Name: The Regulator Guy Collection on Letterman 1986
Uploaded: 2017-12-02T21:21:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Regulator Guy Collection on Letterman 1986' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-12-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Regulator Guy Collection on Letterman 1986' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-12-02. Transcript available.

The Regulator Guy Collection on Letterman 1986

Some dark night on a lonely street in a neighborhood you're not familiar with.
Maybe you got off at the wrong stop.
He will be your only hope.
Who are you?
Sent here from the future with one mission in mind, to regulate.
Hey, you, hold it there.
Make room for Chris Elliott in a new running character as The Regulator Guy.
All right, but don't do it anymore.
He's waiting.
He's watching.
And he's coming soon to NBC.
Oh, look forward to that.
Tommy Casabono, ladies and gentlemen.
Tommy.
God bless you, Tommy.
Tommy.
Some dark night on a lonely street in a neighborhood you're not familiar with.
Maybe you got off at the wrong stop.
He will be your only hope.
Who are you?
Sent here from the future with one mission in mind, to regulate.
Hey, you, hold it there.
Make room for Chris Elliott in a new running character as The Regulator Guy.
All right, but don't do it anymore.
He's waiting.
He's watching.
And he's coming soon to NBC.
Tomorrow on this program, actress Radon Chong will be joining us.
And Mike the Dog from the motion picture down and out in Beverly Hills.
Have you seen that, Paul?
No.
Yeah, okay.
I meant to see it.
Well, you should see it because we have someone on from the film tomorrow.
I'll see it tonight.
Do you know who we have coming on from the film tomorrow?
Radon Chong.
No, I just mentioned it.
Mike the Dog.
Mike the Dog?
Mike the Dog.
I got to go see a film because Mike the Dog is on TV.
I had to.
Yeah, that'll be Mike the Dog tomorrow.
Fine dog.
And also, Tito Puente.
You guys going to play with us, man?
Yeah.
All right.
We're all really excited about it.
Okay.
My next guest, what else are we going to do?
Oh, Larry's still out on the street.
I guess we'll go back to him a little bit later.
We will?
Great.
My next guest is, boy, this is incredible.
Can you believe this, Paul?
He's on the show.
What a great guy.
He was the former star of the hit series The Fugitive Guy.
He will be back starting next week on this very network in a brand new program
called The
Regulator Guy.
Please welcome Chris Elliott, ladies and gentlemen.
Have a seat.
Thank you.
Yeah.
This is for you.
Thank you very much.
Oh, a hat, a Regulator Guy hat.
That's great.
Thank you.
That's yours.
It's great to see you again.
I know you've been here with us before, but believe me, it's always an honor.
I'm a big fan of yours, and you've really influenced my work greatly, and it's
a thrill to have
a legend like yourself on the show.
Well, thanks very much, Dave.
Sure.
You know, that's what I like best about making it in this business.
What is that?
Getting my rump kissed by a professional.
Well, man, thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Hey, where the hell's my coffee?
I had some special coffee out here.
Oh, yeah, there it is.
Come here.
Bring it right up.
That's my caffuccino maker.
I'm scalding so much.
Watch it.
It's quite hot.
Just put that right there.
Okay, there you go.
Yeah, I don't know how you drink that mud, Dave.
You've got to take care of your body like me.
Here we go.
Watch out.
Okay.
Just take a second.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
This is going to be good.
You don't have any nutmeg.
You like a little nutmeg?
Yeah, we have some right there for you.
Perfect.
What's in the cappuccino?
Do you know exactly?
You know, I'm not sure.
It's one of those Jamaican drinks, really.
I think there's a lot of rum and tequila in it.
I don't know.
Well, good.
Go ahead and enjoy that.
Welcome back to the network.
I know it's been a while since the fugitive guy was dumped.
And what have you been doing with yourself?
Well, actually, right after it was dumped,
I went off and spent some time with my family.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, there I am.
That's your family?
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
You're a Van Patten?
Yeah, I know.
It seems odd.
I changed my name because, you know,
I wanted to make it on my own.
You didn't want to use their name to influence people on that area.
Well, that's very normal.
Then after that, the network tried me out
in a couple of different spots.
It didn't seem to work too good.
Yeah, the first was co-anchoring the news with Brokaw.
See right there.
And that didn't work out.
Kind of a lighter approach to the news.
He didn't like me very much.
And then what did you do?
Then the next thing, they gave me this made-for-TV movie,
which just did not go well at all.
Never see the light of day.
I think the plot's kind of weird.
There I am.
Well, the plot is this, that the monkeys in all the world,
chimpanzees, apes, they get loose, get out of their cages,
and for some reason, they come after me.
I don't know.
It was called King Ape.
King Ape, yeah.
How did that end?
What was the finish on that?
One of them married me.
Gee.
But you're back.
You've got a brand new series.
Yes, we do.
We've got something we're calling the Regulator Guy.
The Regulator Guy.
Now, what does that mean?
Yes, we're all very hopeful, very optimistic.
Very optimistic, yeah.
What do you regulate there?
Well, there you are right there.
Well, there I am right over there.
You look a lot different.
Yeah, you can see.
Yeah, I did.
I cut my hair real short for it.
It was a lot of fun to put together.
My hair was growing back, though, which you can see.
Yeah, yeah, right.
Looks a lot thicker, too.
What do you mean?
Well, nothing.
Now, tell me about the Regulator Guy.
What is the plot of the Regulator Guy?
What's the plot?
Well, he's a guy.
He's got a very strong sense of justice, a strong sense of right, of wrong.
A good guy.
A vigilante kind of guy, taking the law into his own hands?
I don't know what that is, but he's a do-gooder.
Then he's out there regulating right and wrong.
Regulating.
Where's he from?
He's from the future, we saw him.
He's from the future, yeah.
And that accent, what part of the world is that?
I really couldn't tell you.
That was just something they asked me to do, and I don't know.
Is it Austrian or Norwegian?
It's probably some...
It's Austrian, Norwegian, something like that.
Well, it's very effective.
Thank you very much.
Now, I understand we have a clip of the premiere episode.
I don't know.
I just came.
They, you know, threw me out here.
I don't know.
Do you have a clip or something?
No, I think we have a clip all loaded up.
This is Chris Elliott from the very first episode of the Regulator Guy.
The Regulator Guy.
Okay, let's take a look.
Oh, yeah, this is very exciting.
Hey, what are you doing there?
Hey, what do you think you're...
Hey, hey, get away from there.
What's going on?
He was playing with the paper cups.
Well, so?
They're less than a penny a piece.
Oh, yeah, and who's going to clean it up?
Me?
I don't think so.
Run along, sweetheart.
I'll be right there.
Don't you ever talk to my son again.
You're just a bully.
What did you say to me?
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Geez, I don't know, Chris.
That seems pretty violent compared to your past record.
You know, it's odd that you bring that up.
The network's already giving me flack about this.
They say that for a four-minute show, 176 acts of violence per show is just
ridiculous.
Can you beat that?
Well, you know, I kind of agree with them.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry.
Dave, you're one of them.
No, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.
Oh, boy.
Well, anyway, we're going to try to soften it up a little bit.
We're looking for a little romance, trying to find a female counterpart.
Yeah, what kind of an actress are you looking for?
Somebody with big hooters.
No, I'm just joking.
Yeah, yeah.
No, but seriously, if you're going to have a broad hanging around all day, gabbing
in
your ear, she might as well be something to look at.
Am I right?
Okay, listen, Chris, thank you very much for stopping by.
What, am I through here?
No, we've got to run.
What do you got, stupid dog tricks coming up next or something?
Child inventors.
We're going to be a lot of fun.
We'll look for that new series, though.
Yeah, thanks very much.
Congratulations to you.
Oh, yeah, thank you.
We'll be right back, folks.
Take the $6 million man, bleach his hair, trim his beard, give him a bad
attitude and a gun,
and then send him traveling into the future, to a world where love no longer
exists.
Put it all together and you've got Chris Elliott's new running character, The
Regulator Guy, coming
next week to late night on most of these NBC stations.
Thursday, on the sizzling season premiere of The Regulator Guy, can The Regulator
deal with the ultimate insult?
Can The Regulator Guy, can The Regulator deal with the ultimate insult, I'm a
what?
Explosives, says the Chicago Sun-Times, I told you not to call me that.
You'll see what happens when you call The Regulator the wrong thing.
Ah, ah, ah!
Chris Elliott's performance is a sheer delight, a joyful celebration.
Tom Shales of The Washington Post.
Strap yourself in for the television event of the decade.
The series that has attracted more publicity and more controversy before its
initial airing than any other series in television history.
with the possible exception of The Fugitive Guy.
Oh, we'll have squirrel tonight, all right?
Oh yeah, no, I understand, hey guys, I don't, get down all of you, now, up
against the wall!
It's time for America to face the facts, we need him.
The Regulator Guy, Thursday, on NBC.
Be there.
What did he say, we'll have squirrel tonight, is that what he said?
Uh, Sir Alec Guinness playing around in the control room.
The sizzling premiere of the hot new series, The Regulator Guy, starring Chris
Elliott, with special guest star Martin Balsam, will not be seen tonight.
But we'll return next week, and it's regularly scheduled time.
Now, stay tuned for a very special visit to the New York City Toy Fair,
featuring David Letterman.
Thank you very much.
Is that, is that you playing the harmonica?
I play a little harp, yeah.
Sounds great.
The tension is mounting, the anticipation has become almost unbearable.
But we do promise, The Regulator Guy, is on his way.
Unfortunately, the sizzling season premiere had to be preempted last week, but
there's no stopping him now.
The long wait is over.
Strap yourself in for the television event, which has been hailed a celebration
of lawlessness and violence.
Chris Elliott will be The Regulator Guy, Thursday on NBC.
The Regulator Guy is coming.
The Regulator Guy is coming.
The Regulator Guy, starring Chris Elliott, with Chris's special guests Pat Hingle
and Fritz Weaver, will not be seen tonight, but will return next week at its
regularly scheduled time.
Now, stay tuned for some big laughs with a very special presentation: Dave's
Rainy Day Parade, next on NBC.
Okay, hi.
Paul.
Paul, I have the light scent of liver on my hands.
Thursday, President Reagan's speech to the nation will not be aired on this
network, so that we may bring you the long-awaited first episode of The Fugitive.
The Fugitive.
The Regulator Guy, starring Chris Elliott.
Nothing will stop him now.
Okay, we're all eagerly awaiting the premiere of The Regulator Guy.
He's been waiting, and tomorrow night, Chris Elliott will burst into your home
and take you hostage for the evening as the most preempted running character in
television history,
and finally sees the light of day, The Regulator Guy, tomorrow, on NBC.
Okay, and so tomorrow, finally, we'll get to see The Regulator Guy.
It was delayed last week because of a decision from the news department here at
NBC.
They came in and messed things up, the news department here.
What's the guy's name?
Lawrence Grossman, President of NBC News, came in and said, "No, we don't want
that."
I'll put that on your air.
This is an exciting night for all of us here at the NBC and on the late-night
production team.
We've all been looking forward to this for quite some time now.
It seems like it's, geez, years in the making, but here at last, the premiere
of NBC's newest action-adventure program, The Regulator Guy.
Please stay tuned.
The Regulator Guy.
Please stay tuned.
Please stay tuned.
The Regulator Guy.
The Regulator Guy.
The Regulator Guy.
Starring Chris Elliott.
The Regulator Guy.
Tonight's episode, "The Omega Men."
Tonight's 