Name: Marvin Zindler on Letterman, October 14, 1982
Uploaded: 2018-03-26T15:16:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marvin Zindler on Letterman, October 14, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-03-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marvin Zindler on Letterman, October 14, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-03-26. Transcript available.

Good evening and welcome back to the program. We have a fine show for you
tonight. George Miller
will be joining us later in the program and my next guest is a flamboyant and
highly effective
consumer advocate for Channel 13 in Houston, Texas, whose most famous expose
involved a
chicken ranch. Let's take a look at him in action now. Watch the monitors if
you will.
Well, I'm glad Grandma Carter will get a refund. It may ease her aggravation,
but with all the
competition and some airlines in financial trouble, you would think they'd be
more considerate
of passengers, especially the elderly. I'm sick and tired of people being mistreated
at the
airport. Someday, someday when there's another mode of transportation, the
airlines will be
begging for these passengers. Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News.
He was pretty brave and kept coming out for a little nibble on some food on the
floor.
The cook here has to be pretty brave, too. I don't get scared. I just don't
like working
with them. Do they come in very often while you're just standing there? They're
always running
in and out. That is, I mean, mice are always running in and out here. Yeah,
when you're cooking
and all. Well, they've been told about them. You know, they put out mousetraps
and things
like that. The Sambo's restaurant at 4602 Tacoma is still closed for cleanup
and repairs. They will not
open up until the health department gives them an okay. Well, tomorrow, we'll
visit a fast food chain
that doesn't like clowns on their property. But that didn't stop me. Marvin Zindler,
Eyewitness News.
Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News. Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News.
Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News. And now, please welcome Marvin Zindler.
So, I understand you work for Eyewitness News. Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News.
How did you develop this? I guess it's a distinctive little signature. How did
that
come about? It just comes about naturally because it's the syllables in it and
it's pretty difficult
for me to say my name without saying it particularly. Is it difficult to say
your name without doing
that? Well, try it once. Okay, if I was to do a commentary like I was doing
there and then
I'd come out and say Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News, it just wouldn't be good.
No, it wouldn't
work. No, we'd bring the pig back out if that's right. And incidentally, the
folks back home
thinks it's appropriate for me to follow a pig act.
How long have you been on the air in Houston there?
It'll be ten years in January the 1st. And people, you're kind of a cult hero
there? People imitate your style?
Most of the kids do. One, two, three, four, five years old.
Now, you said here in the introduction that you're a consumer advocate. What
kind of letters do you get and what kind of problems do you handle?
Well, I don't take care about the word consumer advocate because it takes in
all kinds of problems, inequities, I feel. It doesn't necessarily mean somebody
went out and bought something. It's all kinds of problems.
And what are recent problems that you've been addressing yourselves to?
Last night, or night before last, I did a story on a man who had had a bypass,
a triple bypass, back in September of 1981. And when he came out of the
hospital, about a month later, he starts getting these letters from the
guardian plan of pre-funeral arrangements. And the guy starts getting upset
because he thought the hospital and the doctor had sent him these, had given
his name to the funeral.
Yeah, or maybe they knew something.
Well, when I went out and interviewed this man, and he's about six foot four
and weighs about 300 pounds, works for a trucking company, he sat up there and
he's very serious. He says, you know, I thought they knew something that I didn't
know.
And of course, he had called and tried to get him to stop sending him these
letters, which came to him about every month or so. And so finally, this was,
this was one of the stories that I did.
Yeah. Now, the big story that I guess got you some national attention is the
one we're going to talk about in a minute about the, the whorehouse in Texas
there. Is that right?
Well, the whorehouse in Texas has become a kind of a household word. I never
heard that word before on television.
What do you mean? You never heard of whorehouse before on television?
Well, we've always heard of this body house or house of prostitution, but never
whorehouse.
Oh, really? Well, you can't, maybe you can't say whorehouse.
I've just recently been able to say it without being embarrassed.
Oh, really? Did it embarrass you to say it? Try it once.
Yeah.
Whorehouse.
Whorehouse.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We had a, we had a pause here for a commercial. We'll be right back with Marvin
Zindler from
Hi, with me, the news.
Thank you.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to the show. A reminder here.
Monday, join us. We will have the owner and founder of cosmetics firm, Mary Kay
Cosmetics. That would be Mary Kay herself. Yes, a murmur races through the
audience.
Also, comedian Larry Miller. That's interesting. Tonight, we're having George
Miller. Monday, Larry Miller. Apparently, we're down to the M's in the big book
of comics.
Also, sports commentator and former coach of the Kansas City Chiefs, Hank Stram.
And here's something I'd tune in for. Dave's grab bag.
That's right. I'll be here for Dave's grab bag. That'll be Monday. And still to
come on this show tonight, we have, of course, Marvin Zindler. Aye, witness
news, and some predictions from the National Enquirer.
Marvin, you want to take a look at the footage that we've compiled when, I
guess you, what did you do with the chicken ranch? This is the whorehouse that
we were talking about in Texas.
Well, this went back to '73 when the Attorney General's office asked me to come
in and do a story on the chicken ranch because they couldn't get it closed down
because the DA over there, the District Attorney, said that it had been going
on for 100 years and he wasn't going to close it.
And, of course, the Attorney General in Texas doesn't have criminal
jurisdiction over these counties, so I started doing the survey.
Now, how do people feel about this? Were they for closing it down or against
closing it down? Just the populace?
Well, it was really funny to see 80-year-old women and 70-year-old women get
mad at me because I was able to close down a whorehouse.
I never did figure out why, but maybe they worked there maybe 75 years ago. I
don't know.
And this, of course, is the Broadway musical came from this and the, what do
you call it, the film?
The show, the film.
The movie came from it?
If you want to call that a movie, yes.
You didn't care for the movie?
No, I really didn't. I thought they had, it was strictly a Burt Reynolds movie.
Well, he was in it.
Yes.
Oh, I see.
Okay, well, let's take a look at the, we have some footage here of, uh, uh,
this, what are we going to see here, Marvin?
Just you and the...
I have no idea what you all put together.
Okay, we're all pretty well confused.
Action 13 received an anonymous complaint about two alleged houses of prostitution.
The complainant said the houses were operating openly in our neighboring towns
of Seeley and LaGrange.
It's illegal to operate a house of prostitution in Texas, and past history
shows they cannot function without someone in authority protecting them.
Rick Armstrong and I returned to the LaGrange site, this time in a marked car.
Minutes later, a woman who identified herself as Edna Milton came out, said she
owned the house and land.
She wanted us to leave, but Armstrong remained in the car, and he continued
filming as I got a lengthy interview with a woman.
I asked, what kind of business was she running?
I have a boarding house here.
Is that all it is?
It's enough.
You're not operating a house of prostitution?
Whether I am or not doesn't come in the heading of your business.
Sheriff says Edna Milton, who says she owns the house, makes numerous
contributions to the community.
He says she donates to the Little League, gives to a private swimming pool,
gave $10,000 to help build a new hospital, and even contributes to the churches.
I believe that all the money she makes out there is spent right here in town.
You don't think it's linked to any organized crime anywhere else?
I know damn well there's no organized crime connected in any way whatever.
Has your office, or you, or any of your deputies ever accepted any money from
her, or any way like that?
Not a penny.
There was no payoff anywhere in the world to anybody.
Now, that was supposed to be the Sheriff that we saw.
The Sheriff that we saw.
Bert Reynolds played his part.
Uh-huh.
And Dolly Parton played the part of the madam.
Dolly Parton played the madam.
Incidentally, the madam actually played on Broadway for about a month in the
old, when the musical was playing here.
She played the part of herself in the musical?
Oh, she played the elderly madam in the wheelchair that died and left it to her.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
But other than that, pretty much dead ringers there for Bert and Dolly, aren't
they?
And in the movie, you were played by whom?
Dom DeLuise.
Now, what was your reaction to the film?
You said already you didn't care for it, but other than that...
Well, of course, I would have liked to have seen Johnny Carson play me.
They tried to get him to play me.
Oh, they did?
They asked Johnny to play you?
Yes.
I thought he'd be a good one.
And if he wouldn't have played it, I'd have liked to have seen Ted Knight play
me, because I think Ted Knight would be a good one.
Well, now, uh...
I'd like to have seen Willie Nelson play the Sheriff.
Uh-huh.
But, unfortunately, Universal had their own ideas, and so they're making more
money, I guess, than they would have if all these others...
You thought about suing them, though, didn't you?
Well, I thought about it, but, you know, I haven't lost anything out of it, so
there's no way...
Anybody can sue, but collecting or getting a judgment is something else, and
there'd been no way I could have ever won that case.
So, there's no more prostitution in and around Houston, I'm guessing now, huh?
Yes, we have plenty of prostitution in Houston, but that's not the problem.
The problem is it's not open, it's not protected, and if these gals want to get
out and make it on their own, and if they get caught, they've got to pay the
price, that's fine.
But for law enforcement, for public officials to allow it to operate because
they have a badge to do it, I don't think it's right, and that's the reason I
did it.
Didn't the sheriff punch you, the old guy?
He broke some of my ribs, which they eventually paid for.
Now, I noticed in the videotape we looked at earlier, you looked differently
then. Of course, it was 1973.
Well, I only had six cos... I was, you know, I heard you say you're going to
have this young lady on...
Well, she's not a young lady, but she's a lady coming on your program, a
cosmetic... what's her name?
Oh, Mary Kay.
Mary Kay. Well, of course, I've had six cosmetic surgeries.
Really?
Since, in fact, my navel's almost on the top of my head, but...
Now, that's just a joke, isn't it?
Not really, almost.
Just a joke there.
Now, let's talk about your appearance. Now, you're... is that a toupee you're
wearing?
It's a hairpiece, yes.
Yeah, and, uh...
Not all of it is, but most of it is.
Yeah, you seem really... you're, of course, obviously a flamboyant character.
I don't know what the word flamboyant means. It's been... it's been described
to me on different ways and I really don't know.
Yeah, but what was your...
What is flamboyant?
Well, I think somebody who is... does things in an exaggerated fashion in...
for... to call attention to his or herself.
Would... does that be close enough?
I don't know. People say that I do. I don't know what I do.
Well, now, what was your reason for the cosmetic surgery? Not that it's any of
my business, but...
Well, because, uh... back in... back in 1950, I did... when television first
started, I was on television.
I was a news reporter and a cameraman at that time.
We didn't have the luxuries that we have today having a crammer crew and a...
and being a reporter.
So, uh... while I was on the air for about a year, year and a half, the station
manager says... told the news director,
He says, "Get that guy, Zenner, off the air, because he's too damn ugly."
And so...
Yeah, did they come to you and say, "Marvin, uh... came to me and said..."
"Everything's great. Just one little problem."
He said, "You can interview, but stay off the camp."
Yeah.
So, I didn't think much about it and I said, "Well, hell, nobody's watching
television in 1951."
So, I went to work for a newspaper.
And then, after I'd worked for that newspaper for a few years, I... I kept
thinking about it.
And my family's in the department store business and I have these three-way
mirrors.
And I kept looking in that three-way mirror at myself and that nose of mine and
all that kind of stuff.
No chin.
And... and I said, "You know, that guy's right."
So, I started down... had it... that's when I started my first cosmetic surgery
in '54.
You had a... you had a... brought in a... a chin. They did something to your
nose.
But you're not... I understand that you're not... you're not bald, are you?
No, I... I shaved my head, but I thought I was going to be bald because my
father was bald.
But, unfortunately, I didn't get bald, but I still...
But see, now, that defeats... I mean, if you're not bald, you know, if it's not
raining out, leave the umbrella at home, you know?
Um...
Now we've done it. All hell is broken loose.
Um...
Now, do we have... let me ask you about this.
Do you ever... do you know anything about twirling a baton?
Is it true that you were a champion baton twirler?
God, I didn't think he was going to bring that out.
Well, we have, um...
How long... how long has it been since you've had one of these?
Oh, about a month.
Really? You... you... you're an active baton twirler?
I still twirl, yes. I... I twirl sometimes between the halves of the... of the
Rice University games, and, uh...
I put on little... deals for charity programs.
Well, I... you know, I don't think we can let you out of here live without a
little demonstration of this.
I... I think that the audience would probably be cheated.
Uh... if we didn't... do you mind, Marvin? A little just...
Well, I'll try it.
All right.
Marvin is in there, ladies and gentlemen.
I witness news.
Of course, you know I'm 61 years old.
No, I didn't know that.
Yes.
You don't look 61 years old.
You have to take that in consideration.
All right, sir.
In case my arthritis or bursitis affects me.
Go ahead.
I need a little music for this, yes. A little march music.
No!
We have to pause for a commercial. We'll be right back.
Thank you, Marvin. Mighty impressive.

Marvin Zindler on Letterman, October 14, 1982

Good evening and welcome back to the program. We have a fine show for you
tonight. George Miller
will be joining us later in the program and my next guest is a flamboyant and
highly effective
consumer advocate for Channel 13 in Houston, Texas, whose most famous expose
involved a
chicken ranch. Let's take a look at him in action now. Watch the monitors if
you will.
Well, I'm glad Grandma Carter will get a refund. It may ease her aggravation,
but with all the
competition and some airlines in financial trouble, you would think they'd be
more considerate
of passengers, especially the elderly. I'm sick and tired of people being mistreated
at the
airport. Someday, someday when there's another mode of transportation, the
airlines will be
begging for these passengers. Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News.
He was pretty brave and kept coming out for a little nibble on some food on the
floor.
The cook here has to be pretty brave, too. I don't get scared. I just don't
like working
with them. Do they come in very often while you're just standing there? They're
always running
in and out. That is, I mean, mice are always running in and out here. Yeah,
when you're cooking
and all. Well, they've been told about them. You know, they put out mousetraps
and things
like that. The Sambo's restaurant at 4602 Tacoma is still closed for cleanup
and repairs. They will not
open up until the health department gives them an okay. Well, tomorrow, we'll
visit a fast food chain
that doesn't like clowns on their property. But that didn't stop me. Marvin Zindler,
Eyewitness News.
Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News. Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News.
Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News. And now, please welcome Marvin Zindler.
So, I understand you work for Eyewitness News. Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News.
How did you develop this? I guess it's a distinctive little signature. How did
that
come about? It just comes about naturally because it's the syllables in it and
it's pretty difficult
for me to say my name without saying it particularly. Is it difficult to say
your name without doing
that? Well, try it once. Okay, if I was to do a commentary like I was doing
there and then
I'd come out and say Marvin Zindler, Eyewitness News, it just wouldn't be good.
No, it wouldn't
work. No, we'd bring the pig back out if that's right. And incidentally, the
folks back home
thinks it's appropriate for me to follow a pig act.
How long have you been on the air in Houston there?
It'll be ten years in January the 1st. And people, you're kind of a cult hero
there? People imitate your style?
Most of the kids do. One, two, three, four, five years old.
Now, you said here in the introduction that you're a consumer advocate. What
kind of letters do you get and what kind of problems do you handle?
Well, I don't take care about the word consumer advocate because it takes in
all kinds of problems, inequities, I feel. It doesn't necessarily mean somebody
went out and bought something. It's all kinds of problems.
And what are recent problems that you've been addressing yourselves to?
Last night, or night before last, I did a story on a man who had had a bypass,
a triple bypass, back in September of 1981. And when he came out of the
hospital, about a month later, he starts getting these letters from the
guardian plan of pre-funeral arrangements. And the guy starts getting upset
because he thought the hospital and the doctor had sent him these, had given
his name to the funeral.
Yeah, or maybe they knew something.
Well, when I went out and interviewed this man, and he's about six foot four
and weighs about 300 pounds, works for a trucking company, he sat up there and
he's very serious. He says, you know, I thought they knew something that I didn't
know.
And of course, he had called and tried to get him to stop sending him these
letters, which came to him about every month or so. And so finally, this was,
this was one of the stories that I did.
Yeah. Now, the big story that I guess got you some national attention is the
one we're going to talk about in a minute about the, the whorehouse in Texas
there. Is that right?
Well, the whorehouse in Texas has become a kind of a household word. I never
heard that word before on television.
What do you mean? You never heard of whorehouse before on television?
Well, we've always heard of this body house or house of prostitution, but never
whorehouse.
Oh, really? Well, you can't, maybe you can't say whorehouse.
I've just recently been able to say it without being embarrassed.
Oh, really? Did it embarrass you to say it? Try it once.
Yeah.
Whorehouse.
Whorehouse.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We had a, we had a pause here for a commercial. We'll be right back with Marvin
Zindler from
Hi, with me, the news.
Thank you.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to the show. A reminder here.
Monday, join us. We will have the owner and founder of cosmetics firm, Mary Kay
Cosmetics. That would be Mary Kay herself. Yes, a murmur races through the
audience.
Also, comedian Larry Miller. That's interesting. Tonight, we're having George
Miller. Monday, Larry Miller. Apparently, we're down to the M's in the big book
of comics.
Also, sports commentator and former coach of the Kansas City Chiefs, Hank Stram.
And here's something I'd tune in for. Dave's grab bag.
That's right. I'll be here for Dave's grab bag. That'll be Monday. And still to
come on this show tonight, we have, of course, Marvin Zindler. Aye, witness
news, and some predictions from the National Enquirer.
Marvin, you want to take a look at the footage that we've compiled when, I
guess you, what did you do with the chicken ranch? This is the whorehouse that
we were talking about in Texas.
Well, this went back to '73 when the Attorney General's office asked me to come
in and do a story on the chicken ranch because they couldn't get it closed down
because the DA over there, the District Attorney, said that it had been going
on for 100 years and he wasn't going to close it.
And, of course, the Attorney General in Texas doesn't have criminal
jurisdiction over these counties, so I started doing the survey.
Now, how do people feel about this? Were they for closing it down or against
closing it down? Just the populace?
Well, it was really funny to see 80-year-old women and 70-year-old women get
mad at me because I was able to close down a whorehouse.
I never did figure out why, but maybe they worked there maybe 75 years ago. I
don't know.
And this, of course, is the Broadway musical came from this and the, what do
you call it, the film?
The show, the film.
The movie came from it?
If you want to call that a movie, yes.
You didn't care for the movie?
No, I really didn't. I thought they had, it was strictly a Burt Reynolds movie.
Well, he was in it.
Yes.
Oh, I see.
Okay, well, let's take a look at the, we have some footage here of, uh, uh,
this, what are we going to see here, Marvin?
Just you and the...
I have no idea what you all put together.
Okay, we're all pretty well confused.
Action 13 received an anonymous complaint about two alleged houses of prostitution.
The complainant said the houses were operating openly in our neighboring towns
of Seeley and LaGrange.
It's illegal to operate a house of prostitution in Texas, and past history
shows they cannot function without someone in authority protecting them.
Rick Armstrong and I returned to the LaGrange site, this time in a marked car.
Minutes later, a woman who identified herself as Edna Milton came out, said she
owned the house and land.
She wanted us to leave, but Armstrong remained in the car, and he continued
filming as I got a lengthy interview with a woman.
I asked, what kind of business was she running?
I have a boarding house here.
Is that all it is?
It's enough.
You're not operating a house of prostitution?
Whether I am or not doesn't come in the heading of your business.
Sheriff says Edna Milton, who says she owns the house, makes numerous
contributions to the community.
He says she donates to the Little League, gives to a private swimming pool,
gave $10,000 to help build a new hospital, and even contributes to the churches.
I believe that all the money she makes out there is spent right here in town.
You don't think it's linked to any organized crime anywhere else?
I know damn well there's no organized crime connected in any way whatever.
Has your office, or you, or any of your deputies ever accepted any money from
her, or any way like that?
Not a penny.
There was no payoff anywhere in the world to anybody.
Now, that was supposed to be the Sheriff that we saw.
The Sheriff that we saw.
Bert Reynolds played his part.
Uh-huh.
And Dolly Parton played the part of the madam.
Dolly Parton played the madam.
Incidentally, the madam actually played on Broadway for about a month in the
old, when the musical was playing here.
She played the part of herself in the musical?
Oh, she played the elderly madam in the wheelchair that died and left it to her.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
But other than that, pretty much dead ringers there for Bert and Dolly, aren't
they?
And in the movie, you were played by whom?
Dom DeLuise.
Now, what was your reaction to the film?
You said already you didn't care for it, but other than that...
Well, of course, I would have liked to have seen Johnny Carson play me.
They tried to get him to play me.
Oh, they did?
They asked Johnny to play you?
Yes.
I thought he'd be a good one.
And if he wouldn't have played it, I'd have liked to have seen Ted Knight play
me, because I think Ted Knight would be a good one.
Well, now, uh...
I'd like to have seen Willie Nelson play the Sheriff.
Uh-huh.
But, unfortunately, Universal had their own ideas, and so they're making more
money, I guess, than they would have if all these others...
You thought about suing them, though, didn't you?
Well, I thought about it, but, you know, I haven't lost anything out of it, so
there's no way...
Anybody can sue, but collecting or getting a judgment is something else, and
there'd been no way I could have ever won that case.
So, there's no more prostitution in and around Houston, I'm guessing now, huh?
Yes, we have plenty of prostitution in Houston, but that's not the problem.
The problem is it's not open, it's not protected, and if these gals want to get
out and make it on their own, and if they get caught, they've got to pay the
price, that's fine.
But for law enforcement, for public officials to allow it to operate because
they have a badge to do it, I don't think it's right, and that's the reason I
did it.
Didn't the sheriff punch you, the old guy?
He broke some of my ribs, which they eventually paid for.
Now, I noticed in the videotape we looked at earlier, you looked differently
then. Of course, it was 1973.
Well, I only had six cos... I was, you know, I heard you say you're going to
have this young lady on...
Well, she's not a young lady, but she's a lady coming on your program, a
cosmetic... what's her name?
Oh, Mary Kay.
Mary Kay. Well, of course, I've had six cosmetic surgeries.
Really?
Since, in fact, my navel's almost on the top of my head, but...
Now, that's just a joke, isn't it?
Not really, almost.
Just a joke there.
Now, let's talk about your appearance. Now, you're... is that a toupee you're
wearing?
It's a hairpiece, yes.
Yeah, and, uh...
Not all of it is, but most of it is.
Yeah, you seem really... you're, of course, obviously a flamboyant character.
I don't know what the word flamboyant means. It's been... it's been described
to me on different ways and I really don't know.
Yeah, but what was your...
What is flamboyant?
Well, I think somebody who is... does things in an exaggerated fashion in...
for... to call attention to his or herself.
Would... does that be close enough?
I don't know. People say that I do. I don't know what I do.
Well, now, what was your reason for the cosmetic surgery? Not that it's any of
my business, but...
Well, because, uh... back in... back in 1950, I did... when television first
started, I was on tele