Name: David Letterman on "Word Grabbers," January 29, 1976
Uploaded: 2017-11-06T07:30:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman on "Word Grabbers," January 29, 1976' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman on "Word Grabbers," January 29, 1976' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-06. Transcript available.

Welcome back to WinGrabbers, and Kay, you won $950, and $1,000 on the bonus,
but if you win this game, you'll have another chance to go for $5,000, okay?
Would you like to meet your opponent?
I would.
All right.
New contestant is a mortgage banker from Des Moines, Iowa, Dick Van Cleve.
Dick, welcome to WinGrabbers.
Thank you.
You ready to go?
Yes, I am.
Let's see how easy it was.
Oh, simple.
You need a memory, and you need to be fast, okay?
Yes.
All right, we're ready to go. As you know, the game is played with our
celebrities. I'll ask a question. If you find the right one to grab, then you
complete the statement, and we're in business, all right?
Here we go. Are you all set? Panel?
Yeah, we're ready.
Okay, here is the first question. We'll start with our challenger this time.
Dick, what psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his...
Tom, what psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his shaft?
No, that's not correct. That's not correct. Kay, it's your turn, and we'll see
what question you come up with.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your...
Aileen.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your navel?
No.
No legend like that at all. That's not correct. Back to you, Dick. Are you
ready?
Yes.
All right, your question is, what fictional character had an ever-growing...
Dave, what fictional character had an ever-growing neck?
No, none that I know of. Not correct.
Back to you, Kay. Nobody scored a point yet. Watch where those words are coming
up. Here's your question, Kay.
What oriental prophet was known for contemplating his...
It's got to be Aileen.
What oriental prophet was known for contemplating his navel?
That's right. You got it.
All right, that's $25 in the cash pool to start with.
Now, let's add another $25 if Aileen knows the answer to that question.
Aileen, what oriental prophet was known for contemplating...
Oh, yes, I know that very well. We have similar bills.
It was Buddha.
Buddha is right. That's correct. $50 in the cash pool. You have one quote. You're
on your way, Kay.
Buddha. Buddha.
Ah, shut up.
All right, you can catch up right now if you can get this one correct. Here's
your question, Dick.
In what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high...
Johnny, in what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high...
Ass?
It's called crab ass.
No, no, not correct. No point there. Still $50 in the pool and one point for
Kay.
All right, Kay, next question. Yours is...
What ancient queen is often shown holding her...
Johnny.
What ancient queen is often shown holding her...
Ass?
That's right. Absolutely right. You remembered, came back.
Now you have two points and you're well on your way to winning another game.
And Johnny can add $25 to the pool. There's $75 in there now.
It'll be $100 if Johnny knows the name of that ancient queen who was shown
holding her asp.
Yes, fantastic queen. She's working with an asp right now.
The queen of television, Cher Bono.
Try again, Johnny.
Cleopatra.
That's correct. Cleopatra's right.
$100 in the cash pool and you have two points. You're moving well, Kay.
Dick, it's your turn. We'll move along and here's the next question.
In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction is a huge...
George.
In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction is a huge fly?
No, not right. Not right. And that means we go on to Kay again. You have two
points already. Kay, you can make it three if you get this correct.
What psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his...
...not correct. Now you can catch up, Dick. This is your chance to get on the
board. Your question is, according to legend, according to legend, why would
you put a ring of garlic around your...
to keep your father away, right? No, that's not correct. Okay, back to Kay. Try
for number three. You have two on the board. The pool is $100. And here's your
question. Kay.
What fictional character had an ever-growing...
Kay?
George.
What fictional character had an ever-growing fly?
No, no, no, not quite. Don't do any jokes, George, okay? All right. Dick, it's
your turn again. You still haven't gotten on the board. Now, you've seen most
of the words up there. You ought to be able to get them now. Here's the next
question.
In what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high? George.
In what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high? There you go, George. A
high fly. $125 in the cash pool. Another $25 if George can tell us. Do you know
sports, George?
Oh, I like the back of my hand, Jim. I see. All right. By the way, you're doing
a hell of a job. In what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high fly,
George?
First of all, I want you to know I'm not going to do any zipper humor. Do you
understand?
All right. Baseball. That's it. Baseball is right. And $150 in the cash pool
and it's flowing. Back to UK. You have a chance for your third point. Four wins
the game. The question is this.
In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction is a huge...
Tom.
In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction is a huge...
Shaft.
That's it. Sure. Strange as you may see, that's correct, but that's the
question we wanted. $25 more dollars, $175 in the cash pool. We can make it $200
if Tom can tell us the answer. In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction
is a huge shaft, Tom?
Well, first of all, you called on the right guy. I know we did, yes. Second of
all, I have no idea where our nation's capital is. I think it's New York. So it
must be the Empire State Building. No, it's the Washington Mine Inn.
That's right. Washington Mine Inn is correct. The pool is up to $200. Today,
you have three. One away from winning another game. Vic, you better go now.
Here we go. Here's your next question. See if you can get it right. What
psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his...
Mother. Heather.
Is he your mother?
We're not related. We're not related. No.
All right, Heather. We'll see if you're right. Heather, go ahead.
Oh, Sonny. What psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his mother?
That's it. You had it right.
He doesn't look like your mother. No, that's right. Now, you have two. Kay has
three. The cash pool is two and a quarter. It goes to $250 if Heather knows
that psychiatric term that applies to a man in love with his mother. What is
that, Heather? Do you know?
Well, I know in the ghetto they call him a mama's boy. But I think in
psychiatric terms, I think it would be he has an Oedipus complex.
That's correct. An Oedipus complex is what we're looking for. $250. You're on
your way.
Two for Dick, three for Kay. This is it for the game now, Kay. If you grab the
right word, you'll win the game and a chance for that $1,000 bonus again. Here's
your question.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your...
Come on, Dave.
All right.
No, there's no.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your...
Neck.
That's it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've
got it again again. Congratulations.
Four points wins the game.
$275 in the cash pool.
And we'll make that $550 if Dave knows the answer.
Now, he can double it for you.
Dave, this is a heavy moment for you.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your neck?
Thank you, Jim.
According to legend, I don't know about legend, but I'll tell you why I wear
garlic, a ring of garlic around my neck.
I like the way it looks with a dinner jacket, you know?
I know better than that.
No.
According to legend, though.
Back to the legend.
It's to keep spooks, evil spirits away.
That's correct.
And you've doubled your money.
You did it for you.
It's $550.
You are up over $1,000.
That's about $1,500 total money.
We'll go for the bonus.
Another $1,000 try on our bonus round in just a moment.
Dick, thank you for playing.
It was great fun.
We have a $100 gift certificate for you and a Lucien Picard.
Just watch.
And thanks for joining us.
Thank you.
Okay.
There he is.
In just a moment.
We'll be right back to try for that $1,000 again with Dave.
Don't go away.
Welcome back.
We're back with Kane who won her second straight game.
And this is the moment we've been waiting for.
You have a chance once again to win that bonus of $1,000.
If you do and win another game, you go for five next time.
Okay?
So I have seven statements again.
You've played it before.
Each of our celebrities has a hidden word back there which completes one of
them.
You complete all seven, you have 60 seconds to do that, and you win $1,000, and
you're ready
for the $5,000 bonus next time.
Ready?
Ready.
Okay.
Everybody on the panel, all set?
We're ready.
All right.
Timer's ready.
Let's set it at 60 seconds, and here we go.
The stock market is a place where you can make...
Dave.
Garbage.
Not right.
A handy kitchen device is a machine that disposes of...
Dave.
Garbage.
That's correct.
Genius is 1% inspiration.
99%...
Eileen.
Money.
Not right.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
Heather.
Whoopee!
The Walton's live in.
George.
Daniel.
Correct.
There you go.
In the 30s, having a good time was called Mickey...
Heather.
Whoopee!
There you go.
Another one.
The Mickey Mouse Club introduced the world to...
Johnny.
Perspiration.
Not right.
The stock market is a place where you can make...
Roberta.
Fear.
Genius is 1% inspiration.
99%...
Johnny.
Perspiration.
There you go.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
Tom.
Annette Funicello.
The Mickey Mouse Club introduced the world to...
Annette Funicello.
There you go.
Two more.
The stock market is a place where you can make...
Eileen.
Money.
There you go.
One more.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
George.
Genius.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
Johnny.
Perspiration.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
Roberta.
Fear.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...

David Letterman on "Word Grabbers," January 29, 1976

Welcome back to WinGrabbers, and Kay, you won $950, and $1,000 on the bonus,
but if you win this game, you'll have another chance to go for $5,000, okay?
Would you like to meet your opponent?
I would.
All right.
New contestant is a mortgage banker from Des Moines, Iowa, Dick Van Cleve.
Dick, welcome to WinGrabbers.
Thank you.
You ready to go?
Yes, I am.
Let's see how easy it was.
Oh, simple.
You need a memory, and you need to be fast, okay?
Yes.
All right, we're ready to go. As you know, the game is played with our
celebrities. I'll ask a question. If you find the right one to grab, then you
complete the statement, and we're in business, all right?
Here we go. Are you all set? Panel?
Yeah, we're ready.
Okay, here is the first question. We'll start with our challenger this time.
Dick, what psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his...
Tom, what psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his shaft?
No, that's not correct. That's not correct. Kay, it's your turn, and we'll see
what question you come up with.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your...
Aileen.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your navel?
No.
No legend like that at all. That's not correct. Back to you, Dick. Are you
ready?
Yes.
All right, your question is, what fictional character had an ever-growing...
Dave, what fictional character had an ever-growing neck?
No, none that I know of. Not correct.
Back to you, Kay. Nobody scored a point yet. Watch where those words are coming
up. Here's your question, Kay.
What oriental prophet was known for contemplating his...
It's got to be Aileen.
What oriental prophet was known for contemplating his navel?
That's right. You got it.
All right, that's $25 in the cash pool to start with.
Now, let's add another $25 if Aileen knows the answer to that question.
Aileen, what oriental prophet was known for contemplating...
Oh, yes, I know that very well. We have similar bills.
It was Buddha.
Buddha is right. That's correct. $50 in the cash pool. You have one quote. You're
on your way, Kay.
Buddha. Buddha.
Ah, shut up.
All right, you can catch up right now if you can get this one correct. Here's
your question, Dick.
In what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high...
Johnny, in what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high...
Ass?
It's called crab ass.
No, no, not correct. No point there. Still $50 in the pool and one point for
Kay.
All right, Kay, next question. Yours is...
What ancient queen is often shown holding her...
Johnny.
What ancient queen is often shown holding her...
Ass?
That's right. Absolutely right. You remembered, came back.
Now you have two points and you're well on your way to winning another game.
And Johnny can add $25 to the pool. There's $75 in there now.
It'll be $100 if Johnny knows the name of that ancient queen who was shown
holding her asp.
Yes, fantastic queen. She's working with an asp right now.
The queen of television, Cher Bono.
Try again, Johnny.
Cleopatra.
That's correct. Cleopatra's right.
$100 in the cash pool and you have two points. You're moving well, Kay.
Dick, it's your turn. We'll move along and here's the next question.
In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction is a huge...
George.
In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction is a huge fly?
No, not right. Not right. And that means we go on to Kay again. You have two
points already. Kay, you can make it three if you get this correct.
What psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his...
...not correct. Now you can catch up, Dick. This is your chance to get on the
board. Your question is, according to legend, according to legend, why would
you put a ring of garlic around your...
to keep your father away, right? No, that's not correct. Okay, back to Kay. Try
for number three. You have two on the board. The pool is $100. And here's your
question. Kay.
What fictional character had an ever-growing...
Kay?
George.
What fictional character had an ever-growing fly?
No, no, no, not quite. Don't do any jokes, George, okay? All right. Dick, it's
your turn again. You still haven't gotten on the board. Now, you've seen most
of the words up there. You ought to be able to get them now. Here's the next
question.
In what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high? George.
In what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high? There you go, George. A
high fly. $125 in the cash pool. Another $25 if George can tell us. Do you know
sports, George?
Oh, I like the back of my hand, Jim. I see. All right. By the way, you're doing
a hell of a job. In what sport can you see an athlete reach for a high fly,
George?
First of all, I want you to know I'm not going to do any zipper humor. Do you
understand?
All right. Baseball. That's it. Baseball is right. And $150 in the cash pool
and it's flowing. Back to UK. You have a chance for your third point. Four wins
the game. The question is this.
In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction is a huge...
Tom.
In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction is a huge...
Shaft.
That's it. Sure. Strange as you may see, that's correct, but that's the
question we wanted. $25 more dollars, $175 in the cash pool. We can make it $200
if Tom can tell us the answer. In our nation's capital, what tourist attraction
is a huge shaft, Tom?
Well, first of all, you called on the right guy. I know we did, yes. Second of
all, I have no idea where our nation's capital is. I think it's New York. So it
must be the Empire State Building. No, it's the Washington Mine Inn.
That's right. Washington Mine Inn is correct. The pool is up to $200. Today,
you have three. One away from winning another game. Vic, you better go now.
Here we go. Here's your next question. See if you can get it right. What
psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his...
Mother. Heather.
Is he your mother?
We're not related. We're not related. No.
All right, Heather. We'll see if you're right. Heather, go ahead.
Oh, Sonny. What psychiatric term applies to a man in love with his mother?
That's it. You had it right.
He doesn't look like your mother. No, that's right. Now, you have two. Kay has
three. The cash pool is two and a quarter. It goes to $250 if Heather knows
that psychiatric term that applies to a man in love with his mother. What is
that, Heather? Do you know?
Well, I know in the ghetto they call him a mama's boy. But I think in
psychiatric terms, I think it would be he has an Oedipus complex.
That's correct. An Oedipus complex is what we're looking for. $250. You're on
your way.
Two for Dick, three for Kay. This is it for the game now, Kay. If you grab the
right word, you'll win the game and a chance for that $1,000 bonus again. Here's
your question.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your...
Come on, Dave.
All right.
No, there's no.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your...
Neck.
That's it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've
got it again again. Congratulations.
Four points wins the game.
$275 in the cash pool.
And we'll make that $550 if Dave knows the answer.
Now, he can double it for you.
Dave, this is a heavy moment for you.
According to legend, why would you put a ring of garlic around your neck?
Thank you, Jim.
According to legend, I don't know about legend, but I'll tell you why I wear
garlic, a ring of garlic around my neck.
I like the way it looks with a dinner jacket, you know?
I know better than that.
No.
According to legend, though.
Back to the legend.
It's to keep spooks, evil spirits away.
That's correct.
And you've doubled your money.
You did it for you.
It's $550.
You are up over $1,000.
That's about $1,500 total money.
We'll go for the bonus.
Another $1,000 try on our bonus round in just a moment.
Dick, thank you for playing.
It was great fun.
We have a $100 gift certificate for you and a Lucien Picard.
Just watch.
And thanks for joining us.
Thank you.
Okay.
There he is.
In just a moment.
We'll be right back to try for that $1,000 again with Dave.
Don't go away.
Welcome back.
We're back with Kane who won her second straight game.
And this is the moment we've been waiting for.
You have a chance once again to win that bonus of $1,000.
If you do and win another game, you go for five next time.
Okay?
So I have seven statements again.
You've played it before.
Each of our celebrities has a hidden word back there which completes one of
them.
You complete all seven, you have 60 seconds to do that, and you win $1,000, and
you're ready
for the $5,000 bonus next time.
Ready?
Ready.
Okay.
Everybody on the panel, all set?
We're ready.
All right.
Timer's ready.
Let's set it at 60 seconds, and here we go.
The stock market is a place where you can make...
Dave.
Garbage.
Not right.
A handy kitchen device is a machine that disposes of...
Dave.
Garbage.
That's correct.
Genius is 1% inspiration.
99%...
Eileen.
Money.
Not right.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
Heather.
Whoopee!
The Walton's live in.
George.
Daniel.
Correct.
There you go.
In the 30s, having a good time was called Mickey...
Heather.
Whoopee!
There you go.
Another one.
The Mickey Mouse Club introduced the world to...
Johnny.
Perspiration.
Not right.
The stock market is a place where you can make...
Roberta.
Fear.
Genius is 1% inspiration.
99%...
Johnny.
Perspiration.
There you go.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
Tom.
Annette Funicello.
The Mickey Mouse Club introduced the world to...
Annette Funicello.
There you go.
Two more.
The stock market is a place where you can make...
Eileen.
Money.
There you go.
One more.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
George.
Genius.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
Johnny.
Perspiration.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
Roberta.
Fear.
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear but...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we have nothing to fear...
FDR said we hav