Name: Staff Nightmares Remote on Late Show, February 11, 1994
Uploaded: 2018-03-17T01:31:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Nightmares Remote on Late Show, February 11, 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-03-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Nightmares Remote on Late Show, February 11, 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-03-17. Transcript available.

I like them gin blossoms. That's the gin blossoms, isn't it?
That's right. I like them boys on the show again. They were on here, weren't
they?
They were on. They've been on a couple of times.
Coming up later, Salt-N-Pepa. It's not Pepper.
No.
Salt-N-Pepa.
That's right.
So if you go to the record store tomorrow to buy their album, don't make a fool
to yourself by asking for Salt-N-Pepa.
They'll just laugh you right out of the place.
Salt-N-Pepa.
Also, Jonathan Solomon will be on the show, and I still have a box of snowballs.
Monday on the broadcast, live from Lillehammer, Norway, my mother chatting with
Hillary Clinton.
You know, a couple of weeks ago, you know, Paul, I like to have the staff dinners
every two or three weeks.
Of course.
Me and various members of the staff go out to a restaurant.
We just chat things over and see how things are going, kind of take the
temperature of the mood of the staff.
Find out about their hopes, their fears, their dreams, their cares, their heartaches,
their joys, that sort of thing.
We went out to a Japanese restaurant, I think, two weeks ago, and the topic of
staff nightmares came up.
So that's how we spent the evening.
Fortunately, we videotaped it.
Take a look at this.
Me and the staff talking about work-related nightmares.
We want a lot of food.
We're very, very hungry.
Jeez.
Oh, ha, God.
What are you trying to...
You don't really care, do you?
I'd like some bottled water.
Yeah.
Yeah, everybody.
And a quart of scotch.
All right, we're going to begin here with Christine Schomer.
I'm standing on the street corner outside of work trying to hail a cab.
And I'm there for...
It's one of those videos where you're there for hours and hours.
Taxi!
Finally, I see a cab coming, only it's coming straight at me.
And you were the driver.
It just hits me.
Taxi!
Well, part of that is true.
I have a hack license.
That's fine.
Thank you very much.
How do you feel?
Really nice.
Right after I started working on the show,
I dreamed one night that I was dropping my jokes off.
And when I came into your office,
you and Laurie, your assistant,
were sitting in front of your television set
and you were watching soap operas.
I truly believe that it will be best for us.
And sobbing uncontrollably.
Could you please come back later?
Kathy?
My story, it's right before a show,
and Jane Pauley's on the show,
and I have to go and ask her to sign her contract.
I open the door and hit her in the head with the door.
James, Kathy!
And knock it out.
James, James, James, James, you're on.
You're on.
Good, isn't it?
You know, every time I come to a Japanese restaurant,
I like to do my impression of a walrus.
Watch this.
You ready?
A walrus.
My nightmare was horrible.
It happened when we first started doing the show.
Right.
And I lost the cue cards
for the opening jokes.
And you came out,
and I couldn't find them.
And it wasn't going very well.
How did the audience go for that?
Well, they started booing you.
Although, if I had to,
I could do the entire thing
without a script or without cue cards.
Definitely.
I could just make it up right out of my head.
Yes.
See?
Look at that.
Does it put you in the mind of a walrus?
There are your staff nightmares.
Kids, we're going to do another commercial.
When we come back,
Salt and Pepper.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.