Name: The Fugitive Guy Collection on Letterman, 1985-87
Uploaded: 2017-11-27T05:03:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Fugitive Guy Collection on Letterman, 1985-87' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Fugitive Guy Collection on Letterman, 1985-87' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-27. Transcript available.

The Fugitive Guy Collection on Letterman, 1985-87

Thank you, folks. Welcome back.
Tomorrow on this program, Grace Jones will be here.
Also, Calvin Trillin and comedian Bill Kirkenbauer will be joining us tomorrow.
Before we go any farther, I would like to take this opportunity
to introduce a new member of our fine maintenance crew here in Studio 6A.
Please say hello to Roger Campbell. Roger?
Well, Roger, welcome aboard. It's certainly good to have you with us.
Well, thanks very much, Dave. And might I say, everyone's been very nice to me
here.
That's great. Now, Roger, where exactly are you from?
Oh, you know, all around, really.
Yeah, and what exactly does that mean?
Everyone's been real nice to me here, Dave.
But I think maybe I'll stay here for a little while.
Well, that's great, Roger. We're glad to have you here.
But, you know, if you had to call one place home, what place would that be?
Well, you know, here, there.
Dave, look, I'd love to stand here and gab with you all day,
but it's my first day on the job, and I want to make a good impression.
You understand.
Oh, sure, of course I do.
Don't let me keep you from your work, Roger, but it was nice meeting you.
Nice meeting you.
Good luck to you.
Thank you.
All right, later in the show tonight, folks, Nicky Haskell will be here.
Also, Carnival Guesser Dave Glovesky, and tomorrow, as I mentioned, actress...
That sound. That sound.
Oh, no.
It's him. It's him.
It's the one-legged man.
He's after me. He's found me again.
Why won't he leave me alone?
I can't stay here.
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
I can't...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, why are you doing this to me?
Please, stay away from me.
No, no, no, no, oh, oh, oh, oh.
The fugitive guy.
We have to do a commercial.
We'll be right back with socialite Nicky Haskell.
Okay.
Coming up on this program yet, you'll see Bob Green and comedian Jonathan Katz
tomorrow.
Actress Tawny Welch will be here.
She's in the film St. Elmo's Fire and also filmmaker John Waters.
Boy, is this guy peculiar.
He'll be with us tomorrow.
And the man who won the paper airplane contest, Alan Hammond, will be joining
us.
Folks, tonight is a very special night for us.
We're welcoming back a member of the late-night family who has been away for a
week doing some very important work.
Please say hello to our own Chris Elliott.
Chris, come on out and...
Chris, it's great to have you back.
Well, thanks.
It's great to be back.
I hear the shows have been terrific.
They're on kind of late.
I don't get a chance to see them, but I hear they were great.
Yeah, we did all right.
Tell the folks what you've been doing for the last week.
Well, I've been on jury duty.
Uh-huh.
And how did you like jury duty?
I liked it.
It was an opportunity to see the delicate balance of our judicial system at
work.
Yeah.
A lot of people recognized me.
A lot of people asked, how come Dave can't get you off jury duty?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, when you were down there, we had NBC courtroom sketch artist, Ida Libby Dengrove,
do some drawings.
And we're going to show those.
All right.
And we'll take a look at them.
You tell us what we're looking at here.
Okay.
Well, right there, that's in the general assembly hall, or what we call the
holding pen.
Holding pen.
And that's where they picked the jurors for selection on a particular trial.
Uh-huh.
This next drawing is...
You look like you're leafing through a magazine.
I was.
Yeah.
And this is...
This is in the men's room.
What was Ida doing in the men's room?
I don't know.
I didn't actually notice her there.
She's stayed to the side.
She's pretty smart.
Okay.
And you were kind of freshening up, I guess?
Right.
Yeah.
All right.
Over here, I'm checking, that's a list of the various judges and the different
courts
that they would be working in for the week.
And that was very interesting, because that would change every three days or so.
And, well, tell me about the case you finally ended up being a juror on.
Well, I actually never was a juror on a case.
I was interviewed for a juror on a case, but for certain reasons, they asked me.
They told me I didn't have to serve.
Oh, so you didn't really hear a case?
Yeah.
And I can't really tell you about that case too much, except I can describe the
lawyers.
They said I could do that.
And one of them looked a lot like Cliff Barnes from Dallas.
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
There he is right there.
There he is.
And the other one looked like the fat guard from Midnight Express.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Now, if you didn't really sit on a jury, what did you do with all your time
down there?
I got a chance to read Dr. No.
Have you ever read that?
No, I haven't read that one.
It's interesting to read it if you've ever seen the movie, because there's
quite a bit of difference between the two.
I think Sean Connery took some liberties with the character.
Yeah.
Because his character isn't that funny in the book.
But the movie is funnier.
You enjoyed the movie.
I thought so.
Yeah.
Well, Chris, what impressed you most from your experience?
Really, the dedication of all the people down there.
I mean, the hours that they put in.
Quite often, we'd start at about 10.30 in the morning, go straight till noon.
Then we'd break for lunch till about two, and then just go straight through
before knocking off around four o'clock.
You know, we tape every afternoon at 5.30.
I wish you'd just drop by the show.
Well, actually, after a long day down at jury duty, you feel real clammy.
Clammy.
The only thing you can do is just kind of go home, relax, take a shower, and
pour a couple of cool vodka tonics, which is what I did.
Yeah.
And pretty much what you do here at work, too.
I guess so.
Now, you know, we didn't realize you were going to be back this soon.
We thought you were going to be away much longer.
And if we'd known you were coming back this early, we'd have planned a really
elaborate tribute.
But we do have one surprise for you, kind of a homecoming surprise.
Is the phone call ready?
Yes, ma'am.
Okay.
Okay.
Chris, on the other end of this phone is our own stage manager, Mr. Biff
Henderson.
Biff, say hello to Chris.
Hi, Chris.
Biff, hi.
Hi, good job, Chris.
Well, thanks a lot.
We're all proud of you.
Welcome back.
Gotta go.
Okay.
That's nice.
That's nice.
It's good to have you back, and what are you working on now?
Good to be here.
Oh, I'm glad you brought that up.
Tomorrow night, as a matter of fact, on this very network, in this time slot,
we'll be premiering
the pilot episode of a new running character that I'll be doing called The Fugitive
Guy.
The Fugitive Guy, with our own Chris Elliott.
Very hopeful.
Oh, yeah.
Let's keep those fingers crossed.
Good.
Happen with that.
Nice to have you back, Chris.
Thanks very much.
Sure.
We'll be back with Bob Green, folks.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
In this half hour, you're going to meet airplane contest coordinator Alan Hammond
and filmmaker
John Waters.
Also, we are trying desperately to schedule, before the season is over, a fat
ballplayer
night.
So, we have Terry Forster lined up, and we're talking to Rusty Staub's people,
and so we
hope to get as many fat ballplayers as we can in here.
Ladies and gentlemen, before we go any further, I'd like to take this
opportunity to introduce
a new member of our fine band.
He is just joining us tonight.
Please say hello to Mr. Roger Campbell.
The Fugitive Guy, starring Chris Elliott, featuring Sandy Frank, and Matt Wickline
as the one-legged
man.
Tonight's episode, music soothes the savage killer.
Well, Roger, welcome aboard.
You sound terrific, and it's great to have you here.
Anything we can get for you?
Anything you need, Roger?
Oh, no thanks, Dave.
The band's done a great job making me feel right at home here.
That's great.
Now, Roger, before you worked with our band here, where else did you work?
Oh, you know, honky-tonks, cheap joints, really, roadside bars, that sort of
thing.
Yeah.
But as I said, the band here has made me feel right at home, so I think maybe I'll
stick
around here for a while.
Yeah.
Now, Roger, when you say other places, you know, what exactly does that mean?
Where were the roadside bars and the cheap joints and so forth?
Where?
Well, you know, here, there.
Yeah, but you know, that really doesn't give me much to go on.
I mean, was it here in New York somewhere?
Hey, hey, hey, Dave, Dave, ease up, will you?
You know, the cat's already told you, cheap joints, dives, that's all we need
to know.
We're just happy he's with us now.
He's a hell of a tambourine player and nothing else, nothing else really
matters.
Okay, you're right, Paul.
Roger, listen, please forgive me.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to pry.
It's great to have you with us.
It's okay, Dave.
It's great to be here.
Nice to meet you, Roger.
Tomorrow on the show, we'll have another musician, by the way.
Brian Adams will be here, Capitol Hill reporter.
Sarah McClendon and actress-singer Tracy Ullman will be joining us.
That's tomorrow.
Now, what the hell is that noise?
Hey, uh, I'm sorry, guys.
I'm just not going to be able to play with you the rest of the night.
I can't explain.
It's something you wouldn't understand.
That noise, it's him.
Why won't he leave me alone?
Why does he follow me everywhere I go?
He has to leave me alone.
Hey, hey!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
All right. Ladies and gentlemen, before we go on with the show, I want to take
a second here to introduce a new member of our staff. He's a cue card person.
He's with us for the first time tonight. Say hello to Mr. Roger Campbell. Roger,
nice to see you.
The Fugitive Guide. A Quinn Martin production. Starring Chris Elliott. Featuring
Sandy Frank. And Matt Wickline as the one-legged man. Tonight's episode, Cue
for Murder.
Okay, Roger. Welcome aboard.
Thanks very much, Dave. And I just want to say the other cue card boy here has
made me feel right at home.
Well, that's terrific. Roger, what other shows have you worked on with cue
cards?
Oh, you know, news shows, kid shows, local TV, really. But like I say, the
other boys have made me feel right at home. So I think maybe I'll stick around
here for a while.
Oh, that's great. Now, you mentioned kid shows. What kid shows did you work on?
I used to work the old Kids Are People Too show.
Oh, yeah. Kids Are People Too. You know, that's funny. We were just talking
earlier today about Michael Young, who was the host of the show.
And I didn't think he ever used cue cards. I think the whole show was kind of
just like off the top of his head.
Did I say Kids Are People Too? I meant Zoom.
Oh, yeah.
I always get those two shows mixed up.
Yeah. And local news here in town?
Hey, Dave, these cards aren't getting any lighter.
Oh, okay. All right. Sure, I understand. Listen, but we'll have to talk after
the show some night. Maybe have a drink?
I'd like that.
Okay, great. Nice to see you, Roger.
Good to be here.
Coming up in the next half hour, we'll have Gretchen Wharton here with medical
oddities from the Mudder Museum, also actor.
That noise.
Oh, no, it's him again.
Why won't he leave me alone?
Why is he following me?
I can't stay anymore. I've got to get out of here.
I'm sorry. Hey!
Hey!
Oh, no!
One place.
Yeah.
No!
No!
No!
That's the fugitive guy.
We'll be right back, folks.
Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen. Later in the show, Paula Poundstone,
a very funny young lady, will be here, and also Nina Hagen will be joining us.
That's yet to come on tonight's program.
Tomorrow night, oh, this is also a good show, but before I tell you about
tomorrow night's show, I'd like to take a couple of seconds here to introduce a
new member of our crew.
This is our new camera operator. He's with us for the first time tonight. Folks,
say hello to Roger Campbell. Roger, nice to see you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay, R