Name: Andy Kaufman Complete Collection on Letterman, 1982-83+, Recut 3
Uploaded: 2017-11-04T02:53:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andy Kaufman Complete Collection on Letterman, 1982-83+, Recut 3' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andy Kaufman Complete Collection on Letterman, 1982-83+, Recut 3' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-04. Transcript available.

Andy Kaufman Complete Collection on Letterman, 1982-83+, Recut 3

I told this to the studio audience moments ago, and I'm going to tell it to you
folks at home now.
If this show is on the air for the rest of the century, there's never going to
be a better chance to see a fine example of what we're doing than right here
tonight.
We have such an assortment of interesting guests and fascinating items that
just hang on to yourselves because...
Come to think of it, that's a much better show than I had planned, so why don't
we all do that now?
And then we'll hang on to each other.
You know a show is going to be good when the host starts doing this.
Let's get back to business, shall we? We're not here to have fun, for heaven's
sake, so stop that. I will.
Mr. Rogers is here.
A fascinating, wonderfully talented, beautiful human being, a wonderful, good-looking
person.
Boy, what an introduction, huh?
Julie Andrews is also here.
Plus, Andy Kaufman. Now, there's a show, huh?
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Welcome back to the Motown story.
Andy Kaufman is one of the stars of the ABC television series, Taxi.
He is also a professional busboy, a professional wrestler, a stand-up comedian,
and one of the finest Elvis Presley impersonators in the business.
Please welcome Andy Kaufman.
You look, uh, folks are crazy about you. You look good. You look like you feel
good.
Yes.
You feel good. And the reason I mention that, maybe you don't want me to bring
this up, but the last time you and I appeared on a program together, about two
years ago, you were a shell, a shadow of your actual self.
You had fallen on hard times, and things are obviously better now, huh?
Things are much, much better now.
Well, that's good. That's good.
Uh, Andy had some problems, and you were kind enough to be very frank with us
one morning.
I always believe in being honest.
Mm-hmm.
I always believe in telling the truth.
Mm-hmm.
And if I'm going through a bad time, then I have nothing to hide. I'll just
talk about it.
Yeah.
And if I'm going through a good time, I'll talk about that, too.
Well, fortunately, we're in, I guess, a good time now, huh?
Yeah, it's a good time for me.
Okay.
Um...
I think so.
What I wanted to talk to you about, uh, now, um...
You, uh...
When I first knew you, a regular feature of your performance was your Elvis
Presley impression.
Yes.
And then you stopped doing it?
I stopped when Elvis Presley passed away, because I felt it just wasn't right,
you know?
And what I found that, uh, during the next year, uh, after he passed away, I
found people who had known him,
who really knew him and worked with him, and were known to know him,
would constantly come up to me and tell me that, uh, he had always, um, said
that out of all the people that imitated him,
he liked me the most, and that it would be okay for me to imitate him.
And I said, "I don't know."
Finally, Johnny Cash, who was a friend of Elvis Presley, had a Christmas
special about a year after Elvis' death,
and asked me to do the imitation from the Grand Ole Opry on his Christmas
special.
And I thought, "Okay, I'll do it, but I'm a little scared. I don't know if it's
right."
And I did it, and the crowd down there in Nashville just loved it.
And ever since then, I do it every once in a while just as a special thing.
So, things where you were quite well-received doing it. That's good, huh?
Yeah.
Now, there was, um, a show Saturday Night Live a couple of weeks back where you
were doing it,
and then, um, I didn't see the show. I saw the tape of what happened.
You sort of stopped in the middle, and...
Well, that's because they asked me to do the imitation, and I said,
"Well, this is very special to me, and I just want to make sure it's done tastefully."
Mm-hmm.
So, I did the imitation, but then I was asked to do the sketch where I asked,
as Elvis, I asked two girls to wrestle each other with nothing but their panties
on.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, I said...
Now, this is a reference?
This is a reference to a book by Albert Goldman.
Right.
It's supposed to be an expose of Elvis' personal life.
And, uh, I didn't want to do the sketch, but, you know, then they pressured me
into it, you know.
They being...
Saturday Night Live pressured me into it.
"Don't do this. We'll ruin you. You'll never work again in this business. We'll
ruin your reputation."
And he said, "No, yeah, really. We'll spread it around that you're hard to work
with.
You'll never get another job in this business again," you know.
So I said, "Okay, okay, I'll do it. I'll do it."
I mean, you know, really.
So, uh, so I did the sketch, but I just couldn't find it within my conscience
to continue with it.
So I took off my Elvis Presley wig, I looked in the camera, and I said,
"Ladies and gentlemen, I can't do... I just don't do this.
This is a reference to that book by Albert Goldman.
I don't approve of that book, and I don't approve of what I just did."
And now, as a result, I hear that Albert Goldman wants to sue me.
And, uh, I, I, I tried to, um, you know, get him.
I, I said, "Well, he wants to sue me. I don't think I did anything wrong, you
know.
But if he wants to sue me, let's talk about it."
I knew I was doing your show. I said, "Well, let's get him here."
You know, let's talk about it. Let's debate.
Let's debate. I say he, he, I don't approve of the book, and he apparently does,
I guess.
So I said, let's, because he wrote it. You know, but, so I said, "Well, let's,
let's debate.
Let's have a debate on the show." Well, you know what?
He wouldn't, he wouldn't do it. He refused to appear on the same show with me.
He said he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. He doesn't, he doesn't,
uh, want to debate me.
Well, I say this, I think that the man is afraid to face me in the debate, okay?
I think it's because I'm alive. The man does not want to, it's true.
Let me, let me just, let me ask you before you, I know you're building to
something here, but have you actually read the book?
No, I've read parts of the book. No, I haven't. Look, I don't need to read the
book to know that, uh, what it says.
And, and all I know is that he's trying to destroy Elvis Presley's image.
And I'm, I'm not, I'm not a fanatic or anything. It's just that I know that as
a teenager, I was in a lot of trouble.
And when I started idolizing Elvis Presley, it changed my life, because it gave
me something to look up to.
And there are a lot of thousands of people who look up to that image, and this
man's trying to destroy that image.
And I just would like the chance to debate with him on the show.
And I just think that all he likes to do is write books about people who are
dead, who cannot defend themselves,
and when someone who's alive, who can talk back to him, challenges him, he
chickens out.
Mm-hmm.
I think he's a wimp.
And I just want to tell you.
Okay.
And if I may, can I say something to him right now?
Okay, now, uh, okay, we want to look at something else, but quickly go ahead
and say this.
Okay, I just want to say, where's, Mr. Goldman, if you're watching this show
right now, I'd like to say this in front of millions of people who are watching
this, just so they know that I'm, that I'm challenging you right now.
I would like you, I think that you're a wimp, I think you're afraid of me, I
think that you're afraid to face me in a debate on a one-to-one situation,
because all you like to do is, is, uh, write about people who can't answer you
back.
Well, I'm challenging you right here, I will debate you on this show, anytime,
anyplace, I will fly from anywhere in the country, no matter where I am, I'll
fly in here, and I'll debate you on this show.
Let's see if you can answer that challenge. I don't think you will, because I
think you're afraid, I think you're a wimp.
I, I understand you also enjoy gardening.
Now, we, we, we want to talk now a little bit about your, uh, wrestling career.
Okay.
We have some videotape, and tell us what we're going to take a look here.
Okay.
Andy Kaufman, wrestling, who and where.
Okay, uh, I, what started out as a joke a few years ago as part of my concert
act, uh, now has become such a serious thing, I've gotten, I've, I offer $1,000,
it was $500, now it's $1,000, to any woman who could beat me in a wrestling
match.
And this challenge to anyone in the country, or in the world, actually.
Uh, it started as a joke, and now people are taking it so seriously, I'm
getting challenges from all over the country, so I've started wrestling in
professional arenas, the kind like Madison Square Garden, and with professional,
on professional wrestling shows with professional wrestlers.
And, uh, this is a tape from just one of my matches I've had in Memphis,
Tennessee.
Memphis, Tennessee, Andy Kaufman.
First I'm challenging them, then the match.
Okay, fine.
Shut up, I'm talking right now!
I'm talking right now!
I'm talking right now!
I want silence when I speak!
Okay, now just be quiet!
I will pay $1,000 to any woman that will beat me in this ring!
I will not only do that, I will shave my head completely bald if I am beaten
here!
And, any woman that will beat me as an extra prize, she will get to marry me!
Right here!
She will take my hand in marriage! I will offer my hand in marriage if she
beats me right here!
Well, here we go, with the first challenge, Andy Kaufman, undefeated!
Coming in here after a successful defense, in an unusual 18-minute match from
Atlantic City's Playboy Club,
Kaufman going against Julie Jackson of Memphis, Tennessee!
Remember the rules state that Kaufman must be pinned!
He does not have to pin her!
We are now in the first 30 seconds of the three-minute match!
And Kaufman!
On top, going for a pin!
One, two, three!
And that's it!
Andy, you've turned out to be quite a fine young man!
Thank you!
I just want to say that now there's an inter-gender wrestling commission that
they've awarded me with this championship belt!
I'm now the world inter-gender wrestling champion!
And this is not a joke!
This is really true!
I am wrestling all over the country, defending my title!
I'm undefeated!
This is covered in sports pages in every city that I do it!
He's not kidding!
This is molded plastic!
No, it's real!
It's real!
Yeah, that's nice!
It's a real belt!
And this is Playboy magazine!
In the February issue, they covered a ten-page spread of a wrestling match I
had against one of their centerfolds!
In this article they said that I cheated and they wanted me to have a rematch
and she wanted me to have a rematch so that she says she could beat me and that
I didn't win fair and square!
Now look, David, I won that match fair and square!
She had her own referee, she says I used a cricket referee, it was her referee!
I called them immediately upon reading this article, I said, "Playboy, I will
give her a rematch!"
You're gonna call these people wimps too?
No, no, no, no, no!
I'm just saying, I'm just saying that Playboy, they challenged me to a rematch
in the magazine, they're lying to the public!
Because they challenged me to a rematch, I called them up and said, "I want a
rematch!"
And they wouldn't even, they said, "No way! No way!"
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I will challenge students, but any time, any time, seriously, any time!
Any time, baby!
We have with us tonight a gentleman who has made some of the finest motion
pictures ever, Martin Scorsese is with us!
A woman who operates a radio talk show here in Manhattan every Sunday night,
and she deals with sexual problems, people call in and tell her their sexual
problems, and she handles it!
No, see, that just slipped out!
She answers the problems for them on the phone!
It's a very popular show, and we're very pleased to have this woman with us
tonight!
Now, also, Tony Clifton is here, the world-famous Tony Clifton!
As you may or may not know, there is some conjecture as to the actual identity
of this human.
We'll find out a little bit more about that later, but he is here.
Oh, my! Thank you, Paul!
Tony Clifton has just completed a very successful engagement at Harrah's in Tahoe,
has recently opened f