Name: Tom Snyder's Last Cable Show w/Bob Newhart, Calvert DeForest, Dec. 1, 1994
Uploaded: 2018-07-08T04:52:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Snyder's Last Cable Show w/Bob Newhart, Calvert DeForest, Dec. 1, 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Snyder's Last Cable Show w/Bob Newhart, Calvert DeForest, Dec. 1, 1994' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-08. Transcript available.

Tom Snyder's Last Cable Show w/Bob Newhart, Calvert DeForest, Dec. 1, 1994

This is CNBC.
See the old smoke rising round the bend.
I reckon that she knows she's gonna meet a friend.
Folks around these parts get the time of day.
From the Atchison, Topeka, and the Santa Fe, here she comes.
Howdy, folks. I'm Tom, and welcome back, everybody.
This is the Colourcast Now for Thursday night.
It's the 1st of December.
Christmas month is finally underway here in 1994.
Tonight we welcome my friend and yours, Mr. Bob Newhart,
and one of the most brilliant character actors of our age
and a man who was reborn and one of the great characters
in the history of late-night television.
That would be Larry Bud Melman on Late Night with David Letterman over at NBC.
Mr. Calvert DeForest is with us tonight to wind up the Colourcast here on CNBC.
Speaking of Christmas, you know, I was driving through Beverly Hills today.
I took Mother Snyder to lunch today because I'm gonna be away from the city for
a while.
I'm doing some promotional work for CBS, and my friends, the avalanche is about
to be unleashed here.
I mean, you know, once they gear up this machine, you know, I'm gonna...
You'll be so sick of me by January, you'll throw up, you know.
Anyway, I was thinking today, driving along Santa Monica Boulevard,
they're putting up the Christmas crib and the Star of David.
And what this does, and, you know, this happens in your town, too.
What this does is this triggers the people at the ACLU and other organizations,
which are very well-meaning in terms of protecting our constitutional prerogatives,
and they come forward and they say, you can't put that up because it has
religious connotation.
And, you know, everybody jumps up and down, you know,
you can't have the Star of David, you can't have the Christ child, you can't
have this thing.
And I went through this some years ago on radio with a lot of people who called
in and they said,
you know, what are you thinking?
It really seems to me, let's say for a second here,
that they put up the Christmas display and the Hanukkah display on 3rd Street,
okay?
If it bothers you so much, take 1st Street for a month.
You know, just go around it and don't look at it for crying out loud.
I mean, you know, we have enough in this world that tears us apart from each
other,
and I can see it coming here in Southern California,
and I'm sure it'll happen in your town.
You know, there'll be a big brouhaha over a religious display on the holiday.
Just take a different street.
It's going to be fine.
You know, we're going to get through it just fine.
Anyway, you know, I was thinking about this program,
which is closing tonight after almost two years on CNBC,
and I was just thinking, you know, we've had some good times here, my friends.
We've, you know, re-found each other after an absence of some years.
You know, I worked on radio for a time, and I did the late night for NBC 20
years ago.
And through all the goofiness here of, you know,
sending out the mugs and the train clocks and the train doormats and all that,
we've really become family here together.
And I hope that that will continue here tonight.
As a matter of fact, I've saved a segment at the end of this hour
for just you and me to chat for a bit on the phones.
And I hope it'll carry on when we follow Dave over on CBS starting in January
of this year.
And before I get to the bulk of tonight's program,
you know, I start all of these shows by just bringing you into my life
or injecting myself into your life.
Let me just share with you some thoughts about the people
who've been so good to me here at NBC and CNBC over the years.
And, you know, I thank Roger Ailes, the president of CNBC.
I mean, geez, Roger and I worked on the Mike Douglas show 30 years ago in
Philadelphia.
And then we worked together at NBC 10, 12 years ago on The Tomorrow Show,
and we've worked together here at CNBC, and he's been terrific to me.
But the people that I really have to thank,
and not to in any way denigrate the contributions that Roger Ailes has made
to our efforts here at CNBC,
but I'm talking about the people who stood up long before this show went on the
air.
People like Andy Friendly, who's been my friend for more than 20 years.
Mark Rosenwig, who I can't hear about, you know, we're out of gin, you know.
By the way, get the picture.
Have we got it there?
Get it out here one way.
And Tom Rogers, who's the president of NBC Cable,
these were the people who, from day one, long before this show went on the air,
said, geez, you know, let's get Snyder over here to see NBC.
We think he'd be a great asset.
And, I mean, there were people around here who thought I would not be a great
asset,
and I understand that, just as I said to Geraldo last night.
You know, there are people over at CBS who don't think I'm going to be,
and I understand that, but I always bet on me, not the other guy.
But I thank Andy and Mark and Dave Zasloff and Tom Rogers.
I mean, these guys believed in me long before this show ever went on the air,
and I can't thank them enough for putting me here
and for allowing what is happening to happen.
So thanks, everybody, and for the last time, folks,
you know, I was at this party in New York the last time I was there,
and here was Mark Rosenwig standing at the bar, you know,
and the bartender's looking at Mark.
He's saying, I'm sorry, Mr. Rosenwig.
He says, we're out of gin.
This poor guy, what does he have?
One gin a year or something.
His whole family thinks the guy's a drunk on the streets of New York.
It's terrible what I do to this man.
I will never show it again.
Oh, and then Rosenwig today, he sends me a quart of gin at the house.
A gallon of gin, he says, when I come out there, he says, I don't want to run
short.
I think Mark's got a problem, you know?
So thanks to those guys, and really thanks to all of you.
I mean, the phone conversations we've had here have been terrific,
and I've responded to you as best I know how,
and what I get such a kick out of is, number one,
you guys know more than I do about a lot of stuff,
and number two, you astound me with the range of your ages,
from kids who are teenagers to grandmothers and grandfathers in their 80s,
and I love you all for it,
and I thank you for making this a very pleasurable experience.
God knows I'll run late later on, and I wanted to get it in now.
You know, there's an old song that my friend Peter Allen sang.
He was a terrific stage performer who worked very, very hard,
and he died too soon a couple of years back.
But I remember he did a closing song, it was called Once Before I Go,
which he sang at the end of his nightclub and concert stage acts,
and I've always borrowed his words when I think about the people
who've watched and listened to the work that I've done on radio and television
over the past 40 years in this country.
And, you know, the folks who watch me, the folks who listen,
and the folks who make these programs possible,
you are the light that shines on me.
And you always were, and you'll always be,
and I have to let you know, as Peter Allen said,
just this once before I go.
Thanks for listening, everybody.
It means a great deal to me.
Back with Bob Newhart.
Fire up a color teeny and watch the pictures as they fly through the air.
Thanks for watching, everybody.
And to all the people at Fort Lee who make up those delightful graphics
which they just ran tonight, we'll miss you, Tom.
I appreciate those more than you know,
and I thank you for the samples that you sent me,
and they will hang on the wall in the new office,
and I'll display them with great pride.
Thanks, everybody, in Fort Lee. I appreciate it.
Of course, then they run the Charles Grodin promo right after it.
You know, I mean, you know, the body doesn't even get cold here,
and they're dividing up the clothing.
Anyway, here is the button-down mind of Bob Newhart,
one of our most popular and successful television actors and comedians.
And how good of you to come over here tonight,
on this night of all nights, to share your talent with our crowd here.
I really appreciate that.
Well, first of all, what an honor it is to be asked to be here on your final
night.
I mean, how could I?
I mean, it's like falling out of bed.
It's just cold water, and then cold water to Riverside,
and Riverside to Olive, and about an hour and a half.
You know, I was thinking about it.
Let me tell you a story.
Yeah, okay.
Apropos of tonight, I was in New York.
I was doing the David Letterman show,
and I'm staying at the Riga Royal,
which is where they put all their people up.
Oh, the trade-out hotel.
Yeah.
And I get on the elevator, and it's Helen Hunt.
And I know it's Helen Hunt, but I don't like to bother her.
So she said, we talk about your show a lot on our show.
And I said, you're Helen Hunt, right?
She said, yes.
So I said, I have to get off.
So I got off the elevator on her floor,
and I said, it is just wonderful to watch somebody
who knows what the hell they're doing.
And you and Paul and the writers know what the hell you're doing.
And it's just wonderful to watch you
because you know what the hell you're doing.
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks.
It's that simple.
Thanks.
Thanks, kid.
Let me ask you here about Bob Newhart
when you were starting out in Chicago.
I was thinking today, Elaine Boozer was here last night,
and she's very funny, but she's a product of the comedy clubs,
you know, which gained great popularity in the 70s.
When you were starting out in Chicago,
there weren't the comedy clubs
and the chain of clubs across the country
that you could travel as a circuit and hone your craft.
How did the guys in your generation and the gals,
how did they get going?
Where did you go to practice and get good?
You didn't.
I mean, you made your mistakes out there.
There was no place to make mistakes.
It was...
No.
There was a Hungry Eye in San Francisco.
There was the Crescendo here.
There was Mr. Kelly's.
There was like the Roubon Blue.
There was a Crystal Palace, and that was about it.
Yeah, like would the Shaperie in Chicago have been a place...
That would have been...
The Shaperie...
It was funny.
There became a division in comedy about that time,
which was totally unintended.
Shelley Berman, Michael Lane, myself, Johnny Winters, Lenny Bruce.
We all started doing a kind of a different kind of comedy.
The Shaperie was, take my wife, please.
I'll get the half that eats, burn a hole in the coat.
I mean, all these...
That anybody could steal.
Dick Martin and I, as you know, we'd play golf and we'd just do punchlines.
I'll take the half that eats.
I'll get the half that eats and burn a hole in the coat, you know.
Why is one missing?
You know, there's an old joke where they just do the punchlines.
I know.
I know.
But it's...
So, they couldn't steal our material.
But, I mean, that wasn't designed.
I didn't go out and say, I'm going to do something that nobody can steal.
But, I mean, a guy could go in and see Alan King, take my wife, please, and do
that joke
in the next town, and it's his joke, you know.
So, this kind of...
The shapery was that kind of place, and Mr. Kelly's was Mike and Lane and
Shelley and
myself and Johnny Winterson and Shecky Green and that kind of thing.
And you couldn't steal it.
You couldn't take somebody's out.
And when you were coming up, who was funny to you?
Were there the fellas that you just mentioned here, Shecky Green?
I hadn't even seen Shecky at that point.
Jack Benny was...
Was funny, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He was the bravest comedian that I have ever seen work.
He was the nicest man in the world, and he was brave because he wasn't afraid
of silence.
He would tell the story as long as...
Dick Martin told me a story.
He went to see Jack at the Sahara in Vegas, and Sammy Davis with the Will Maston
Trio.
That's how long ago it was, before Sammy went on on his own.
So Sammy comes out in the Will Maston Trio, and they absolutely destroy the
audience.
And now they say, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jack Benny.
Jack comes out and he said, I ran into an actor named Reginald Fields.
I'd 