Name: Tower Drop Collection on Letterman, 1984-86
Uploaded: 2018-01-18T03:39:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tower Drop Collection on Letterman, 1984-86' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-01-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tower Drop Collection on Letterman, 1984-86' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-01-18. Transcript available.

Tower Drop Collection on Letterman, 1984-86

Thank you. Thanks, Paul.
You know, here in America, we enjoy many blessings of freedom.
We can think of what we want to think, we can say what we want,
and perhaps the most precious liberty of all,
we can drop stuff off a five-story tower.
So, rather than let our forefathers' sacrifices be in vain,
we have decided to do just that.
It all started about one year ago, and not too very far from where we are right
now.
That's when we started running over things with a 30,000-pound steamroller.
From there, we went on to over-inflating things with an air compressor.
Tonight, perhaps our most exciting, most dramatic, and most scientific
experiment,
we throw stuff off a five-story tower.
You know it's going to be fun.
I'd like to see some stuff thrown off a tall building.
A bowling ball.
It's dangerous.
It's exciting.
It's sick.
A bowling ball.
And how about a six-pack of beer?
For those of you who are thinking that we're just wasting a lot of time and
money here,
let's do a little something educational for you,
recreating the experiment that Galileo performed so many, many years ago.
This time we'll be using a six-pack of regular beer and a six-pack of light
beer.
And if we were to the two fall more quickly.
I'd like to see a grandfather clock.
Some sort of old joke about wanting to see time fly?
Sure.
Why not?
Go ahead.
Some balloons filled with guacamole.
Here we have the balloons filled with guacamole.
And this is the most frequently request item that we drop today.
Wile and Coyote.
One from the cartoon.
Sure, we love to recreate classic cartoon moments.
And today, a little something from the Roadrunner.
How about a wedding cake?
Well, it's certainly an unusual request.
But sure, yeah, if that's what you'd like to see, no problem.
Well, there you have it.
I certainly hope that you, the home viewers, have enjoyed this as much as we
have the actual participants.
You know, it's been a full day for us throwing things off the top of the tower,
and I'm tired.
But, you know, it's a good kind of tired.
Thank you.
Good night.
Drive safely.
Let's go.
Okay.
Stephanie Zimbalist will be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
We'll be here after this, folks.
We'll be right after this, folks.
We'll be here right after this, folks.
Recently, our own late-night labs were fortunate enough
to receive a large government grant,
several very generous gifts from the Ford Foundation,
and a decade's worth of funding from the United Nations.
We decided to use this money to throw stuff off a five-story tower.
Thank you.
Here now are some more highlights of our continuing quest
for a better tomorrow.
It all began by crushing things with a 30,000-pound steamroller.
Next, we overinflated things with an air compressor.
And now, once again, from this scenic vantage point,
we continue with our important work.
Tonight, perhaps our most exciting, most dramatic,
and most scientific experiment,
we throw stuff off a five-story tower.
You know it's going to be fun.
I'd like to see a typewriter.
A manual typewriter.
How about Cookie Puss?
The world's most lovable ice cream character.
Cookie Puss.
Something from Star Wars.
How about a Slinky?
You're talking about the Slinky,
America's favorite coiled steel spring toy.
Ready?
Oh, my goodness.
Shock-proof watch.
And for the timepiece,
we have selected the
Timex
17-jeweled
shock-protected
men's wristwatch.
It's working perfectly now.
How about a couple of cantaloupes?
I'd like to see a watermelon.
Oh, yeah.
The assorted melon plate.
First, we started with cantaloupe.
And what assorted melon plate
would be complete
with a watermelon?
How about a really loud radio?
Okay.
You don't have to worry
about being annoyed
by these on the bus
too much longer.
Let me turn this up.
You know, it's been a full day
for us throwing things
off the top of the tower
and I'm tired,
but, you know,
it's a good kind of tired.
Thank you.
Good night.
Drive safely.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Can we do it?
I'm sorry?
Okay.
Can we do it after the station break?
Okay.
I'll tell you what,
we have plenty of show left.
We have to pause now
for station identification.
We'll be back
to meet Mr. David Mamet
and Joel Hodgson
right after this stage.
Flash bulbs would be good.
How about a few light bulbs?
How about a DC-10?
Okay.
I'd really like to see
something growing
out of a tall building.
Well, to request,
I'd like to see
some things thrown
off a tall building.
Oh, like a cassava melon?
Maybe somebody could throw
a cassava melon
at somebody?
But we want you to say,
I'd like to see
some things thrown
off a tall building.
Well, I'd like to see
some things thrown
off a tall building,
but I wouldn't want
to be down below
when it happens.
Thank you.
Paul Schaefer,
ladies and gentlemen.
Nice job, Paul.
Monday on this program,
Martin Mull will be here.
Also, a man who's written
a couple of very
entertaining books.
This one is called
The Choking Doberman.
His name is Jan Harold Brunvand.
He will be here.
And later tonight,
Carol Leifer will be here
and Meyer Rice.
We're again.
Paul, when we go to Milwaukee,
I'm going to buy you
the thickest steak in town.
That's right.
Boy, am I looking forward to that.
You bet you are.
And bring the other gentleman
in the band.
Oh, thank you, sir.
Isn't that nice of you?
Thank you very much.
What a wimpy sound that was.
That's not your normal one.
Well, that's one of my characters.
Oh, well, let's hear it again.
That's the wimpy.
Well, thank you very much, sir.
Thank you.
And what does the character have a name?
One of my many characters.
Does it have a name,
that character?
Yeah.
What is the name of that character?
Uh, uh, Wimpy.
Yeah, this is getting nowhere fast.
Yeah.
Um, excuse me.
Here at Late Night,
as you know by now,
we are dedicated to expanding
the frontiers of human knowledge.
That's why last week,
we returned to the five-story tower
to drop more stuff off it.
Here in service to the needs of mankind
are the results of our experiments.
According to a recent Gallup poll,
the three things that Americans
seem to want most are
clean air,
financial security,
and world peace.
Well, obviously,
there's nothing we can do
about those things for you,
but tonight,
I believe we can bring you
the next best thing.
That's right.
We're going to drop stuff
off a five-story tower.
How about something really fancy?
Well, I hope this is
fancy enough for you.
The finest crystal
money can buy.
Today's my birthday.
How about a birthday cake?
Uh, okay, sure.
Happy birthday,
and congratulations.
I would like to see you
drop another chandelier.
Another chandelier?
No.
No, we only had
one chandelier.
How about a sack
of marbles?
All right.
Can you recreate a scene
from The Fall Guy?
Oh, sure.
We can recreate that for you.
An action scene
from the hit TV show
The Fall Guy
starring Lee Majors.
I'd like to see
a bag of flour.
Remember when you were a kid
the expression
hit the cement
like a bag of flour?
Well, let's find out.
I want to see
a Mexican piñata
and fill it
with baked beans.
Gee, I wish
somebody was supervising
these requests.
Someone's life savings.
Hmm.
All right.
Well, it seems a little,
uh,
okay, what the heck?
Someone's life savings.
Show me something
I can tell my grandchildren
about years from now.
You know,
I think that's an important
consideration for all of us.
And believe me, ma'am,
you've come to the right place.
We'll be right back
We'll be right back
with Meyer Rice-Wurg.
Thank you, Paul.
Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.
Coming up in, uh,
the next half hour
of this program,
Arnold Schwarzenegger
will be here
from his new film
Conan the Destroyer
and also comedian
Larry Miller
will be joining us
tomorrow on the program.
Robert Kline will be here,
actress Barbara Carrera
and bubble master
Eiffel Plasterer
will be here.
Eiffel Plasterer.
That's right.
Yeah, this man,
I understand,
is from Indiana.
Is that correct?
From Indiana.
And he will,
in case,
enclose us in a bubble.
His name is?
Eiffel Plasterer.
And his title is?
Bubble master.
Okay.
Eiffel Plasterer.
It could just be
a stage name, you know.
It's good to have
a catchy name like that
if you're going
into show business.
So his complete billing
then would be
bubble master
Eiffel Plasterer.
That's right.
That's right.
It's, uh,
in fact,
let's give the folks
a minute to circle this
in their TV guides.
Bubble master
Eiffel Plasterer.
Ask...
What did I say?
Ask for it by name
except no substitutes.
Well,
what thinking person
has not wondered
what great men of science
like Galileo,
Copernicus,
or Einstein
would do
if they were alive today
and had a video camera
and a five-story tower?
We believe
they would drop stuff
off it.
Here it is.
The night you've
been waiting for.
The pride
of the NBC
television schedule.
We're back again
on top of the
five-story tower
dropping all new stuff
bigger and better
than ever.
Solid entertainment.
I want to see you
drop a sandwich.
The most popular
American sandwich.
Peanut butter.
Jelly.
Here you are.
Are you liking it?
Yeah!
I want to see you
make an omelet.
I must admit
we were expecting
this one
and we're way ahead of you.
Here you go.
Farm fresh eggs.
Peppers.
Red and green.
And red ripe tomatoes.
Mmm, boy.
There's good eating.
May I please
see a coconut?
What a lovely suggestion
and since you asked
for such a nice
pleasant fashion
not only am I
going to toss
one,
two,
that's right,
we're going to
heave three off of here.
After all,
this is network television.
I'd like to see
some pretty
Christmas decorations.
A sack full
of colorful
Christmas tree ornaments?
Fine,
we have a sack full
right here.
A stack of pancakes
would be good.
I'll tell you what,
let me go to one better.
How about two
huge stacks
of golden brown
hotcakes?
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Coming right up.
Please do my favorite,
a watermelon.
How about some
chewing gum?
Gum?
Sure.
May I have the
gum, please?
Thank you very much.
Here we go.
You can pick out
your favorite flavors.
I want to see
what a bug
looks like
when it hits
the windshield
of a truck.
A bug hitting
the windshield
of a truck?
That's a good idea,
but it's kind of small.
How about a crow
hitting the windshield
of a Cessna?
And here's how
Steven Spielberg
does it.
A huge deep dish
full of lasagna.
Let me be right back
with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
you next time.
I want to see
Since the current
administration's
cutbacks on
financial aid,
there's been
increased responsibility
for the private sector
to carry on
the important work
once being done
by universities
and research labs.
That's why
we went back
yet another time
to drop an all-new
bunch of stuff
off of a five-story tower.
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
and welcome
to what we hope
will be a few
fine minutes
of television.
NBC, of course,
is referring tonight
as the pride
of their television lineup.
Tonight, once again,
by popular demand,
we'll be dropping things
off a five-story tower.
Something to help me
celebrate my anniversary.
Well, congratulations.
We'll be happy
to help you celebrate
that wonderful occasion
and what better way
to do it than
with some fine champagne.
We have here
some ShopRite champagne,
s