Name: Viewer Mail with The Capers on Letterman, November 17, 1989
Uploaded: 2018-07-15T03:01:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail with The Capers on Letterman, November 17, 1989' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Viewer Mail with The Capers on Letterman, November 17, 1989' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-15. Transcript available.

Good night. Thank you very much.
Good night, everybody. Thanks for being here.
Bye-bye.
I'm sorry.
We've just started the show.
The audience is so sweet.
They actually waved goodbye to me.
Wait a minute.
Maybe they thought they were getting out earlier.
Oh, we've got a big show here.
It's time for viewer mail.
Paul, play the viewer mail.
Thank you very much.
Letter number one.
Dear Dave, I was recently a member of your studio audience on September 8th,
1989,
while Shelley Winters was a guest,
and I, being bored, happened to glance over at Bill Wendell puffing on a big
fat cigar
right under a no-smoking sign, the one by the studio exit door.
Sincerely, your pal Doug Lombardo, Yonkers, New York.
Well, this is a great letter, Doug, but if you'd been just a little more observant,
I think you would have noticed that there was an even more flagrant rules
violation that
particular night.
Hal, get a shot of that door over there.
I'll show you what I'm talking about.
See, right there.
There's the no-smoking sign.
Now, just tilt down a little bit, Hal, and show them the other warning sign.
There we go.
See?
Look.
There.
That's it.
The very dictionary definition of a smattering of applause.
That would be it.
Hey there.
That's it.
Number two.
Dear Dave, did anyone in your band...
The very dictionary definition of annoying.
Oh.
Dear Dave, did anyone in your band hold a real job before you saved their butts
from a life
of flipping burgers and gave them this gig?
Your most devoted fan, Kyle Sandra Jensen, Jessen, rather.
Kyle Sandra Jessen, Loveland, Colorado.
This is an interesting question.
Paul, did you ever...
You had a job before this one, right or not?
Yeah.
Yeah, I had a job, and it was a good job.
Really?
You know, I kind of resent the implication of the letter that somehow you saved
me from
an unrewarding career or something.
Right, well, what were you doing exactly?
What was I doing?
Yeah.
Well, a few years ago, of course, I held down a particular job, which I, at the
time, was
very...
So, you could tell I was not exactly sitting by the telephone waiting for your
call.
Yeah, I see.
As you can see, I was gainfully employed.
Good gig.
Yeah, thank you.
I resent that letter.
Letter number three.
Dear Dave, what the hell are capers?
James Zareen, Houston, Texas.
This is funny.
Jim, I assume you're referring to the family that lives right here under our
studio audience.
Hal, can we go in and pay a visit on the capers tonight?
We'll see if they're even home.
I don't know.
I haven't heard from them all week.
They live back there under the seats.
It's a lovely family, actually.
And, oh, there they are.
Hi!
Excuse me, Mr. Capers.
Hi.
Nice to see you.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner, sir.
Oh, that's quite all right, David.
You know, there's something I wanted to mention.
Sure.
You know, Scott here has flunked sixth grade three times.
Right.
And even he could have written funnier jokes than the one you did.
Oh, well.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate the criticism, Mr. Caper.
And your warm-ups suck, too.
You could add lib gas after a bean dinner.
Oh, well.
Now, Christy, that's quite enough.
David, would you like to join us for dinner?
We've got plenty of cream corn.
Well, geez, that's very thoughtful of you, Mrs. Caper.
Thank you very much for the invitation.
Well, I was just kidding, jerk.
I wouldn't feed you if your life depended on us.
It's the Caper family right there under the nice visiting with the Capers.
I have in my hand the last letter.
Dodge City.
Dodge City.
Dodge City.
Any answer?
Here we go.
Letter number four.
Dear Dave, I have fallen way behind in watching my tapes of Late Night.
Can you suggest any episodes I could omit in order to catch up?
Thanks, Steve Proctor, Salisbury, North Carolina.
You know, Steve, if I do say so myself, most of the shows here lately have been
pretty good.
There were, however, three interviews that we thought were a little below our
usual standard.
On September 21st, I was really absorbed in a mystery novel and maybe didn't
pay enough attention to our guest that night, Yoko Ono.
Then on October 4th, we had the actor James Spader on, and, geez, I was
exhausted that day.
And then last Tuesday on the 7th, I got tied up in traffic and never really
made it to the show at all.
But, uh, I told things went pretty well, so you can skip those.
There it is.
That's a viewer mail.
All right.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.