Name: "World's Largest Vase" Collection on Letterman, Spring 1983 + May 1984
Uploaded: 2018-08-09T21:57:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"World's Largest Vase" Collection on Letterman, Spring 1983 + May 1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-08-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"World's Largest Vase" Collection on Letterman, Spring 1983 + May 1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-08-09. Transcript available.

"World's Largest Vase" Collection on Letterman, Spring 1983 + May 1984

Thank you very much, that's Paul Schaefer.
You know, ladies and gentlemen, since the beginning of time,
man has been constructing and erecting monuments to powers greater than himself.
Many of these structures have certainly withstood the test of time.
Let's take a look at now a few of the more famous of those.
Of course, the pyramids, and this would be Stonehenge, somewhere in New Jersey.
This next one is the Parthenon, of course.
And last but not least, the world's largest vase.
Now, of all of these world-famous landmarks,
perhaps the least is known about the world's largest vase.
We here have plenty of free time, and as a result, done some research into the
world's largest vase.
And let me read you what we know about it so far.
According to this photograph, a six-year-old girl admires the world's largest
vase.
It was constructed in 1897 for an exhibit at the St. Louis Exposition.
It has been valued at $10,000, now on exhibit at the Pottery Queen, two miles
east of Zanesville, Ohio.
And apparently, visitors are welcome if you'd like to go see the world's
largest vase.
Well, we did some phoning.
You have to understand, we here at Late Night have been, I don't want to say
obsessed, but that's the word.
We have been obsessed with finding out about the world's largest vase.
And we have the name of a woman in Zanesville, Ohio, who perhaps can shed some
more light into the world's largest vase for us.
And we're going to call her right now and see if we can't piece this together.
I've been so nervous about this all day.
We don't even know if it's still in existence, ladies and gentlemen.
We just know that we want more.
That's a stupid way to make a living.
Well, stop doing that.
Hello.
We're calling Betty Ward in Zanesville, Ohio.
And in just a few minutes, have I done something wrong with the phone?
Let me try this.
Okay.
Okay, we got heavy traffic this morning on the Whitestone Bridge.
Yes.
Hello.
Hello, is Betty Ward there, please?
Yes, this is Betty Ward.
Betty, how are you?
My name is David Letterman.
I'm calling from New York City.
Well, hello.
What is your weather like there, Betty?
It's a beautiful day.
Beautiful day.
Now, Betty, you know why we're calling.
We have reason to believe that you can shed some light on the topic of the
world's largest
vase for us.
All right.
Now, do you have it there with you?
No.
No.
Have you seen it yourself?
Oh, yes.
And how big would it be?
About seven feet.
Seven feet.
And this child, this six-year-old child, about how tall was that kid?
Did you see the kid?
Yes.
That was on a postcard.
Uh-huh.
Oh, goodness.
I don't know.
I really wouldn't know the height of the little girl.
Well, it was about an average-sized kid, maybe?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, where did you see the vase, Betty?
This vase was a part of my parents' collection of pottery.
Uh-huh.
And where did they keep it?
In the antique shop, White Pillars Antique Shop.
Yeah.
Now, as far as you know, is there a curse on this thing, or...?
Well, as far as I know, there's no curse on this thing.
Uh-huh.
And what would you do as a kid?
Would you just kind of look at it, or...?
Yes.
Uh-huh.
And was it a pretty impressive sight?
Very impressive.
Yeah.
And it says here on this postcard that it was about $10,000.
Is that...?
Well, that was the value given at that time.
Uh-huh.
And what would you guess it is now?
Oh, my.
Well, I would imagine closer to $100,000,
although I'm not an appraiser in that area.
$100,000 for the world's largest vase,
and it was about seven feet tall.
Right.
So that's really larger than it ought to be, isn't it?
Yes.
Yeah.
Now, Betty, you don't have it anymore, correct?
Right.
Now, who actually has the vase now?
Well, I'm not sure,
but the man who bought the collection from my mother lives in Ames, Iowa.
Uh-huh.
Do you know the man's name?
Yes.
Okay.
Could we have the guy's name?
Um, let's see, Dr. Harold Nichols.
Uh-huh.
Ames, Iowa.
Uh-huh.
And do you have a phone number for the doctor?
Uh, yes.
Just a moment.
Okay.
Getting the phone number...
I have one...
Okay, turn down.
Okay, what is it, Betty?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Okay, great.
Uh, Betty, we're gonna call Dr. Nichols now
and see if we can't get him to bring the vase to New York.
I see.
Okay, thank you very much.
All right.
Uh, have a nice night.
You want to talk to my mother?
She's here.
Uh, yeah, oh, yeah, put mom on.
She's visiting me right now.
Oh, she's visiting?
Where's she visiting from?
California.
Oh, California.
I'm, uh, from the Golden State, sort of.
I see.
Yeah.
Originally from Indiana, and then I moved to California.
Yeah, but she likes California.
Oh, yeah, I like it.
I like it, too.
Yes.
Okay, you want to put her on now?
All right, just a moment.
Okay, this will be, uh, Betty...
Louise Proviance.
Proviance?
Right, Louise Proviance.
Okay.
Just a moment.
Okay.
Kind of an interesting...
Hello.
Hello, Louise?
Yes.
Hi, this is David Letterman.
I was just talking to your daughter, Betty, there, about the vase.
Yes.
Yeah.
Uh, well, okay.
We're, uh...
Uh, Louise, I would like to talk to you a little longer,
but we have to call this man in Iowa.
Oh.
All right.
Okay, uh, you understand, uh, we, we kind of want to wrap this up,
so, uh, thank you very much.
Have a nice day in Iowa, and give my best to the folks in California.
Okay, thank you.
Okay, Louise.
Louise.
Now, do we have time to do this?
Okay.
That was, uh, Betty Ward and her mother, Louise.
Now, we're calling, uh, Ames, Iowa.
I hope I get this number correct.
Ames, Iowa.
We're working our way farther and farther west.
It's exciting, isn't it?
It's a...
It's an epic journey.
Dr. Harold Nichols, Ames, Iowa.
Hello.
Hello.
How do...
Excuse me.
Could you say that one more time?
Just say that again, please.
Hello.
Uh, hi.
My name's David Letterman.
Is this Dr. Harold Nichols?
Yes.
Uh, Dr. Nichols, are you, are you aware of the fact that you pronounced the
word hello with
an N in it?
No, I didn't.
Try it one more time.
Hello.
No, no.
You changed it.
Uh, uh, listen, I'm calling from New York City, uh, Dr. Nichols.
How are you today?
Fine, thank you.
And how, how's...
How's, how's the weather there in Iowa?
It is delightful today.
Oh, that's good.
Now, uh, Dr. Nichols, uh, what do you do for a living, by the way?
I'm head wrestling coach at Iowa State.
Whoa.
Uh, Dr. Nichols, do you know a woman named, uh, Betty Ward in, uh, Zanesville,
Ohio?
Yes, I do.
Uh, and, uh, Betty told us that you have purchased from her and her family the
world's largest
vase.
Uh, that's right.
Uh, all right.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask you to get a grip on yourself now.
And, uh, where, where do you have the vase now, Dr. Nichols?
Well, right now it's in storage.
Uh, and, and how, how tall is it?
It's seven foot.
And, and what did you pay for it?
Well, it came in a total museum collection.
And it paid $300,000 for the museum.
Wow.
So, wrestling is pretty good business for you, isn't it?
You have enough sidelines, yes.
Yeah.
Uh, now, uh, do you, uh, doctor, do you pronounce, do you call it a vase or a
vase?
A vase.
And, uh, now when, uh, you don't, you don't let the, the kids wrestle near it,
do you?
No, sure don't.
Don't even live around it.
Yeah.
Uh, is this a pretty spectacular thing, the world's largest vase?
Oh, yes.
It's, uh, Weller.
It's Aurelian.
Uh, and it's beautiful.
Uh-huh.
Uh, now, uh, I, is, is it possible for you to, to get that thing shipped to us
here?
And we'd like to have it on display in our studio in New York.
Is that, at all possible, sir?
It's possible.
I'd have to get some wrestlers to move it.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Well, if, uh, if we arranged to have wrestlers, uh, move, move this artifact,
it would be okay
with you then, huh?
Sure.
Oh, okay.
Well, that's great.
I'll tell you what we'll do.
Uh, I'm gonna put you on hold here.
We'll get some information from you, and we'll try to set up some sort of a, uh,
uh, exhibit
here in the studio.
All right.
Okay.
And, uh, say hello for me one more time.
Hello.
No, now you're, you, you, you did, you did it differently.
You, you said, hello.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Uh, Dr. Nichols, hang on, and we'll get the information from you.
There's, uh, Dr. Nichols.
Uh, we'll be right back with the mother of Frank the Animal Fletcher.
After you take a look at it.
Uh, uh, a couple of weeks ago, ladies and gentlemen, uh, we, uh, uh, were sent,
uh, someone sent
this, uh, postcard to us in the mail, of which I have a copy right here.
Uh, and, uh, what you have here is something called the world's largest vase,
and the caption
on the back of the postcard says, a six-year-old girl admires the world's
largest vase, uh, made
in Zanesville, Ohio in 1897.
Well, uh, we thought it would be interesting if we could, uh, find out just
exactly where
this, uh, vase was.
It doesn't really give the dimensions of the vase, um, and we found out that it's,
uh, presently
owned by a gentleman who lives, uh, in Iowa, and, uh, he is here tonight.
We phoned him a couple of weeks ago, and, uh, we have the world's largest vase,
uh, in our
studio, and it will be, uh, on display all week.
If, now that school is out, it'd be a good, a good trip for, for you and the
kids to just
come in, in here to see it.
Uh, before we show you the vase, uh, I'd like now to, uh, introduce, um, from
Ames, Iowa,
uh, one of the most respected, uh, collegiate wrestling coaches in the United
States.
Please welcome Dr. Harold Nichols, ladies and gentlemen.
Hi, David.
Now, you, you, you have, uh, this, of course, is not the world's largest vase,
is it?
That's a present for you.
Oh, thank you very much.
This is, uh, that's what the world's largest vase looks like, right?
Somewhat like that, yeah.
Now, uh, first of all, tell me about, uh, your coaching experience at, uh, Iowa
State University.
How many national collegiate championships have you won there?
Six.
And how long have you been, uh, the head man there?
Thirty years.
And you also coached, uh, Dan Gable and, uh, many other Olympic stars?
Dan Gable, Ben Peterson, Chris Taylor.
Yeah.
And, uh, your most recent, uh, NCAA championship was when?
Mm, 1977.
77.
And do you, do you remember your win-lost record?
No, I've never kept track of that.
It was over 450, I think.
Well, we have here, um, for, this is, of course, the, the, uh, the latest
record.
409 victories, 57 defeats, and 11 ties, and that's a, uh, uh, 869, uh, uh, out
of a thousand
the percentage.
That's unbelievable.
Um.
Now, uh, how, uh, how, how is it you ended up with the world's largest vase?
How did that happen?
Well, I started collecting pottery, and, uh, in the process, tried to get a
number of the
different, uh, pieces in Roseville and Weller, the different lines, there come
in different
patterns.
And, uh, to get some of those, I had to buy a pretty large collection.
Yeah.
Uh, the vase itself that we're talking about, how big is that?
That's seven feet.
Seven feet tall.
Yeah.
Uh, and, uh, uh, valuable, this thing?
Uh, they say a quarter of a million dollars.
A quarter of a million dollars.
Now, uh, on the, uh, uh, postcard here, we see, uh, uh, a six-year-old girl admiring
it,
according to the, uh, legend back here.
Now, do you know whatever became of the six-year-old girl?
I have no idea.
That's, uh, back in the 40s.
Yeah.
Now, what, what do you do with the vase?
Well, I just keep it in storage most of the time.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, do you ever take it with you to wrestling meets?
No, I've got some wrestlers big enough to carry it, but then, uh, yeah.
All right, well, uh, uh, we sent it out all the way from Iowa, and, uh, at a
pretty good
expense, and it's insured, and, uh, I understand, now, the guard back there is
no joke, is he?
No.
I mean, uh, the insurance company said you got to have the, all right, uh, let's
go now and, uh,
take a look at, uh, the world's largest vase, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's...
How do you do?
Nice to see you.
What is your name, sir?
Douglas Parham.
Douglas, I'm David Letterman, and this is, uh, Dr. Nichols.
He owns the vase, and, uh, we'd just like to...
You would