Name: Late Show #1, August 30, 1993, Full, Stereo
Uploaded: 2017-08-06T22:34:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Late Show #1, August 30, 1993, Full, Stereo' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Late Show #1, August 30, 1993, Full, Stereo' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-06. Transcript available.

Late Show #1, August 30, 1993, Full, Stereo

...view of Late Show with David Letterman, right here on CBS.
And our Maury Alters live for us at the Ed Sullivan Theater with a sneak
preview.
All right, Maury, let's hear about it.
Well, first of all, I've got to tell you, there's the marquee behind me.
The show is history in that it's in the can and on tape, except America hasn't
seen it yet.
And I have to share one thought with you.
Whether you're with CBS, NBC, or ABC, it's just exciting to see one more little
chapter
in New York's broadcasting history.
And I wasn't the only excited guy here.
Where are you from?
North Carolina.
Not all the way from, just for this.
Yeah.
Why?
Because Dave's great.
Yep, they love their Dave.
Lined up all the way around the block, they did.
Recognize this fellow from the back going in?
Tom Brokaw, NBC News, crossing network lines, because that's what friends are
for.
The little bar next door was for network brass to watch a feed of the taping,
which was just fine with Letterman, who didn't want a studio audience full of
station managers
and the like.
He did want real live fans, which is what he got, who in turn got to be a part
of broadcasting
history.
What was the best part?
Dave.
And you're now seeing a few of the ten or so seconds Letterman's people would
let us show
of that historic first show.
But we have our ways of finding out.
So?
Great show.
Dave's number one.
Did he do pet tricks?
No, he didn't do pet tricks.
He looks like he got more hair, actually.
The whole thing was they came out and said a few words.
He did top ten lists.
He said this is the top ten?
Top ten list, yes.
Bill Murray was excellent.
He was excellent.
We do hear, for instance, that Bill Murray showed no respect for Letterman's spiffy
gazillion dollar new set.
Other highlights?
Billy Joe!
Billy Joe!
I thought it was better than Cats, and I would recommend my family to come see
it time and
time again.
But you'd like to hear more from the average viewer.
Do you think this will be a winner?
Oh boy, based on what I saw tonight, it's wonderful.
And no doubt he'd like to hear more from the average viewer, too.
And sometime tomorrow morning, he will, when the first numbers come in from the
Nielsen
people, who will be monitoring what lots of average folks like you and me are
doing when
the clock strikes 1135 tonight.
The ratings of Channel 2 News are going to go up.
Through the ceiling?
Oh, you better believe it.
Number one?
Yeah.
Number one.
Maybe I can spot for you.
I got one.
Tune in in the morning, pal.
And hopefully that man will never have to embarrass himself like that again,
because of the
millions of viewers who will watch late at night your program, Channel 2 News
at 11,
and leave it set right there when, of course, Cindy Hsu and I in the morning
will fill you
in on all the latest Letterman stuff, as well as the rest of the news of the
world.
And I got my plug-in, and back to you.
Yeah, you're up pretty late, Maury.
Are you going to make it?
I don't know.
Everybody's promoting their own show here.
Yeah.
Thanks, Maury.
See you later.
All right, Frank, how are you doing, huh?
Pretty good.
The discs cost about $60 apiece, and the players run from several hundred to $800.
A little expensive hobby, but you can have a lot of fun.
Price could go down.
Who knows?
That's Channel 2 News at 11 for this Monday night.
I'm Dana Tyler.
And I'm Ernie and Es.
So stay tuned next for the premiere of Late Show with David Letterman.
We've been waiting for that, haven't we?
Have a good night.
See you tomorrow.
Have fun.
This is CBS.
From the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's the Late Show with David
Letterman.
Tonight, Bill Murray and Billy Joel.
Plus, Paul Schaefer and the CBS Orchestra.
Ladies and gentlemen, one of the greatest novels is a fabulous boy prodigy.
The most amazing of all the chimp acts that have ever come to show business.
He said, as you recall, everybody remembers this one.
Here's an act that'll scare the life out of you.
From China.
He's been in India.
He's been all over the world.
Just back from Las Vegas, the Italian Casanova.
A Texas friend of mine, my handsome Italian paisano, today's greatest living
American.
Here's the man I invited to Christmas dinner.
David Letterman.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Oh, that's very kind of you.
Oh, that's very kind of you.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Please.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You know, ladies and gentlemen, all in here.
Hang on a second.
If you think about it, all I really did was take the summer off.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Welcome to the show.
My name is Dave, and I checked this now with the CBS attorneys, and legally I
can continue
to call myself Dave, so I...
Yes, sir.
I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but there was some discussion when
I left
my old job at NBC.
I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but there was some discussion when
I left
my old job at NBC.
I was going to say, hey, I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but there
was
some discussion when I left my old job at NBC.
I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but there was some discussion when
I left
my old job at NBC.
I don't know if you're aware of this or not.
I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but there was some discussion when
I left
my old job at NBC, there was talk that maybe they would sue me if this show was
anything
like the old show.
And frankly, I never took it very seriously, because for one thing, I thought,
well, the
legal department at NBC has their hands all tied up defending that Dateline NBC
show,
so they're not...
And I just, I never took it seriously, and then this morning, I wake up, and
next to me
in bed is the head of a peacock, so I don't know.
I would like to thank the good folks here at CBS for taking the low-key
approach to promoting
this show.
The Gulf War didn't get this kind of coverage.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a promo.
This is the actual show.
I'm very excited about working for CBS.
I just found out, in addition to doing this show every night, it turns out next
week I
get to kill a guy on "Murder She Wrote," so I can't...
You folks are now in a part of television and entertainment history here in the
Ed Sullivan
Theater.
It's a marvelous, wonderful edifice, and we couldn't be happier to be here.
And I'm telling you something, there is a palpable sense of history here.
And a couple of weeks ago, the construction people were finishing up the
renovation on the building,
and they busted through a wall downstairs, and they found a 45-year-old woman
still down
there screaming, "Ringo."
It's unbelievable.
This is kind of odd.
Remember that woman who kept breaking into my home?
Well, she started breaking into my home again, but now she's doing it an hour
earlier.
I have no idea.
Why?
I have no idea what that...
You know, every time you applaud that like that, it makes me feel I may have
won a Tony.
Thank you.
Other than that, I had a pretty good summer, kind of relaxing.
I think I must have gone two months without saying "Butta Fuco."
So I'm resting, ready to go.
From the NBC Nightly News, it's our old friend, Conor Borco.
Dave, big night for you.
I wanted to come across the street and say hello and, you know, wish you well,
wish you reasonably well.
But I'm a little shocked, frankly.
Dave, I'm kind of disappointed.
The fact is these last two jokes are the intellectual property of NBC.
Who would have thought you would ever hear the words "intellectual property"
and "NBC" in the same sentence?
It's stunning, isn't it?
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wonderful program tonight.
Bill Murray, Billy Joel.
You bet.
Do me a favor now.
Say hello to our good friend, Mr. Paul Schaefer.
Paul.
Paul.
would ever hear the words intellectual property and NBC in the same sentence.
Stunning, isn't it?
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wonderful program tonight.
Bill Murray, Billy Joel.
You bet.
Do me a favor now.
Say hello to our good friend, Mr. Paul Schaefer.
Paul.
Oh, nice to see you.
Good to have you here, kid.
Hi, Dave.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to Old Broadway, baby.
It's a nutty street.
Welcome to it.
Thank you very much, Paul, and thank you, everybody in the band.
You know, I guess it was in February of this year,
and we were trying to decide whether we were going to do this show here in New
York City
or whether we were going to go to California and do it.
And one day, we came to the theater, and it was cold, nasty, rainy, chilly,
ugly day,
and we came into the Ed Sullivan Theater, and frankly, in those days, this
theater was kind
of a dump.
It was like big choking clouds of smoke and standing water, and so obviously,
it appealed to us right away.
But the transformation that this facility has undergone since those early days
is truly a thing of wonder.
And we thought maybe tonight you people would get a kick out of looking at how
the theater was back there in February
and the progress and the wonderful job that has taken place virtually nonstop
since then
to transform it into this wonderful new facility.
Go ahead, Hal.
Roll the videotape of the theater in progress.
"I had a dream.
I had a dream.
I had an awesome dream.
I had an awesome dream.
People in the park playing games in the dark.
And what they played was a masquerade.
From behind the walls of doubt, a voice was crying out.
Say you, say you, say me, say for always, that's the way it should be."
"That's the way it should be."
"Say you, say me, say you together, truly."
"As we go down the light-blown-some highway, through the highway, through the
highway, through the highway."
"There's nothing to bring it to."
"That helping hand is someone who understands."
"When you feel you're lost in love, you've got to see tonight."
So, very impressive.
I want you folks to help me welcome and really say thank you to the men and
women who worked nonstop, tirelessly, around the clock,
and who did such a wonderful job renovating this theater.
Folks, the people who did all the hard work, our construction workers.
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Paul, bring them in here."
"Okay, you folks did a wonderful job.
You have my undying gratitude.
Now get back out on the streets
and start hollering at girls."
We have to pause for a commercial,
ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back here with Bill Murray.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Paul.
Welcome back to the show.
On the program tonight, Bill Murray.
Of course, Bill Murray.
Of course, Bill Murray.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Paul.
Welcome back to the show.
On the program tonight, Bill Murray.
Bill Murray, of course.
And Billy Joel.
I want to take a second here
to say a couple of things about Ed S