Name: David Letterman and Conan O'Brien, Part 1: 1993-2009, Recut
Uploaded: 2018-08-29T07:45:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman and Conan O'Brien, Part 1: 1993-2009, Recut' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-08-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman and Conan O'Brien, Part 1: 1993-2009, Recut' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-08-29. Transcript available.

David Letterman and Conan O'Brien, Part 1: 1993-2009, Recut

The gentleman who will take over this program is Conan O'Brien.
I've met him a couple of times.
The only thing I know about Conan for sure is that he's been in prison.
That's all I know. I don't know. I know he killed a guy.
And he's been on the show, and as I said to him when he was a guest on our
program,
I hope for Conan and his staff all of the success and the happiness that we
here have been able to achieve,
and I sincerely mean that for him and his folks.
Also, I hope that he finds it in his heart sometime down the road
to invite me back here from time to time.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
I would get a kick out of that.
Our next guest is the personable young host of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien,"
which can be seen nightly on another network.
Which one?
There you go.
Ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor and give a nice warm welcome to our friend
Conan O'Brien.
Conan, come on out.
Conan O'Brien, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show, welcome to the Ed
Sullivan Theater.
This is beautiful.
Fantastic.
It's a pleasure to have you here.
You know, even if I wasn't somehow involved in this story, I would be
fascinated by it.
Don't you think?
Yes.
Yes.
It's a fascinating story.
The whole thing.
How have things gone for you over there?
Has it been kind of more of an adjustment than you thought it might be moving?
Well, you were primarily a writer, I guess, before this.
Yes.
Yes.
I had done some performing, but there are a lot of things, as you know, to get
used to.
It's a very complicated job.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I didn't understand this when I took the job, but there's someone
called a stage
manager on these shows.
I'm sorry.
What do you say, Conan?
A stage manager.
Oh.
Yes.
You should write this down, Dave.
You see, Dave, TV's a very complicated thing.
I'll talk to you after the show.
Anyway, there are these stage managers.
I didn't know this was part of the deal.
Their job is to give you these signals, like two minutes left, one minute, 30
seconds.
They keep you posted.
They keep you posted.
They're your connection to the control room.
That's right.
Exactly.
And you get some strange ones.
I mean, about three weeks ago on the show, I'm doing an interview.
It seems to be going well.
And they hold up a card that says, "Wipe your chin."
And I felt like Ronald Reagan or something.
It was very...
I mean, I remember thinking, "Is this part of the deal?"
You know?
I felt like a complete idiot.
And, of course, everyone in the whole studio knew that I was drooling.
I didn't know.
They hold up a card and the whole audience can see it.
"Wipe your chin, idiot."
And...
They said, "Wipe your chin, idiot."
They added an idiot.
Oh, my God.
We had a supermodel.
We had a supermodel on the show.
Beautiful woman.
Which one?
I don't know, Dave.
I know.
It was a one-night stand.
I don't know.
Hey, hello.
Look out.
No, but she came out wearing a slip that was just barely...
She was barely wearing this slip.
And the interview is about three minutes into the interview.
I'm in the moment.
I'm talking to her.
We're having a good conversation.
When they wave a card that says, "Her breast is showing."
Whoa!
And it occurred to me, "Why are you showing me this card?"
"What can I do about this?"
If I try and correct the problem, I will be sued.
They want me to leave.
One false move and you're in handcuffs.
I was more than happy to try, but it's very...
The other thing I've noticed, you don't have this problem anymore.
You may never have had this problem.
But when you do a 12:30 show, I've noticed that when people compliment you on
an episode,
they also feel obligated to tell you why they were up that late.
And it's very funny.
I mean, people come up to me and say, "You know, I saw you with Liza Gibbons.
You were really...
It was a great interview.
I really liked it.
Someone pulled a fire alarm in our building."
And so, you know, I was coming back into the house.
The TV was on.
Or someone will say...
Someone will say, "I saw you with Rich Hall."
It was a very funny segment.
I burned my hand about two days ago.
And I have an ointment or a balm that I have to apply every...
Every few hours.
Every few hours.
And so I was applying the balm.
The TV happened to be on.
And it was not a bad show at all.
Time for the medication.
And I'm just using it as a night light.
So you're right there.
So it keeps my ego in check.
I know more about people's maladies now than I ever...
You know, you do.
I was on...
You were nice enough to have me on the show a few months ago.
Two or three months ago.
You were nice enough to come.
It was great.
And when I watch the show, I'm very impressed because it always looks like you
and your staff,
a bunch of hardworking, smart people, doing a great show.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.
I think it still continues to be very impressive.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate it.
Thank you very much.
I do appreciate it.
We got a...
You know, here are stage managers.
They take naps next to the camera.
I've noticed that.
We...
He's out cold.
We'll do us a commercial and continue visiting here with Conan O'Brien, kids.
Come on back.
How do you do, ladies and gentlemen?
Welcome back to the Dragantic Program.
Conan O'Brien from the very popular late-night television program, Late Night
with Conan O'Brien.
And I found this very impressive.
I was told...
I guess this is true.
Tell me if it's not.
You received...
Oh, that's good, Biff.
Thank you very much.
I'm trying.
I'm trying.
I'm doing the best I can.
Just put that away and go back to sleep.
Thank you.
I was told that you received a...
Like a...
Was it a fan letter from the White House from President Clinton?
Yes.
President Clinton sent me a letter.
Said he was a fan of the show.
I think Hee Haw also got a letter.
I don't know.
But...
No, I was very impressed.
I got the letter and then he followed it up by inviting me to the White House.
That's very nice.
Yeah, it was terrific.
It was for...
This is true.
Prominent Irish Americans.
It was on St. Patrick's Day.
And...
I don't know why one would laugh at that.
But...
The...
There were some very famous people.
Richard Harris was there.
Michael Keaton was there.
And then there was some...
I think Donnie Most from Happy Days was there.
I didn't...
Also, I didn't know...
Ralph Mouth.
It turns out he isn't even Irish.
He just has red hair.
So, they invited him to and I thought this is a great opportunity.
I'm going to get a...
You know, when I meet Clinton...
Yeah.
I want it to be this great exchange that I can then live off of for the rest of
my life.
Looking for a moment.
I wanted a great moment.
Yeah.
I can just tell this story.
You know, for a hundred years afterwards about my great meeting with the
president.
And what did I say?
So, I'm in line.
You wait in this long line to meet the president.
And I'm thinking, I might give him one of these, you know, "It's nice to meet
you."
Gotcha.
You know, I might try...
I might try something a little...
Something punky.
Sure.
Yeah, something a little punky that I can then tell people.
And they'll be like, "Wow, you did that?"
So, I'm thinking in the line.
I'm thinking in the line.
And you get to the head of the line.
It's like a ride at Disney.
Suddenly, you go over the top.
A gate opens.
You get to the end of the line.
And I'm shot out right there to President Clinton.
And I froze.
I completely froze.
All those, you know, wise-aleck ideas go right out of your head.
And the president said, "This is Colonel O'Brien.
He's one of our late-night talk show hosts.
And he is..."
This is Mike Clinton, by the way.
Yeah.
Very effective.
Yeah, I'm just telling you.
I'm not an impressionist, but...
Could have been Reagan, too.
Yeah.
It's all-purpose.
Your all-purpose presidential impression.
This is my all-purpose impression.
It could be so many people.
But anyways, he's one of our late-night talk show hosts,
and his people are from Ireland.
And the Prime Minister of Ireland is right there.
And the Prime Minister of Ireland said,
"Tommy, where are you from?
Where are your people from?"
And the Prime Minister leans in, like, "I really want to know."
And Clinton leans in, like, "Oh, man, this is gonna be good, yeah."
Yeah.
He leans in, too, and there's this moment, and I said,
"I don't know."
And immediately, immediately the line pushes past me.
Donnie...
Donnie Most was next.
He said something really clever.
You know, he hung out with the President all night.
You become an instant boo.
Yeah.
And so, yeah, later that night, I'm trying to live off this story.
Like, you know what I said to him?
I don't know.
That's pretty good, huh?
You know, it sounds a little like Clinton, a little like Reagan,
and a little like Clint Eastwood.
So you have kind of a whole new thing going there.
You have a, yeah, it's a collage.
Now, here's a part of this story that you are probably sick and tired of
talking about,
because I think people are under the impression that you came from nowhere
to suddenly be hosting a network television program.
Exactly.
Exactly.
But you had performing experience before this, didn't you?
I had performing experience.
I had done a lot of improvisation.
I had worked with the Groundlings Theater.
I had done quite a bit of work on Saturday Night Live.
And I also had been doing so well in my performing career, Dave,
that I actually was in the pilot of a very successful NBC sitcom.
Really?
And for some reason, I'm not really sure why they cut me after the pilot was
done.
And the show went...
So you were only in the pilot.
I was only in the pilot, and the show went on to become quite successful.
I'm a little bitter about it, but it's not a big deal.
I think we have a clip of that, and we're going to show it if you don't...
You have a clip of it?
Yeah.
Well, do me a favor.
Go ahead and roll it.
Don't know about the future.
That's anybody's guess.
Ain't no good reason for getting all depressed.
Fire up your pen and pencil.
I'll give you a piece of my mind.
In my opinion, the sun is gonna surely shine.
Well, I think it all worked out for the best.
I think so.
Very disappointing.
Conan, nice to see you.
Thanks for having me on, Dave.
Great job.
And a great job with the show.
Say hello to the folks back over there.
I will do that. Thank you.
Conan O'Brien, folks.
We'll be right back here.
All right.
All right.
It's all over.
We're moments away from being unplugged.
Now, here's some bad news.
We've run out of time, and our friend Dave Edmonds will not be on the show
tonight.
Gosh, I wonder when we lost that time.
Anyway, he was nice enough to come back and visit with us one night next week.
My thanks also to Conan O'Brien and Jamie Lee Curtis.
Monday, Damon Wayans, John Cicada.
And from the Texas Rangers, the first man in the history of the American League,
a left-hander to throw a perfect game, Kenny Rogers, will be on the show.
All right.
Good night, folks.
Thanks for being here, everybody.
Thank you.
Pants.
Pants.
Pants.
When is it, Paul?
Have we done the Academy Awards yet?
No.
It's a week from Monday.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I'm having them again.
Every night for the last two or three months, I have these nightmares.
I've got to host the Academy Awards, and I wait.
Oh, yeah.
That'll be great.
And it's getting to me.
It's under my skin.
It's making me a little hinky.
You know what I'm saying?
You know, hinky.
You know what I'm talking about?
A little.
Like that.
And I