Name: Chris Evert, Wolfgang Puck, Ken Ober on Letterman, Sept. 14, 1989 (full)
Uploaded: 2017-08-14T05:42:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Evert, Wolfgang Puck, Ken Ober on Letterman, Sept. 14, 1989 (full)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Evert, Wolfgang Puck, Ken Ober on Letterman, Sept. 14, 1989 (full)' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-14. Transcript available.

Chris Evert, Wolfgang Puck, Ken Ober on Letterman, Sept. 14, 1989 (full)

Fall car buying tips on the next USA Today.
From New York, logically there's no good reason for it.
It's "Late Night" with David Letterman.
Tonight, tennis star Chris Everett,
host of "Remote Control" Ken Ober,
and chef Wolfgang Puck,
plus Paul Schaefer,
and the world's most dangerous band.
And now, a man who wants to remind everybody
to drive safely and observe the posted speed limits,
David Letterman!
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Late Night" with David Letterman.
"Oh, man!"
"It's a very unusual reaction.
The audience is applauding.
No show, no guests.
I like the sound of that.
I think you got something there.
Michael Jackson, I read this in the paper,
has signed a huge contract
with this athletic footwear company,
Los Angeles, I guess it is, LA Gear.
And I thought it was odd
and the spokesman for the company said
that they did some marketing research
and they feel that...
There's a guy winding up garden hose over there.
Look at that, he's just...
You know, we'll be done in about an hour.
Maybe you could...
Just a guy over there doing this,
like he's out watering his lawn.
Come on, just get it strung out here and turn it on.
Yeah.
So LA Gear feels that Michael Jackson
is like the perfect spokesman.
They did some research and they found out
that their customers tend to be people
make about $20 million a year,
had five or six cosmetic surgical procedures,
and live alone with a chimp.
So they think that he will be...
You know, wait a minute.
You know, in lieu of the fact we have no guests,
maybe watching the guy coil up the cable...
Bring him.
Bring him back in.
Go ahead, finish.
Go ahead and...
Let me see what you're doing here.
Go ahead and coil it up there.
Just like that.
All right.
Go ahead, you want to coil it up a little bit for us?
Yeah.
Is there any tricks that you use
when you're coiling up that cable?
No.
Is that coax?
Yes.
All right.
You want to finish it up a little bit?
No, the outside right.
The outside right?
What about this?
It should be tidied up just a little bit.
Do you mind if I touch it,
or is that a union problem?
How do you do?
Nice to see you.
I promise you,
when I'm down here, I won't look.
Okay?
Okay.
Thank you very much.
Nice job.
Thank you.
Is she here now?
Yes.
Okay.
Yesterday, Democratic mayoral candidate David Dinkins,
you know, he won the big Democratic primary yesterday for mayor.
Here in New York City.
And yesterday, he made a moving plea for racial peace and understanding,
and immediately following that,
a furious Al Sharpton demanded equal time for an opposing point of view.
So I thought...
That is the elevators out there.
I guess she'll be coming in the elevators, won't she?
And finally, the Zsa Zsa Gabor trial continues in Beverly Hills, California.
Yesterday, Zsa Zsa was quoted as saying that she does not want to go to prison
because she is afraid of lesbians.
You know, don't worry Zsa Zsa, even in prison, lesbians have standards.
So I don't think there's a problem there.
There's really no trick to it, Paul.
You just coil it up and put it on the floor.
It's lovely.
Yeah.
We may need it later.
We'd have to uncoil it.
That's right.
That's right.
Well, we'll have the man come back and uncoil it for us.
Great.
Ah, boy.
Oh, here's our good friend, Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Say hello.
Hello, Anton.
You got what?
You know, I have something.
First of all, Anton, I think the work that you kids are doing in the subways
and on the streets to keep this city safe, God bless you, and continue good
luck with that.
What?
That was funny.
In other words, he's like a guardian angel.
Yeah, a guardian angel.
Yeah, yeah.
But see, here's the real deal.
We thought today, because we're getting close to the end of summer, school has
started, we've passed Labor Day, so a lot of people think that summer is over,
but it really doesn't end for maybe like another week.
And we thought since we're at the end of summer today, we would take care of
the summer.
We would take our cameras up to Central Park to the Loeb, what is it, Loeb Boathouse,
Loeb Lake, Lake Loeb, 72nd Street, it's the Loeb Boathouse, it's the lake in
Central Park.
And we would watch people renting their rowboats and sailing around and having
a good time, and we'd chat with these people, and it would be a lot of fun.
Sounded like a lovely idea.
You know, even as I described it to myself, I'm enjoying it.
I can see it.
And, as you know, it's been raining all day.
Here in New York City, we've had 97 one-hundredths of one-inch of accumulated
rain.
And I guess now it has finally stopped raining.
So, as you can understand, Paul, and the vast North American viewing audience,
quite likely there's not much going on at the lake.
I can understand that.
Yeah.
So, in fact, there it is.
There it is.
There's the lake.
That's the lake.
This is wrong.
It's a beehive of activity.
That's a lovely shade of green, that water, is it?
You're hoping to boat some radioactive trout.
Somebody is there.
That's our own Larry Bud Melman.
Larry, can you hear me?
Hi, Larry.
You can hear me?
Yes.
What is the weather like up there now?
Beautiful.
Uh-huh.
Nice and cool.
It's what?
Cool.
He's doing his owl imitation.
For a minute there, I thought I heard a loon.
No, no.
It's cool.
He says it's cool.
Have you seen any bodies bobbed at the top yet, Calvary?
Not so far, David.
I'm waiting, though.
Okay.
Okay.
Anybody renting boats?
Okay, fine.
Anybody renting boats?
Okay, fine.
I say, anybody renting boats?
Yes.
Yes.
What is the weather like up there now?
Beautiful.
Nice and cool.
It's what?
Cool.
He's doing his owl imitation.
No, no, no.
For a minute there, I thought I heard a loon.
No, no.
It's cool.
He says it's cool.
Have you seen any bodies bobbed at the top yet, Calvary?
Not so far, David.
I'm waiting, though.
Okay.
Anybody renting boats?
Okay, fine.
I say, anybody renting boats?
Uh, no, not too many.
Just us little people.
Ever seen a guy coil cable?
No.
Yeah.
It should be interesting.
Huh?
What?
It should be interesting.
Well, try not to catch cold up there on the lake.
I'll try not to.
Okay.
Okay.
We'll be checking back in with you periodically.
Oh, thank you.
Uh-huh.
Let me ask you something, Larry.
Are you actually in the Navy?
No, not really.
Uh-huh.
You're damn good in the uniform.
I see.
Eight thousand dollars for that.
Well, Hal, by the way, Hal, if you detect the slightest bit of activity up
there on the lake, let us know immediately.
Absolutely.
All right.
In the meantime, we'll do our top ten here and then get on with tonight's.
Is she here yet, Morty?
Not yet.
What?
Loads of traffic.
Traffic from where?
Very bad traffic.
Yeah, but coming from where?
It's like three blocks away, the hotel, right?
Yeah, she's coming from uptown, yeah.
Coming from uptown.
Where uptown?
She came in from Long Island and she's coming in from Nebraska.
I see.
Yeah, okay.
But she should be here.
She will be here.
What time was she supposed to be here?
Supposed to be here at five o'clock.
Five o'clock?
And it's, oh man, it's 45 minutes after five.
She's late.
She is late.
Man, it's like a steel trap, this guy.
You know?
He assessed the situation just like that.
He listened to all of the arguments, pro and con, and he summed it up in three
words.
She's late.
Two words.
Here we go.
Man, it's like a steel trap, this guy.
You know?
He assessed the situation just like that.
He listened to all of the arguments, pro and con,
and he summed it up in three words.
She's late.
Two words.
Here we go.
Excuse me, Dave.
Yes, what is it, Hal?
Things seem to be picking up on the lake.
Oh, great.
Let's go back up there in Central Park and see what...
Okay, here we go.
Let's...
Wow!
My God!
Man alive!
It appears to be some sort of regatta.
Yeah.
That's just amazing.
Facts out there.
See, that goes to show you just never know about life.
It brightened up out there.
Exactly, sure.
Cleared up.
Thanks, Hal.
Nice job.
Now let's go back to the top ten list here
from Oklahoma City.
Top ten reasons Exxon is leaving Alaska.
You know, they've wrapped up their big cleanup.
Top ten reasons now they're leaving Alaska.
Number ten.
Sometimes had to drive miles to find a liquor store.
Number nine.
They're planning a big oil spill off California.
Number...
Number eight.
Going to start a really big job
of cleaning up Exxon Station restrooms.
Number...
Number seven.
Somebody thought they saw Bigfoot.
Number six.
Just got contract to take make-up off Tammy Faye Baker.
Number five.
Decided black gunk covering coastline and wildlife
actually looks kind of cool.
Number four.
Big party this weekend at Captain Hazelwood's.
Well, you don't want to miss that.
Number three.
Wanted to be there to give Zsa Zsa all the support she needs.
Number two.
Time to face the fact that Batman is not going to answer their bat signal.
And the number one reason Exxon is leaving Alaska.
Have to move on to screw up bigger and better things.
There you go.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you who is on the program tonight
and then we'll tell you who's actually here.
From the game show Remote Control on MTV.
Have you ever seen this show, Paul?
Remote Control?
Yeah, I have seen it.
Kind of cute, isn't it?
It is a cute little show.
Ken Ober.
Is he here?
There you go.
He's here.
Wolfgang Puck, internationally renowned restaurateur.
Is he here?
He's here.
He is here.
Great.
All right.
We got a show.
So, you know, I'm, oh, look, she's, she's here.
She'll see everybody's here.
All right.
We'll be, uh, we'll be right back, folks.
Oh, we got us a show.
If you're, uh, just joining us, it's been one of our best shows ever.
Uh, our first guest is the winningest player in the history of tennis.
In the history of the sport