Name: Marlon Brando Interview with Connie Chung, Sept. 1989, Complete
Uploaded: 2017-11-24T20:14:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marlon Brando Interview with Connie Chung, Sept. 1989, Complete' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marlon Brando Interview with Connie Chung, Sept. 1989, Complete' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-24. Transcript available.

Marlon Brando Interview with Connie Chung, Sept. 1989, Complete

The one that I thought was really off the board was Marlon Brando.
Yeah, I enjoyed doing him, I think, probably the most, because it was the
easiest to do.
But the whole concept with Marlon Brando was, it just grew out of me up in the
office pretending to be Marlon,
walking around the office bugging the PAs, screwing up the copying machine, busting
the coffee maker, and so forth.
And it started making people laugh in the office, but it also was really bugging
people in the office.
And eventually, Adam Resnick, who's a co-creator on Get a Life, actually, who
used to write at Late Night,
and myself just found a way to work it onto the show where Marlon just sort of
walked onto Late Night a la Bob Hope
and then bugged Dave in the same way I was bugging the PAs upstairs.
And we sort of concocted this image of Brando that he was just kind of nuts,
you know, because people hadn't seen him for a while.
And then, this is funny, because like a year after I stopped doing him, he
started to make a comeback,
and we started seeing him talking to Connie Chung and so forth, and I realized
we weren't that far off the mark.
Saturday, March 24th.
Here are some of the real contenders you won't see at the Oscars Monday night.
We have, uh, Best Screamer.
We have, uh, Best Screamer.
We have, uh, Best Screamer.
The principal nominee this year for Best Screamer is a girl named Cheryl Lawson.
There's no particular kind of acting in a drive-in movie, but a drive-in movie
can't be boring.
And Marlon Brando, at home in Los Angeles.
What were you thinking about?
I was thinking about what I would do if I were interviewing you, how I would
get you excited, how I would steer you, manipulate you.
See, that's what you're doing to me.
You're manipulating me.
There's something idiotic about our sitting here and pretending to talk to one
another when there's a camera right there, when there's another one there, and
there's another one there.
And we're pretending to have a sort of an intimate conversation between Marlon
and Connie.
And, uh, that's an act.
That's an act.
That's the Connie Chung Show.
You mean we weren't having an intimate conversation?
Sheesh.
Good evening.
I'm Connie Chung.
Marlon Brando is up for another Academy Award this year.
And you never know with Marlon Brando if he's going to show up.
But we have him here tonight.
We've taken my original interview and added a few bits and pieces you haven't
seen.
And we'll have that in just a moment.
But first...
I must tell you, out of all the interviews I've done, I've done a few,
the Marlon Brando interview really seemed to touch a nerve with a whole cross-section
of people,
which kind of surprised me.
Actors, neighbors, people I haven't heard from in years, people on the street,
they all said, Marlon Brando, I've got to ask you a question about him.
They wanted to know something more.
So, here's something more.
We have recut our original interview to include some of his answers that hit
the cutting room floor the first time around.
And we've timed it to tonight because he's up for another Oscar.
His eighth nomination for the very part he says in our interview was ruined in
editing.
This isn't the first time Brando has been unhappy about a movie or the Academy
Awards.
The last time he won an Oscar, he sent an Indian to accept for him.
So, his record is two Oscars and two no-shows on Academy Award night.
Let's see what happens tonight.
You was my brother, Charlie.
You should have looked out for me a little bit.
You should have taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take
them dives for the short-end money.
I had some bets down for you.
You saw some money.
You don't understand.
I could have had class.
I could have been a contender.
I could have been somebody instead of a bum, which is what I am.
Let's face it.
I had no sense of passage of time.
When I thought when I was four years old, I thought I'd never grow up.
I thought that life would go on forever.
And then I worried somewhere in the middle years that life is going away and I
haven't done this.
I haven't been here.
I haven't done that.
I haven't been denied that experience.
I've denied myself that experience.
And so I tried to go everywhere at once and do everything at once.
And now time is much slower for me.
It's very slow.
Do you mind being 65?
Not at all.
I'm happier now than I ever was in my life.
Why are you happy?
Don't know.
Those are the mystery questions that one can never answer.
If I knew the answer to that, then I'd be the wisest man on earth, wouldn't I?
Why did I wind up being an actor rather than a scientist who was, I don't know,
studying entomology or be an animal trainer?
Why did I make that choice?
Do you know why?
No, I don't.
Because it wasn't financial, because it was financial, I could have been, made
a lot of money, maybe $200 million if I'd saved it.
But I had no interest in that.
You had no interest in acting in a movie after movie after movie over the years.
No, that's a waste of life.
It's a waste of time.
I don't find it stimulating or interesting.
It's not a consuming passion.
Do you want to be in a movie?
No.
Why not?
I don't know how to do what you do.
It's just me.
Listen, everybody in this life is an actor.
Nobody goes around.
We wake up in the morning and you say, hi, how are you?
You son of a bitch.
And people don't say what they want.
How many men and women find other men and women attractive and pretend to be
casual and just buff their nails and be sort of bored with the whole thing and
are really impassioned by that?
How many times have you seen a woman wearing a really ugly dress and say, oh, I'm
so glad you could come, Meg.
Sit down, please.
God, you've got an ugly dress on.
Where did you get that dress?
It's really repulsive.
How many times have you done that?
Never.
You've just said, hi, Meg.
How are you?
Come and sit down.
Wonderful to see you.
That's acting.
I understand that.
But what I mean is that when you have a special talent to become a character in
a movie.
Nobody becomes that.
I don't believe that anybody is.
First of all, you can't act unless you are what you are and who you are.
Now you come to me and you say, don't call me on and give me justice.
But you don't ask for respect.
You don't offer friendship.
You don't even think to call me godfather.
The making of The Godfather in 1971 drew several real-life godfathers out of
the shadows.
They had some concerns about the script, about the depiction of Italian-Americans,
and brought pressure on Paramount's corporate head.
Well, Joe Colombo was the famous fellow who walked into Charlie Bluthorn's
office and says,
We don't want to hear the word mafia mention, Cosa Nostra, all those guys.
And Charlie Bluthorn said, well, whatever, whatever you want, you know, we're
glad to serve it up.
So the studio tried to accommodate the Colombos and Bufalinos of the world by
including them as extras in the wedding sequence.
And it was the shooting of that scene that led to what Brando laughingly
describes as the most critical error of his life.
So I was bombed.
It was a long day, and it was a dull day, and everybody was drinking, and I
really got ripped and completely snockered.
And so I mooned the audience.
It was all Mr. Bufalino's family.
And I didn't know that at the time, otherwise I wouldn't have done it,
naturally.
I didn't mean it as an insult, I meant it as a joke, but I was so drunk I
couldn't hit the floor with my hat.
What's that?
Come on.
No, let's, hey, listen.
Let's drink a toast to our life in the country.
Yeah?
You're a natural lover?
You didn't tell me that.
Oh, for God, I'm a nature boy.
I came from a bunch of Irish drunks, my mother and father.
They had a half a bag on most of the time.
And, but along with that, I come from an Irish background.
And I think one of the defenses that you find for people who are beset, such as
the Irish,
life is too grim, generally, for most people.
And when you're down to your last nickel and your last hope, I think that all
you've got left is laughter.
When I see Laurel and Hardy after a bad day, or I see, what the hell's his name,
W.C. Fields, pulling somebody's tooth in a dentist chair, or Charlie Chaplin.
Who do you think is funny?
If you have to laugh, if you think, Christ, I can't stand it anymore today.
I have to, I have to get a laugh.
Right.
Who would, what video do you buy?
Um, well, you know what?
I, uh, I like David Letterman.
Do you ever watch David Letterman?
Yeah, I do.
Hi, Dave.
I've, uh, been an admirer of his for some time.
Dave doesn't do that.
Yeah, but I do it at the mention of his name.
Come here on.
Brando loves playing, toying with his audience.
It's part of his technique, a way of borrowing from real life that's influenced
a generation of actors,
including his co-stars in The Godfather.
Well, when you did The Godfather, uh, James Caan and Al Pacino,
they all considered you to be such a great teacher.
Did he? How do you know that?
Read that.
Heard about it.
You read it.
Heard about it.
Heard about it?
You shouldn't ever believe what you hear,
and you shouldn't ever believe what you read.
You don't believe that they really thought that you were teaching them
something?
I have no knowledge of what they believe or what they don't believe.
Jimmy Conn, I can tell you what I believe.
He's one of the funniest guys I ever met.
Don't you, don't you realize that you're thought of as the greatest actor ever?
Tim's the greatest actor ever.
He pretends he loves me.
He wants something to eat.
Get out of here.
No, it's true.
What's the difference?
See, that's a part of the sickness in America, that you have to think in terms
of who wins, who loses,
who's good, who's bad, who's best, who's worst.
We always think in those terms, in the extreme terms.
I don't like to think that way.
Everybody has their own value in a different way,
and I don't like to think who was the best at this or that.
I mean, what's the point of it?
Well, Brando doesn't have to think about who's best,
but people keep nominating him for best something,
this time for best supporting actor.
You remember the story of Gordon Gabini?
Yes, dreadful, dreadful, dreadful story.
I want justice for him, to the full extent of the law.
You see, justice and law, Mr. Detroit, are often just,
I suppose they could be described as distant cousins,
and here in South Africa, they're there simply not on speaking terms to all.
The role of Ian McKenzie, a disillusioned South African lawyer,
has gotten Brando the best reviews in the picture.
It's a part he says he created almost from scratch,
something he's done many times before.
I said that there is no part here to play,
and they said we realize that, that the script has weaknesses.
I said I'd like to take a shot at it,
because I've written and rewritten many movies that I've been in.
I have to have something to do,
because I've been off the screen for, I don't know, nine years or so,
and if you're going to re-enter the arena of motion pictures,
you have to come on with your straw hat,
your checkered suit, and a malacca cane,
and it's, hey folks, it's showtime.
You have to do something.
Objection.
Where is the witness for this assertion, Your Worship?
Dr. Haseem is my witness.
You know that Dr. Haseem's not available to testify?
I am also aware that he can be summoned by your worship to this courtroom,
and he will be accompanied by arm guards,
and chain, neck, hand, and foot,
and all in a matter of minutes.
I'm afraid we cannot dismiss acts of treason just whom we like, Mr. McKenzie.
Are you at all concerned, Your Worship,
that he might be carrying some explosive charges in one of the recesses of his
body
with the intention of blowing this entire courtroom to smithereens?
Even though the role may get him an Oscar, according to Brando, this is not the
film he agreed to make.
He says MGM, the film's distributor, agreed to a much stronger version,
but then decided to play it safe and make cuts that water down the anti-apartheid
theme.
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