Name: Staff Nightmares Remote on Letterman, January 15, 1993
Uploaded: 2018-03-17T03:24:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Nightmares Remote on Letterman, January 15, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-03-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Nightmares Remote on Letterman, January 15, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-03-17. Transcript available.

Welcome back to the program ladies and gentlemen, Wayne Cotter will be out here
moments from
now a very funny man, a very nice man, very well respected in his home
community. Also, Letitia
Baldridge, etiquette expert will be out here and I wish I could say the same
for her. Monday
on the program, Woody Harrelson from Cheers will be on the show. Also, the Bodines,
the
Bodines, great, great group. Can't get enough of them Bodines. Also, Bill Nye,
a very interesting
science man will be here. You know, about a week ago we decided we'd take
everybody on
the staff out to lunch and we picked a topic for staff lunchtime stories and
this week the
topic of conversation was recurring staff nightmares. Here's what happened when
we went to lunch
with the staff.
The topic is recurring nightmares that staff members have and I think Barbara
is here not
because of a nightmare but just for the free lunch. So, Barbara will be eating
and Nadine
is here not so much to tell us about a recurring nightmare but you're going to
scream with blood
curdling terror when you hear something frightening from one of the stories. I'll
kick the session
off. A recurring nightmare that I have is that I have my own network television
program and
that we've been on the air for 11 years and the only idea we can come up with
is to have
staff members tell about nightmares.
Basically, I'm in Dave's office. I'm in your office and you're making me move
furniture
while you sit comfortably behind your desk smoking a cigar. But in the process
of moving this furniture
from one side of the office to the other, I keep having a cross between you and
the TV set.
And each time I do that you yell at me. Move it! Move it! Move it! Move it! And
I start
getting really nervous. But I'm also curious as to what TV show is so important
that it can't
be blocked out for a single moment. So, I look at the TV and you're watching an
episode
of Stuntmasters. And I just quietly think to myself, "Man, Dave is such a loser."
And that
was it.
You know, you're certainly entitled to other opinions, but it's a fine show.
Okay.
So, I was running in the park and I was just getting to the carousel when I
hear this noise
behind me. And, um, I didn't pay any attention to it, but it was getting louder
and louder.
And I figured out it was the sound of, like, a diesel engine in the low gear.
And it was
coming right up behind me. So, I started to run faster. And, um, I turned
around to look
and it was you in a garbage truck. And you were, you were chasing me.
Faster! Run! Run! I'll crush you like a grape!
Well, that was pretty scary, wasn't it? You alright, Paolo? Paolo, you okay?
Man, that
was scary.
In my dream, I was meeting a friend for lunch. And...
You're dreaming right there.
Yeah, right. And, uh, I met up with her and I told her I was working at the
David Letterman
show. She said, "No way." And I said, "Yeah, I actually am working here. I'm
really happy.
It's great." She said, "I don't believe you. I can't believe you." And she was
in awe.
I said, "Well, I can prove it to you. I can manifest Dave right here."
Conjuring him up.
Right. I can, you know, I have that power because I work at the show.
So, I started doing...
I started doing a dance and, excuse me, chanting, "Dave, Dave."
Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave.
Hey, I've materialized America's beloved film critics, just Helen Eber.
Where's Dave?
I don't know where Dave is. Buzz off, sister. The balcony's closed.
Do you want some more, Dave?
I'll take care of this. Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
Thank you very much.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Oh!
Che brutto sogno!
Cos'è successo?
Ven back, sogno.
Che brutto sogno, no?
Che sogno.
There you go.
Lunchtime with the staff.
We have to do another commercial.
We'll be right back with Wayne Potter.
Come on back, guys.
Yeah.
There you go.
Lunchtime with the staff.
We have to do another commercial.
We'll be right back with Wayne Potter.
Come on back, guys.
Thank you.
Thank you.