Name: John Matuszak on Letterman, October 12, 1982
Uploaded: 2018-07-28T00:10:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John Matuszak on Letterman, October 12, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'John Matuszak on Letterman, October 12, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-28. Transcript available.

welcome back to the show my next guest is a defensive end excuse me while i
swallow there
for the los angeles raiders and was one of the most important factors in making
the raiders the
1981 super bowl champions that was a year ago of course he is also a movie
actor and is finishing
work on his latest film petaluma pride welcome please john matusak
thank you very much for being here let me uh first of all ask you about the
movie petaluma
good heavens see this this seat is still kind of warm
was that abigail that was abigail she probably yeah uh does that that do odd
things to you uh
that's tough yeah that's a tough act to follow yeah um petaluma pride what is
it uh sounds
sounds like a butter it's uh that's just a joke by the way i think we all
understand that don't we
it's a movie yes about wrist wrestling yes yeah and uh you play hannah barbara
put it out and i only
had about a day or two work on it but uh they handled me with uh my first uh
first class and a lot of
pride yeah the way they did the whole thing did have you seen any of the movie
oh no yeah it looked
like a pretty good deal when you were in it well i don't know because i was
only there a day or two
yeah it's hard to tell yeah but i do like that uh i do like that acting thing
yeah it's just and no
it's just fun being in front of people and and being yourself and we're all
capable of being about uh
a hundred different personalities it's just which it's just which time you want
to bring it out
uh you worked with ringo star and was it caveman yeah what was that was that
fun a lot of a lot of
heavy dialogue in that really tanda lunda uh yeah but it was fun it really was
what was that like to
work with uh the legendary beetle ringo star oh he is just the greatest he's
just very down to earth
and uh a hard-working person yeah and you have to have somebody that's going to
really work hard
and be uh honest with you when you're doing a project like that because it's
very important to
a lot of people speaking of projects uh normally this time you'd be making your
living playing football
what is the the status of the uh the strike uh the strike is really kind of in
the hands of uh the
owners and at the same time we have some people that are that are representing
the players association
and uh they're trying to use some of the issues for a political platform and
that's really not fair
to a lot of us because we want to be working we don't like being on strike and
i personally don't
think it's fair for the for the average fan or the common man just i like
watching football too i was
brought up but we do have there are some points that have to be made and the
fact is that it's just
such a uh a highly volatile business that uh you walk around a lot of times
with uh with a limp or
the rest of your life or can't lift your shoulder up and your average career
length is like only four
years and uh when you really take a look at the at the issues you realize that
the man's really not
getting his fair share because it really is a tough business let me ask you two
questions about the
strike and we'll go on to other things you you mentioned now that the uh was it
the the union
leaders were using this for uh their own political means is that what you said
no i'm saying one or two
they may be doing one of the two of the people on your side or one of the two
people on the owner's
well there's good guys on both sides there's uh some owners that uh like mine
mr l davis of the
oakland per se la raiders gotta be careful i don't know yet it's in congress
yeah they could be just
vacationing but l is very honest well i recommend it to uh mr eliotta who
represented us i said i think
the best thing to do would be to play all our home games in oakland all the way
games in la
he didn't know that i said come here a second i want to talk to you i want to
remind you that
yeah los angeles doesn't have a team either and they are it's the entertainment
capital of the
world right next to new york that's and you've got to be careful yeah but again
now and i don't
want to beat this to death but you think that somebody on your side is looking
at at this as a
springboard to a career well one or two people will always be that way like who
who are they
i mean let's name names no is it is it is it the names that we keep hearing in
the news or is it
is it other people i'd say there are some i don't i don't think it's fair to
okay yeah just to do that
to anyone no but you just mentioned it's like kissing and telling no you don't
no no you don't want to
be doing that no as soon as a woman gets a hold of the fact that you've been uh
telling your other
friends that you might have been going out with her you'll never have a date
again yeah so i think it's
wise not to say anything oh that's right that's right um geez it means
something when this gentleman
tells you you may never have another date again it has some added significance
those words are just
um okay now the other thing about the strike what is it is it that the players
just want
sixty percent of the revenue or 55 is that the deal is that the key issue is
that the whole deal is
that uh ten years ago we're getting 57 of the gross revenue and today and we
know how tough times are
economically speaking we're getting 27 of the gross revenue but like i said
before we also have like
only four years to make that money and uncle sam takes a great deal of it like
he should because a lot
of people you know the wealth should be distributed in other words to make a
long story short
and uh views uh good or bad put those aside how much longer is the nfl going to
be on hiatus
i don't like it for one second but i have a feeling that uh the owners will do
everything they can
and like i said there are some very good owners like al davis because he really
does care about his
players if al was in charge of this thing it would be over right away because
he knows he's a street
fighter isn't he he is he's a rebel with a cause now now as soon as you say
anything good about al davis
the the the season ticket holders in oakland just start to fume uh you can't
blame them we'll talk
about that and some maybe some pleasant things hopefully of course we have
plenty of pleasantries to
exchange we'll be right back
don matuzak the uh los angeles raiders is here uh just your your feelings about
uh moving the team
from oakland to los angeles has been hashed over and over again but what do you
think about that well it
has but at the same time it's uh it's very hard to do because the oakland
people are just tremendous
they really gave us a lot of uh support from being a uh an athlete i can't use
that in the wrong way
yeah but they really did give us a lot of support uh it's it was just a it was
purely a business move
wasn't it i mean as unfair as that sounds it wasn't it wasn't unfair as much as
it's meant to be because
it had to be done al davis had to do it he saw it was happening and uh uh from
what i heard and it's
just only the inside right what i had heard about was that he was he was just
lied to they promised him
they'd fix up the stadium the winningest team of all times 20 years he's down
there
and he asked for some readjustments he wants the stadium fixed up and he says
sure we'll give
you the we'll give you the loan what do you whatever you need and then they uh
they reneged on it
um and that just made him mad still in all the people who seem to really be
paying the price are
the poor folks who sold out game after game up there in the coliseum okay let's
talk about
some other things now when you went to work for al davis is it true that they
said to you
uh john you can come up and play ball with us but you got to get rid of your
girlfriend
she was kind of hard on me no question about it now what what was it about her
behavior that they
didn't want well it's just a little it's just dangerous to your health when
somebody tries
running you over in their car and the girl was jealous and i can't blame her
she actually she actually tried to run you down with a car yes once or twice
once or twice
uh and this this ties right into this next thing i know you the wednesday night
has uh as you say has
been your night out and this has gotten you into some trouble hasn't it
occasionally it's happened uh
at the super bowl uh and we didn't even talk about this before he came out
there so he's doing a good
job uh no you're prepared you are thank you thank you and i was
no he went down to uh new orleans to play philadelphia and uh in the super bowl
and it was
wednesday night and it's a traditional night out because you have such a
violent tough practice on
wednesday which is our defensive day i mean it's people ripping their shirts
off other people and
throwing them down and punching and it's kind of against my nature it is yeah
but somebody's got to do
it that's right
so uh i had to go release a little bit of tension uh so i went out and i had uh
being down new orleans i had
promised a couple people some tickets uh the sol and chris owens who owned the
809 club in bourbon
and st louis had taken care of me when i had absolutely no money and i was
going to college
university of tampa you take a little ride up there about 400 miles and you're
right at mardi gras
and they just put me up and they didn't expect anything in return and that's a
friend so i promised
them a couple tickets so you got you were out after curfew you got fined and uh
so on and so
but that's uh uh you won anyway well that was the best thing about it was that
i didn't say anything
to the press they just came up to me the next day after i woke up and i looked
around me and
i said oh my god i'm late i better get there
and they just said well don't say anything at all to the press yeah just say
you made a mistake
you're fined a thousand dollars and too bad yeah and so i got to thinking about
it as long as i'm
paying a thousand dollars i really should say what what was on my mind so i
said the only reason i was
out on the streets was to make sure none of the other guys were out you did it
for the team
that's right what an unselfish attitude so what made this country great ladies
and gentlemen that kind
of uh now let me ask you uh you got a girlfriend a girlfriend you probably don't
see much of her
anymore since she got the pinto out and chased you up and down the street uh
and and i know and then and
this may be a sore spot you were stopped once uh allegedly for drinking and
driving and also possession of a
firearm um and a machete we'll be right back um and i know you've been in you've
been in some fights so
um now i got to assume a lot of this is blown out of proportion but really for
you what is a good time now
you know when when you go out what do you think to yourself tonight you know
what i'm saying what do
you like to do what question do you want me to answer first um well i got i'm
with you yeah i guess a lot
of this is bad yes uh some anyway i do like to have a good time and i've been
known to do that occasionally
but uh as ben davidson once said it was a great defensive end for the raiders
he says i don't i don't
care what they're writing about you as long as they're writing and the press
always has the last word so
there's no way you can argue with them but what constitutes a good time with me
would be
two or three nice ladies hey now you mean over the course of a year year and a
half
like like those letters abby had out here i'm talking about a hero sandwich a
hero sandwich
now i read something about you and kenny stabler in a hot tub that was for you
snake
uh you and kenny stabler have been known to have uh hot tub parties right can
we rephrase that
question well you and kenny stabler and your female friends right okay all
right thank you
you don't want anybody to get the wrong idea no no no no no uh no snake is a
true gentleman and uh
he really does he is it would be uh an analogy would be to walk into a
a thumbnail factory with the biggest magnet around yeah and they just they
attract themselves to him
yeah he's that unbelievable but he's very much of a gentleman yeah and we've
had one or two parties
let me also before we leave here i i don't want to leave with the impression
that you are uh just out
of control while i mean this you've had some some things that have happened but
that's all in the past
isn't it i mean you're making an attempt to to stay out of trouble is that fair
trying yeah very hard
yeah well continued success good luck thanks uh with the strike i know uh
everybody including myself
would like to see this over uh john matuzak and i will be right back ladies and
gentlemen
thank you very much uh tomorrow night artist edward ruchet will be here along
with howard
cosell i want to thank abigail van vuren for being here and also mr john matuzak
john you wanted to
say something yes hi mom there you go we'll see you tomorrow night thank you
folks

John Matuszak on Letterman, October 12, 1982

welcome back to the show my next guest is a defensive end excuse me while i
swallow there
for the los angeles raiders and was one of the most important factors in making
the raiders the
1981 super bowl champions that was a year ago of course he is also a movie
actor and is finishing
work on his latest film petaluma pride welcome please john matusak
thank you very much for being here let me uh first of all ask you about the
movie petaluma
good heavens see this this seat is still kind of warm
was that abigail that was abigail she probably yeah uh does that that do odd
things to you uh
that's tough yeah that's a tough act to follow yeah um petaluma pride what is
it uh sounds
sounds like a butter it's uh that's just a joke by the way i think we all
understand that don't we
it's a movie yes about wrist wrestling yes yeah and uh you play hannah barbara
put it out and i only
had about a day or two work on it but uh they handled me with uh my first uh
first class and a lot of
pride yeah the way they did the whole thing did have you seen any of the movie
oh no yeah it looked
like a pretty good deal when you were in it well i don't know because i was
only there a day or two
yeah it's hard to tell yeah but i do like that uh i do like that acting thing
yeah it's just and no
it's just fun being in front of people and and being yourself and we're all
capable of being about uh
a hundred different personalities it's just which it's just which time you want
to bring it out
uh you worked with ringo star and was it caveman yeah what was that was that
fun a lot of a lot of
heavy dialogue in that really tanda lunda uh yeah but it was fun it really was
what was that like to
work with uh the legendary beetle ringo star oh he is just the greatest he's
just very down to earth
and uh a hard-working person yeah and you have to have somebody that's going to
really work hard
and be uh honest with you when you're doing a project like that because it's
very important to
a lot of people speaking of projects uh normally this time you'd be making your
living playing football
what is the the status of the uh the strike uh the strike is really kind of in
the hands of uh the
owners and at the same time we have some people that are that are representing
the players association
and uh they're trying to use some of the issues for a political platform and
that's really not fair
to a lot of us because we want to be working we don't like being on strike and
i personally don't
think it's fair for the for the average fan or the common man just i like
watching football too i was
brought up but we do have there are some points that have to be made and the
fact is that it's just
such a uh a highly volatile business that uh you walk around a lot of times
with uh with a limp or
the rest of your life or can't lift your shoulder up and your average career
length is like only four
years and uh when you really take a look at the at the issues you realize that
the man's really not
getting his fair share because it really is a tough business let me ask you two
questions about the
strike and we'll go on to other things you you mentioned now that the uh was it
the the union
leaders were using this for uh their own political means is that what you said
no i'm saying one or two
they may be doing one of the two of the people on your side or one of the two
people on the owner's
well there's good guys on both sides there's uh some owners that uh like mine
mr l davis of the
oakland per se la raiders gotta be careful i don't know yet it's in congress
yeah they could be just
vacationing but l is very honest well i recommend it to uh mr eliotta who
represented us i said i think
the best thing to do would be to play all our home games in oakland all the way
games in la
he didn't know that i said come here a second i want to talk to you i want to
remind you that
yeah los angeles doesn't have a team either and they are it's the entertainment
capital of the
world right next to new york that's and you've got to be careful yeah but again
now and i don't
want to beat this to death but you think that somebody on your side is looking
at at this as a
springboard to a career well one or two people will always be that way like who
who are they
i mean let's name names no is it is it is it the names that we keep hearing in
the news or is it
is it other people i'd say there are some i don't i don't think it's fair to
okay yeah just to do that
to anyone no but you just mentioned it's like kissing and telling no you don't
no no you don't want to
be doing that no as soon as a woman gets a hold of the fact that you've been uh
telling your other
friends that you might have been going out with her you'll never have a date
again yeah so i think it's
wise not to say anything oh that's right that's right um geez it means
something when this gentleman
tells you you may never have another date again it has some added significance
those words are just
um okay now the other thing about the strike what is it is it that the players
just want
sixty percent of the revenue or 55 is that the deal is that the key issue is
that the whole deal is
that uh ten years ago we're getting 57 of the gross revenue and today and we
know how tough times are
economically speaking we're getting 27 of the gross revenue but like i said
before we also have like
only four years to make that money and uncle sam takes a great deal of it like
he should because a lot
of people you know the wealth should be distributed in other words to make a
long story short
and uh views uh good or bad put those aside how much longer is the nfl going to
be on hiatus
i don't like it for one second but i have a feeling that uh the owners will do
everything they can
and like i said there are some very good owners like al davis because he really
does care about his
players if al was in charge of this thing it would be over right away because
he knows he's a street
fighter isn't he he is he's a rebel with a cause now now as soon as you say
anything good about al davis
the the the season ticket holders in oakland just start to fume uh you can't
blame them we'll talk
about that and some maybe some pleasant things hopefully of course we have
plenty of pleasantries to
exchange we'll be right back
don matuzak the uh los angeles raiders is here uh just your your feelings about
uh moving the team
from oakland to los angeles has been hashed over and over again but what do you
think about that well it
has but at the same time it's uh it's very hard to do because the oakland
people are just tremendous
they really gave us a lot of uh support from being a uh an athlete i can't use
that in the wrong way
yeah but they really did give us a lot of support uh it's it was just a it was
purely a business move
wasn't it i mean as unfair as that sounds it wasn't it wasn't unfair as much as
it's meant to be because
it had to be done al davis had to do it he saw it was happening and uh uh from
what i heard and it's
just only the inside right what i had heard about was that he was he was just
lied to they promised him
they'd fix up the stadium the winningest team of all times 20 years he's down
there
and he asked for some readjustments he wants the stadium fixed up and he says
sure we'll give
you the we'll give you the loan what do you whatever you need and then they uh
they reneged on it
um and that just made him mad still in all the people who seem to really be
paying the price are
the poor folks who sold out game after game up there in the coliseum okay let's
talk about
some other things now when you went to work for al davis is it true that they
said to you
uh john you can come up and play ball with us but you got to get rid of your
girlfriend
she was kind of hard on me no question about it now what what was it about her
behavior that they
didn't want well it's just a little it's just dangerous to your health when
somebody tries
running you over in their car and the girl was jealous and i can't blame her
she actually she actually tried to run you down with a car yes once or twice
once or twice
uh and this this ties right into this next thing i know you the wednesday night
has uh as you say has
been your night out and this has gotten you into some trouble hasn't it
occasionally it's happened uh
at the super bowl uh and we didn't even talk about this before he came out
there so he's doing a good
job uh no you're prepared you are thank you thank you and i was
no he went down to uh new orleans to play philadelphia and uh in the super bowl
and it was
wednesday night and it's a traditional night out because you have such a
violent tough practice on
wednesday which is our defensive day i mean it's people ripping their shirts
off other people and
throwing them down and punching and it's kind of against my nature it is yeah
but somebody's got to do
it that's right
so uh i had to go release a little bit of tension uh so i went out and i had uh
being down new orleans i had
promised a couple people some tickets uh the sol and chris owens who owned the
809 club in bourbon
and st louis had taken care of me when i had absolutely no money and i was
going to college
university of tampa you take a little ride up there about 400 miles and you're
right at mardi gras
and they just put me up and they didn't expect anything in return and that's a
friend so i promised
them a couple tickets so you got you were out after curfew you got fined and uh
so on and so
but that's uh uh you won anyway well that was the best thing about it was that
i didn't say anything
to the press they just came up to me the next day after i woke up and i looked
around me and
i said oh my god i'm late i better get there
and they just said well don't say anything at all to the press yeah just say
you made a mistake
you're fined a thousand dollars and too bad yeah and so i got to thinking about
it as long as i'm
paying a thousand dollars i really should say what what was on my mind so i
said the only reason i was
out on the streets was to make sure none of the other guys were out you did it
for the team
that's right what an unselfish attitude so what made this country great ladies
and gentlemen that kind
of uh now let me ask you uh you got a girlfriend a girlfriend you probably don't
see much of her
anymore since she got the pinto out and chased you up and down the street uh
and and i know and then and
this may be a sore spot you were stopped once uh allegedly for drinking and
driving and also possession of a
firearm um and a machete we'll be right back um and i know you've been in you've
been in some fights so
um now i got to assume a lot of this is blown out of proportion but really for
you what is a good time now
you know when when you go out what do you think to yourself tonight you know
what i'm saying what do
you like to do what question do you want me to answer first um well i got i'm
with you yeah i guess a lot
of this is bad yes uh some anyway i do like to have a good time and i've been
known to do that occasionally
but uh as ben davidson once said it was a great defensive end for the raiders
he says i don't i don't
care what they're writing about you as long as they're writing and the press
always has the last word so
there's no way you can argue with them but what constitutes a good time with me
would be
two or three nice ladies hey now you mean over the course of a year year and a
half
like like those letters abby had out here i'm talking about a hero sandwich a
hero sandwich
now i read something about you and kenny stabler in a hot tub that was for you
snake
uh you and kenny stabler have been known to have uh hot tub parties right can
we rephrase that
question well you and kenny stabler and your female friends right okay all
right thank you
you don't want anybody to get the wrong idea no no no no no uh no snake is a
true gentleman and uh
he really does he is it would be uh an analogy would be to walk into a
a thumbnail factory with the biggest magnet around yeah and they 