Name: Bonnie Hunt's "The Building," Complete Collection, 1993
Uploaded: 2017-11-06T07:20:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bonnie Hunt's "The Building," Complete Collection, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bonnie Hunt's "The Building," Complete Collection, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-06. Transcript available.

Bonnie Hunt's "The Building," Complete Collection, 1993

To be continued...
Oh, that I'd like to keep. Can I just put it in the drawer? I'm not going to
hang it up or anything.
Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. I didn't see your veil, Bonnie. It's beautiful. Oh, jeez.
Holly, you know, you shouldn't have that out. Why not? Well, it is white and
that could be a problem. Shut up.
I got it.
You're going to have to talk to him sooner or later.
Well, that's where you're wrong. Philadelphia story. Catherine Hepburn hung up
on Cary Grant 16 times. You know what happened at the end?
What?
Got married. There you go.
There you go. Oh, my God. What? Senior prom! Oh, my God. You're me and Brad. Oh,
my God. I don't know. Remember my dress? Yeah. It was sexy. Beautiful. So my
mom sewed that dicky in it. I don't know what to do. That's right.
What the heck is that? That's Big Tony. I thought you were kidding. No, he gets
revenge on every sound he hears. Oh, that'll be interesting. Oh, Brad lost a
job at the paper in Big Tony. He's married, two kids. Brad, he got a new
roommate, Stan, an actor. Oh, there's a new washer in the laundry room, too.
Buckle load. Buckle load? Buckle load. Buckle load. It's a new word here now,
isn't it? Buckle load? Yes.
Ron? Yeah. I'm really sorry about your wedding being called off. I'll meet
somebody else. No, I'll meet somebody else. No, I'll meet somebody else. Well,
we need somebody else. No, no, no, no, no. I'll hang out with you. I'll bow
that shirt. I'll meet somebody else. Oh.
I got this great veil out of it, right? That's right. Remember what Nancy Najewski
did with her veil? She got divorced. I know she got divorced. All right. Do you
remember what she did with her veil? No. You don't remember what she did with
her veil? No.
You have no idea what she did with her veil? No. You have no recollection.
There's no idea in your mind. You have no memory at all. There's nothing you
can ever think of. There's no way you can ever think of it. There's nothing.
She made a planter out of it.
She was always so handy, wasn't she? Very, very handy. She lacked everything in
my school. She did nap for me and stuff like that. I just saw her.
Nancy? Yeah. She didn't ask about me, did she? Yeah. You didn't tell her I was
back? No. I told her you were here, you know. That means back here, Holly.
Listen, this is real important to me, okay? Whatever you do, don't tell anybody
else and don't tell anyone that Jim met someone. Okay. I'm just gonna leave my
ring on until I think of something I want people to know. All right.
You didn't tell anyone, did you? Of course not. Everyone knows. Why do you feel
this need to tell people things? I don't have a need to tell people things. Yes,
you do. You have some kind of a gossip gene or something. I know you like to
talk. Why don't you talk about yourself? Because you're famous. I'm famous? You
should call this Randolph Perfect girl. Oh, throw that at my face. Cher is
famous. Well, you're on TV. You know what? You should be on TV. I should be on
TV. Yeah, you can have your own talk show with all the information you got on
everybody.
Martyr. What? Martyr. How can you call me that after everything I've been
through? Let it rain. I'm letting it rain. Stay at my place. I don't want to
stay at your place. This is ridiculous. No, it's not. You saw Pillow Talk. You'd
know this makes sense. Oh, my God.
Hey, thanks for calling. This machine has also taken calls from my cousin
Bonnie, who was moving back in due to the fact that her wedding was called off.
Please leave a message that sounded to me.
What if that hasn't been Jim calling? What difference does it make? You don't
want to talk to him anyway. What are you, nuts? Of course I want to talk to him.
I just don't want him to know I want to talk to him. I want him to know I don't
want to talk to him, but he won't know that unless he calls and I don't talk to
him.
What? Just leave me alone. It's a door stay thing, all right? Listen, Holly, I'm
just kind of down. I think... I think you should go. I need to be alone.
You hate being alone. Do you mind staying? Not at all.
Something's going on across the street.
There's a pitch. One more.
Steve Chas, way back in the left field. Might be on.
Hit it!
I thought you didn't want anyone to know that you're back.
Looks like the Randolph corporate girl, Holly, tells us her wedding has been
called off.
Are you crazy? You just about scolding me!
Jeez, be careful!
Bang on the pipes under the sink when you want a signal to use the water.
I'm sorry, Brad. I didn't know about any signals. Did you know about a signal?
I always shower during the fifth or sixth inning when everybody's up on the
roof watching the ballgame.
Can I get a coffee?
Sure.
You really need one, Brad.
I don't mind getting his coffee.
This is why men walk all over you.
Would you stop it? It has nothing to do with it.
Yes, it does.
I get your coffee. If you want coffee, don't I get your coffee?
Bonnie, that's different.
Why?
I'm a girl.
That's insane.
You're stuck in the 50s, Bob. Wake up.
I'm leaving you alone.
Oh, my God.
You got a problem with mosquitoes, Bob?
Fran, just stop it. This is very sacred.
All right, I'm sorry.
Listen, Bonnie.
Yeah?
You need money, Brad?
Sorry to hear about your wedding being called off.
Oh, it's okay.
Holly tells me that...
Oh, you know what, Brad?
I'd rather not talk about it, okay?
Just the same. I'm sorry about you losing your column over at the paper.
Holly tells me something...
I'd rather not talk about it right now.
Thank you.
Maybe it's me.
Brad, do me a favor, would you? You answer that, okay?
Oh, get the phone?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If it's Jim...
Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just call him that.
Yellow!
Oh, how you doing, Jim?
No, it's Brad.
How are you, big fella?
How's New York?
Big Apple, Broadway, Rocketeers?
Rockettes.
Yeah, Rockettes.
Great city.
Oh, you want to talk to Bonnie?
No.
You know what, Jim?
Actually, she's just looking something up in the yellow pages.
And, you know, I apologize.
Oh, yeah, she just stepped out to a big howdy-doody reunion.
And then she's going to pick up some yellow pages.
So, can I have her call you?
A message?
Yeah, okay.
Go ahead.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Got it.
Got it.
So, look, say hi to everybody in New York for me.
Oh, what's the new girlfriend's name?
Kathy.
Say hi to her, too.
Don't worry, I'll give her the message.
Bye.
What kind of clues are these?
That's walking, Brad.
No, no, no.
That is the international symbol for yellow pages.
Would you forget it?
What did he say?
He said he's flying in tonight.
He'll be here around 8 o'clock, and he wants to talk to you.
It's very funny, Brad.
What did he say?
He said he's flying in tonight.
He'll be here around 8 o'clock, and he wants to talk to you.
Can I get some sugar for this?
Yeah.
You're going to see him?
Well, no.
Not like this.
I'll wash my hair, put on a little makeup.
He's still going to recognize you.
Brad, this isn't fun.
Look, and I, she made the first joke, okay?
I know it's her defense mechanism.
You two, uh, get married while I was going?
This was my first good day.
Just be a big mistake to see him now.
Exactly.
Can't wait to see him.
I'm not going back to him, though.
I'll tell you that.
You're going to go back to him, aren't you?
Do you want me to get that?
No, I'll get it.
All right.
Yeah?
Delivery for Bonnie Kennedy?
Okay, you can just leave it down there.
I'll pick it up later.
No, I can't.
I need you to sign for it.
All right, I'll buzz you in.
I'm upstairs.
No.
Thanks so much.
I'll be right down.
I'm not going back to him, but I think it would be a really nice gesture if
these were flowers
from Jim.
People must think I got nothing better to do with my time than staying around
signing
for other people's packages.
Pardon me.
Oh, my God.
Is it really you?
You live here?
It's time for you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm Victoni.
I get a feeling.
I can do it.
Hold on just a second.
Hey, Antoinette.
Oh, no.
Come down here.
We got a movie star right here in the building.
Oh, no.
I'm not a movie star.
Oh, I'll tell you.
She loves you in those Randolph Carpet commercials.
Well, thank you so much.
Hey, Antoinette, my little princess, get your down here.
Well, maybe I can meet your wife another time.
I tell you, I want you to meet my whole family.
Oh, well, I'm looking forward to that.
Hey, look here.
This is Tony Jr., he's seven, and Anthony, he's six.
Oh, Tony and Anthony, how cute.
If I could get my company coming.
Oh, no.
Big dinner party.
I'm sorry to hear about your wedding being called off.
Oh, that's okay.
Come here.
Come here.
Look here.
Oh, thank you so much.
But I'll tell you what.
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
How are you supposed to know he was smuggling drugs?
Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah, that's what I heard.
Hey, you know what you can do for me?
What's that?
Sing that Randolph Copper jingle for me right here.
You know, it would mean so much to me, please.
Okay.
Could you do that?
Yeah, sure.
Hey, Stan, look who's here.
It's Bonnie from Randolph Copper.
Can you believe it?
Nice to meet you.
She lives here.
It's Stan.
She's going to sing for us right here.
Sing for us.
Oh, Tony, I don't think she can sing.
Wait a minute.
Why not?
Union rules, right, Bonnie?
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
You know, I wasn't even thinking.
I couldn't pay your rates.
Tony, get up here.
Hey, I'm coming.
Hey, Stan.
Well, thanks for saving me.
Hey, no problem.
I'm Stan, by the way.
Oh, Bonnie, hi.
Hey, nice to meet you.
You're Brad's roommate.
Yeah.
An actor.
That's right.
Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.
Have you?
Well, no, just those two things.
Oh.
So, well, he's got my package, so I should probably...
Oh, don't worry.
Yeah, he'll bring it up to you.
Oh, really?
Yeah, he's just got this quirk.
He's got a touch.
Everything comes in the building, you know.
Oh, well, I guess I'm the proof of that.
Hey.
Well, he's Italian.
Ho.
So.
Hey, sorry to hear about your wedding being cold.
You know Holly, do you?
Yeah.
Some game across the street.
Is that right?
Yeah, Mark Grace belted one over.
Unbelievable, yeah.
Oh, well, then I got a window to fix.
Oh, no, he broke my window.
You're kidding, he always breaks our window.
Really?
Yeah, Ryan Sandberg breaks your window.
Oh, see, when I lived here before, it was Andre Dawson.
Oh, yeah.
Get windows finished, Bonnie.
Oh, thanks, Stan.
Where are you going?
I got that audition.
Oh, you mean your date.
Bonnie, shouldn't you be getting ready?
Yeah, Brad, take it easy, okay?
I'll get ready.
Oh, you got an audition, too, huh?
Well, sort of.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Really?
Who's your agent?
Um, as of this morning, I'm back with Harry Tynerberg.
Harry Tynerberg?
Harry?
Hey, you got talent, kid.
That I can see.
Know who you'll remind me of?
Who's that, Harry?
A cross between Angie Dickinson and, uh, now bear with me, a very young Ernie Borknine.
Do you see that?
In a spiritual sense, I'm saying.
Not physically.
All right.
He's quite a character, but he did get me the Randolph Carpet commercial, so I
can't complain.
I'm not surprised with the rug e-sport.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey.
I gotta run.
Thanks a lot.
Um, would you like me to wrap a sandwich or something?
No, no.
Thanks for the call.
Oh, okay.
You look great in an apron, by the way.
Oh, well, thanks.
I don't think women really wore them.
Well, I was cleaning and stuff.
See you around.
Bye.
I like Stan.
Nice guy.
Nice looking.
Sense of humor.
You know what the odds are of finding that in one man?
A trillion to one.
What are the odds of two guys like that being roommates?
Oh, God.
I guess that would be zero.
God, I'm so nervous.
I feel like I'm going on a blind date.
I'm going on a blind date.
He's going to marry this man.
Here I am.
Why am I seeing him?
Why am I agreeing to do this?
It's ridiculous.
There's nothing to discuss.
He wanted out, and I gave it to him, right?
Should I see him?
No.
You gotta stay out of this hell.
I gotta make my own decisions.
But, I'm doing a freelance piece on J. Edgar Hoover.
What if we get back together and he wants out again in six months?
Can I g