Name: The David Letterman Show, October 24, 1980 (final, full)
Uploaded: 2017-07-22T06:00:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The David Letterman Show, October 24, 1980 (final, full)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The David Letterman Show, October 24, 1980 (final, full)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-22. Transcript available.

The David Letterman Show, October 24, 1980 (final, full)

This is NBC.
It's the last David Letterman show live with Edwin Newman with the NBC News
and Frank Owens of the David Letterman Symphony Orchestra.
Plus, David's guests, the David Letterman Show Family of the Air,
including writers, crew, and staff, singer Harv Mann,
and the chorus line from the Rainbow Grill production of Kicks,
and letters from viewers.
And now, a man who has been placed by two game shows,
David Letterman!
And now, a man who has been placed by two games,
a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games,
and a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games,
and a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games,
and a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games,
and a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games,
and a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games,
and a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games.
And now, a man who has been placed by two games.
Thank you. Oh no. Okay, sit down. Thank you. Thank you very much. That's it.
Have a seat. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. What a wonderful welcome.
And welcome to the show. And weren't they lovely, ladies and gentlemen, the
Silverman sisters? Aren't they great?
We'd like to have them here for the whole show, but they've got to be back up
in Fred's office in a couple of minutes, so...
What a wonderful extravaganza we have planned for you folks this morning. Frank
Owens and the Symphony Orchestra, ladies and gentlemen.
Today, uh, today is our last show on the air. Monday, uh, Las Vegas...
Um, alright. Okay. Thank you. Have these people been frisked before they...
And, uh, Las Vegas Gambit will be here Monday. And then, uh, Blockbuster is
following that. So, uh, uh...
No, no, no. No, no. Please don't do that. Now, we, uh...
So, what we're gonna do today, we're gonna spend the whole morning talking, uh,
with the people who have, uh, been on this show
and the people who have made this show a lot of fun over the past six months or
so, and then, uh, everything will be great.
Will Schreiner is here. Rich Hall is here. Ed Newman. Uh, and you may, may not
remember this gentleman,
Harv Mann, who was, uh, with us a couple of months ago. Harv is back. Uh, also,
uh, television history being made here this morning.
The final installment of Coffee Cup Theater.
Uh, all of this plus more fun than humans should be allowed to have. Let's
begin things right away by walking this way and, uh, this way you wouldn't need
the...
Oh, as you may or may not know, Friday is the day that, uh, that we take a look
at the viewer mail, which we have accumulated over the, uh, week.
And we have some letters for you this morning. Actual letters from actual
viewers from actual homes watching on actual television sets.
Wait a minute. Before I get to that, I just got to, uh, thank a bunch of people
who are watching. The folks in Boulder, Colorado, thank you very much for this,
uh, message.
Also, the people in Stone Mountain, Georgia, thank you very much for that.
Uh, the staff of KGW TV in Portland, thank you very much for that.
And also, the folks watching at the, uh, Northwood Institute. Okay, with that
out of the way...
So, it's a... No, it's a legitimate place. It really is. It's a...
Okay. Um...
Famous rivers for 20, Art.
Um...
Where was I? Oh, who cares? What the...
Let's, let's get on with it. We're back to the letters now.
Letter number one comes to us from L.B. Wilkerson, Columbia, South Carolina.
It says here, "One of my greatest pleasures is to go to a restaurant and order
lima beans. Whenever I want to make a good impression, I take my business
contacts to my favorite restaurant where we can munch on these
tiny green morsels of vitamins, minerals, and plant chlorophyll. I love lima so
much that I have changed my name to Lima Beans Wilkerson."
Signed, L.B. Wilkerson, Columbia, South Carolina. Certainly amazing, L.B., you
even sound like a vegetable.
Um... Letter number two comes to us from Barbara Gaines. It says here, "Based
on the fact that your show has been canceled, I have a small request. In one of
your shows, words were put to your opening theme song. My request is to play
the song one more time with the words added."
Well, that's why Mr. Harv Mann is here. He'll be singing the new theme to Las
Vegas Gambit for you a little later in the show.
Letter number three comes to us from J. Miller. "You read a letter from a
person in Taunton, Massachusetts. Do you know what it's like to live in a town
like Taunton? Our big time is to take a
trip to Fall River. We finally get a letter on national network TV, and you
blew our big day by reading it as Taunton, Maine. We hope you never miss Taunton
or Fall River. Hope you never visit Taunton or Fall River."
Well, I'm very sorry, Jay, and to make it up to you, I'd like to have you here
next week as a guest on this show.
Pretty much all you need for a show, isn't it?
The Bible. "The Bible." No, I'm sorry. It's not the Bible. "Can you take it,
Rhode Island?" No. Time's up. "The theme from Chorus Line." No, it's not. "I
can name that tune in four notes." No, I'm sorry.
I just want to get you folks reaccustomed to that sort of thing.
Letter number four comes from Bill Swift, Highland Park, New Jersey. All right!
Bill says, "I caught Ed Newman. If you replay the segment of your show in which
you and Ed were discussing baseball jargon, you will hear Ed use some jargon
himself. When Ed was discussing baseball statistics, he referred to them as
being supered on the screen."
Did he mean superimposed or was it the responsibility of some poor building
superintendent to push them on the screen?
That's a super letter, Bill.
Finally, letter number five. "The other day, as I opened up the show in my
bedroom and did a pretty good monologue, I also introduced the symphony
orchestra. My mother walked in and asked me, 'Who are you?' I said, 'I'm David
Letterman.' My mother said, 'Oh,' and walked out the door." Signed, David
Letterman, Bakersfield, California. "P.S. I'm real sorry to hear that we've
been cancelled."
That's it for the letters. We're going to have plenty of fun here, folks.
Toward the end of the show, I think we have gifts for everybody here, so stay
with us. We'll be right back. Will Schreiner is here.
"Double bumping, double trouble. A double juggle can be double fun."
"The single most favorite double in the world is double good, double good,
double Mitch Gump."
"Double good, double good, double Mitch Gump."
"Double good, double good, double Mitch Gump."
"Double your pleasure with double mint Gump. Double good, double fresh, double
delicious."
"Oh, the single most favorite double in the world is double good, double good,
double Mitch Gump."
"It's the single most favorite double."
"Double good, double good, double Mitch Gump."
"It's the single most favorite double."
"Oh, making spaghetti sauce."
"Extra thick, the way Paul likes it."
"Oh, that's nice."
"From a jar for my son."
"Hope you like it."
"I'm sure we will."
"Ragu extra thick and zesty is all natural. No preservatives, no starch."
"Ragu must use extra tomatoes."
"Mama, taste."
"Very thick."
"Thick."
"Mmm, very good."
"Well?"
"Uh, not bad."
"Not bad."
"All natural ragu, extra thick and zesty spaghetti sauce."
"That's Italian."
"Who gets your stickiest baking dishes, America?"
"The greasiest frying pans."
"Your dirtiest pots."
"Who else?"
"S.O.S."
"Because nothing cleans burnt on, stuck on, splattered on messes."
"Faster or easier than super grease cutting S.O.S."
"No wonder people use more than two million S.O.S. pads every day."
"We deserve every dirty pan we get."
"Mrs. Munson, do you have arthritis?"
"Yes, I do."
"Then watch this pain reliever comparison."
"What for? They're all the same."
"Are they?"
"Two regular tablets, 650 milligrams."
"These other pain relievers also, 650 milligrams."
"650 milligrams."
"But this one is different."
"800 milligrams."
"Anacin."
"Anacin has more pain relief."
"And a special combination of ingredients."
"Anacin gives hours of relief from minor arthritis pain."
"I'll try, Anacin."
"Get the Anacin difference."
"Hi there."
"Welcome back to the show, folks."
"And while you were gone, Mr. Silverman poked his head in and said, 'Just
kidding.'"
"Right now, I'd like you to meet--oh, first of all, before we introduce you,
Will, I have to say hello to the people in Toledo who are watching this program,
as I understand it, at one o'clock Sunday morning, which would be very late
Saturday night or early Sunday morning.
I don't know how that happens.
Apparently, some sort of cosmic time warp there in Toledo.
"Right now, I'd like you to meet a good friend and a regular member of the
David Letterman family.
Here's Will Schreiner, ladies and gentlemen."
"Hi, Will."
"Nice to see you, Will."
"We were going to spend a second here talking, but I think we're running short
on time, aren't we?"
"Yeah, so I got a videotape."
"You have some videotape, and what are we going to look at?"
"As always, I bring a little videotape."
"We always do."
"Yeah, and this being a live television show, sometimes things have gone wrong
in the past."
"Gone haywire."
"So, you know, I went together and put a few of them together, and I thought if
we just watched the monitors, we'd take a look at some of the things that
happened live on this television show over the past months."
"I'll try not to goof up the phones for us."
"Hone calls for us."
"Well, Dave, you have a look at that."
"Anybody here ever been to STEM, North Carolina?"
"I have, Dave."
"Fascinating stuff."
"You don't look worried yet."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you."
"These are the latest things everybody seems to be using."
"I think I'll wait until they get the bugs out of them before I buy one, though."
"No."
"I think I'll wait until they get the bugs out of them before I buy one, though."
"I think I'll wait until they get the bugs out of them before I buy one, though."
"I think I'll wait until they get the bugs out of them before I buy one, though."
"Hone calls for us."
"Hone calls for us."
"Fascinating stuff."
"You don't look worried yet."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you."
"These are the latest things everybody seems to be using."
"I think I'll wait until they get the bugs out of them before I buy one, though."
There's William Reilly doing his duck impression.
"Plenty of fun, huh?"
"I knew exactly how to take command of the situation."
"All right, once more, or should we just go on with it?"
"Let's go to the commercial?"
"Yeah."
"Okay.
"Wasn't that plenty of fun?"
"Mr. Corey, I for one am so happy that everything is fine with you, and I
appreciate you talking
with us this morning."
"Yes, I always enjoy your show.
I had a rumor that you were going off the air and I..."
Oh my gosh.
Ladies and gentlemen, what you're witnessing here is a good idea has gone awry.
Yes, and a fun-filled surprise turning into an incredible screw-up right here.
"What are you going to have in? It's coming our way."
"I don't..."
"Heaven can't wait."
"I don't..."
"I don't..."
"Heaven can't wait."
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
"It's the strangest thing I've ever seen."
"Welcome back to the show.
A minute ago we talked with her.
Now we're going to get to hear her sing.
Here again is Judy Collins.
"Somebody does it better than she does this one."
"You know, ladies and gentlemen, what you've just witnessed is a screw-up."
"You've got to bring a microphone."
"Anybody in the audience have a microphone."
"Take the p