Name: The Riddlers Nov. 4, 1977 + Michael McKean on Letterman, Mar. 30, 1990
Uploaded: 2017-11-30T20:35:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Riddlers Nov. 4, 1977 + Michael McKean on Letterman, Mar. 30, 1990' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Riddlers Nov. 4, 1977 + Michael McKean on Letterman, Mar. 30, 1990' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-30. Transcript available.

thank you welcome back to the big show ladies and gentlemen paul now that we've
had the red
hot chili peppers on the show you know what's gonna happen what well for the
next three or
four weeks every night wendell's gonna come up to me before the show and say dave
can i take my
shirt off see i hope you don't let him do that what i hope you don't let him do
that all right
maybe i won't oh he's doing it now oh uh our next guest was the lead singer of
spinal tap uh he was
also yeah paul you were in that film oh i was yeah that's right i was you
played like a i played
arty fuffkin the promo promo this guy was fabulous he was also lenny on the
television program laverne
and shirley and he can now be seen on this very network in the show grand every
thursday night i
believe that's right ladies and gentlemen here's michael mckean michael
nice to see you again nice to see you again yeah yes david and i worked
together a long long time
ago before we had real jobs 19 gosh it must have been like 77 or something no
it had to be yeah
77 78 yeah this man was the host of a uh a game show pilot yes they do exist it
sounds like
almost like they should spring like mushrooms from the mildew it was quite a
show yeah it was called
the riddlers and the premise was as i recall you spend five minutes on one riddle
and then one
minute on five riddles just to you know you were one of the celebrity stars i
was a celebrity star along
with
who else was who else was the big line up robert yorick robert yorick robert yorick
yeah from
from uh manix right no what what was the show from uh the show spencer for hire
no before that
yeah vegas vantana before that no no that was that was hey i think we got a
game show here
career movies uh no he was uh he was on soap and then he was on something and
then he was on the
riddlers and then of course the rest of history yeah and joyce bullifant yeah
remember joyce bullifant
yes from little blonde helmet nice nice woman everybody was lady well that that
was unnecessary no no no
you don't need to say little blonde helmet look no she she didn't have the
helmet look but her hair
was blonde and had the helmet look i'm sorry and uh hey hey i'm just enjoying
the first time i met this
man yeah but let me just interrupt you i can remember doing that we were
supposed to do two
of those shows that night yeah and we taped the first one and after the first
show good yeah the
producer said i think i think we got it all we don't need to do another one if
we pull the plug now
we'll save it yeah oh man was that uh well but you were funny though because
you were the first game
show host i had ever seen who knew it was crap well it was wonderful and i was
very impressed with that
it was a gig you know it was something to do yeah
this week joanne whirley bonsoir robert urich hi there hi
joace boulefons hi there michael mckeon hello and deborah lee scott hello will
be competing against
these five dance instructors on the riddlers with your host david letterman
all right thank you now the first item going up first item going up for bid is
this wonderful
automatic garage door opener okay this is of course our dance instructors is
this correct
these people believe it or not have won over four thousand dollars so far that's
all the crowd is
this motley assortment of celebrities over here you folks so far have won
zero not a big zero give us a break oh now they're excited that's that's all
right because even if you
did win that money being celebrities you don't need it do you so of course that
money would have been
given to me to help fight loneliness no that money would have been equally
divided among five lucky
people from our home audience whose postcards were selected at random and of
course random a small
town in pennsylvania and i'll read that uh list of folks right now why here's a
lady from my hometown
indianapolis indiana mrs mary horn i used to look in her windows now also with
us on today's show
somewhere in america mrs ann roper from allentown pennsylvania mr robert connors
from new haven
connecticut miss anne marie markham from dallas texas and ms nancy miller of
portland oregon any of
those folks here yeah okay come on that hand that's all yours now because those
folks took the trouble
to write in their mail is now being screened by a federal agency so okay now uh
if you folks win the
game today these lucky folks at home get the dough you know what i mean if you
got it if you folks lose the
game these lucky people nothing not even looking for right do they have our
address so with that in
mind we always begin the game with the team that lost the last game got any
ideas who that is
this brain trust over here so we're going to start with joanne how are you
today joanne i'm fine are
they really dancers let's ask them ourselves are you really dancers oh yeah
really honey they don't look
like i know you scoff in disbelief now let's get back to the game here here is
your first riddle okay
are you ready for this yes i am during the french revolution you were a pain in
the neck what are you
during the french revolution you were a pain in the neck what are you paulin
no no no see what i was doing no i was lucky the guillotine that's absolutely
correct
right now um joanne you go ahead and select a riddle and rate it to robert and
see how far you folks
can go before you get an incorrect answer and then it becomes their turn okay
right ahead robert yes
one down eight to go any woman who takes you is inconceivable
any woman who takes you is inconceivable what are you don't be ashamed i'm a
birth control pill
that's right hey a birth control pill there's another name for that now we're
having fun aren't we
all right robert you and i love a lot of like talking about yes we do okay i
want to tell
about seven ago read one of these things to uh if you will just to shut her up
no i want to just tell
you about another name for birth control please i have this riddle to read here
okay let him read the riddle
you cheated on the king because it was the lance of a lifetime who are you
who you cheated on the i know i'm guinevere absolutely makes you want to run
out and buy a home game
does it okay okay all right you're you're um michael yes you're the little
animal who's famous for
minding his damn business what are you a bva a beaver a beaver yes french
pronunciation
four now five to go moving it you folks picking up some pointers okay deborah i'm
speaking to you yes
sir don't take this personally but you look all strung out even before you get
sauced now don't take
this personally but you get all strung out even before you get sauced what are
you don't take this
personally but you get also before you get sauced strung out oh my gosh i'm for
oh no
okay this of course answers the question do the celebrities have to take a test
to get on
no sir no deborah lee the answer here it was his reading that was it was a
tough one
we're getting around it it was spaghetti spaghetti we knew that down here folks
at home are in trouble
now definitely all right yeah four down five to go we got to stop there and let
these folks have a
turn remember you need nine correct answers in a row for the big money and let's
go over here to sherry and
the dancing structures okay sounds like a group doesn't it all right sherry no
other pianist can
hold a candle to you who are you
i am liberaci oh terrific you are liberal now move this down there okay you
have one down and eight
to go read one of those uh riddles okay rocco yes how far you can go i mean
with the game here
you're the telegraph company that sounds like a california wedding what are you
what do you think rocco um
california wedding um rocco's been out of the country i've been for several
years
oh i have no idea my bell who knows no no no no western union of course western
union but a real
good start for you guys
okay one down and uh eight to go you need nine correct answers here to win the
game these folks
are well ahead of you it's four down five to go and michael what's michael and
deborah lee again yes it is
the last time you had a guest for dinner he gave you heartburn what are you the
last time you had a
you had a guest for dinner he gave you heartburn boy what are you what am i yes
last time you had a guest for oh my gosh
reading the question doesn't help oh i had to read it wait the last time
to make a good movie of the week
you're going to shorten it up a little bit oh it's a cannibal last time he had
well you you should have
emphasized don't give me my readings lady i don't want to listen to that excuse
me okay they've stalled
over there and uh it's your turn again nine correct answers here you go all
right you're the south
sea island dress that should be worn by a cow cow what are you i am i am
definitely a moo moo
thank you you guys having fun over there we're having a lot of fun over here
last week you know these were recipes that threw the whole game
go right ahead brocco all right joan my dentist says one shot of you and numbs
the word what are you
i am novocaine novocaine terrific okay one shot of you and numbs the word novocaine
it's now three
down six to go you're closing in on the uh ne'er-do-wells over there don't go
ahead uh talk to mark
right after they shoot you they put you in the can and that's the real truth
what are you
right after they shoot you they put you in the can and that's the real truth
what are you
oh no we know over here that's our job film film film all right it is film film
well we're stalled
there three down six to go you need nine correct of course to win a game could
you play our theme
please it's the dynamic duo here all right deborah lee oh no you're talking to
i'm still talking to
deborah lee oh gosh all right concentrate i have to get this one you're telling
my mother is watching
no i'm telling me to concentrate uh-huh hiawatha always said your name was
laughable
oh my who are you um all right okay pocahontas always said your name was minnehaha
i have no idea
i know my indians i think we'll retire your jersey now deborah lee okay you
have to ask
to michael to michael so you're going to polish they're going the other way hey
yeah like we're
ahead of you look out here dangerous ready for what you're the part of my body
that goes hooray
what are you uh you're the part of my body that goes hooray what are you the
mouth
are you making sure to my own advice north and south i would have said rain oh
i was happy because
he had the day off but no it's uh just kidding it's hip hip hip oh yeah all
right five down four to
go all right well they're not doing pretty badly go back over here to the dance
instructors where did
we leave off it was our good friends joan and mark joan grabbed a card pulled
it to her face and said
i said mark you've been around the world for years and years but you haven't
moved an inch what are you
i'm the equator terrific not only a good riddle but certainly food for thought
don't you think
all right partly when you promise pie in the sky you deliver pie in the sky
what's your opera
what's your occupation when you promise pie in the sky you deliver pie in the
sky i have a big part
a big part on this don't i i love your part i like the obvious for you don't i
would you read that
again please no that's my job when you promise pie in the sky you deliver pie
in the sky and let me
remind you this is radioactive so no hartley you are a
stewardess you are a stewardess oh okay four down five to go for those folks
over there it's the team
here again okay here they are debra lee and michael we're gonna have our own
series
working as a tag team new situation comedy now five down four to go we're going
this way debra lee
go ahead go right ahead if you had two t's around you you'd be dynamite what
are you n
that's right the letter n six down three to go now they're making some real
progress okay okay let's
get this over with okay get this over with well you don't need to refer to it
in quite that attitude
see that to hit the 12 of you will try anything oh you won't share i'll see you
later
come on i really had a good time
let me try it a little lower the 12 of you just a little sniper fire
happens all the time with a new show somebody doesn't like it
boom i'll try a lot harder i promise i'll try harder
now we're gonna say this again and pretend that never happened despite the
poison gas seeping
are you ready joyce yeah be sure you have your shoes on
the 12 of you will try anything once oh i know what it is what are you i'm a
jewelry
seven down three go joyce go right ahead are you ready oh i don't know do not
be tense
all right i won't you're the bird who does give a hoot what are you
you don't you know i'm a i'm i'm you're the bird i'm an owl okay here it is you
guys are done it's all
over one more here robert you're you're the punishment a kid should get for
stealing a lollipop
what are you
a big
oh a big
a licky
oh boy
and keep on tricky i don't know what you but i am wet from perspiration
we know okay that's it you won the game that means you won 500 more for your
friends at home and you
know what we do now we give you the opportunity to win as much as two grand
more if you can solve
five crazy quotes and hear what you need to do the person in the first position
gets the real
easy stuff the lightweight stuff as we move down toward the end the person in
the fifth position
gets the heavyweight intellectual material now you folks arrange yourselves in
order of
intellectual ability i'll see you down there and we'll play this all right
you know you folks have assembled yourselves in what could roughly be described
as intellectual order
of course you joyce will be handling the easiest question and well i'm not sure
if this is but
nonetheless and they get a little more difficult as we go on down the line now
what i'm going to do is
read some very famous quotes that were actually never said by anyone but they
might have been
said by someone if they had thought about them at the time but since they didn't
listen to me babble
isn't it wonderful but since they didn't i'm going to say it for them and uh
you folks can win
big dough if you answer these correctly did i explain that to your satisfaction
joyce yes but it made me
sound like i'm the dumbest no no no yes it is yes you did now is your chance to
show them here we go
joyce uh this is a 100 quote who might have said jane it's a jungle out there
king kong no i'm kidding
i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding it's tarzan it is tarzan
okay hi there kitty you handled that pretty well by the way okay uh you now
have 100 here is the
200 quote deboralee who might have said fortunately all my old tennis outfits
are reversible oh i do not
know this listener her their name uh it's i don't oh god and i just was in
magazine yesterday sort of
mixed doubles does that help yeah or is it mixed singles uh and uh and um what
was the name i don't
know renee richard yes might have said that oh i knew who it was that's
embarrassing deborah
she didn't despite that embarrassing display you now have 100 on my foot and it's
tough not to be and
he's scared and uh here is let's see this is the uh
here here is the 300 quote uh who might have said joanne okay mason this is
where we draw the line
mrs milton burrow i know i know okay mason this is where we draw the dixon line
who might have said
that how about andrew jackson or wait a minute oh no no no no you okay mason
this is where we draw
the line it's over it's over i'm sorry you actually answered it but not in the
proper place well don't
be dixon dixon dixon dixon just go over there in a little bit of trouble oh
okay you're not doing
so well taking the money from the old contestant yes yes you have 100 going for
400 this is a 400
quote michael you look good you can handle this one i can take it who might
have said they were free so i
took 10. would you like to hear that again yeah who might have said they were
free so i took 10.
moses terrific it was moses not bad nice going
it's up to me you know five hundred dollars here now uh five hundred dollars if
you answer this
correctly we'll give you a thousand dollars for the folks at home was this your
choice to anchor this
team no no it's not my choice but you know if i don't get this right it might
have to hurt you
i got them some guys so it's okay so it better be an easy question you got it
anything you want
uh here we go who might have said this is four thousand dollars one is longer
because i pull it
every saturday night
renee richards
we could go on like this for days it's either richard nixon or let's see one
more time please one
is longer because i pull it every saturday night uh my hair
no no i think it pertains to a person ears the answer would be carol burnett
yes yeah yeah i'm gonna get in the hardest position too bad yes yeah
nonetheless you folks did win 500
hours we'll be back to play some more riddlers right after this random word of
interest
darn we're out of time well that's it for the riddlers first of all i want to
thank our
dance instructors you folks have had more fun than the world will ever know
have a good nice to have
you guys here with us and of course as always our celebrities were wonderful joanne
worley nice
to see you again i love doing it thank you for you and robert urich bye-bye mr
wetterman thank
you for being here joyce boulefon i loved it nice to see you again michael mckeon
get off my back
what friends we've become huh and of course debra lee scott nice to see you
again we're all done
thanks for watching the riddlers good night goodbye
you
just before we went out to do that show that you mentioned a few minutes ago
yes joanne worley
who was also on the dear lady comes up to me and she says you know if this gets
on the air for the
rest of your life you'll be a game show host yeah and i think i think she meant
it as words of
encouragement yeah well i i did the first time i was on a game show which was i
i did the pyramid
show a couple times and abc came to me and said you know you're really good at
this would you like
to host i mean they're really excited about you hosting a show like this which
is like finding out
that like a non-attractive girl has a big crush on you you know it's like you're
flattered because
oh i scored but i'm gonna hide now you know what i mean

The Riddlers Nov. 4, 1977 + Michael McKean on Letterman, Mar. 30, 1990

thank you welcome back to the big show ladies and gentlemen paul now that we've
had the red
hot chili peppers on the show you know what's gonna happen what well for the
next three or
four weeks every night wendell's gonna come up to me before the show and say dave
can i take my
shirt off see i hope you don't let him do that what i hope you don't let him do
that all right
maybe i won't oh he's doing it now oh uh our next guest was the lead singer of
spinal tap uh he was
also yeah paul you were in that film oh i was yeah that's right i was you
played like a i played
arty fuffkin the promo promo this guy was fabulous he was also lenny on the
television program laverne
and shirley and he can now be seen on this very network in the show grand every
thursday night i
believe that's right ladies and gentlemen here's michael mckean michael
nice to see you again nice to see you again yeah yes david and i worked
together a long long time
ago before we had real jobs 19 gosh it must have been like 77 or something no
it had to be yeah
77 78 yeah this man was the host of a uh a game show pilot yes they do exist it
sounds like
almost like they should spring like mushrooms from the mildew it was quite a
show yeah it was called
the riddlers and the premise was as i recall you spend five minutes on one riddle
and then one
minute on five riddles just to you know you were one of the celebrity stars i
was a celebrity star along
with
who else was who else was the big line up robert yorick robert yorick robert yorick
yeah from
from uh manix right no what what was the show from uh the show spencer for hire
no before that
yeah vegas vantana before that no no that was that was hey i think we got a
game show here
career movies uh no he was uh he was on soap and then he was on something and
then he was on the
riddlers and then of course the rest of history yeah and joyce bullifant yeah
remember joyce bullifant
yes from little blonde helmet nice nice woman everybody was lady well that that
was unnecessary no no no
you don't need to say little blonde helmet look no she she didn't have the
helmet look but her hair
was blonde and had the helmet look i'm sorry and uh hey hey i'm just enjoying
the first time i met this
man yeah but let me just interrupt you i can remember doing that we were
supposed to do two
of those shows that night yeah and we taped the first one and after the first
show good yeah the
producer said i think i think we got it all we don't need to do another one if
we pull the plug now
we'll save it yeah oh man was that uh well but you were funny though because
you were the first game
show host i had ever seen who knew it was crap well it was wonderful and i was
very impressed with that
it was a gig you know it was something to do yeah
this week joanne whirley bonsoir robert urich hi there hi
joace boulefons hi there michael mckeon hello and deborah lee scott hello will
be competing against
these five dance instructors on the riddlers with your host david letterman
all right thank you now the first item going up first item going up for bid is
this wonderful
automatic garage door opener okay this is of course our dance instructors is
this correct
these people believe it or not have won over four thousand dollars so far that's
all the crowd is
this motley assortment of celebrities over here you folks so far have won
zero not a big zero give us a break oh now they're excited that's that's all
right because even if you
did win that money being celebrities you don't need it do you so of course that
money would have been
given to me to help fight loneliness no that money would have been equally
divided among five lucky
people from our home audience whose postcards were selected at random and of
course random a small
town in pennsylvania and i'll read that uh list of folks right now why here's a
lady from my hometown
indianapolis indiana mrs mary horn i used to look in her windows now also with
us on today's show
somewhere in america mrs ann roper from allentown pennsylvania mr robert connors
from new haven
connecticut miss anne marie markham from dallas texas and ms nancy miller of
portland oregon any of
those folks here yeah okay come on that hand that's all yours now because those
folks took the trouble
to write in their mail is now being screened by a federal agency so okay now uh
if you folks win the
game today these lucky folks at home get the dough you know what i mean if you
got it if you folks lose the
game these lucky people nothing not even looking for right do they have our
address so with that in
mind we always begin the game with the team that lost the last game got any
ideas who that is
this brain trust over here so we're going to start with joanne how are you
today joanne i'm fine are
they really dancers let's ask them ourselves are you really dancers oh yeah
really honey they don't look
like i know you scoff in disbelief now let's get back to the game here here is
your first riddle okay
are you ready for this yes i am during the french revolution you were a pain in
the neck what are you
during the french revolution you were a pain in the neck what are you paulin
no no no see what i was doing no i was lucky the guillotine that's absolutely
correct
right now um joanne you go ahead and select a riddle and rate it to robert and
see how far you folks
can go before you get an incorrect answer and then it becomes their turn okay
right ahead robert yes
one down eight to go any woman who takes you is inconceivable
any woman who takes you is inconceivable what are you don't be ashamed i'm a
birth control pill
that's right hey a birth control pill there's another name for that now we're
having fun aren't we
all right robert you and i love a lot of like talking about yes we do okay i
want to tell
about seven ago read one of these things to uh if you will just to shut her up
no i want to just tell
you about another name for birth control please i have this riddle to read here
okay let him read the riddle
you cheated on the king because it was the lance of a lifetime who are you
who you cheated on the i know i'm guinevere absolutely makes you want to run
out and buy a home game
does it okay okay all right you're you're um michael yes you're the little
animal who's famous for
minding his damn business what are you a bva a beaver a beaver yes french
pronunciation
four now five to go moving it you folks picking up some pointers okay deborah i'm
speaking to you yes
sir don't take this personally but you look all strung out even before you get
sauced now don't take
this personally but you get all strung out even before you get sauced what are
you don't take this
personally but you get also before you get sauced strung out oh my gosh i'm for
oh no
okay this of course answers the question do the celebrities have to take a test
to get on
no sir no deborah lee the answer here it was his reading that was it was a
tough one
we're getting around it it was spaghetti spaghetti we knew that down here folks
at home are in trouble
now definitely all right yeah four down five to go we got to stop there and let
these folks have a
turn remember you need nine correct answers in a row for the big money and let's
go over here to sherry and
the dancing structures okay sounds like a group doesn't it all right sherry no
other pianist can
hold a candle to you who are you
i am liberaci oh terrific you are liberal now move this down there okay you
have one down and eight
to go read one of those uh riddles okay rocco yes how far you can go i mean
with the game here
you're the telegraph company that sounds like a california wedding what are you
what do you think rocco um
california wedding um rocco's been out of the country i've been for several
years
oh i have no idea my bell who knows no no no no western union of course western
union but a real
good start for you guys
okay one down and uh eight to go you need nine correct answers here to win the
game these folks
are well ahead of you it's four down five to go and michael what's michael and
deborah lee again yes it is
the last time you had a guest for dinner he gave you heartburn what are you the
last time you had a
you had a guest for dinner he gave you heartburn boy what are you what am i yes
last time you had a guest for oh my gosh
reading the question doesn't help oh i had to read it wait the last time
to make a good movie of the week
you're going to shorten it up a little bit oh it's a cannibal last time he had
well you you should have
emphasized don't give me my readings lady i don't want to listen to that excuse
me okay they've stalled
over there and uh it's your turn again nine correct answers here you go all
right you're the south
sea island dress that should be worn by a cow cow what are you i am i am
definitely a moo moo
thank you you guys having fun over there we're having a lot of fun over here
last week you know these were recipes that threw the whole game
go right ahead brocco all right joan my dentist says one shot of you and numbs
the word what are you
i am novocaine novocaine terrific okay one shot of you and numbs the word novocaine
it's now three
down six to go you're closing in on the uh ne'er-do-wells over there don't go
ahead uh talk to mark
right after they shoot you they put you in the can and that's the real truth
what are you
right after they shoot you they put you in the can and that's the real truth
what are you
oh no we know over here that's our job film film film all right it is film film
well we're stalled
there three down six to go you need nine correct of course to win a game could
you play our theme
please it's the dynamic duo here all right deborah lee oh no you're talking to
i'm still talking to
deborah lee oh gosh all right concentrate i have to get this one you're telling
my mother is watching
no i'm telling me to concentrate uh-huh hiawatha always said your name was
laughable
oh my who are you um all right okay pocahontas always said your name was minnehaha
i have no idea
i know my indians i think we'll retire your jersey now deborah lee okay you
have to ask
to michael to michael so you're going to polish they're going the other way hey
yeah like we're
ahead of you look out here dangerous ready for what you're the part of my body
that goes hooray
what are you uh you're the part of my body that goes hooray what are you the
mouth
are you making sure to my own advice north and south i would have said rain oh
i was happy because
he had the day off but no it's uh just kidding it's hip hip hip oh yeah all
right five down four to
go all right well they're not doing pretty badly go back over here to the dance
instructors where did
we leave off it was our good friends joan and mark joan grabbed a card pulled
it to her face and said
i said mark you've been around the world for years and years but you haven't
moved an inch what are you
i'm the equator terrific not only a good riddle but certainly food for thought
don't you think
all right partly when you promise pie in the sky you deliver pie in the sky
what's your opera
what's your occupation when you promise pie in the sky you deliver pie in the
sky i have a big part
a big part on this don't i i love your part i like the obvious for you don't i
would you read that
again please no that's my job when you promise pie in the sky you deliver pie
in the sky and let me
remind you this is radioactive so no hartley you are a
stewardess you are a stewardess oh okay four down five to go for those folks
over there it's the team
here again okay here they are debra lee and michael we're gonna have our own
series
working as a tag team new situation comedy now five down four to go we're going
this way debra lee
go ahead go right ahead if you had two t's around you you'd be dynamite what
are you n
that's right the letter n six down three to go now they're making some real
progress okay okay let's
get this over with okay get this over with well you don't need to refer to it
in quite that attitude
see that to