Name: Father Tom Smith on Letterman, April 21, 1982
Uploaded: 2018-07-31T22:58:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Father Tom Smith on Letterman, April 21, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Father Tom Smith on Letterman, April 21, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-31. Transcript available.

Thank you very much, Mr. Paul Schaefer. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a fine
show for you
assembled here tonight. My first guest, of course, you're going to meet right
now, also
dating do's and don'ts with Frank and Fred, and boy, do we need them now. Also,
sports
producer and historian of the Olympics, Bud Greenspan is joining us, and
comedian Tom
Dreesen. My first guest, interesting fellow, this man. Father Tom Smith is
known as a
Catholic priest in McKeesport, Pennsylvania, and I would guess anywhere else he
goes he's
known that way, too. Believe it or not, Father Smith is also a very popular
nightclub performer,
working in clubs and dinner theaters throughout the country. Father Smith sings,
dances, tells
jokes, and spreads the word of the Lord in the best way he knows how. Please
welcome Father
Tom Smith.
That's, uh, I guess we ought to establish a couple of things. You're actually a
Catholic
priest, right?
I'm a Roman Catholic priest, bona fide.
Uh-huh. And, uh, what you do in the way of, in dinner theaters and so forth, do
you also
do that in church, or is this these two separate things? No. No, you have to
follow the strict
liturgical services, otherwise you're excommunicators, and I'm not about to do
that. So the church
says it's okay for you to, at night, be a nightclub performer, but on Sundays
and whenever your
church functions call, you've got to be there and go to work. Right. No goofing
around.
first thing is the church priority and has this been cleared by the church that
i mean the vatican
do they know about you we have a with a great bishop the vatican yeah no no the
vatican never
finds out about a simple priest you know very rarely we have a very fatherly
bishop he's a good
man uh... i i don't admit that this is his cup of tea because uh... he looks
upon me as an
entertainer and i say no i am a theatrical evangelist right now uh in in church
you don't
sing you don't dance you don't tell jokes maybe you do tell jokes i don't know
i have a little
funny in a pulpit once in a while yeah uh but but in the dinner theaters you
don't preach do you or
do you well i'll tell you people have said about the act it's about two hours
long there's a little
intermission they said two hours yeah one man show and they say that uh it's
the most subtle
sermon they've ever heard and they think it's a real con job and it is so um
and you're making
dough with this oh yeah yeah a lot of money uh no yeah uh which if somebody
came in here tonight and
said how would you like to do a week at the flamingo in las vegas would you
would you take it i'd say yes
really uh but but you know there's gambling and drinking and uh all sorts of as
long as the feathers
weren't around and what goes with it or what isn't with it uh i'm not sure and
i know what that means
oh you mean strippers uh yeah oh you don't work with uh no no uh now why when
how did you begin this
any of those you can answer take your pick uh well i i was on broadway when i
was a kid i started in
show business i was nine years old and i left pitcare and pa where i was born i
came on the zee the
broadway stage when i was uh 17. i did the roxy theater radio city the ziegfeld
follies with milton burl
billy rose's diamond horseshoe and i was here about four years and i had always
wanted to be a priest but
the two the two the two vocations i can understand a young man wanting to
either be an uh a performer
or a priest but at an early age to have both those desires how did that come
about well i wasn't always
a catholic you know i used to be normal no i've i became a convert when i was
about 13. at that particular
time i had a very wonderful pastor who introduced me to retreats at a monastery
and i loved that place
there was a lot of love a lot of community a lot of acceptance affirmation and
i always remembered
that so i got here to new york and you know when you're in a broadway show and
the show breaks up
you lose family there you are like where do i go then you have to create
another family and i'm a
people guy i i like i like community because i think that's where you find god
in people
so uh the value system didn't appeal to me i i have no quarrel with it but it
wasn't for me so i migrated
where i received that so in your own mind it doesn't sound that strange does it
to go from one field to
another field but now you're back into this other field now let me ask you
about this this is not
standard uh this is uh this is like something tom jones might wear you know tom
smith tom jones okay
now we're gonna hear you're gonna sing for us a little later uh sure okay great
we're gonna pause
for a commercial and we're going to hose down the crowd we'll be right back
with father
thank you very much for here with uh gentlemen who is uh not only a priest but
also a nightclub
performer uh song and dance man you call yourself dinner theater concerts
dinner theater concerts uh
just explain this if you will that's a leftover from a liberace garage cell and
this is now this this
uh would have been a uh clerical collar is that correct uh during the act you
have to have a variety
of things so i do that as a little throwaway i i leave stage and then i come
back with that on
and people howl and scream and i take it off right away but it's not part of
the act yeah now you you uh
what kind of music do you sing we're going to hear an example of it uh i do up
tempo stuff broadway stuff
and it's almost all special material you have a band that backs you up yes i
have two of them here
tonight so and uh do you have an agent yes uh and in pittsburgh i work for macaulay
agency uh uh groupies
that's a dumb question isn't it now uh do you ever foresee a day where this
desire and you would uh
overcome your call to the priesthood no no i love the church yeah i love the
church and these these are
just avenues of outreach where you like there are 80 million unchurched people
in america 80 million
unchurched people in america and there are 49 million catholics and almost for
everyone sitting in the pew
there's one out there and so the vatican ii called for new avenues of evangelization
and priests now are
not just sitting in a stereotyped image in a rectory but they now are all
touching uh radaring in on their
gifts and going out uh outreach programs to bring the people back to a people
yeah now but do you know
of any other priests doing this uh i was on the phil donahue show that's not a
dirty word here is it no
phil donahue show oh no heaven that's nbc isn't it well no not exactly it's a
syndicated it's a syndicated
show but no it's a fine program i was on with a methodist minister who had a
dummy on a it was a
ventriloquist oh but he he thought it was another slur at phil there for a
minute and there was a
magician on there who was a methodist minister also uh so other clergymen are
doing this but you as far
as you know are the only song and singing and dancing priest i think so yeah
okay uh i'll tell
you what uh father if you want to go over there and do what you do before you
do it uh we'll go away
and we'll come back and we'll watch you do it uh we're going to pause we'll be
right back to hear
thank you so much welcome back to the festivities and now it's my extreme
pleasure
to introduce to you folks father tom smith singing newfangled preacher man
ain't gonna promise no pie in the sky no fantasy island no love boat to try i've
got a different
message to spread how about some glory days before we are dead now the lord
lives up in heaven and
the devil's down in hell and you and me we're gonna live the best we can hey
move over billy sunday and
youtube willy graham make way for a newfangled preacher man make way for a newfangled
preacher man
ain't gonna tell you the lord he loves you best and he's gonna prove it when
you are late to rest
i've got a different trumpet to play how about some love and wanna take us away
now the lord is up in heaven and
the devil's down in hell and you and me we're gonna live the best we can hey
move over billy sunday and
you too billy graham make way for a newfangled preacher man move over oral roberts
i can be oral too
move over mr graham i'm a bigger ham than you and even though i love you and
though you may be keen i'm even gonna
i'm gonna tell you to god forbid move over fulton sheen god's little children
love's a preacher preacher
oh my god's little children love's a preacher my god's little children love's a
preacher
preacher make way make way make way for a newfangled preacher
oh
oh
tom smith will be opening for ac dc in a couple of months uh coming up in the
next half hour
the do's and don'ts with frank and fred oh i'm looking forward to that also a
fascinating
gentleman sports producer bud greenspan comedian tom dreeson but ladies and
gentlemen at long last
a brief pause for intermission
it's delicious food you eat them every day oh we ride in the rodeo
broken stairs and cut the drums and we haven't had a fight two weeks and dawn
we are hungry and we're dragging but here comes the old young wagon with the fiddles
that belong for
bring her on now i'm the u.s marshal the soft drinks i am partial and if
popcorn's good my gosh i say it's
you like em lick em ice cream and this ice cream's very nice pretty you buy em
and you drive and you see
now it's time for intermission so let's all hit the trail and gather round the
sweet bar where these goodies are on sale
you