Name: The Connie Plescoe Collection on Letterman, 1987-88
Uploaded: 2018-04-09T04:15:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Connie Plescoe Collection on Letterman, 1987-88' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Connie Plescoe Collection on Letterman, 1987-88' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-09. Transcript available.

The Connie Plescoe Collection on Letterman, 1987-88

We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
Vinnie and Connie, the Pleskos.
Well, good luck to you, Connie.
You look great.
And you let us know when the blessed event arrives.
Let's do a top ten here.
Tonight's category...
Okay.
Thank you.
Hi, welcome back.
We're in the Milford Plaza.
You ever stayed in this hotel before?
One other time.
Nice place?
Oh, terrific.
How's the room service food?
They're kind of small.
Rooms are a little small, but comfortable.
Comfortable.
Yeah.
How's the food?
I don't know.
I haven't eaten here.
All right.
Let's call room service.
We've got a good show here.
Carly Simon is here, and Hunter Thompson, and Dr. Borges, the podiatrist, who
we've had held
hostage for the last week from Arizona.
He'll be here.
Are you interested in podiatry at all?
It's one of my favorite subjects.
What do you do for a living again?
You're some kind of systems dealer?
Systems consultant.
Paul, this is John Godfrey from Albany.
Hello, John.
It's Paul Schaefer.
Nice to meet you.
Are you staying in the hotel?
Yes, I am.
Right next door.
How are you finding it?
Well, it was great, but I got a little...
How do I get a dial tone on this?
I don't have a dial tone.
Well, I don't have anything.
I don't get anything there.
Sounds like somebody's on the phone.
All right.
So we were going to order some room service, but the phone doesn't seem to work.
Is it me or is it the phone?
Oh, now it's working.
By the way, over in the corner is production assistant Connie Plesko, who is
expecting a
baby just any day now.
How soon is it going to be, Connie?
It could be any time now.
Yeah, yeah.
Have you thought about leaving work early, or are you going to just...
Well, I'm going to keep working this is...
Just going to work right through.
Okay.
What would you like to eat, John?
Whatever you feel like.
Paul, what would you like to eat?
I'd love a steak sandwich.
Well, I can't get the phone again.
We have some kind of problem with the phone.
It keeps coming and going on us.
Yeah, we're working.
You want to work on it?
Thank you very much.
Well, great news, Dave.
What's up, Paul?
The Beaujolais Nouveau is in.
Is that right?
It came in.
Uh-huh.
Did you race out to the airport to get some?
It's in all the restaurants.
I didn't purchase any from my own basement stock, no.
Well, have some tonight and let us know how it is this year.
Well, I had a little at lunch, as a matter of fact.
Oh, you had a little at lunch?
At a restaurant.
And how was it?
It hits all the restaurants.
It's lovely this year.
Oh, that's good.
I like it chilled because I think that it's really just a white wine anyway.
But it's, I don't think it is.
But it is red, but I treat it like a white and chill it just a little bit in a
restaurant.
Oh, what happened to, you know, our production assistant, Connie Plesko?
Yeah, what happened?
She's not here.
She's very, very pregnant.
And I think maybe today is the day because she's not at work.
So we'll keep our fingers crossed.
She's not here.
Yeah, maybe tomorrow we'll have good news about it.
It's exciting.
Did you have a nice weekend?
Yeah, I did.
I had kind of a strenuous weekend, but a very nice one.
What about you?
I had a very good weekend myself.
Although, I must say, it's getting too cold to sleep in the yard.
Don't you think?
Oh, come on.
Thank you very much.
Welcome back to the show.
We have a, I think, a pretty good show for you tonight.
Don't you think so, Paul?
Yeah, I'm looking forward to this.
Night before Thanksgiving.
Now, you understand that little thing at the beginning.
We thought it would be funny to pretend we had a little holiday special.
Even though we don't have...
But we really didn't.
It's just the same old show.
So in other words, even though we didn't do any of the work involved in putting
together
a special Thanksgiving special.
Yeah, exactly.
We thought it would be nice to pretend that we have.
But we do have these.
We don't have to pretend any longer.
But it does.
Thanks to the miracle of these magic-weighted pencils.
For my money, this is solid entertainment.
You can't not like this.
And admire and respect this.
This is just...
They never tire.
Perfect for kids of all ages, isn't it?
Iron pencils, eh?
Did you see...
Well, I can't reveal exactly the secret behind this principle, because that
would be like
lifting the veil.
Ah.
Ah.
Did you happen to see Connie Plesko here today?
This woman has been expecting a baby now for quite some time.
Is Connie here today?
She wasn't here yesterday.
No, she wasn't here Friday, and she wasn't here yesterday.
I think maybe she has had her baby.
So we're waiting to hear about it.
Was that something over there?
Just a shot of an empty door.
Oh, there's Connie.
Hi.
Oh, I'm here.
Hi, Connie.
How are you?
Connie, you didn't have the baby.
No.
What, what, uh, is everything all right?
Yeah, yeah.
I just had to wait for the cable guy yesterday.
Yeah.
Do you watch a lot of cable, Connie?
I like to.
Yeah, what do you watch?
What was your favorite?
Well, I'm eating on the Nashville Network.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And when is the baby?
I thought the baby was due like a week ago.
No, but any, any time.
Okay.
All right.
Good luck, Connie.
Thanks.
Thanks.
It's Connie Plesko.
Is the show still on?
Yes.
Yes, it is.
We haven't finished up and gone home, have we?
No, no.
We are still on the air.
My first guest tonight...
Thank you, boys.
Ron Wood will be with us in just a moment.
Monday on the program, Tom Brokaw will be here.
He's interviewing Gorbachev Monday, isn't he?
Hmm?
Yeah.
Thank you very much.
This is a rerun Monday, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
The world's most obedient dog, Tess, will be joining us, and also comedian
George Wallace.
That will be Monday.
Paul, look who's back.
It's Connie Plesko.
This is one of our production assistants, and she's expecting her first child
soon, right, Connie?
Yeah, it could be any time.
It could be any minute now?
Any time now.
Yeah.
And is this your first child?
Yes, it is.
Yeah.
Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?
Oh, did I?
Yeah.
I ate like a pig.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
And what are your plans for the weekend, Connie?
Maybe some cross-country skiing, actually.
Yeah.
Is that with your family or Vinny's family?
Actually, some friends of Vinny's from the Coast Guard.
Okay.
Well, be careful and take care.
I will.
But any minute now, right?
It could be any time.
Yeah.
Well, enjoy yourself.
Thank you.
Isn't she cute?
Thank you.
Ate like a pig, apparently, Thanksgiving yesterday.
Boy, it's sort of uncomfortable to watch her, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here's our top ten category tonight from the home office in, excuse me, Scottsdale,
Arizona.
Welcome back to the program, folks.
Goldie Hawn is here tonight, and we have the Gourd Lady.
The Gourd Lady.
In fact, when I heard them say the Gourd Lady, I said, Gordon Liddy is here
tonight?
And they said, no, no, the Gourd Lady.
So I thought for a second it might be Gordon Liddy, but it's not.
It's the Gourd Lady.
That's right.
And also, Bob Sarlotte.
Have you seen, we have a production assistant who is expecting a baby just any
minute, and
I haven't seen her yet today.
Maybe she went to the hospital.
Has anybody seen Connie?
Oh, hi, Connie.
How are you?
Hi, Dave.
You haven't had the baby yet, obviously.
No, not yet.
When is the kid due?
Anytime now.
So it could be a Christmas baby.
Could be.
Yeah.
Well, that would be a lot of fun for you and Vince, I guess.
Vinny, is it, your husband?
Vinny, yeah.
How are you doing with your shopping?
Well, I decided to make all my presents this year.
Oh, really?
Like little cards and cookies and stuff?
No, actually, little footstools and benches and salad bowls.
Really?
You're a woodworker?
Yeah.
Vinny has a lathe in the basement, so.
Well, good luck.
Well, thanks.
Good luck.
You feel all right?
I feel great.
Your feet okay?
Yeah, they're all right.
Okay, good to see you.
Thanks.
Merry Christmas, Connie.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Connie will be in the basement turning table legs on the lathe.
Nice.
Yeah.
Yeah, turning bowls.
Yeah.
Our first guest tonight...
Okay, welcome back.
Still to come, we have many wonderful things to do on the show, most of which I
can't remember
right now.
Is Connie around?
Connie, our production assistant?
Connie Plesko.
Connie Plesko.
Oh, there she is.
Oh, hi, Connie.
How are you?
You know, Connie, this will be the last chance we get to see you for the
holidays, and obviously
you're expecting...
When are you due, exactly?
Anytime.
Anytime, right.
And we, well, we got you a little gift.
Oh, that's terrific.
You didn't have to do that.
Well, we wanted to because we think the world of you, and I'll tell you what it
is.
It's a 26-inch Panasonic cable-ready color TV.
It's right over here, and I just, I hope you enjoy it.
Wow, that's terrific.
Thanks.
Now, we can put the little black and white set in the baby's room.
Oh, that's good.
That's great.
And we'll get a couple of the stagehands and take it down to your car right
after the
show.
I can take it now.
That's all right.
You sure?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to leave early.
You have to leave early.
Yeah.
All right, well, you need some help?
No, I think I got it.
All right.
It's more bulky than heavy.
Okay, good, Connie.
I hope you enjoy that.
Well, thanks a lot.
All right, bye.
I don't want to say anything, but that woman is a whale.
She's starting to show.
Yeah.
You're right.
You're starting to show.
The milk train doesn't stop here anymore.
Let's do our top ten list and then get on with the excitement of the actual
show.
Let me tell you about our band leader, Paul Schaefer.
As a performer, he is one of a kind, but as a man, he is one of the kindest.
It is an honor to play with such an admirable human being.
Hey, Fig.
Oh, hi, Paul.
You cleaned up my dressing room yet?
Oh, right after I finish this letter.
Well, don't take all day.
Letter to your parents, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, I poured my drink all over.
Oh, well, accidents will happen.
He really played great tonight, man.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it, all right?
Okay, okay.
I'll see you later, buddy.
What a great guy.
Well, that was very nice, Paul.
Very, very nice way to treat your friend Anton.
Wait, you're breaking realities here.
That was like a wraparound concept, which has nothing to do with it.
Forget all about that.
Tomorrow on the program, oh, another good show tomorrow.
Buck Henry will be here, a very witty and amusing fellow.
Also, comedian Jeff Altman, who is just nuts.
Just full-blown, flat-out nuts.
And singer Patti Smythe.
Yes.
With the boys in the band again.
So that'll be tomorrow.
And then on tonight's program, yet to come, John, what happened to the lights,
exactly?
Hal?
Yeah.
We have a lighting problem on here.
Can we take care of this?
Have Cheryl or somebody?
Can somebody get the...
Jeff, can you just get up there and get that for us?
I can get it, Dave.
What?
I can get it.
What?
Oh, look, Paul.
It's our production assistant, Connie Plesko.
Connie.
No, wait a minute.
Connie.
Connie, be careful.
Connie, when is the baby due?
Any time now, Dave.
Yeah.
Do you need some help with that, Connie?
No, I'm all right.
We got it.
Okay, well, just for heaven's sake, be very careful.
Thank you very much for volunteering.
So are you getting ready for Christmas, Connie?
Oh, yeah, I'm doing a lot of baking.
Baking.
Oh, that's good.
Cookies and things like that?
No, lasagna.
Lasagna.
I think it's crazy about lasagna.
Yeah, yeah, well, that's good.
Well, listen, thank you very much for taking care of that light.
Well, there you go.
Perfect.
All right, listen, get down from there and go home and get yourself some rest,
for heaven's
sakes.
Go to bed early.
Not tonight, Dave.
A busload of us are going out to the Nassau Coliseum.
Uh-huh.
The Islanders are playing St. Louis.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
So you really must enjoy hockey, then.
Oh, I do.
Usually I have three or four dogs at the works and scream myself for us.
All right, Connie, well, have a nice night.
Okay.
Yeah, thank you very much.
Oh, 