
Do me a favor.
Lie down.
Lie down on the couch.
All right.
I'm just gonna take this pillow.
Let me know when you're dead, all right?
Okay.
You're witnessing a homicide here.
Huh?
What?
Yeah, she's dead.
You make everybody sick.
The little office is still in town.
Oh, and of course, we'll be right back here with Tom Wolfe.
All right, so here's what we're gonna do today.
You're gonna get to meet the various staff members who work up here at the 14th
floor every day.
And in addition to meeting them, you're gonna see little talents, little
abilities that they have,
little tricks that they can do for you.
And I'm gonna start, first of all,
I have a very facile mind when it comes to numbers.
I'll give you an example.
I'm thinking now of a number 174, and you're saying to yourself, what is that?
I believe that that's Oprah Winfrey's current weight.
Here, also, look at this.
We found this in the citrus basket.
See, that's an orange.
We don't know how long it's been there.
Can you see that?
See, here it still has the sun-kissed thing on there.
I'm not suggesting you use this to eat or as even a garnish,
but I think you could probably still make pretty nice juice out of that.
We found that in the office.
Okay, now, I'll show you another number trick.
We have staff members in here.
You people, I'll just go around the room, call out three-digit numbers.
I'll put them down on this card, and then, like that, I'll add up the total.
It's an amazing trick that I have.
Give me a number, a three-digit number, anybody.
643.
643, okay.
712.
812, all right.
Maybe take about eight of these.
918.
918, okay.
341.
Those are fast.
I drove one in high school.
Four more.
512.
512, okay.
483.
483.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
Two more.
111.
111, okay.
803.
803, all right.
And I'm just going to...
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
There, that's the total, 44.93.
You can check that at home if you're smart enough.
All right.
Now, also, I'm going to throw as many pencils as I can into the ceiling.
I have about 1,000 here.
I'll just sit right like this.
Don't do this if you live in a trailer.
Ready?
You can count along with me if you want.
1, 2, 3, 4, up, 4, 5, 5, 6, 7.
We can edit this like I haven't missed a 1.
16 in a row.
That worked up quite a sweat.
This is Leslie Namm.
How are you, Leslie?
I'm just fine.
What do you do here?
I work in the talent department.
How long have you been over there?
About a year and a half.
Have you ever been in my office before?
Never.
Swear to God?
Swear to God.
I'm serious.
Have you ever been in here before?
Never.
All right.
And what are you going to do for us now?
I'm going to walk down the wall with my hands.
Okay, let me move the curtain for you.
And if you do this well, we have a lovely orange for you.
Great.
All right.
Here we go.
Am I all right here?
Very nice.
You'd make a lovely end table.
And what's your little activity for us today?
Well, I'm going to put on my Batgirl costume.
She's going to put on her Batgirl costume.
Go right ahead.
How long will this take?
Jill is from Georgia.
She's not a runaway.
And she's going to put on her $6 bat suit for you.
Come right back in.
There she is.
It's a $6 bat suit.
We'll turn around.
Let's see.
Yeah, that's lovely.
It looks like, actually, that it might have cost twice that much.
Next is our production coordinator, Barbara Gaines.
Barbara, what are you going to do for us?
I have this Bat costume.
No, I know.
We've seen the Bat costume.
Take that off.
You're making a fool of yourself already.
You're turning this into a mockery.
All right.
Now, seriously, what are you going to do?
I have a song.
Oh, great.
A song.
Go right ahead.
Yeah.
There's no business like show business, like no business I know.
All right, honey.
Everything about it is appealing.
No, no, no, no.
Do me a favor.
Lie down.
Lie down on the couch.
All right.
I'm just going to take this pillow.
Let me know when you're dead, all right?
Okay.
You're witnessing a homicide here.
Huh?
What?
Yeah.
She's dead.
This is our associate producer, Jude Brennan.
And you know what we'd like for you to do today is when you pretend like you're
just fed up with me,
you know, you take a drag off the cigarette and then you say something to
indicate
that you're just really completely fed up.
All right, here we go.
You make me sick.
Pretty good, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Of course, this man needs no introduction.
This is Paul Schaefer, my musical director for the last 30 years.
I do a little trick where I utter a magic phrase.
Right.
And then dematerialize right before your eyes.
Vanish.
Exactly.
All right.
Okay.
This will be great.
Should I have some kind of lead shield around me?
Limited exposure.
Okay.
All right.
Fine.
Here we go.
All right.
Here's the phrase.
Excuse me while I disappear.
Wow.
Unbelievable.
Now, this, this you could not have done on radio.
Very nice job, Paul.
Thank you very much.
I thought you'd like it.
Yeah.
Would you like me to come back now?
You know, we want to get all the kids on today.
Thanks again.
We'll see you.
Oh, okay.
Bye-bye.
All right.
All right.
What else?
I can walk on my, or stand on my hands.
All right.
Let's see.
Stand on your hands.
Here we go.
Pittsburgh, Kansas.
Yeah.
No H, just G, right?
Right.
Yeah.
All right.
Very good.
How about that, Paul?
Wow.
Truly amazing.
Yeah.
Hey, can I come back now?
No, we got to keep moving.
Oh, this is Chris Albers.
How long have you been here, Chris?
Three years now.
What do you do?
I work with Paul Schaefer in the band.
Is it a good job?
Yeah.
All right.
Great job.
What are you going to do for us today?
I do a little thing with my wing bones.
Okay, wing bones.
Here we go.
Let's take a look.
Oh, my God.
Some kind of exotic bird in your shirt.
Oh, you're making us sick, Chris.
So, what did you think of that, Paul?
He's fired.
Oh, I'm sorry, Chris.
Thanks for dropping by, though.
You make everybody sick.
Oh, my goodness.
I guess you're happy there's no more drug testing, huh?
Uh-huh.
Is it kind of purple and ugly?
No, it's actually quite a nice scar.
Uh-huh.
Let's see.
Wait a minute.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, that's not so bad.
Oh, man.
Yeah, like Lee Majors on the old $4 million, $6 million man.
All right, go ahead, Andy.
Swallow loud.
I just pray to God he was swallowing then.
All right.
What do you have to show us?
Well, I do giant photo blow-ups.
Giant photo blow-ups.
Okay, let's see what you have.
Wow, that's lovely.
I didn't realize he had those greenish-blue eyes.
Very nice.
Do you have any of me?
No, actually, right now I'm just concentrating on Regis.
Hey, any good idea?
You're nothing but a worm.
This, of course, is my personal manager, Jack Rollins.
Jack handles myself, handles a guy who has a learn-to-play bridge video,
and used to handle puppeteers, right?
Right.
Yeah, okay.
I have a stilt-walker high school.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
They don't still have those eight-day bicycle races at the garden, do they?
Well, I don't believe so, no, no.
Jack, you're going to do, I guess, an impression?
I guess so.
Okay, what is it?
Who would you like to see?
Whoever you're comfortable with.
I'm comfortable with Ed Sullivan.
All right, Ed Sullivan, ladies and gentlemen.
Ed Sullivan.
I've got to turn my back.
Oh, sure, of course you do.
That's right.
Get the hair.
Here we go, Ed Sullivan.
Shoot the cuffs.
Yep, all right.
That's it.
That's it, very nice.
What is it you do?
I do my impersonation of you running into me in the hall.
I'll go this way, and you just run into me.
All right, okay.
Are we ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's me?
That was you.
That's what you did, and then you went like this.
Yeah, kind of cute.
She's going to look bored and miserable.
Okay, go ahead, Deirdre, do it.
How's that?
Great, perfect.
I wish you were dead.
Okay, well, there you go.
You got a chance to meet some of the staff members up here,
and now to say goodbye,
and I guess to kind of make everybody sick.
Here once again is Barbara Gaines with
There's No Business Like Showbiz.
Okay, go ahead, Barbara.
There's no business like show business,
like no business I know.
Everything about it is appealing.
Everything the traffic will allow.
Nowhere will you get an extra feeling.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Hey!
You know, ladies and gentlemen,
people ask me from time to time,
how big is your staff?
And I say, jeez, I don't know,
30, 35, 40 people,
and what kind of people are they?
And I say, well, normal human beings,
just like you and me,
and many of them have interesting,
unusual talents, tricks, oddities,
or peculiarities that they can do
to be really entertaining from time to time.
So, we thought tonight
we'd take a couple of minutes here
to show you some of those things
I just described.
I'll begin with a little talent here.
I have five quarters,
regulation, American coinage.
There you go.
In my right hand.
Ooh.
Count with me at home.
Ooh, two.
Ooh.
I have to loosen it up a little bit.
Whoa!
Oh, my goodness.
Look at that.
I'm going to eat this entire Carvel cake.
Oh, great.
Okay.
You want to begin now?
Yeah.
Okay.
It's a little frozen, yeah.
Yeah, so it's good.
Have you ever eaten an entire Carvel cake before?
Um, yes.
Madeline Smithberg has a head full of muscles.
Here we go.
Moving her hair.
Wow.
Man, I'm standing right next to you.
It's even more impressive like that.
It's really nice to meet you.
Do it again.
All right.
Goodbye, Madeline.
Bye.
Nice to see you.
See you at the Christmas party.
All right.
Maybe.
I was in a TV commercial once.
Right.
How long ago?
Uh, about ten years ago.
What for?
Coca-Cola.
Coca-Cola.
Did you make money off of the deal?
Yeah, a little bit, yeah.
Okay.
Let's take a look at it now.
How tonight?
Where do we start?
Bobby, is that you?
Thank you very much.
Sure.
Yeah.
Is this safe?
Oh, I guess you can't talk now, can you?
Yikes.
Of course, it's Mary Connelly.
And Mary, you're going to toss balls for us, right?
Throw footballs.
All right.
Go right ahead.
Good luck.
Thank you.
She's a thoroughbred.
She's a machine.
You're going to sing for us?
Yes.
All right.
Barbara, can we have a note, please?
Sure.
Is that for you?
Is that all right?
Yes.
Okay.
Go right ahead.
I can walk like you.
You're going to walk like me.
Yes.
All right.
Let's do that.
I can walk like you.
I can walk like you.
You're going to walk like me?
Yes.
All right.
Let's see that.
Okay.
Here we go.
You're going to walk like me.
You're going to walk like me.
You're going to walk like me.
You're going to walk like me.
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Staff Talent Shows on Letterman, 1990, 1991, & Extended Cut

Coincidentally, earlier today up in the office, I was putting on a little show
for the kids
and I put a firecracker in an egg roll.
How did that...
It was cool. It was really cool. It was like off a bottle rocket.
So it looked like there for a second the egg roll was going to take off.
Yeah.
But of course, it didn't. It's not aerodynamically sound, the egg roll.
And sparks were shooting out of the egg roll.
And if you had just walked in and seen this sparking egg roll,
well, you would have thought you were what? Nuts?
No.
And then it just exploded. It just went kind of...
You know, the way they explode when you've eaten them.
Yes.
You know, ladies and gentlemen, you never really know how much talent you have
right in your own office until you run out of ideas for the show.
Well, this is just what we discovered when we made the desperate decision
to have a staff show and tell.
And I hope all your parents are watching tonight. Please enjoy this, won't you?
This is Chris Albers. How long have you been here, Chris?
Three years now.
What do you do?
I work with Paul Schaefer in the band.
Is it a good job?
Yeah.
All right.
What are you going to do for us today?
I do a little thing with my wing bones.
Okay, wing bones. Here we go. Take a look.
Oh, my God.
Some kind of exotic bird in your shirt.
Ooh, you're making a sick, Chris.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
I guess you're happy there's no more drug testing, huh?
All right, go ahead, Andy. Swallow loud.
I just pray to God he was swallowing them.
Oh, man.
Yeah, like Lee Majors on the old $4 million, $6 million man.
Is it kind of purple and ugly?
No, it's actually quite a nice scar.
Uh-huh.
Let's see.
Wait a minute.
Ooh! Ooh, look at that.
Ooh!
Oh, it's not so bad.
This is our associate producer, Jude Brennan, and, uh, you know what we'd like
for you to
do today is when you pretend like you're just fed up with me, you know, you
take a drag
off the cigarette, and then you say something to indicate that you're just, uh,
really completely fed up.
All right, here we go.
You make me sick.
Oh, yeah.
All right, what do you have to show us?
Well, I do, uh, giant photo blow-ups.
Giant photo blow-ups.
Okay, let's, uh, let's see what you have.
Wow, that's lovely.
I didn't, I didn't realize you had those, uh, those are, like, kind of greenish-blue
eyes.
Very nice.
Uh, do you have any of me?
Uh, no, actually, right now I'm just concentrating on, uh, Regis.
Hey, any good idea?
Like, I need to tell you, this is Deirdre Dodd.
What do you do up here at Deirdre?
I work here in the talent department.
Yeah, talent department.
That's a huge department, isn't it?
Yeah.
And what are you gonna do for us, Deirdre?
Nothing, really.
She's gonna look bored and miserable.
Okay, go ahead, Deirdre, do it.
Great, perfect.
Ta-da!
Very nice.
You'd make a lovely end table.
But what do you do?
Uh, I do my impressionation of you running into me in the hall.
I'll go this way and you just run into me.
All right, okay.
Are we ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's me?
That was you.
That's what you did.
And then you went like this.
Yeah.
Kind of cute.
I wish you were dead.
I'm gonna throw as many pencils as I can into the ceiling.
I have about a thousand here.
I'll just sit right like this.
Don't do this if you live in a trailer.
Ready?
We can edit this like I haven't missed a one.
Sixteen in a row.
That worked up quite a sweat.
What are you gonna do?
I have a song.
Oh, great.
A song.
You ready?
Yeah.
There's no business like show business, like no business I know.
All right, honey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Everything about it is appealing.
Hey, hey, hey.
No, no, no, no, no.
Do me a favor.
Lie down.
Lie down on the couch.
All right.
I'm just gonna take this pillow.
Let me know when you're dead, all right?
Okay.
You're witnessing a homicide here.
Huh?
What?
Yeah, she's dead.
You make everybody sick.
The little office is still in town.
Oh, and of course, we'll be right back here with Tom Wolfe.
All right, so here's what we're gonna do today.
You're gonna get to meet the various staff members who work up here at the 14th
floor every day.
And in addition to meeting them, you're gonna see little talents, little
abilities that they have,
little tricks that they can do for you.
And I'm gonna start, first of all,
I have a very facile mind when it comes to numbers.
I'll give you an example.
I'm thinking now of a number 174, and you're saying to yourself, what is that?
I believe that that's Oprah Winfrey's current weight.
Here, also, look at this.
We found this in the citrus basket.
See, that's an orange.
We don't know how long it's been there.
Can you see that?
See, here it still has the sun-kissed thing on there.
I'm not suggesting you use this to eat or as even a garnish,
but I think you could probably still make pretty nice juice out of that.
We found that in the office.
Okay, now, I'll show you another number trick.
We have staff members in here.
You people, I'll just go around the room, call out three-digit numbers.
I'll put them down on this card, and then, like that, I'll add up the total.
It's an amazing trick that I have.
Give me a number, a three-digit number, anybody.
643.
643, okay.
712.
812, all right.
Maybe take about eight of these.
918.
918, okay.
341.
Those are fast.
I drove one in high school.
Four more.
512.
512, okay.
483.
483.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
Two more.
111.
111, okay.
803.
803, all right.
And I'm just going to...
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
There, that's the total, 44.93.
You can check that at home if you're smart enough.
All right.
Now, also, I'm going to throw as many pencils as I can into the ceiling.
I have about 1,000 here.
I'll just sit right like this.
Don't do this if you live in a trailer.
Ready?
You can count along with me if you want.
1, 2, 3, 4, up, 4, 5, 5, 6, 7.
We can edit this like I haven't missed a 1.
16 in a row.
That worked up quite a sweat.
This is Leslie Namm.
How are you, Leslie?
I'm just fine.
What do you do here?
I work in the talent department.
How long have you been over there?
About a year and a half.
Have you ever been in my office before?
Never.
Swear to God?
Swear to God.
I'm serious.
Have you ever been in here before?
Never.
All right.
And what are you going to do for us now?
I'm going to walk down the wall with my hands.
Okay, let me move the curtain for you.
And if you do this well, we have a lovely orange for you.
Great.
All right.
Here we go.
Am I all right here?
Very nice.
You'd make a lovely end table.
And what's your little activity for us today?
Well, I'm going to put on my Batgirl costume.
She's going to put on her Batgirl costume.
Go right ahead.
How long will this take?
Jill is from Georgia.
She's not a runaway.
And she's going to put on her $6 bat suit for you.
Come right back in.
There she is.
It's a $6 bat suit.
We'll turn around.
Let's see.
Yeah, that's lovely.
It looks like, actually, that it might have cost twice that much.
Next is our production coordinator, Barbara Gaines.
Barbara, what are you going to do for us?
I have this Bat costume.
No, I know.
We've seen the Bat costume.
Take that off.
You're making a fool of yourself already.
You're turning this into a mockery.
All right.
Now, seriously, what are you going to do?
I have a song.
Oh, great.
A song.
Go right ahead.
Yeah.
There's no business like show business, like no business I know.
All right, honey.
Everything about it is appealing.
No, no, no, no.
Do me a favor.
Lie down.
Lie down on the couch.
All right.
I'm just going to take this pillow.
Let me know when you're dead, all right?
Okay.
You're witnessing a homicide here.
Huh?
What?
Yeah.
She's dead.
This is our associate producer, Jude Brennan.
And you know what we'd like for you to do today is when you pretend like you're
just fed up with me,
you know, you take a drag off the cigarette and then you say something to
indicate
that you're just really completely fed up.
All right, here we go.
You make me sick.
Pretty good, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Of course, this man needs no introduction.
This is Paul Schaefer, my musical director for the last 30 years.
I do a little trick where I utter a magic phrase.
Right.
And then dematerialize right before your eyes.
Vanish.
Exactly.
All right.
Okay.
This will be great.
Should I have some kind of lead shield around me?
Limited exposure.
Okay.
All right.
Fine.
Here we go.
All right.
Here's the phrase.
Excuse me while I disappear.
Wow.
Unbelievable.
Now, this, this you could not have done on radio.
Very nice job, Paul.
Thank you very much.
I thought you'd like it.
Yeah.
Would you like me to come back now?
You know, we want to get all the kids on today.
Thanks again.
We'll see you.
Oh, okay.
Bye-bye.
All right.
All right.
What else?
I can walk on my, or stand on my hands.
All right.
Let's see.
Stand on your hands.
Here we go.
Pittsburgh, Kansas.
Yeah.
No H, just G, right?
Right.
Yeah.
All right.
Very good.
How about that, Paul?
Wow.
Truly amazing.
Yeah.
Hey, can I come back now?
No, we got to keep moving.
Oh, this is Chris Albers.
How long have you been here, Chris?
Three years now.
What do you do?
I work with Paul Schaefer in the band.
Is it a good job?
Yeah.
All right.
Great job.
What are you going to do for us today?
I do a little thing with my wing bones.
Okay, wing bones.
Here we go.
Let's take a look.
Oh, my God.
Some kind of exotic bird in your shirt.
Oh, you're making us sick, Chris.
So, what did you think of that, Paul?
He's fired.
Oh, I'm sorry, Chris.
Thanks for dropping by, though.
You make everybody sick.
Oh, my goodness.
I guess you're happy there's no more drug testing, huh?
Uh-huh.
Is it kind of purple and ugly?
No, it's actually quite a nice scar.
Uh-huh.
Let's see.
Wait a minute.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, that's not so bad.
Oh, man.
Yeah, like Lee Majors on the old $4 million, $6 million man.
All right, go ahead, Andy.
Swallow loud.
I just pray to God he was swallowing then.
All right.
What do you have to show us?
Well, I do giant photo blow-ups.
Giant photo blow-ups.
Okay, let's see what you have.
Wow, that's lovely.
I didn't realize he had those greenish-blue eyes.
Very nice.
Do you have any of me?
No, actually, right now I'm just concentrating on Regis.
Hey, any good idea?
You're nothing but a worm.
This, of course, is my personal manager, Jack Rollins.
Jack handles myself, handles a guy who has a learn-to-play bridge video,
and used to handle puppeteers, right?
Right.
Yeah, okay.
I have a stilt-walker high school.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
They don't still have those eight-day bicycle races at the garden, do they?
Well, I don't believe so, no, no.
Jack, you're going to do, I guess, an impression?
I guess so.
Okay, what is it?
Who would you like to see?
Whoever you're comfortable with.
I'm comfortable with Ed Sullivan.
All right, Ed Sullivan, ladies and gentlemen.
Ed Sullivan.
I've got to turn my back.
Oh, sure, of course you do.
That's right.
Get the hair.
Here we go, Ed Sullivan.
Shoot the cuffs.
Yep, all right.
That's it.
That's it, very nice.
What is it you do?
I do my impersonation of you running into me in the hall.
I'll go this way, and you just run into me.
All right, okay.
Are we ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's me?
That was you.
That's what you did, and then you went like this.
Yeah, kind of cute.
She's going to look bored and miserable.
Okay, go ahead, Deirdre, do it.
How's that?
Great, perfect.
I wish you were dead.
Okay, well, there you go.
You got a chance to meet some of the staff members up here,
and now to say goodbye,
and I guess to kind of make everybody sick.
Here once again is Barbara Gaines with
There's No Business Like Showbiz.
Okay, go ahead, Barbara.
There's no business like show business,
like no business I know.
Everything about it is appealing.
Everything the traffic will allow.
Nowhere will you get an extra feeling.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Hey!
You know, ladies and gentlemen,
people ask me from time to time,
how big is your staff?
And I say, jeez, I don't know,
30, 35, 40 people,
and what kind of people are they