Name: Margot Kidder Collection on Letterman, 1982-87
Uploaded: 2018-05-15T00:08:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Margot Kidder Collection on Letterman, 1982-87' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Margot Kidder Collection on Letterman, 1982-87' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-15. Transcript available.

Margot Kidder Collection on Letterman, 1982-87

We have a fine show. I keep saying that, don't you? I'm still a little nervous.
Margot Kidder is a very talented and articulate actress who has appeared in a
wide variety of films,
the most recent of which is called Heartaches, and we're delighted that she's
here tonight
for her first appearance on our show. Welcome, please, Margot Kidder.
You look great. You look terrific.
You changed the earrings? These are nice.
Here Margot is showing us that she has a whole selection of jewelry from which
to choose.
Why didn't you show up in these?
Well, look at these. I found a junk jewelry shop today and thought I needed a
little flash,
and the lady kept saying, I think those are a bit expensive. They're $20. Are
you sure you can get those?
So I bought a lot of them.
Oh, these are nice. This would then probably not be real onyx or something here,
huh?
No, I don't think so.
Yeah, but those are awfully nice. And this, explain this, if you will.
This is, um, I can't.
Well, it must mean something. It has a little, uh, what is that diagram on
there?
This is the designer's name, and this is a country that doesn't exist that he
made up.
Uh-huh.
Yeah. Well, that's nice.
No, it is. It's nice. I appreciate you being here.
Thank you.
Yeah, nice to see you again.
Tell me about the film, uh, Heart Aix.
By the way, my entire family and I are going to see it tonight.
We are.
Got the station wagon waiting, and, uh...
Will you call me tomorrow?
I'm going to phone you early in the morning to tell you how much we enjoyed the
film.
Okay. Heart Aix is about, um...
It's about a friendship between two women who are totally mismatched, and Annie
Potts plays
a very sweet, uh, kind of nervous, shy girl who is pregnant by someone other
than her husband,
and she's running away from him to have an abortion in the big city, and she
meets me,
loud, gonzo, obnoxious, bleached blonde, um, how shall we put it?
Hussy.
Alcoholic nymphomaniac.
Alcoholic nymphomaniac.
I have...
In the scene in which she meets me, I have a t-shirt that says,
I love men, and a fringe jacket, and dice earrings, and then I have, you know
those ear sets that...
Oh, yeah.
And I'm sitting on the bus doing this, and white cowboy boots and tight jeans,
and, uh, we meet.
Yeah.
Oh, and I have sunglasses, heart sunglasses with rhinestones on them.
So you're kind of a today gal.
Kind of a, uh...
Now, let me, I'll tell you, I'll tell you what I said earlier to you.
I saw part of this movie, and it made me so sad, but you're saying that it's
not a sad film.
It's a comedy.
It's a very, um, up and, and vibrant comedy about, uh, the friendship of these
two women,
and I, there was a scene, I think the scene you saw was a scene with Bonnie, um...
It's two people sobbing in an alley, is what I saw.
Yeah, and, and, and, and Bobby Carradine discussing whether to have an abortion.
Yeah.
Uh, um, but that's not what it's about.
I guess that's where I got the idea that it wasn't really an up kind of film.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But it is, it's a comedy.
It, it's a comedy, definitely.
And we have, we have a sample for America right here.
Do you know what we're...
In this clip, what, what, um, has happened in this clip is she's just come from
seeing
the gynecologist in the hospital, and has decided to have an abortion, and I,
because
my tubes have been tied, want her to have the baby so that we can both take
care of it.
I essentially take the masculine role.
Yeah.
And this is just after she's come out of the hospital.
Okay.
That's what we'll be seeing, uh, a few minutes, a few seconds from the film
Heartaches with
Margot Kidder.
You know, that's, it's a little, but the rest of the film is more, uh, up.
Very up and very funny.
Yeah.
And people, uh, I read one review, uh, both reviews that I read, uh, say you
did a very
nice job in the film, so you must be very pleased.
Yeah, I, I was, it was a big stretch for me, and I'd never gone out on such a
limb.
And, uh, because the character is so loud and overbearing and sort of obnoxious,
the instinct
for the first two or three weeks of shooting was to constantly jump out of
character and,
and, and turn to the crew and go, this isn't really me.
I'm really a sweet girl.
Yeah, but, uh, I think the image people may have of you, no disrespect, is that
you're kind
of a, uh, you know what I mean?
You know, just a, uh, you know what I mean, ready to go.
Just, here I am.
I don't mean that, you know, but, you know, I don't mean that either.
But just, um,
bigger than life.
Bigger than life.
We'll, we'll be right back.
We'll see if we can't get, uh, Grant Tinker out here again and, uh, straighten
this mess up.
Hey there.
Margot, uh, Margot, uh, Margot Kidder is here and we're, uh, happy that you are
here.
Now, for this, what was the film you were in with Richard Pryor?
Some kind of hero.
Some kind of hero.
Is that the one where you went out into the streets of San Francisco and, uh,
researched the...
I always researched my characters because that's the most fun.
But in that one, uh, it was hookers.
Yeah.
And I, um, I learned how to, I learned a lot of things, but I learned how to
pick up...
I had two motivations for going to hang out with hookers.
One was that we had this long, this is late night, right?
Yeah.
That we had a long, uh, originally a four orgasm sex scene.
And we were both to have four orgasms.
And I...
And, and, and it was cut out of the movie for, for various reasons.
But originally in the, in the script we meet and I bet him that every time we
make love it'll be better.
He says, how can you prove that?
And I said, look, I'll, I'll prove it to you.
So we make love four times.
Now in the script, we both four times.
Well, I thought, I'm damned if I don't make those, those noises four times.
So I said, Richard, you know, I think a hooker wouldn't four times.
I said, you four times.
I'll just once.
I'll come at the end.
So, so, so Richard went, okay.
And then what I, we had decided to go from just the animal sex to showing the
progression through to actual love.
And so I made an acting choice that could have been very foolish, which was
that I decided that when I came, and those noises are so embarrassing to me
with a crew watching, that what I was going to do instead of...
Like, what, what would the, uh...
You know, I...
Well, well, what I, I decided to do instead of making the noises I won't make
was, um, I decided because Richard had, you know, I was vulnerable that I would
cry as someone when women do.
Well, I guess I cried a bit too loudly, and I went to see the rushes, and there
was this horrible sound as though someone had killed a cat.
It was just...
Anyway, I was so nervous about looking like a bad lay in this sex scene that I,
I went to the, I went to...
Hey, if you'd like some fresh brown pepper, uh, this isn't, that's not this out,
this isn't that out of line, is it?
See, no, no, no, but see, this is what I, the point I was trying to make before
the commercial.
You're, you know, kind of, uh...
No, I'm just, this is what happened during the movie.
Okay.
Okay, so now, you, no, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
Anyway, um, so I went to the hookers for advice.
Uh-huh.
And, uh...
Were they nice to you?
They were wonderful women.
I really, I, I expected to meet a lot of, you know, of horrible victims and,
and heroin addicts.
In fact, a lot of them were, um, very well-educated.
One lady had been a film editor for Francis Coffala and couldn't make enough
money and went into hooking.
Um...
Whoops.
Uh...
Whoops.
Um, but, anyway, one of the hookers named Big Red took me to a bar to teach me.
They are, all the hookers have names.
There's one called La-Dee-Daw.
They, and, um, she, she, she dressed me appropriately
and took me to a bar.
And what you do is you get to know the bartender, um, because he puts you in
touch with the Johns.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, so I sat there, and then you make eye contact.
You do this.
And you don't blink with the John until he gets all flustered and nervous.
Now, how much does that cost?
Well, that's free.
Yeah.
Then what happened on this evening was then the gentleman at the end of the bar
who I'd been having eye contact with,
uh, sent a message.
Well, you're actually doing it now.
I was, I did it.
Oh, yeah.
I, I picked someone up, um, sent a message down saying that he'd like to buy me
a drink,
and I said, okay, and then I promptly, I sort of, I got up, and then I got so
nervous,
and then I tripped and fell right flat down on my face.
Anyway, I, I went down and picked him up and then had to get out of it.
Well, how did, how did you get out of it?
Because this guy must have just, but didn't, did he know that you were, uh...
No, I said my name was Lainey.
Lainey.
Instead of Lois.
Uh-huh.
So, I thought it was a clever disguise.
That was clever.
Uh, but he must have had some, uh, I mean...
No, I talk like that, and I said, I said, honey, would you buy me a pack of
cigarettes?
Uh-huh.
And, uh, he said, what do you do?
And I went, I work.
He said, what kind of work?
I said, you know what I mean.
Yeah.
And then I got in terrible trouble, because I didn't know how much I cost.
And, and...
Uh...
I'm going to sound tacky when the show airs.
No, no, this is, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but it, it actually came close
to you, uh...
Yeah, what I had to do in order not to lose the other, um, the girl I'd come
with in the bartender business
was set up an appointment with him the next day and then call and say I couldn't
make it.
Oh, he must have been steamed.
I, wouldn't you guess?
Sure he was, of course.
Well, he, why, that I didn't make it?
Well, all of a sudden, yeah, that the deal's off, I mean, uh...
Well, there's a lot of them around.
Yeah, but I mean, uh, don't you think that, uh, well, I...
That I'm special?
Yeah, don't you, I mean, and I don't mean to denigrate the others who choose
that as a profession,
but don't you think that, uh, you know, you'd be world class right in there?
They taught me everything I knew.
Uh, you, now, you, you're originally a Canadian, still are a Canadian, aren't
you?
Yes.
And, and you, uh, or part of Canada?
Uh, all over.
I was born in a...
What's...
I don't know, I don't know.
I was born in a town called Yellowknife, which is in the Northwest Territories.
So it's nowhere near Thunder Bay, is it?
No, far, much farther north.
Thunder Bay is, is east and, uh...
Are you from Thunder Bay, Paul?
Paul is originally from Thunder Bay.
Are you really?
Yes, I sure am.
Yeah.
Um, no, much farther north than Thunder Bay.
Paul's parents were trappers, I believe, weren't they, Paul?
Something like that, yeah.
And, uh, you, uh...
Uh, now you also, you worked as a, uh, as a, uh, uh, what do you call it, a, uh,
a health
instructor, an exercise woman.
Well, not quite.
Um, when I first left Vancouver at, uh, 17 to go try acting in Toronto,
obviously, as
all actors, I had to get what we call at home, Joe Jobs.
And, and one of...
Joe Jobs?
That's what they're called in Canada.
Didn't you call them that, Paul?
That's right.
Joe Jobs.
Joe Jobs, okay.
Um...
Kind of like something from Postis.
I had one, which was wonderful.
I strapped fat ladies to vibrating machines at a place called Slenderella.
That's great.
Just strapped fat ladies?
I, I wore a little Greek tutu.
And, uh, there were these long tables with a couple of things in the middle,
and you just,
I mean, we're talking fat.
We're talking 250, 300 pounds.
Lie them on the table, and strap them in, and then you go, and now Mrs. Smith,
we're
working on such and such a muscle, and turn the switch on, and like, for, and
then there
was one wonderful contraption, which was rather like going to the gynecologist,
where they
would lie on their back and put their feet up, and you'd turn the switch on,
and their feet
would go around and around like this, and, and then it got closed for fraud.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Nice to see you again.
Thank you very much for being here.
The movie is, is heartaches, and this, of course, is Margot Kidder, and we're
happy that
it is.
We